The Art of Conversation
Jack was fitful, restlessly tossing and turning in his bed and waking in a sweat. He reached over for Sam, but the bed was empty.
"Crap!" he swore aloud, lying back in their bed and sighing heavily, scrubbing his hands through his hair, the sweat from his nightmare dampening his fingers.
When she'd moved into his apartment in Washington, one of his biggest fears was the nightmares. Most of the time he could fight and control them, even while asleep, so they would be non-existent. Sometimes, rarely, he couldn't stop them. They'd invade his psyche and take him over, torturing his mind with images he would rather forget, and they could be bad. Very bad. Hell on earth. Payback for all he had done, lived through and witnessed.
He would scream, break out in a cold sweat, and lash out at nothing, or maybe at himself. He would fight to pull back from the brink of what seemed to be so real, try to reason with himself that they were nightmares, making himself wake, occasionally in tears of pain, confusion and loss. And it would take a long time for him to regain equilibrium. He rarely slept again afterwards. The nightmares would live on in his waking dreams until he won his battle once again. It seemed the battle could be won, but never the war. He knew it was hard to ask anyone to live with that.
Jack realised he probably should have told her about them before she moved in, but how could he do that? What was he supposed to say?
"Sam, there's been all this bad stuff that's happened over the years and sometimes I have nightmares, flashbacks, and sometimes I wake up screaming."
It didn't seem the right kind of thing to say to a woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with but, nevertheless, he should have told her. The first time he had screamed in his sleep, waking up with the shakes and cold sweats, Sam had braved his wrath, his temporary madness, warding off his unintentional, but real, physical attack and taken him in her arms, pulling him close and giving him succour.
She whispered in his ear that everything would be all right, rocking him gently, crying along with him, and it had seemed that it was all right, until the next time. It didn't happen often, only twice since they'd been together, and both times she had been there, telling him she loved him and reassuring him.
He hated exposing that side of himself to anyone, even Sam, and maybe especially her; hated the feeling of vulnerability and fallibility that the situation created; hated appearing weak and defenceless. He wanted to be strong for her and feared that his lack of strength would tear them apart, that she would lose her respect for him and see something inside him that she could no longer love.
Despite this fear, this time when he was alone, Jack wished he wasn't. He was getting used to her being around and his reliance on their relationship scared him, but also filled him with joy. It was a contradiction that he would have to learn to live with and he hoped he could because, for him, their relationship was forever.
When he'd woken up screaming the second time around, he had started to open up to her and that was something very special. He didn't do that often and was startled, but pleased, to discover that he could with her a little, and even wanted to.
That night, he talked to her about some of the bad stuff inside of him, and some of its causes, opening a chink into the soul of Jack O'Neill and his darkness and demons. It seemed to bring them closer, not tear them apart as he had feared, and he was forever grateful for that. Sam was in a position to understand more than many women ever would, and it seemed that she wanted to understand and wanted to know more, see more, see everything.
Everything might be asking too much, Jack thought, but a little? Maybe that would be okay. With those things that were so personal, horrific and deeply buried, small steps were giant leaps for Jack. Sometimes he wondered whether he would lose her if he didn't open up, or lose her if he did, and felt caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. Most of the time, however, he tried to forget all that, live his life with her, and be happier than he had been for many years.
She'd been gone for a few weeks and he missed her very much. They'd talked briefly on the phone a couple of times, but Jack was a little uncomfortable about that form of communication with Sam. Words were not his big thing and he mainly communicated his feelings in other ways, by touch, a smile, a gesture, an expression, or even just a look in his eyes; something simple but extremely effective. He missed the proximity that allowed him to do that, and he missed her doing the same with him. With them, silence often spoke louder than any number of words.
Jack hadn't realised how hard it would be when she wasn't around, but he was stuck in Washington while she was in Colorado because they needed her at the SGC. It made him wonder what he would do if she decided to go back permanently. He knew she missed it; so did he.
This was by no means the first time they'd been apart. Both travelled for their work. Sometimes Jack went to Antarctica, the SGC or Nellis, even the alpha site. Sam was a regular visitor to Nellis, as part of the special project she was working on. Neither was gone for more than a couple of days or so at any one time. This, however, was their longest separation by far. A few weeks. It seemed such a very long time: a lifetime.
Her work in Washington was linked to alien technologies, of course. Jack figured, why have an expert in that kind of stuff and waste their talents on something ordinary? Sam was a genius: smart and beautiful. What a combination! Her assignment was expected to last about a year. It gave them some time but they didn't know what would happen after that and six months had gone already. It had whizzed by all too quickly and Jack knew that the next six months would probably feel like tomorrow. Too short, too soon.
Before long they might have to make a choice - or he might have to make a choice. He imagined telling The President that he was retiring because he couldn't bear to be so distanced from the woman he loved. Hayes would probably laugh, clap him on the back and tell him not to be so stupid, that other things were more important. The President was a difficult man to say no to.
Looking at the time, he wondered whether to get up or try going back to sleep, but suspected that staying in bed was going to be a waste of time; it normally was after a nightmare. Sleep was unlikely to look kindly on him now. So he rose and made coffee, thinking about Sam and their future, and hoping that they had one.
She was due back later and he had plans for this evening - big plans. Dinner, candlelight, maybe some dancing; a romantic gesture to tell her he loved her without the words, although he planned to use the words too. He was taking the day off to prepare for it. The first thing was shopping, and he considered hitting a 24/7 to get it out of the way.
The last 6 months had been pretty special to Jack. She had been there to help pick an apartment but, when he moved, she could only get away for a few days to help him settle in. Her attachment didn't start until 5 weeks after he left. It had been a long 5 weeks, with Jack getting back to Colorado as often as he could, which was once, and Sam never quite managing to make it to Washington.
The great part of his new job was that, theoretically, he had an excuse to visit the SGC anytime he liked. The downside was that it mostly wasn't practical to do so. Now he had a whole hell of a lot more to do than keep an eye on the SGC. He was head of Home World Security, for crying out loud, and the Stargate was only part of the whole picture. There was Antarctica for starters, a nightmare of gigantic proportions in its own right.
Jack wasn't sure why he'd agreed to do this job - he hated Antarctica. He swore the place was a living entity that was out to get him. Each previous visit had resulted in a near death experience.
He'd been stuck there with Sam, which might have been nice if he hadn't been badly injured and dying at the time. A crazy alien virus he'd caught there had damned near killed him, forcing him to become a Tok'ra host, something he never wanted and something that Sam had persuaded him into against his better judgement. He didn't even want to think about the result of that debacle; the number of times he was tortured, died and brought back to a living hell all over again, seemingly without hope of a final end.
The ancient download that helped him to save Earth from Anubis would have killed him for sure if he hadn't gone into suspended animation in Antarctica for a long spell. He had been pretty positive he wouldn't make it that time either. Last, but not least, he'd nearly been blown out of the skies by an Ancient drone - and someone who was supposed to be on his side had caused that incident!
Sometimes Jack thought life just liked throwing him a curve ball. It had something personal against Jack O'Neill. All in all, Antarctica had been pretty bad news so he was pleasantly surprised when his first visit to the place in his new role turned out to be totally benign. He even managed to enjoy himself.
When Sam finally arrived in Washington, deliberately coming early and thwarting his plans to meet her at the airport, she appeared as a vision of loveliness at their door, and his heart leapt with joy. He picked her up and swung her around in his arms, and then pulled her towards him and held her close for 5 minutes before he even uttered a word.
"Welcome to Washington, Sam, or should I say back to Washington?" Were the first words he uttered and then he planted a huge kiss on her lips.
"The apartment's looking good Jack," she said, looking around.
"I cleaned up a little in honor of your arrival."
Both Jack and Sam were anxious about their future together. They had gone from CO and subordinate, and friends, to lovers and now this, in such a short space of time. It was only a couple of months or so since they'd first got together in Minnesota. Was all of this happening too quickly? They both feared that it was, but also wanted to try this life together. They'd already wasted enough time.
"It's good to be here." She declared, somewhat of an understatement.
She couldn't believe how much she had missed Jack, or how much she wanted to be with him. Now the relationship had finally started she wanted to give it the best shot she could but feared that the odds were against them. There was so much past to overcome, for both of them, both the shared and non-shared kind. They each had their own baggage and she hoped the load would not become too burdensome.
Jack stared at her, drinking her in, and held out his hand to brush her cheek.
"I'm so happy you're here Sam. I've missed you," he confessed, at last.
"Me too," she stepped forward to give him another hug.
"So this is it, huh?" he said.
"Yes, this is it," she smiled weakly.
"Scared?"
"Yes," her voice was a whisper.
"Me too."
They were both used to living alone, their own habits and foibles. Now they had to get used to sharing and compromise. It could be tough and neither knew quite what to expect.
Jack reflected that it all seemed to have gone pretty well so far. They'd had their moments - their arguments, the times they got in each other's way, the times they wanted their own space - but these things would inevitably happen and they found ways to overcome them and move on.
They promised each other that they would never part with bad words hanging between them and, to date, they had kept that promise, although he couldn't imagine that the time wouldn't come when it happened, and he dreaded that moment. They could both be too proud and too stubborn and it took a lot to swallow that to kiss and make up, but it was worth it. How long before it didn't seem worth it?
They settled into routines, the mundane and everyday things, and found they quite liked sharing and could compromise, despite the differences between them. But they also had a lot of fun, either going out or staying in.
They got invited to many parties and receptions, some of which they felt obliged to attend and often enjoyed despite their natural inclinations to dislike such gatherings. Jack took Sam out on large numbers of dates, trying to make up for lost time. They wined, dined and danced and sometimes spent weekends out of Washington, exploring just as they might have explored Colorado outside of the Springs, given that opportunity.
Their sex life was extremely active as well as enormously enjoyable and satisfactory. They tried not to take themselves too seriously and it was fun. They had travelled a huge distance since those nervous, tentative first steps in Minnesota, wanting, pleasing and satisfying each other in a way that surprised them both.
Jack figured that the sexual tension which had built up over the years, the dreams and desires, had set them up for a hard fall. They would be disappointed; they would never live up to the fantasy. He was wrong. They fit together and that was pretty great.
Most important of all was that they spent lots of time together. This was the fundamental thing that they needed and wished for. Much of the time they were happy to be in each other's company and, although there were a lot of silences between them, they were rarely uncomfortable ones. Instead they were filled with contentment and affection. The silence did not mean that they did not communicate, only that they communicated with something other than words.
Over the years they had made an art of wordless communications, and now they were mastering a whole new language: silent conversations that spoke of love and companionship.
They were in love, enjoyed each other and, each day they were together, would learn something new about the other, however small and trivial it might be. The small and trivial are important when you live together, often disproportionately so, and can make or break a relationship. At the moment he believed they weighed up on the side of making it and Jack found that extremely gratifying.
He so much wanted them to make it, but they'd only been living together for 6 months, and circumstances had forced them to rush into that so quickly after their relationship had started; perhaps too quickly. He wanted to believe it could continue forever as thrillingly and happily as it had been up to now. That was what he yearned for more than anything.
*****************************
Sam tried to relax and let the plane take the strain but she was still keyed up from her weeks back at the SGC. Until she went back she hadn't appreciated quite how much she was really missing it. Living with Jack was great. She loved him, and the time they spent together was precious to her after their years apart, but her work at the Pentagon was somewhat less fulfilling.
Sighing, she closed her eyes again. 'Think good thoughts,' she told herself. Drifting off into a daydream, she thought about Minnesota. It seemed so long ago and a lot had changed. She told Jack that she would give everything up for him and, in many ways, she had, but it felt wrong. She hated that it should, but it did.
She needed to talk to Jack about it sometime, she knew that, but it never seemed to be the right time or the right thing to do. Heads you lose, tails you lose. What were they going to do when her assignment was finished? They would find her something else in Washington if she wanted it, but part of her heart still yearned for the SGC and the rest was with Jack in Washington. Did one of them have to lose everything, and was she truly prepared to make that sacrifice? Or was he?
In Minnesota she had been caught up in the moment, and then in many moments in the weeks and months that followed, and had tried not to over think it. This was exactly what they had been avoiding for all of those years. Yes, there were the regs, but there were their careers, their work: the SGC and fighting the big bad alien guy. Jack was still doing that, although he would prefer to be 'out there' with a P90 in his hands. There was no going back to that anymore, Generals don't normally do that kind of thing, but at least he still played his part in the fight, and a big one.
What about her? They had sacrificed their love for years but now Sam was afraid that sacrificing the work would kill that love. What an irony it would be. Ho, ho ho.
Minnesota. it was so good to be with him, in his arms, safe, secure and loved. Their lovemaking had been wonderful but even better was the intimacy, and the magic. They connected; it was that simple. Now it seemed more complicated. They were into the everyday living together stuff. That was a lot tougher, although she loved him and loved being with him. She was her own woman, wasn't she? Yet she was committed to Jack; absolutely committed. And the magic was still there, but one can't live on magic alone.
That first night they spent together at the cabin had been special and the magic seemed like a dream. She recalled thinking, 'this is Jack O'Neill. These are his arms around my body, caressing me, and loving me, that's his breath in my face,' like a lovesick schoolgirl, or perhaps just a lovesick woman. Next morning they had done everything together: made love, showered, breakfasted, and relaxed; touched, breathed, seen, talked and been silent.
Then Daniel and Teal'c had returned in the late afternoon. They heard the SUV and separated, sitting further apart and acting like they were only friends. Why had they done that? They felt awkward, and nervous. The archaeologist and the Jaffa were their friends, so they couldn't fathom why, or how each had acted unprompted by the other. Sam smiled at the memory.
"Tut, tut! What time do you call this, kids?" Jack said tapping his watch. Daniel greeted the words with a slightly nervous smile.
"Sorry we didn't get in touch. Hope you weren't worried. You know this place and phones."
"Luckily, Daniel, you had a grown up with you, so I knew you were in capable hands." Jack joked and Daniel rolled his eyes. "What happened?"
Daniel was overly effusive, explaining they'd broken down, spending the night in a Motel. Then, as if not wishing to be cross-examined on that subject, which he didn't, went on to describe where they'd been and what they'd seen with energetic enthusiasm.
'He never did lie very well,' thought Jack, considering asking him about the breakdown in minute detail so he could watch him stammer and redden. Sometimes he enjoyed making Daniel squirm, considering it a worthy aim in life. He suppressed a laugh. What the hey? He was in way too good a mood to provoke Daniel into a sulk.
"So, what have you guys been up to?" Daniel asked when he ran out of steam.
Sam felt the blood rush to her face in a blush and her eyes met Jack's for the first time since their friends had arrived. He forced himself to look at Daniel, his own cheeks turning a tinge of pink. It pissed him off that he was embarrassed about something he'd enjoyed and shared with Sam.
"Oh, this and that. you know." He said, avoiding any direct answer.
"Not really." Daniel's demeanour said that he expected more.
"Yeah, well." Jack shrugged and looked at Sam again.
She smiled encouragingly, nodding to his unspoken question, while Daniel waited somewhat impatiently, wondering if the pair had finally got their act together or not. He guessed yes, but was eager for confirmation.
"We. erm. we."
Jack didn't know what to say so moved closer to Sam and took her hand, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards him. Daniel and Teal'c looked at them blankly and Sam nearly laughed aloud. Jack was being pretty obvious but their two friends had apparently planned to play obtuse. It was probably Daniel's idea of a joke, with Teal'c reluctantly persuaded to play along on the grounds that Daniel would never shut up if he didn't.
"Aw, crap!" Jack exclaimed, "Sam.?" She looked at him askance; he was passing the buck.
"Is that what you call delegation, General?" She lifted a hand and smoothed it through his grey hair.
"Um. I-I. aw, hell!"
Jack kissed her. He always had been one for action over words. When they looked up at their friends, Daniel's face was split into a wide grin and Teal'c wore much more than a mere ghost of a smile.
"So you guys are alright with this?" Jack asked.
"We've been rooting for you, haven't we Teal'c?" Daniel responded, "just leave us out of it when you tell Hammond."
Jack and Sam looked at him sharply.
"Daniel!" they both exclaimed.
"Sorry! I promised myself I wouldn't mention that." Daniel reddened. He didn't want to spoil their time together.
"We'll deal with it, guys, I promise. So let's not go there. Not here, huh?" Jack said.
That was it. The matter was never discussed between the four of them again on that vacation and the couple's relationship was more or less taken for granted. Jack and Sam behaved like a couple in front of their friends, touching, holding hands, the odd kiss and cuddle. Jack would run his hand through her hair or his fingers along her arm. Sam would smile softly at Jack, stroking his cheek gently or resting her head on his shoulder while Jack's arm was draped around her, holding her close. They were at peace and it warmed Daniel's heart. Teal'c also appeared to be pleased.
Although close, Jack and Sam went out of their way to ensure that their two friends did not feel excluded or uncomfortable. They knew what it was like to feel like a ham sandwich at a Bar Mitzvah. This vacation was intended for all four of them to relax in each other's company: to lick old wounds, celebrate their friendship, and their recent victory over the Goa'uld and Replicators. They had come too close to losing everything, including each other, and shared a need to be together. So, although visibly intimate, the new couple's true passion was kept firmly behind closed doors. There was plenty of time for that.
When they got back to Colorado, Jack told Sam a small and semi-embarrassing, though amusing, story about a short exchange between him and Daniel when they were alone.
"So Jack," said Daniel, "you know the answer."
"To what?"
"To one of the biggest questions in SGC land. You know, all you overly hormonally charged military types."
"Daniel, get to it will ya?"
The younger man peered around to ensure no one else was close-by and spoke in a low voice.
"You know, the question on everyone's lips. There's a book on this one, Jack."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Is Sam a natural blonde?"
Jack's eyes widened in realisation. It had all started with Ferretti in the very early days at the SGC, before they first went to Chulak and things fell to pieces for both of his old friends. Ferretti and Kawalski were totally incorrigible and Jack had to confess that he hadn't tried particularly hard, if at all, to stop them and was now slightly ashamed of that. Then again, there are always people like Ferretti and Kawalski to carry on the age-old tradition of mockery, and Jack was far from beyond having a joke at someone else's expense. Women in the armed forces were fair game, to a degree, as were geeks.
Ferretti had been the first to ask whether the guys thought she was a natural blonde, and started taking bets. Jack thought it was a poor bet because, with only two options, you had to share the pot with too many other people, but he bet anyway.
It was Kawalski who had raised the stakes when he maintained that there was only one piece of acceptable conclusive evidence - the color of her public hair. That meant that one of them had to see it. Kawalski figured that if one of them saw her privates for themselves they probably deserved to get the jackpot, assuming they were right about her natural hair color. No one had ever managed to do that, until now.
"Daniel! I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer. I'm surprised at you!"
"Aw Jack."
"Absolutely no way, amigo. I am so not going there." He noticed Daniel was about to open his mouth, so pre-empted him. "I have waay too much respect for Sam, Daniel, and so should you." Daniel blushed, feeling a little ashamed.
"Didn't stop you placing a bet."
"Yeah, well things have changed a lot since then, or hadn't you noticed?" he smiled and clapped Daniel on the back, "Tell you something, though, screw the bet; I won the jackpot big style." The smile turned into a grin and Daniel chuckled.
"You sure did. I'm happy for you Jack."
"Thanks, pal. I'm happy for me too. Couldn't be much happier, as a matter of fact."
When he told her the story, Sam didn't know whether to feel insulted or flattered and finally opted for the latter. A few years ago she would have chosen the first option, but she had changed and was a lot less uptight now. Since Minnesota things had changed even more.
*
That evening of her return to Washington, Sam opened the apartment door and a wonderful aroma hit her nose. She sniffed at it with her mouth watering.
"Honey, I'm home!" she called to alert Jack she was there, but he obviously knew because he stood framed in the doorway of their living room, smiling and wearing a tux. A tux? Sam did a double take.
"Hoping I'll rip that off you General O'Neill?" She said with a lascivious grin as Jack wrapped his arms around her in greeting.
"Mmm. maybe later. Dinner first. I've cooked."
"You have? It smells great. Do I have time to unwind, take a shower?"
"Yeah. Come in and sit down Sam." He left her luggage in the hallway and led her into the living room, urging her to sit. "Wanna drink?"
He fixed them both drinks and sat beside her, taking her hand and stroking it gently.
"So, what's the tux in honor of Jack?"
"Dinner with you. I just wanted to make it a bit special to welcome you home."
"Cute! So should I shower and change into something more glamorous?"
"If you want to. You look great in anything Sam." She smiled to acknowledge the compliment and determined to change and make herself look special. If he could do it for her, she could do it for him. "How was it at the SGC?" he asked.
"Same old, same old. One thing after another. And we thought it might calm down after we defeated the Goa'uld. Some hope of that! General Landry seems to be doing okay. He was a good choice to replace you Jack."
"I hoped he would be."
"You're a hard act to follow."
"Wow! Was that a compliment about my generalling abilities?"
"Yes. You were a great CO Jack, the best; General or Colonel."
He blushed, which made Sam smile. Jack still found it hard to take a compliment even though she threw them at him frequently, but she knew they made him feel good despite his natural modesty.
"Thanks." He said quietly, kissing her hair. "How about Daniel and Teal'c? They okay?"
"They're great considering everything that's been going on lately! I miss them, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"How's it been here?"
"Busy. Fine. Lots of paperwork, meetings, yadda." He gestured to indicate the addition of another couple of yaddas, rolling his eyes.
"You miss the SGC, don't you?"
"Yeah. You know me. I never was a big fan of Washington, but I'll hack it, for now. You're here and that helps."
"But we don't know how long." She started to say but he stopped her words with a kiss.
"Don't suck the fun out of it tonight, Sam. Let's just pretend, okay?"
"Pretend? Pretend what?"
"Just pretend like there's nothing but us."
She looked at him long and hard, remembering her thoughts on the plane and wondering what was on his mind. About to say something, she decided against it, smiling instead and kissing his lips.
"Okay. What's for dinner?" She was trying to identify it.
"Surprise. You aren't allowed into the kitchen. Not yet."
"You've got a deal as long as you stay out of the bedroom while I get ready."
"Can I keep my hands off you for that long?" he joked.
"Later on you can have all the hands on experience you want Jack."
"I'll look forward to that." He nibbled her ear and she batted him off playfully.
"And I'll look forward to my surprise dinner. I'm gonna go get showered and changed. No peeking."
While Sam was gone, Jack finished off the meal. Everything else was ready, had been for hours, but the final touches needed attention. He had spent the day shopping, preparing food, and getting the kitchen to look perfect.
One of the reasons they chose this apartment was because, although it was way smaller than either of them were used to in Colorado, there was a large kitchen that allowed them to have a small dining table and chairs. All the rooms were large, there just weren't that many of them.
When he'd finished, Jack put on some music and sat in their living room drinking a scotch while waiting. When she walked in, his jaw dropped. She'd put on make-up, done something with her hair and was wearing an evening dress that he'd never seen before. Put simply, she looked stunning. He stood to greet her and couldn't pull his eyes away.
"Breathtaking." He muttered softly, a small smile on his lips and eyes twinkling in appreciation.
The dress shimmered in the light, dancing as she moved. The fabric was pale blue with a sheen, and the dress was short with thin straps. Her legs looked long and lean in a short dress, and were further enhanced by a pair of high-heeled blue sandals, which toned perfectly with the dress. She sashayed towards him, a sultry smile on her face, and placed a finger under his jaw.
"You'll catch flies, Jack," she joked, closing his mouth and then kissing him on it. She smelled delicious.
"T-the dress is. wow!"
"I was saving it for a special occasion. This is special, isn't it? I've been away for weeks and I've missed you."
"Give it another few months and you'll be desperate to get away from me for a few weeks." He teased, but she knew that underneath that tease were some real fears that lay in Jack's heart.
"I very much doubt that Jack O'Neill."
"What did I do to deserve you?" he said with a huge grin.
"Back at ya," she grinned back.
"You ready to eat?"
"You bet! Lead me to it."
It was her jaw that dropped when he led her into the kitchen. There were lighted candles everywhere, a lot like Teal'c's room at the SGC, and in the middle of the dining table sat a small bunch of flowers. The table looked perfect, covered with a real cloth and proper place settings. Jack was thrilled by the look of delight on her face, sat her at the table and poured some wine.
"Mozzarella and tomato salad?" Her grin broadened. She loved that. Jack had even strewn it with fresh basil. "Jack it looks fantastic!"
"Yeah well, you have to taste it yet."
"I don't just mean the salad."
"I know it isn't exactly The Ritz but I think it looks kinda cool."
"It looks great. Thank you Jack. It's so sweet. It's wonderful." She grasped his hand and squeezed and then they started to eat.
The main course turned out to be lasagne, another of Sam's favourites, followed by tiramisu, which Jack shame-facedly confessed had not been made by him but was home made at a delicatessen across town. It all tasted delicious. He'd gone to a lot of trouble. Jack wasn't a man who liked to spend too much time in the kitchen.
"I didn't know you had hidden culinary skills." She said
"I like to pretend that all I can make is broiled steaks or my special omelette, but actually I do have other talents. Generally I don't use 'em. It takes all day and I use every pan and utensil in the kitchen."
"Not much evidence of that." She said, peering round the almost spotless kitchen.
"Just don't look in the dishwasher or open any of the cupboards." He grinned cheekily and she laughed.
"You hid the mess?"
"I'll clear it up tomorrow. Honest. Scouts honor."
She laughed even louder at the expression on his face. It was a pure Jack O'Neill look of innocence, as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
"Hey, it's meant to be romantic!" he protested.
"It is, Jack, it is." She managed with a snort of amusement, which made him laugh too.
When they'd recovered from their mirth, he took her hand, kissing her knuckles.
"Wanna finish off the evening with some dancing?" he asked with a lopsided grin.
"There's an offer I can't refuse."
Jack led her back into the living room, putting on some slow dance music and taking her in his arms. They swayed, rather than danced, around the room, saying little but holding each other close.
"It's good to have you back, Sam." He whispered.
"It's good to be back."
He seemed a little jittery and she couldn't understand why.
"Is something wrong?" She asked.
"No. Everything's fine."
"Yeah? I never know quite how you interpret the word fine, Jack."
"Fine means fine doesn't it?"
"Not always when you say it."
"You'll just have to take my word for it."
"Uh, huh? Okay, for now."
Jack wondered what had tipped her to his anxiety. Was he so transparent to her nowadays? And if he was, was it a good or a bad thing? 'Have courage,' he thought, 'get this show on the road and get it over with.'
"Sam, sit down for a minute will you?" he said, steering her to the couch.
The next thing she knew he was on one knee in front of her. 'Oh my God,' she thought, 'he's going to propose!'
Her heart hammered rapidly as she waited in anticipation. She had doubts, yes, but not about Jack. She loved him and wanted to be with him. She was committed and had been since they first made love at his cabin, and probably before that, if she wanted to admit it. So Sam pushed her doubts about Washington and the SGC to one side, believing they would sort all that out sometime, just not now. Jack took her hand again and kissed it.
"I guess it's obvious what I'm going to say, Sam," he started, taking a deep breath, "I love you very much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
He was worried it sounded too contrived and thought, 'face it, O'Neill, it is contrived.' All day he'd been debating with himself about how to pop the question; what words he should use, whether he should ask her over dinner or get down on one knee and look like a jerk or, maybe, whisper softly in her ear as they danced, or even make love to her and ask as they spooned together afterwards. Actually he'd been thinking about it for a few days.
When he proposed to Sara it hadn't been at all romantic, rather very pragmatic. He seized a moment with no planning or thought and it had simply slipped out almost unbidden. A simple 'marry me' might have sufficed on this occasion too, however, after blurting it out in Minnesota all those months ago, he was determined that it should be done properly this time. He just hoped Sam would not think he sounded and looked like the jerk he imagined.
This wasn't really very Jack O'Neill, the blurting thing was much more his usual style, but it didn't hurt to surprise her and catch her off guard. He had to do something to keep her on her toes and stop her getting bored with him. And maybe she'd even say yes. He sincerely hoped so, otherwise he was going to feel even more ill at ease and inept than he felt now, not to mention deeply hurt. If she said no.? It wasn't an option he wanted to examine too closely and he'd been trying to suppress that fear all day - actually, for days.
Blushing deeply with hands shaking from nerves, he withdrew a small black box from his pocket, opening it and showing her a beautiful engagement ring. She looked into his eyes, caressing his face, heart still aflutter.
"It's me who would be honored Jack. Yes, I'll marry you." She replied and his face lit up with a gigantic smile.
"You will?"
"Yes, I will."
Noticing a look of relief flitter across his face, she realised how unsure of her response he'd been. Didn't he realise how much she loved him? The relief rapidly turned to pure joy, and he looked so handsome it made her heart flutter. Hands still trembling, he placed the ring on her finger.
"It fits!" he declared excitedly and then kissed her. "I hope you like it."
"It's a beautiful ring Jack. Perfect."
The ring was a cluster of diamonds around a sapphire. It went so well with her dress that the two could have been bought together.
"I love you Jack," she declared, bending to kiss him and run her fingers through his hair. "Come sit beside me," she patted the space next to her on the couch.
"I guess I'd should get up off my knee before I ossify." He joked, raising a chuckle from Sam. It was so like Jack to deflect from a tense situation with humor.
He stood and stretched before sitting next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders while her head rested on his. Absent-mindedly he rubbed a thumb over the ring in her finger.
"God, Sam, you said yes."
"Yes I did. You're surprised? You shouldn't be. I told you I fantasised about becoming Mrs O'Neill."
"Mad woman."
"Probably. So that was what all the special stuff was about, huh? That is romantic Jack."
"I wanted to do more than just drop it into the conversation, like I did at the cabin. I wanted to make it special."
"You certainly did that. I'm so happy you asked me again."
"I'm happy you said yes."
"The ring goes with my dress."
"Yeah, that's kind of weird, don't you think?"
"Kismet, Jack."
"Ya think?"
"Yes I do."
"Should we celebrate with some champagne? I got a bottle."
"That would be great, although I might get a little tipsy."
"I love you tipsy. You're hilarious."
"Gee, thanks."
"You're welcome." He grinned, reluctantly parting from her to get the champagne and glasses.
"A toast. To us!" He said when he had opened and poured it.
"To us."
They chinked their glasses together and took a sip, snuggling up again. They loved snuggling; it was a favoured occupation.
"In the morning I guess we should call Daniel and Teal'c. They should be the first to know." Jack said, breaking a long contemplative and cosy silence. "Maybe we should invite them to come to Washington for a weekend."
"I'd like that."
"Yeah, it would be cool. We haven't had any decent social time together since the cabin." He fell silent again for a moment and then added dreamily, "Mrs O'Neill. You're gonna be Mrs O'Neill."
"Don't let it go to your head, flyboy."
"Hey!"
He removed the glass from her hand, tickling her until she begged for mercy through tears of laughter.
"That's for calling me flyboy." He smirked.
"I always consider it a compliment."
"So should I start calling you flyboy?"
"Sometimes you are incorrigible." She slapped him playfully. "Give me a kiss?"
Jack was happy to oblige, realising that she was a little tipsy and when tipsy she got seductive and sexy. Their playful kissing quickly turned to passion and when her nails dug into his neck and she started to remove his bow tie he knew what was coming. She chewed at his ear, her hands wandering under his shirt
"Is this the part where you get to rip off my tux?" he asked, teasingly.
"Ummm. may I?" she replied with a feral grin.
Life was sweet!
The End
Story Notes: Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Making Conversation
Status: Series
Author's Note: Thanks to those people who fed back on Conversation Interrupted and Making Conversation, inspiring some thoughts for this story. Also huge thanks to Bonnie, my wonderful beta reader, whose contributions are always so crucial to my fic writing. Plus thanks to Fulinn28 for making the book cover from a cap of Jack and Sam, which can be found on my site here: http://www.ficwithfins.com/AA3_1/archive/1/theart.html
Status: Series
Author's Note: Thanks to those people who fed back on Conversation Interrupted and Making Conversation, inspiring some thoughts for this story. Also huge thanks to Bonnie, my wonderful beta reader, whose contributions are always so crucial to my fic writing. Plus thanks to Fulinn28 for making the book cover from a cap of Jack and Sam, which can be found on my site here: http://www.ficwithfins.com/AA3_1/archive/1/theart.html
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]