samandjack.net

Story Notes: Never Alone: Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 22: The Morning After the Night Before

Status: Series

Author’s Note: Written in response to feedback asking when Jack is going to meet Sam's brother. Also this story meets the requirements of Fic Challenge 32 on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo group, issued on 25 March, to include the line "Jack you're insane!" and/or the word 'talisman'. This includes both and, as with my other challenge fics, has not been beta read – you have been warned!


Never Alone: The Longest Long Weekend


This was going to end up being the longest long weekend ever! Jack felt very uncomfortable and out of place, as if he wasn't wanted, and he figured that was probably because he wasn't. Although a casual observer might have thought Mark had been politely friendly, Jack knew better and could sense the resentment and bitterness emanating from Sam's brother. He hadn't exactly been welcoming.

Jack had kind of expected the visit to be tough but had hoped it would be okay for Sam's sake. Whether Mark liked it or not, he was going to spend the rest of his life with the man's sister, so he ought to get used to it. But Jack was military so Mark's wariness was almost a given.

This truly was not how Jack wanted to spend his spare time but Mark and his kids were all the blood family Sam had left, apart from her Uncle Irving, who she barely saw these days. So Jack sacrificed his precious time willingly, albeit against his better nature. He had been dreading this moment ever since Sam had first mooted it but they were going to get married, it was inevitable that he had to meet her family sometime. Now was as good a time as any.

Jack sincerely hoped that the few days they had planned to spend with Cassie and Chris after this ordeal was over would be a huge improvement. That seemed more than likely and he looked forward to it with relish, pleased they had organised their trip to California this way: Sam's family first, Cassie second. They might actually get a real vacation after all, if only for a few days.

Things had gone wrong from almost the moment of their arrival, starting with Mark's ridiculous notion of them sleeping in separate beds. Jack figured that if Sam had agreed, he might have meekly followed for her benefit, but she had gone ballistic and had a huge row with her brother.

"Holy Hannah, we're engaged Mark!" Sam shouted at one point, "and even if we weren't, who are you to tell me who I spend my nights with? I love Jack. Accept it."

"Yeah, but it's my house, Sam, so what I say goes," Mark replied acidly.

"Fine!" she turned to face Jack. "Let's go find a hotel. We aren't staying here unless we stay together." Jack was a little perplexed by the situation, pleased that she was sticking to her guns over him but upset that he was the cause of a family row.

"Mark," he said, "I know we only just met but don't be such an ass." Mark looked at him askance and retorted with anger.

"How dare you call me an ass in my own home!"

"Ack! Whatever," Jack replied waving his hand dismissively, although his overall demeanour was calm and polite. "It wouldn't matter what I called ya because you'd hate me anyway, although actually I'm not such a bad guy once you get to know me. And I'm the luckiest guy on this planet because your sister loves me and she's going to marry me, god help her. The least you could do for her sake is give me a chance. If you aren't willing to do that, and stop treating us like a couple of wayward children, then you are way worse than just an ass."

Mark blustered a bit after that but Jack and Sam ended up sharing a room, although the rest of that evening had been extremely awkward. Mark's wife, Jo, had done her best to steer through the ice, but it had been a very slippery road indeed.

It continued like that over the following day although Jack tried to forget about it and got stuck into playing with the kids. He was great with them as he was with all children, and they loved him despite that they sensed there was something wrong.

Sam's niece Judith, or Jude as she got called, was a bright and gregarious 13 year old who Jack believed was going to knock the boys dead when she was older; probably already did. She had long light brown hair and rather attractive freckles scattered across her nose, with huge blue eyes that were reminiscent of Sam's. Apart from that, she was very like her mother, Jo, and reminded him a little of Cassie when she had first come into their lives and out of her shell, smart as a whip and twice as sassy.

Her younger brother, Richard, known as Rick, was way more reserved, although Jack brought out the best in him, which impressed Mark, unbeknown to Jack. The boy was a sandy haired 10 year old who seemed a little slow-witted, particularly compared to his sister. It didn't take long for Jack to discover that Rick was also a lot brighter than he made out, he was simply a lot quieter about his intelligence. Already the kid was hiding behind a mask – sheesh!

Jude might have been 13 but was not yet at that stage where she eschewed childish games to pretend to be a grown up, as teenagers have a tendency to do. Jack was pleased that she was happy to join in, and even humor her "baby" brother, which was unusual he thought.

So they played games, both active and sedentary. In the park, they played a little baseball and in the yard there was a hoop attached to the wall so they had some fun shooting hoops. Later they got down to the more intellectual stuff, like Scrabble and Monopoly. And Jack joked and played his way into their hearts.

All the while, Mark remained distantly polite, although joined in and had some fun with his kids. Jack was relieved that the children where there so he didn't have to communicate with the adults much. He left that to Sam. But Jack could see that Mark's aloofness towards him upset her. He wasn't going to suffer that in silence and this is how he came to seek out Sam's brother that night for quiet chat: alone.

Mark was sitting in his study going over some papers and Jack knocked politely but didn't wait to be invited in. The study was a plush affair, lined with books and papers, with a PC on an attractive but large antique desk and a big leather chair for its user.

"Mind if I sit down?" Jack asked although it was a rhetorical question, as he didn’t wait for Mark to respond before pulling over a stool he spotted over at one side of the room. Mark eyed him with suspicion and Jack tried to ignore that and soldier on with what he felt needed saying.

"I'd like to try and negotiate a truce," he said. "I've got a white flag right here." He waved a handkerchief hoping that Mark might be amused and it would break the ice, but it seemed he lacked his sister's sense of humor. Jack wondered whether that was because of him or whether this was what Mark was really like - god forbid!

"A truce?"

"Yeah. Look Mark, I'd appreciate it if you'd show your sister some respect because she deserves better than for you to show her none. Think what you like about me. I'd rather we got along because you're Sam's family and you're important to her, but in the final analysis, if you don't like me much it won't break my heart. On the other hand, if you break hers it's going to really piss me off."

"You're protective of her, I guess that's good." Mark found himself impressed by Jack's forthrightness. He wasn't trying to suck up to Sam's brother the way some men might.

"Sam told me why she thinks you don't like the military much, so how about your side of the story?"

Mark arched his eyebrows in slight surprise at the question. "What did she tell you?"

"That you resented Jacob because he neglected you for his work, and you argued the whole time when he was there because he tried to turn you into a person you weren't. He wanted you to join the military and follow in his footsteps and you didn't want that. You blamed him for your mother's death. And you were at almost exactly the wrong age for all of that shit to happen to you."

"That sounds about it in a nutshell."

"And everyone gets tarred with the same brush because of it? That's seems a little unfair. You made your peace with your father, so why can't you try the same with me?"

"I don't want Sam to go through what mom went through, or your kids if you have any."

"For crying out loud, Sam's military! It's a totally different situation to your mom and dad."

"She shouldn't have to put herself second."

"I wouldn't expect her to, or want that for her."

"Easy to say." Mark did not look at all convinced.

"Maybe but, above everything else, I respect Sam. Her career is important to her, as is being her own person, and that means it's important to me too. I don't want her to become an appendage to General Jack O'Neill and I'll do a lot to make sure that never happens."

Mark considered his words seriously. After having spent a day watching him with the children he had to admit he was having second thoughts about the man, but his wariness of the military was too ingrained for him to overcome that easily. There were also other factors involved in his resentment of Jack, as would become only too apparent.

"You knew dad, didn't you?" he asked, "What did you think of him? How'd you two get along?"

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm damned whatever I say?" Mark had the good grace to laugh at that comment and Jack thought maybe he had a sense of humor lurking in there after all. Given time, perhaps he could get through to him.

"What did I think of Jacob? I miss him, a lot. He was tough and gruff but he was a good man. We argued like cat and dog sometimes, probably because both of us wanted to be the cat or dog at the same time, and he could be baffling occasionally, but I respected him. And Sam… she cared about him and loved him, despite his faults. I think a little bit of that rubbed off on me. I was fond of him, I guess."

Mark nodded silently, contemplating those words. "What did he think of you?"

"How the hell should I know? Ask Sam."

"I did."

"Ah! And she said…?"

"Best I can figure it, that the feeling was mutual. That he would have approved of your marriage, and blessed it."

Jack grinned at that. "I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing in your eyes but, if that's what he thought, then it means a lot to me and makes me proud. He was one heck of a guy."

"Sam used those same words about you."

"She did? Gee…" Jack said with a shy smile and Mark was amused by Jack's embarrassment. "I suppose she wouldn't be marrying me unless she thought so. I appreciate how lucky I am to have her, Mark. She's a great woman, a genius and beautiful with it, and I'm just plain old Jack O'Neill. If you're wondering what she sees in me then join the back of the queue that's waiting to find an answer to that question because I'm first in line."

Mark warmed to Jack's modesty, believing it genuine. He might resent the military for what he believed it had done to his family but he knew that not just any old person got to be a General in the US Air Force. You had to have your wits about you. His sister's fiancé must be an intelligent man. Sam would never marry someone stupid and the Air Force wouldn't have rewarded him with that rank if he were.

"Look Jack, I'm not an unreasonable man," Mark said, "although I guess I probably seem that way to you. Maybe you're right that I've been acting like an ass and haven't given you a chance but I have more reasons than the fact that you're a general in the USAF."

Suddenly the light dawned on Jack; something he hadn't considered and had almost forgotten about.

"Pete Shannahan. Is that what all of this is about?" Jack asked.

"Pete's a good friend of mine. Sam was going to marry him before you came along."

"Wait a minute, I've always been there. If you don't mind me saying, it was him who came along," responded Jack, and Mark's eyes widened.

"Were you and Sam… while you worked together…?" Mark said in shock.

"No! For crying out loud, that's not what I meant. But there always was something special between us. We never acted on it, we locked it away, but it was always there; a lot of years. I never liked Pete that much, although I was biased I guess, but I never deliberately tried to steal Sam away from him. I want you to know that. If I got between them then it was because I was already there."

"If she was so special to you then how come you were prepared to let her marry Pete?" Mark asked curiously, needing more from his sister's fiancée.

He'd been thrilled when he'd heard about Sam's marriage plans with his old friend and very pissed when they'd split, particularly after he found out about her relationship with Jack O'Neill. Naturally he assumed that O'Neill was responsible for breaking his friend's heart, but maybe it wasn't in the way he had imagined.

Mark was willing to concede that might be the truth of it. Frankly, he had avoided the subject with Sam after they'd had a huge row about it not long after she'd dumped Pete. Obviously, he'd been on Pete's side, which had caused trouble with Sam that he'd thought was best left alone, so he didn't really know her side of the story. Maybe he should ask.

"She made a choice, Mark, and I respected it, however crap it made me feel. I told you, she's her own woman and I value that very much."

Mark nodded, pleased with that reply and beginning to think he'd badly misjudged O'Neill. He'd let his prejudice get in the way and that was unfortunate.

"What happened?" Mark asked.

"I don't really know. You should ask Sam. One minute she was engaged and making wedding plans, the next minute she'd called it off. It took a while for us to get around to doing anything about the way we felt. I thought… I thought I'd lost her, but I hadn't. That makes me a very happy man."

Mark noted the tinge of sadness in his eyes at the memory of his imagined loss. It was so clear that Jack loved Sam very much. Jack's body language spoke loudly of it, both now when she was absent and earlier when he'd watched them together. Sam was obviously nuts about him too.

"I'm not the kind of man who can't admit when he's wrong, Jack. I'm not sure yet whether I'm wrong or not, but I figure that I can make an effort, especially after what you've said. I just want to know that you'll look after my sister and make her happy."

"I'll try my damnedest. There are never any guarantees in life, Mark, but I would never do anything to hurt Sam."

"Can't say fairer than that."

Jack stood and offered his hand to Mark, who took it and shook. "Okay. Thanks."

"Maybe it should be me thanking you for stopping me from being a total jerk," Mark replied. Jack smiled and nodded, turning to the door.

"I'll leave you in peace now."

After he'd left, Mark spent a while mulling over what Jack had said. The combination of Jack's occupation and Pete Shannahan had made him dislike the man before they even met. Now Jack had spoken up and he understood a little more about the man he had to admit that that he kind of liked him. After that, the atmosphere in the household rose to considerably above freezing.

*****************************

Although Jack told her nothing about his conversation with Mark, Sam certainly couldn't miss the thawing between the two men, which was apparent immediately Mark left the study and rejoined his family.

Sam couldn't wait for the chance to ask her brother about his sudden change of attitude and took the first opportunity early next morning. Mark was beginning to think he would never get any time alone in his study! Sam sat on the same stool that Jack had the previous day, a mug of coffee in her hand.

"Jack didn't tell you about our little talk?" he responded to her question.

Sam stared at him with surprise. "Um, no he didn't. When did that happen?"

"Sometime yesterday."

"Oh!"

"I think he was trying to tell me not to act like a jerk. He didn't want to see you get hurt Sam, and I appreciate that. You're my sister and I want you to be happy. I guess I hoped you were going to be happy with Pete and I was pissed when you dumped him, but if it's Jack who makes you happy then I figure I should make an effort to get to know the guy and not judge him until I do."

"You resented Jack because of Pete?" she asked as, like Jack, the thought hadn't really occurred to her.

"Pete's my friend."

"How is he?" she asked, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Fine, Sam. Took him a while but he's okay."

"I hope he is. I never meant to hurt him. I really thought we could be happy and I was wrong. But if you think it was Jack's fault that we split up then that's not true. He never tried to break us up, although he could have. I don't think he truly understood that he could have though. He was willing to let me go as long as I was happy, regardless of his own feelings. I think that's pretty damned great, don't you? "

Mark regarded her silently for a while, pondering what to say, and Sam took advantage of the short pause in their conversation to sip her coffee.

"Jack makes you happy, doesn't he?" Mark asked, partly a rhetorical question.

"Yes, he does. I've loved him for a long time, Mark. We couldn't do anything about it and I believed we never would. I thought I'd moved on with Pete but I hadn't. It took me a long time to accept that I hadn't and, once I knew it… well I couldn't marry one man while I was in love with another could I? I loved Pete, but not like I love Jack. We've built up a strong bond over the years and that can never be broken."

Mark smiled. "Then I should be happy for you, I guess."

"Jack's a good man. One of the best. One day you'll know that. Don't get me wrong, he isn't perfect, far from it, but no one is, are they?"

"Except for Jo," Mark said with a smile.

"There's an exception to every rule," Sam chuckled and they sat in amiable silence for a short time, until she spoke again.

"You know when dad died, Jack was there for me and that's when I started to open my eyes to the truth that had always been there, just like he was and forever will be. He didn't say much, he doesn't always need to, but knowing that he was there… it was just… I don't know, soothing I guess. There was a lot going on at the time, it was a pretty difficult period in my life, but I knew that even if Jack and I never got together in the future, I couldn't marry Pete. It would have been a bad marriage. I would have tried, and probably failed. It was the wrong thing to do."

"And marrying Jack is the right thing to do?"

Sam met his eyes, her blue orbs burning with truthful intensity. "Absolutely the right thing to do. Will you give me away, Mark?"

Now seemed a good time to ask, while her brother seemed more open minded towards Jack. She could see the question both surprised and disarmed him.

"Um, what?" he said. "Give you away? Wow, Sam, you really want that after I've been such an idiot?"

"I'd really like you to. Who else now dad's gone? You're my brother."

"There's always Uncle Irving," he joked and Sam laughed. Uncle Irving was a big adorable bear of a man and the family clown. She loved him dearly but he so wasn't the right man for the job. Mark was.

"So?" she pressed.

"I'd be honoured to give you away, Sam."

"I, um, even though I'm marrying Jack?"

"He's growing on me," Mark replied with a small smile.

"I'm so glad. I'll marry him with or without you, Mark, but I'd so much prefer it was with you."

"Okay. I'd love to Sam. I won't let you down, I promise."

"Thanks. That makes me very happy."

She placed her coffee on a bookshelf and got up, moving towards her brother, and he rose from his plush leather chair to pull her into his arms for a hug, his face plastered with a big grin.

"So, what did you two talk about?" she asked curiously.

"This and that. He told me he respected you and your career and I believed him. That kind of started to win me over. And he's been so great with the kids. You gotta find something likeable in that." His tone was jocular.

"He used to have a son, Charlie. He died a long time ago. I'm thinking he would have been about 20 years old now. I guess Jack must think that quite a lot. I know he thinks about him although he doesn’t mention him much. He loves kids, and they always seem to love him too."

"He lost his son? That's awful. No parent should have to go through that."

"Please don't mention I said anything, Mark. Jack's an intensely private man."

"Sure I won't. Are you planning to have kids?" Mark asked and Sam pulled away from him, sitting on the stool apparently ill at ease, looking down at the floor.

"We haven't really talked about it. Maybe I'm getting too old."

"Crap! There are lots of mothers your age."

"I don't know Mark. I want a child but… I don't know." She looked up at him and was chewing on her bottom lip.

"I know I don't see it from a mom's perspective but you can't believe what it’s like to be a parent until you are one, Sam. Maybe you should talk to Jo about it. And you definitely need to talk to Jack before you marry him. If you don't want to and he does it could cause all kinds of problems."

Sam regarded him seriously, obviously deep in thought. Eventually she responded. "It's not that I don't want to…" Nodding as her thoughts wandered, she added, "Okay, I'll think about it."

***************

Jack cursed when his cell phone rang after they went to bed that night. Sam was none too happy either as she had been about to ask Jack about his conversation with her brother. As soon as he started speaking Sam rolled her eyes, knowing who it was: Daniel Jackson. The man always did have crappy timing. She had a bit of fun trying to imagine what Daniel was saying at the other end as Jack spoke at hers.

"For crying out loud, it's late! Can't this wait until the morning?"

"Who am I? Your favourite agony aunt?"

"If you'd rather study rocks than spend some time with Francine Butler is that my problem?

"Well buy her some flowers, for Christ's sake."

"I don't think you need to go that far, Daniel. Don't over play it."

"Well, as it happens I have a very hot fiancée to take care of. Know what I mean?" he said, winking at Sam who was giggling by the time Jack finished the call. Jack flopped onto the bed beside her.

"Oy! He calls me, of all people, for advice about his love life? Is the guy nuts?" Sam was still giggling as he spoke.

"Maybe he thinks yours is so great that you can give him a few tips," she commented with a wry smile that made Jack grin broadly.

"You might have something there," he kissed the tip of her nose, "although I figure he'd be better off asking you how to deal with an irate woman."

"So what's he done?"

"Got carried away studying some artefact or the other, you know how Daniel is. Anyway, he missed his flight to DC. Actually he missed a few flights."

"How late was he turning up at Francine's?"

"24 hours."

"Oops."

"You could say that." Jack looked at her with suppressed mirth and when she started giggling again he couldn't help but laugh along with her and they ended up near bursting with hilarity. It was made worse when they tried to shush each other so as not to disturb her family, who were all safely tucked up in their beds, and they were unable to stop themselves from cackling for a good few minutes.

"So Francine was pissed, I take it?" Sam asked when they'd eventually calmed down.

"Oh yeah!" Jack grinned, "Daniel's in the dog house alright. You know, I can't get used to the idea of those two as a couple."

"You think it's serious?"

"I don't know, Sam, it hasn't been going on for that long has it? But if it continues for long enough we might be forced to go out on a double date." He pulled a face, which started Sam off giggling again.

"Shhh…" he said with a chuckle and, to stop them both laughing, Jack kissed her, which was a bit of a disaster given that they were both shaking with laughter so their teeth knocked together. In the end Jack held his hand over Sam's mouth until she calmed down again.

"We are nasty, cruel people," she said, "after all it's our fault they got together in the first place. More precisely, your fault.

"Who would have imagined he'd actually start seeing her? I thought I was doing him a favor."

"You probably were. If you stopped trying to avoid her you might find out that she's a very nice woman."

Jack pondered that remembering that he had been enjoying her company before Daniel turned up at his place, even if he'd needed to fight her off. He decided silence was the best policy on that one given Sam's jealous reaction to Francine, which had surprised him. He shrugged so Sam continued.

"You suggested he give her some flowers? Sheesh, you men always think you can buy your way into our hearts with a few pretty roses, or something."

"Well we can, can't we?" he said with a wink. "He was talking about getting her jewellery. That's a little over the top don't you think?"

"Jack! Gee, you men know nothing. Hand me the phone."

"What?"

"The phone, Jack."

Startled, he gave her his phone and Sam called Daniel.

"Daniel, it's Sam," she said, "give her the jewellery and the flowers." Then she hung up leaving one surprised Daniel Jackson and a highly amused Jack O'Neill in her wake. "Okay, let's try to forget Daniel Jackson. What were you saying about a hot fiancée?"

She puckered her lips suggestively and the couple made love as quietly as possible, once again wary of her family close by. Their earlier hysteria still bubbled way too close to the surface and they were unable to stop their lovemaking also turning into laughter fest, although they ensured the laughter was quite. It made for an interesting sex session, which was playful and deeply fulfilling. Afterwards, she lay propped up on an elbow facing Jack and asked about his conversation with Mark.

"Guy's talk," he said and tried to change the subject. When she pressed him he added, "just be satisfied that we've called a truce."

"Seems to me that it's way more than a truce. I asked him if he'd give me away at the wedding and he agreed."

"He did? That's great!" he said, grinning and kissing her hair. His hand reached to stroke her exposed arm with a feather light touch, "You figure that's a good sign?"

"Sure, Jack. Apparently, you're growing on him."

"He said that?" Jack queried, looking surprised and pausing his caress.

"What did you say to turn him around?" Sam asked, moving to lay her head on his chest and draping an arm over his belly. Jack took her hand in his, running his other fingers over her cheek and through her hair.

"He didn't tell you?"

"Kind of, but I think there was more to it."

"If he didn't tell you, how can I? I have no idea what he's thinking do I?"

"That's why I asked about your conversation."

Jack shrugged but said nothing and Sam sighed and rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Sometimes you are so infuriating, Jack O'Neill!" she said, shifting again, this time to sit up and look up at his face.

"Like I said, it was a guy thing. You wouldn't wanna tell me all about your girl's stuff, would ya?" He pulled a teasing face.

"Only because it would bore you silly," she chuckled.

"That's not the point."

"Okay, Jack. Have it your way," she pouted truculently.

"Don't go all huffy on me. Give me a hug? Pretty please?" Jack pulled his soulful eyes look on her and she couldn't resist. With their heads close together they wrapped their arms around each other. Having canoodled for a while, Sam thought that maybe the time was right to talk to Jack about kids. Mark was right that they should tackle it up front.

"Do you want children, Jack?" she asked bluntly.

"I, um… do you?"

"I asked first."

"Of course, if you do."

"Forget what I want, Jack. What do you want?"

"I love kids, you know that, and I'd love you to be the mother of mine, but first and foremost I want you. If you don't want any children I can live with that."

If Jack was honest, he wasn't sure how to take this conversation and, although he would have loved another child, it wasn't necessarily one of his expectations. He could handle them being childless but it hurt a little to think that Sam might not want to bear his children. Jack tried to hide that thought, wondering exactly what she was thinking. The conversation might not mean what he imagined. There was no way he would pressurise her into having kids if she didn't want any so it was probably a moot point anyway. However, he was a little confused.

"You mean that?" Sam was searching his face, trying to find the truth of it.

"Sam, to lie about something like that would only cause trouble later. Sure I'd love us to have kids, although I guess I wouldn't mind you to myself for a while first." He kissed her cheek tenderly.

"Maybe I'm too old, or maybe I can't conceive, what with all the crap that's happened over the years. If you want kids and I can't have any… that wouldn't be fair to you."

Was that what worried her? In a strange way, Jack felt a sense of relief.

"You think I want to go find another woman to fall in love with so I can procreate?" he asked with an amused and quizzical expression.

"Well, put like that… I guess it sounds pretty stupid."

"No, not stupid. But if that's what I wanted I could have gone and done it years ago, couldn't I?"

"I guess so."

"Sam, how do you feel about having a child? Tell me."

"I don't know. Yes, I do. Of course I want to have our baby, Jack, but…" she fell silent and Jack tried to find answers in her eyes.

"I promise I'll still marry you even if you don't want my baby, Sam," he said with a small smile, thinking that he was getting too old to be a dad so why fret about it? Jack wanted to jolly Sam out of whatever dark place she seemed to have gone to. "And if you do, well that's good too. I just want to marry you and live with you for the rest of my life. That will do for me, Dorothy. Mr Scarecrow is a man of simple tastes."

"It's not a matter of not wanting your baby. I've just… never been that good with babies."

"So you don't want a baby?"

"Of course I do!"

"Seems to me that you're in two minds about it. What made you bring this up now?"

"Mark. He asked me about us having kids and it occurred to me that we never really discussed it. Shouldn't that be something you talk about before you get married?"

"I guess so. What are you afraid of, that you don't want one or you can't have one?"

Uncertainly, she paused to give his question some thought and Jack desperately wanted to know what she was thinking but failed to read her. After a while she sighed.

"Both, I think," she looked into his eyes and was met by typical Jack O'Neill detachment. The man could be so exasperating! "I really need to know how important it is to you Jack."

"I told you… you don't believe me, do you?"

"Not really. You would make such a great dad. Kids love you and you are so wonderful with them. Watching you with Jude and Rick reminded me how much you love them."

"I'm getting too old to be a great dad."

"That's total crap! And it doesn't answer my question."

"I'm not sure I can answer it any differently. I'd love kids, but I love you. That's an answer."

"Is it?"

"We can be happy without kids, maybe happier."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"You shouldn't be. I have good reason to have doubts about becoming a father again."

Charlie! Jack didn't need to speak his dead son's name, or to say anything more, for Sam to know what he was thinking. She gave him a gentle squeeze, smoothing his neck with her fingers.

"You can't let the past stop you having what you want," she replied in a low voice, and he was slightly mollified by her words.

"No. You're right."

He allowed her to caress his chest for a while, thinking during the brief silence. Jack realised that kids weren't everything. Sam and her feelings were way more important than his need to sow the O'Neill seed. His relationship with Sam was already a bonus that he had never expected and Jack believed he could content himself with that.

"I wonder if I've got a romantic notion in my head about having babies, Jack. I love the idea of a baby O'Neill. If I ever wanted kids you're the man whose kids I want. But the idea seems so fantastical after all these years. What if I can't deal with the reality?"

"You think anyone knows the reality of parenthood before they have kids? Of course they don't."

"You know."

"But only from my own perspective. I spent a lot of time away from home, Sam. I have no real idea of what it was like for Sara. How could I?"

"So it would be like something new to both of us."

"Kinda. Look, we don’t have to make any decisions here and now."

"I don't want us to get married and then find that this will haunt us." Jack saw a look of concern on her face,

"So that's what all this is really about?" he asked.

"I think so. I just want us both to be sure that we're doing the right thing."

"Getting married?" Jack felt a small twinge in the pit of his stomach, a momentary uncertainty about Sam wanting to go through with the wedding. "I don't have any doubts about that, Sam. Do you?"

"Not a chance." Her response was instantaneous; no thinking first, which was a huge reassurance for Jack. He smiled, his hand brushing through her hair tenderly.

"Then what else matters? Whatever happens, I'm never going to regret marrying you."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. You trust me don't you?"

"Absolutely."

"Then believe me when I tell you that we'll be fine. I'll live with it Sam. Kids, no kids; whatever. I know how important your career is to you."

She smoothed his cheek with her fingertips. "I won't let my career stand in the way of us having kids, Jack."

"Then what is it?"

"Just the idea of having kids, I guess. It's a little scary. And I don't want to get myself too caught up in the notion of having them because if I can't then I'll just be so disappointed, and so will you."

"Disappointed in you? Never."

"That's sweet Jack, but I don't want you to end up regretting anything about marrying me. And don't say you never will because no one can truly make that promise."

"Leave the cynicism to me for crying out loud. That's my area of expertise," he commented with a wry smile.

"Is that how it sounded? I didn't mean it to. I'm just… thinking."

Jack sat bolt upright, surprising Sam, and he pulled his legs around and sat facing her.

"If it bothers you then we could get tested."

"Tested?"

"You know… fertility tests, check to see if we can. Then you'll know for sure and can decide based on facts and not speculation."

"Both of us get tested? Jack you're insane!" she reacted, with a slightly nervous laugh.

"Only insanely in love with you," he said, chuckling when she pulled a face and then continuing more seriously, "Look, if there's a problem we won't know if it's you or me, will we? So it makes sense for both of us to get tested."

"What if it is me?" Sam looked a little bit worried about that idea. Finding out for certain seemed so final. "I'm beginning to wish I'd never said anything."

Jack looked at her for a moment and then propped his lanky frame against the bed head. "C'mere," he said, holding out an arm to urge her close and she willingly let him envelope her in his comforting embrace. It felt good. Jack could make almost anything seem better simply with those words and his arms around her.

"If you don't want to know we can just play it by ear. No tests," he suggested.

"I'll think about it." She kissed his chest lovingly, "thank you Jack."

"You okay baby?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied and Jack wasn't sure whether to believe her but let the subject drop because he knew that, for now, she needed to think and not talk about it any more. Jack understood that very well because he could be the same.

"Wanna sleep?" he asked after a long pause.

"Yeah, let's get cosy."

"I'm already cosy," he replied with a broad smile.

"Cosier, then."

"I'm always cosy with you in bed next to me, Sam."

"Gee, you're being corny tonight."

"Soppy and sentimental?"

"Yeah. I kind of like it though."

"On the odd occasion?"

"Mmmm… Not something I really ever expected from Jack O'Neill."

"No, I guess you wouldn't. I can't be a hard ass all the time."

"You just pretend to be a hard ass," she teased and Jack grunted. After that, they didn't speak again but snuggled down under the covers.

*****************************

The next day would be their last with Sam's family and they would move on to see Cassie and Chris. Sam was looking forward to that, especially meeting Chris at last, although now things had turned around with Mark and Jack, and the atmosphere in the house had improved, she would miss her family.

Jo decided that a huge breakfast was the appropriate way to send her guests on their way. It was a glorious day and they ate al fresco while the kids played in the yard. As they ate, the adults chatted amiably amongst themselves and Sam was thinking this was a great way to spend a morning.

"I've been meaning to ask you about that heart you've got around your neck, Sam. It's lovely," Jo said, reaching out and taking it in her hand, "where'd you get this? What sort of language is that? It looks a bit like Latin."

"Jack gave it to me for my birthday," Sam started to explain but before she said anything else, Jack jumped in.

"It's some obscure ancient language or the other that our archaeologist friend Daniel knows. He translated it for me. So only Daniel, Sam and I know what it says."

"A secret message?" Jo queried.

"Kinda like that," Jack affirmed and his eyes reached for Sam's. A small smile was exchanged and he took her hand, holding it to his lips for a kiss, while maintaining eye contact. Then he looked away, smiling shyly and keeping her hand clasped in his.

"It's our talisman," Sam added with a wistful grin, briefly thinking that it probably meant more to her than her engagement ring. She remembered every detail of the night Jack had given it to her. Since then, their lives had changed fundamentally, all because of that small gift which meant so much to both of them.

"Sure been lucky for me!" Jack grinned.

"Oh, that's so romantic, isn't it Mark?" Jo reacted excitedly, particularly after seeing Jack and Sam's response to each other.

"If you say so, sweetheart," Mark replied good-humoredly, catching Jack's eye and rolling his own around his eye sockets. Jack chuckled.

"Women!" he exclaimed.

"But you love us anyway, don't you?" Sam inserted.

"Some more than others," Jack replied and looked at her again, his eyes glinting with mirth. She squeezed his hand as a thrill ran through her from the love she saw in his face.

She felt her brother's eyes on her and, when she turned to look, he smiled affectionately and nodded, as if he approved. Things had started badly but now this was turning into a great vacation. Looking back at Jack, who had noticed the exchange of glances between the siblings, she could see that he agreed, and she so wished they could stay for a couple more days. At least she knew that, from now on, both of them would be welcome back to the Carter house, and that was very special indeed.


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TE




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