The Real Thing
Their kiss made Jack breathless with desire but his natural caution made him pull away and grasp Sam's shoulders. He captured her eyes with his gaze, trying to fathom her thoughts, and calm his rapidly racing and confused ones.
"Sam, you're engaged to be married. We shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't. Damn it, why did you want to see me tonight?"
Although initially he had thought this might be his chance, filled with doubt he was now beginning to question why he'd agreed to it. He hadn't expected anything to happen between them, despite his hopes and dreams, but seized the moment and wasn't sure if he should regret it. She was engaged, in love with another man, wasn't she?
"I want a perfect birthday," she replied, and Jack laughed bitterly.
"I'm gonna make it perfect? You have no taste." He caught her smile at the joke. "What about Pete?"
"You don't want to be with me?" She still held back from admitting Pete was gone, wanting to see how Jack would react to her without that knowledge. "Your kiss tells me otherwise."
"I didn't say I didn't want to be with you Sam, you must know I do, but you aren't free to be with me."
"You and your damned honor!"
"You'd prefer me to be different? That's what I am."
"I know, and it's one of the things I love about you."
"One of the things you love about me?" He repeated her words slowly, in a state of shock, and dared to probe further, but not without some trepidation. It was one hell of a risk. "What are you saying, Sam, that you love me?"
Jack's voice was almost a whisper. "One of the things I love about you." It was just an expression wasn't it? What if it wasn't? It seemed the world around him moved in slow motion. He stopped breathing and stood perfectly still, waiting. Sam paused and looked him in the eye, deliberate and determined. This was their chance and she wanted to grasp it with both hands.
"Yes, Jack, I've been in love with you for a long, long time," she confessed.
Jack breathed again, stunned and speechless. She was in love him? Was this real?
"Oh!" He exclaimed, trying to figure out a better response but his tongue was tied.
"I always thought you knew, that it was obvious. I gave up hope."
Gave up hope? He wished he'd known, been sure, and done something about them earlier. She'd turned to someone else because she couldn't have him. This couldn't be real. Jack wanted to pinch himself to check if he was awake.
"Oh!" He exclaimed again.
"For Christ's sake say something other than oh!"
He briefly wondered whether he was actually capable of stringing a sentence together, and somehow managed it, dark thoughts prompting his words.
"Sam, if this is pre-wedding nerves, the final fling." He was thinking 'Please don't let that be true,' praying to a God in whom he no longer believed.
"It's not! This is the real thing. I would never use you like that."
'Breathe, Jack, breathe!' he thought, 'stop thinking Jack; form words; talk.'
"Bit of a shocker for Pete isn't it?" he croaked eventually. 'Doh! Mention Pete why don't you Jack? Good one!' he thought.
Pete was about the last person he wanted to think about right now, but Sam was engaged to the man so what option did he have? He needed to know where he stood. Her declaration of love was plenty, and pretty wonderful, but not enough. So much had happened and his heart was still in pieces.
"Do you care?" She asked.
"Don't you?"
"How could I marry him when I love you? Don't you understand?"
"I think I'm getting the picture."
"And what do you make of it so far?"
"It's gonna be a great movie." 'And maybe even a great life,' he reflected.
Smiling, she tentatively held her hand out to him and his grasped it, pulling her into his arms.
"Pete and I already broke up. There's no wedding anymore, Jack."
Shocked, he pushed her back so he could look into her eyes.
"W-what? W-when?"
"Just after dad died."
"And you're only telling me now?" He was annoyed that she hadn't told him before.
"Don't be angry. I thought someone else would tell you and didn't have the courage to come right out with it. 'Good morning, Sir, and by the way I dumped Pete.' It just doesn't sound right." Jack half-smiled a response, his anger virtually forgotten. "So you're not angry?"
"Only a little. I wish I'd known, I might. Jeez, this happened before we all went to Minnesota?" She nodded. "Crap! I might have."
"No you wouldn't."
"You're right, I wouldn't." He grinned. "I'm getting the feeling that you know me a little too well, Sam."
"If I'd known you that well this might have happened a while ago. Or maybe it was me that I didn't know." She enclosed him in her arms and pulled him close, craving his embrace.
"Well, this is kind of sudden," he said.
"Hardly that. What? 7, 8 years?"
"You know what I mean. I thought you were happy with Pete." She had broken his heart and he had to know more before he finally let her fix it. Sam understood.
"So did I, for a while. I was kidding myself because deep down I wasn't happy. How could I be when I never gave us a chance? It hurt you, didn't it? I hurt you?"
Jack took a deep breath, wondering how much he should expose.
"Yes, but it's your life."
"Our life."
"Maybe. We don't know that."
"Yes we do. I do."
They kissed, Jack's hand clasping her back, Sam's fingers brushing through his short hair.
"I'm so sorry Jack," she said.
"Hey, you should never have to apologise for anything on your birthday." He smiled, not wishing to accept an apology for the pain she'd caused because it wasn't required. Everything had changed now. "If we don't go soon we'll be late for dinner." He looked at his watch. "Come on birthday girl, your carriage awaits."
"Where we going?"
"Surprise!"
It was reputed to be the best restaurant in Colorado Springs, and was certainly swanky and the most expensive. Sam gasped when she realised where he'd brought her. Jack had pulled a few strings to get them a table that night.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting this!"
"Said you'd be perfect didn't I? You look better than any of 'em." He thought Sam fit right in with the local worthies. She was elegant, and truly beautiful: more than enough riches for any guy.
They talked amiably throughout dinner, finding out more about each other than they already knew. Little details from childhood, their lives before the SGC, likes, dislikes and similar. Nothing fundamental, just things it's good to know. There were silences, but they were at ease with each other, something that surprised them both. Their situation, shared and unshared histories, and their dissimilarities did not necessarily make that a given and they'd both expected to have to work harder than they did.
Most of their conversation was chitchat but some was more revealing of their feelings.
"Do you trust me?" Sam asked to Jack's surprise.
"Trust you? What kind of question is that? Of course I trust you."
"I mean do you trust my heart? Can't say I blame you if you don't, not after Pete."
"Sam, I trust you. We never promised each other anything."
"Unspoken promises."
"You can't be alone all your life, or wait forever. It could just as easily have been me."
"I don't think so, despite Kerry Johnson."
This surprised Jack, but she was right. He hadn't truly wanted anyone but her for years and couldn't even contemplate getting engaged to another woman. Sam permeated his heart and soul, his depth of feeling seemingly boundless. He had liked Kerry, a lot, but she was no Sam Carter!
"I was so unsure about everything, about us, your feelings, until tonight. Jack." she continued.
"Shhh. Sam, I trust you. You don't have to feel guilty about anything. We can't build a relationship on that."
"You want to try building that relationship?"
"Of course I do. You do too don't you?"
"I've never been so sure about anything." She reached for his hand, caressing his knuckles. "Best birthday present ever Jack, you."
"Sorry I don't come with ribbon tied around me." he joked.
"Ribbon and nothing else?" She giggled and he laughed, making him appear 10 years younger.
"That's some imagination you've got there Sam."
"Maybe next year."
She thought there'd be a next year for them. Yes, please! He imagined opening the door to her dressed in nothing but a giant bow made of ribbon, and suppressed another laugh.
His hand lightly touched her elbow as he steered her to his truck. 'Home, quick kiss goodnight, that's it Jack,' he thought, knowing that anything more should wait but, nevertheless, yearning for it. There were still too many constraints and obstacles to overcome.
"I'll take you home."
"Home? I don't want to go home yet Jack. I want. more." He was pleased that she wanted that. "I want to spend more time with you on my birthday. Don't spoil it."
"Drink at my place?" He asked, unable to resist her plea, and she smiled, her eyes lighting up.
"Yes."
It was a dangerous step but he didn't want to part from her either.
Double scotches, ice, couch, sitting apart yet holding hands. It felt good. Sam moved closer, laying her head on his shoulder. Even better. Jack closed the gap, placing an arm around her, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. Much better.
He remembered the gift he'd bought earlier that day; something he never thought he'd give her, but now he would.
"Sam, I got you a real birthday present."
He got up and took the parcel out of a drawer, sitting next to her again and turning his body to face her. She thought he suddenly looked a little nervous, and shy.
"The Champagne, the rose, they aren't the real thing, this is," he continued. Sam stared at what lay in his hand, heart beating faster. It was going to be the perfect thing, as always, she just knew it. Jack had a knack. She couldn't figure how he did it. "I wasn't sure I should give it to you. I know you'll love it, but before tonight I probably couldn't have given it to you. Now I know why I got it. It's so right after all."
'Shut up, Jack, just give it to her,' he thought, and handed her the gift. It had spoken 'Sam' to him as soon as he saw it. His gifts for her always did.
"Happy birthday Sam."
He kissed her on the cheek and her face lit up with a smile, eyes sparkling with delight. She opened the parcel and gasped with pleasure. It contained a silver locket made of delicate filigree type silverwork. It was a heart; three dimensional, like a heart shaped sphere.
Through the beautiful silverwork pattern she could see something inside. Upon opening, a small piece of silver fell into her hand; a tiny silver scroll with a message engraved upon it in the smallest of letters. She held it up to the light to see what it said. It read:
'Sam, I'll love you always, Jack'
Her heart raced and she looked up at Jack to find him blushing.
"I got it engraved. I dunno, it seemed right, I just didn't know it was, not then."
"Jack it's so beautiful!"
She fiddled with the clasp and opened it, handing her gift to him.
"Will you?" she asked.
Jack placed the locket around her neck, taking the opportunity to caress her skin with the softest touch. She sighed and leaned in to kiss him again.
"Thanks," She said, "for the great night out, the presents, you. God, it really would make it perfect if you made love to me. I wanna stay here with you Jack, in your arms."
Jack breathed a regretful sigh.
"Sorry Sam, I can't. Don't ask me to do that, it's not right."
"Not right?" She was bitterly disappointed, not understanding his rejection at first. He loved her, why didn't he want her?
"Don't get me wrong, I want you. You think I don't want to make love to you? Of course I do. But there's too much other crap. We already overstepped the mark. I still happen to be your CO and we need to work all that out."
"Honorable General Jack O'Neill, huh?"
He shrugged helplessly. Jack couldn't change his nature and had to be true to it. He was aware that he's already gone further than he should and, despite his feelings for Sam, that niggled at him. It was slightly unsettling.
"I can't help it. I'm sorry, I don't want to spoil your birthday."
"I admire and respect your feelings Jack. That honorable stuff is another one of the things I love about you." She smiled, eyes twinkling, brushing a finger over his cheek. "Besides, you couldn't spoil tonight now; this has been the best birthday I ever had."
"Good."
"What now?"
"We work it out."
"That simple?"
"Probably not, but I'll find a way."
"Promise?"
"Promise. Jack O'Neill's honor." He grinned and she laughed.
"I couldn't ask for a better promise than that. Can I stay a bit longer?"
"Sure."
They snuggled up together and Sam fingered her locket. 'Sam, I'll love you always, Jack'. Wow, that really was a confession; so unexpected, so totally astonishing. He hadn't spoken those words, but didn't need to for now. Eventually he would.
Sam wondered what forces had been at work when he bought it, believing that he would probably never be in a position give it to her. Perhaps fate was intervening at last.
So this was her real present? She loved the locket, and the sentiment, but she held the real thing in her arms. The real thing was the perfect thing.
***************
End
Story Notes: Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to The Perfect Thing, which you can find here: http://www.ficwithfins.com/AA3_1/archive/1/theperfect.html
Author's Note: I just had to write a sequel to The Perfect Thing. how could I leave it there? Thanks to Bonnie for giving it the once over and, as Fulinn28, for making the book cover. And thanks to all of you who gave feedback, and asked for more!
Author's Note: I just had to write a sequel to The Perfect Thing. how could I leave it there? Thanks to Bonnie for giving it the once over and, as Fulinn28, for making the book cover. And thanks to all of you who gave feedback, and asked for more!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]