Well.
That little chat I had with Jacob has left me feeling thoroughly…depleted.
His words are ping ponging around in my head.
~There's talk among the Tok'ra ranks that the end is closer than we think...and I don't mean the end of the Goa'uld. I mean the end of us...all of us. The Jaffa rebellion isn't exactly rolling as well as could be expected either, I take it?~
And then my defeatist reply.
~No. It's not.~
Well, it’s not.
Sitting here, as the sun rises, those words take on new meaning. Meaning of hurt, struggle, pain and loss.
A few Jaffa are training down on the compound; some of the Tok’Ra are in deep in discussion; my men are guarding the gate.
As I sit here on top of the hill observing the galaxy’s best hopes, I realise something. Jacob was right.
We’re never going to win, and all the fighting and struggling, although worth it now, will not be worth it in the grand scheme of things.
*
It’s nearing the end of my watch. Carter’ll be here soon to take over. Oh…wait…her she is.
She’s striding confidently up the hill towards me, purpose in her steps. In no time at all she reaches me.
‘Hey Colonel.’
‘Hey Carter.’
I make no move to get up, which I think has her slightly confused. Quite a feat that is…getting Carter confused I mean. I hear her exhale slowly and then lower herself to sit next to me. It’s silent for a little while.
‘What are you thinking sir?’
Her question surprises me slightly, and I find that it is easier to reply than it should be, or usually is. Taking a slow breath I reply.
‘I’m thinking that everything we’re looking at right now is our best hope. Earths best hope. This galaxy’s best hope. And that if this is true, we’re doomed to failure.’
I know she’s shocked by my words, because I am to.
‘Why do you say that sir?’
‘Because it’s true. Oh…I know. I’m not usually the one to give up…I know. But it’s time to face up to it Carter. We’re fighting a war that can never be won.’
The silence that follows our short conversation is appropriate, but as time goes by the need for something to be said grows once more, but I’m beaten to it.
‘Sir, I don’t know what my dad said to you,’ she pauses, and out of the corner of my eye I see her look at me. ‘But I’m guessing it wasn’t very good.’
‘Then you guessed right Carter.’
I risk a glance at her and to my surprise she’s smiling. It’s a reflex reaction that causes me to grin back.
Slowly the moment grows serious.
‘Sir…maybe what you say is true. Maybe we won’t win. That doesn’t mean we should give up.’
‘How’d ya figure that?’ I ask, looking at the ground and toeing the soil with my boot.
I see her swallow before replying.
‘Because if we do…we’re doomed to lose hope.’
Her words hit home and my eyes are magnetically drawn back to hers.
‘Don’t lose hope sir,’ she quietly whispers.
I smile at her once more, letting her know that I understand her words. Letting her know that I’ll follow her words. That I trust her.
Away from our own little world I hear Teal’c’s voice calling us.
‘O’Neill! Major Carter! Your presence is required!’
I look down the hill and see him standing there, and, for a Jaffa, looking worried.
I stand up whilst giving him a thumbs up, signalling that we’re on our way.
Looking back, I offer Carter a hand up which she accepts, both of us holding on a little longer than we need to in an attempt to offer each other some strength, reassurance and most importantly of all, hope.
***
Story Notes: Series/Sequel Info: None
Season: Six
Spoilers: Allegiance
Pairings: Sam and Jack
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters relating to Stargate. They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I’m just playing around with them for a little while!
Authors Note: OK…this one is set between Jack and Jacob’s conversation and the next scene when Sam’s discovered the reactor thing has been tampered with…erm…yeah…you know where I mean!!
Season: Six
Spoilers: Allegiance
Pairings: Sam and Jack
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters relating to Stargate. They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I’m just playing around with them for a little while!
Authors Note: OK…this one is set between Jack and Jacob’s conversation and the next scene when Sam’s discovered the reactor thing has been tampered with…erm…yeah…you know where I mean!!
End Notes: That’s it!! I’ve done it!! Finito!! Hope you’ve enjoyed it, and as always…………FEEDBACK me!!! J
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]