CHOICES
Sam's father's words rang through her head. "Don't let rules stand in your way..." and that he wanted her to be happy. She was denying what he was talking about then, but now...Now it all seemed so clear. Her dad was gone. They had been closer in the last 4 years than they had ever been. She was grateful, and happy they got that chance. But he was right. She wasn't happy...Not entirely. That's what caused her to break up with Pete, even though she still thought the man that she wanted was unreachable, and with someone else, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She didn't love Pete. Not in the way she cared for Jack.
Sam sat in her back yard with a beer in one hand and was curled up in one of her porch chairs. She let the events of the past few days wash over her. She promised her dad she was happy, and even though it was a lie then, she was going to make sure it was truthful. At some time. Her thoughts wandered back to when she saw...him... with another woman in his office. She had been getting her nerves up to go and talk to him, about Daniel. Or so that's what she was telling herself, and she stopped dead cold. She had absolutely no right to be jealous...she was engaged...but she was. Jealous that is. She then thought about how Jack must feel...if he still felt that way about her.
As sam flashed back to reality she heard herself sigh. She finally admitted to herself that she cared far, far more about Jack than Pete. She may have in a way loved Pete, but unlike another, she wasn't in love with him. Anytime Pete would say `I love you' she'd say `Me too...' Not `I love you' back. She even said it in the briefing room in front of her team, her father, and Bra'tac. The fact that her father brought up something about the flowers and the wedding made her stomach drop. But she understood now. It was his not-so-subtle way of saying... "What the hell are you doing with him?" She didn't know if she was ready to admit she was in love with Jack out loud, but she was sure as hell getting there. She had broken it off with Pete, and felt a spark light up in herself whenever she saw Jack. That was saying something, especially since they'd seen each other almost every day for the past 8 years, and they weren't even together, yet the spark was more alive than ever. She couldn't deny that. She thought back to observation room and Jack's arm around her. He could understand her in a way no one else could.
At that thought, she vaguely heard the doorbell ring. She really didn't want to get up, especially to have anyone see her with the tear marks down her face. But a small something inside of her told her it was him. But it could very well be Daniel or Teal'c. Daniel. Thank *GOD* he was back. With his memory...She wouldn't have been able to deal with his loss too. As she walked to the doorway her heart did little flips. She didn't even know if it was him though. She chided herself. As she opened the door, it was him.
"Hey Carter..." He let his voice trail off.
"Sir...Hi...um..." she was a little speechless. But she figured it was him coming to hang out. Be there for her. Always.
"Come in... Would you like a beer?"
He stood awkwardly in the doorway. "Uh..No thanks Carter...I..." Sam turned around and looked at him curiously. He rarely ever turned down a beer...and he was nervous. Could it be what she was hoping? God....she wanted it to be.
"Sam I came to ask you something...Tell you something...Um...Both."
She brightened and shivered a little at the sound of her name. "Sure, Sir...sit down..." She sat on her couch and waited for him to join her on the other end.
He raised both of his hands. "See, that's the first thing. No more Sir. I retired as General and am now running the base as a civilian. Effective immediately." As he sat down he flexed his hands and looked for her reaction.
She said the obvious answer, quietly, as though she thought she was expecting too much out of this act. "Why?"
He scrubbed his hand against his distinguished graying hair. "I think you know why Carter...Let's just say that...You know Kerry?" He saw her wince as she nodded her head. "She talked some sense into me. Said that if the rules and regulations were the only thing keeping me from someone else who I cared for, a *lot* then I should do something about it. So...that and the both of us...Kerry and I...never really *had* a relationship per-say, but it ended. When she told me that."
Sam was speechless. She always figured it was her that would confront him; well she did. She tried. She just couldn't believe this was happening. After 8 years.
"Now...I know that you and Pete are....." he paused. "...engaged...But I really needed-"
"No."
Jack was startled and confused by her words. "What?"
Sam sighed, stood up and started pacing. "When I found out my dad was sick...He asked me if I was happy. Really happy. I told him yes. He sighed... and said that I could still have everything I wanted and not to let the rules get in the way. I didn't want to know what he meant then, but I did. Sir...Jack...." His first name felt strange on her lips, but at the same time it was exhilarating. "I broke it off with Pete. I didn't...really love him. Not in the way I lo...care for...feel about you." She winced and internally wanted to smack her hand to her forehead. She just about admitted she loved him. *idiot!*
Jack was silent for a moment. Then let out a soft "Oh."
"Yeah..."
"So we...I..You...kind of...have...Oh hell." He got up and swiftly walked across the floor to her and turned her gently to him in her arms. He looked into her eyes, and asked for permission silently. She looked from his eyes to his lips, and back to his eyes, and his gaze felt like it was penetrating her soul. She wanted this, but she didn't need to tell him. She knew he felt it. He slowly descended towards her, and as their mouths meshed it was like nothing either had felt before. Years of penned up passion and energy flew through them with just a simple feathery kiss. It started that way, but grew in intensity. Sam felt her body hum as her arms wrapped around Jack's shoulders, and his around her back and waist. She felt herself falling into his embrace, his tender kiss. A kiss that spoke of the promise of the future.
When they finally broke apart for air she murmured, "Yeah...we do." looking into his eyes. Answering his almost unasked question.
"Good." and he gently dropped her arms, never wavering from her eyes.
"Look Sam, I....I want to get to know you as you. Not as Carter, not as Colonel, as Sam. Teal'c, Daniel, and I are going to this *great* little place in Minnesota where the bass grow *this big*!" He held out his arms 3 feet apart getting a laugh out of her. Mission accomplished.
"I was wondering if you-"
"Yeah..." She cut him off again, really softly, and wore a crooked smile, as if afraid of her answer.
Jack's eyes lit up. "Really?"
She chuckled again. "Yeah, Jack. I'd love to." Her grin was as wide as his. There were no rules now, she didn't need to be afraid now. All the times she said no to his invitations were because she thought she knew what would happen if she went there with him. Now she didn't need to be afraid.
"Ok then! We're leaving in a couple days.....I'll call you with he details!" As his excitement fled through him, he stopped and looked at her. She really was, in all respects, mind, body, and soul; the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on. He wanted to tell her that. He planned on telling her that one day. But not today. He wasn't ready. Yet. He stepped closer to her and kissed her on the cheek.
"Bye Sam..." His eyes were darker and more beautiful than she had ever seen him, the sunlight danced in them. The bounce in his step was very easy to see. She had a hard time believing that it was she who did that to him. Not to mention it was him who got her heart racing 120 miles an hour. Actually, that part wasn't so hard to believe. As he turned to look at her, she just said a simple word.
"Bye..." But it wasn't goodbye for a long period of time. It was a welcoming to a continuation on their already strong friendship, that from what she had just experienced, was going to grow into a whole helluva lot more. As he closed the door, she whispered to continue her one word.
"Jack...I love you."
She could- and would tell him that someday, in truth, in reality. Just not today.
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Story Notes: This is a, what I think should be a missing scene from Threads. I originally wrote this piece right after "Threads" aired in the US, and hoped that they would show a little something more in Season 8, but I can always hope for more in 9! Anyway. I'm gonna play in Stargate World!-Oh, and any mistakes are mine! Not beta read. This is a little bit of a "revised" piece..I redid some parts of this after writing it originally. I would love this one in the SJD archive as well as my orignial "Choices"
ARCHIVE: SJD, yes.
EMAIL: stargate_sg_1_fanfic@yahoo.com
ARCHIVE: SJD, yes.
EMAIL: stargate_sg_1_fanfic@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]