Sam made her way out of the infirmary. "What a day", she sighed. She still couldn't believe that he had just told Pete the whole story about the SGC. Just a couple of hours ago she worried if he could stand it to never fully know what she was doing and if it was fair to him to continue this ...relationship. Relationship. That sounded strange in connection to her. But Sam couldn't help to smile about the fact that she was indeed in a relationship, after 7 years of loneliness, more or less, she was in a real relationship. Dating, talking, laughing...it was great. Not to mention the more intimate levels they were taking.
Suddenly Sam felt bad. She was a woman, she had needs as well. But why did she feel something heavy pushing down on her heart. Was it so wrong to give a "normal" life a try? Especially if she couldn't have what she really wanted more than anything else?
There it was! She tried so hard to ignore the fact, to ignore the face, the voice, the sarcasm she strangely got to love.... tried to forget the past 7 years, but especially everything after that one incident. This one moment in front of the force shield, separated and facing death. Together and yet apart. The Zat´arc testing. This one moment where they had to tell the truth. They couldn't hide any longer and the realization of that became painly obvious ever after that incident. Yeah, they decided to let it in the room. Or better, *she* decided to do so. She still saw his face in front of her. Asking if she was alright with this. She nodded while desperately wanting to scream "No!" but she knew better than that. So did he.
They knew they never could pursue a relationship forced apart by regulations. They both knew they weren't able to keep it a secret either and so they kept going on. Trying to put their working relationship on top of everything else while hiding any other feelings. It was difficult at first but got easier with time. They hardly saw each other out of the SGC. And if they did, never alone. Keeping everything professional, trying to ignore everything else and thinking it would disappear later, secretly hoping for this one day in the future where regulations were gone, where they could finally get what they ever wanted. A life together.
Sam sighed once more, on the way to her lab. And now? Was she giving up on that future because of Pete? No, the answer was easy. She wasn't giving up, she never could.
Sam was in her lab, moved to her desk and fiddled with some tools as she heard movement. She looked to the door and there he was.
She looked at him. "Sir?" He smiled, it looked kinda sad she had to admit.
"How is ...Pete?"
Again. He asked about him again. Why? She knew it had to hurt him as much as it hurt her. She didn't want to push it into his face, to talk with him about a man she tried to have a normal life with, although knowing it would never work because of *him*
"He´s fine. Nothing serious. Janet said he could be released soon."
Jack moved closer, grabbing something on her desk "Soooo." he looked up at her. "He got the whole story, huh?"
Sam nodded. "Thank you for ...talking to the General about it."
"No problem. Guess it would've been a bit difficult to explain those glowing eyes."
She smiled. "Yes it would've been, Sir."
He looked down. She looked at his hands fiddling with her tool, somehow wanting to grab his hand and stop him from playing around with it. It was making her nervous and suddenly she felt herself rambling.
"It feels strange, though. That he ...knows it all now. I mean, we just started ...I don't know if...and the he would know ...and I'm not sure ...god, I never meant to..." She looked up at him, her eyes sad.
He stopped her before she could finish her sentence. He knew what she was going to say. "Don't! It's okay, Carter. Believe me."
"No it's not. You don´t deserve..."
"Hey!" He put his hand up as if trying to stop her. "I mean it. It's okay." His eyes were warm and she knew he said the truth but she could also see pain. Not pain by her choice to try to move on but by the fact that he couldn't give her what she needed right now. She looked down. There was a moment of silence.
"You know. Someone once told me that the more rocks are in the way, the bigger is the chance of surviving." She looked up at him, knowing what he meant but being surprised nonetheless.
"Don't ask. It must've been Daniel. You know how he´s with his rocks."
She tried to stiffle a laugh. He smiled.
"But it might be true." Their eyes met. "At least it's worth to keep hoping for it, isn't it?"
She slowly smiled. "It definitely is, Sir. How big the rocks might be, it's worth it."
He nodded and gave her a quick smile, then moved to the door. Just before leaving he turned around. "Uh Carter, if he should ever hurt you in any way, tell him about Baal, okay?" He grinned and left.
Sam got the biggest smile on her face. There was no questioning in her feelings. She was sure that the one day in the future would come.
The End
Story Notes: Email: rdalips-addicted@yahoo.de
Episode Tag Chimera - (takes place right after Chimera ended)
Spoilers: Chimera, Divide & Conquer
Archive: SJD, yes
Author´s Note: My take on what happened after Chimera. I needed to have a bit of closure between S&J. :D I *so* don´t like Pete! :D
Episode Tag Chimera - (takes place right after Chimera ended)
Spoilers: Chimera, Divide & Conquer
Archive: SJD, yes
Author´s Note: My take on what happened after Chimera. I needed to have a bit of closure between S&J. :D I *so* don´t like Pete! :D
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]