Story Notes: Spoilers/Sequel: None that I know of... unless you're reading Seeress of Kell by David Eddings, and only in an insult.

Warnings: Occaisonal insults, in Shakespearean, and occaisonal sexual references.

AN: I love Stargate, do de do..sorry, um, I read Wendy Parkinson's material, and thought that this would be fun to do, like the story they wrote in her 'Danny Lurks' Series (Which totally rock in my opinion) and here it is... The Princess of WIPs is finally finishing something!!! (Like seriously, I should be Queen, I'm still procrastinating from four years ago...) Oh, and High Style writing has always fascinated me, and I read David Eddings, so I had to put it in...

King George Hammond read the letter from his cousin, Duke Jacob Carter, who also went by Selmak in his business dealings. The letter was about his daughter, the young Duchess, Samantha Carter, whom King Hammond loved like his own daughter. A neighbouring King, King Harry Maybourne, had had Lady Samantha kidnapped. Lord Jacob implored the King to send his champion knights, as well as an advisor, to rescue her. The prize for her rescue would be her hand in marriage, but only if Lady Samantha agreed. King Hammond summoned his advisor, Lord Daniel Jackson, to send for Sir Jack O'Neill, and Sir Teal'c. He knew if anybody could rescue Lady Samantha, they could. When they arrived, he read out the letter, and told them, "For 'certes, the unchivilrous King Harry wishes to have the fair Lady Samantha's hand in uncouth forced marriage, against her will, and, should this cometh to pass, would the Lady Samantha be sore tried to find her way home, for he shalt have put guards around her." He paused. "I charge thee, my knights, to go forth and rescue the fair Lady Samantha, and, shouldst thou succeed, and shouldst the Lady be willing, thou may have her hand in marriage. Go forth, my knights, for thou art the greatest knights on Earth, and there is naught which can stand against thee. Chastise this most uncouth of all villians, for he hath violated one of the most sacred of the sacred laws of all men, to guard and protect women of all rank. Go forth, my knights, and rescue this fair Lady, and chastise the villian who holds her captive."

Later, as the knights rode, along with Lord Daniel, they discussed how they could possibly rescue the Lady Samantha. Sir Teal'c the Strong favoured using the lance in a duel, with the release of the Lady Samantha as the prize. Lord Daniel suggested against it, "For, e'en as thou art the bravest and most skilled knights on life, the ill-favoured King Harry might sink as low as to dirty subterfuge to forfeit thy winning." The knights considered this, then agreed that it might not work. Sir Jack the Brave then suggested climbing to rescue her. Lord Daniel nodded. "But we shall ahve to climb one at a time." He advised. "For otherwise, should minions of the King come out, who shall guard below?" The knights quickly and quietly talked among themselves, and it was decided that Sir Teal'c would stay down, and Sir Jack would go up and rescue the Lady Samantha. Sir Teal'c also added, that as he and Lord Daniel had wives, it would be best for Sir Jack to win her favour. What he didn't say was that everyone had seen the looks that he sent her way.

It took them almost a month to reach the keep of King Harry, unaffectionatley known as King Maybourne. He was a rather ugly looking man with bulging eyes and a tendency to glare at people and threaten them. It had already been decided that they would wait until nightfall to hide Sir Jack's progress up the side of the keep. There was a turret, which made it easier, all they had to do, was wait until the watch had gone by, throw the rope, climb up, adn hide, or even put the guard to sleep. The watch appeared to be a rather lazy man, who was obviously half asleep, but that could have possibly been the ale, or whatever it was in that flask, that he was drinking. They waited until he was past, then Sir Jack began to climb. It was harder than it looked, as Sir Jack was in full armour, and he had to muffle it's customary clinking, but he was eventually to the turret. He looked around him, and smiled. Just around the corner, the watchguard sat asleep, nursing his flask, and what also appeared to be a jug. Sir Jack crept, no mean feat for someone in full armour, and finally found the window to the room Lady Samantha was locked in. King Maybourne was with her. "Have you had enough time to reconsider my offer?" Lady Samantha stood stiffly near a wall. "Thy words show unseemly courtesy, and your actions seemeth me to show a lack of good breeding on your behalf. Your eyes remind me of a toads, and your beard looks more like the hair on a hinder portion of a mongrel dog than an ornament for a human face. Did your mother perhaps dally with a randy goat at some time past?" She paused. "You seemeth me to be tongue-tied, My Lord of Fleas. Hath my speech, perchance, hit upon some grain of truth?" Sir Jack stifled the urge to laugh out loud. He'd known the Lady Samantha for many years, and he would have expected nothing less from her. He peered back in the window. King Maybourne appeared to be livid. "No mere woman shall apeak to me like that and go unpunished! You shall not have food or drink tomorrow or the day after!" Then he turned on his heel, and left the room, locking it behind him. Sir Jack waited, until the sound of King Maybournes footsteps echoing behind him had faded, and crept in the window. "Lady Samantha!" She whirled. "Sir Jack!" She hurled herself into his arms. "Dare I hope that thou hath come to rescue me from this accursed prison?" His arms went around her, protectively. "Yea, verily, and if I may be so blunt as to put it this way, to take thee to mine own keep, and make thee my wife." She looked up at him, surprise in her eyes. "Art thou asking.." "I am." He looked around. "But I fear me, this is neither the place, nor the time. But come, I have got a rope and horse waiting for thee, as well as Lord Daniel and Sir Teal'c." He swept her up in his arms and carried her to the window. "Canst thou make thy way down a rope?" She looked at him archly. "I can get down a rope as well as thou can." "Good. The rope is just over there. I shall be right behind thee." They climbed out of the window, and made their way to where the rope still hung. "Dost thou want me to go down first?" Sir Jack asked. "Nay, Sir Jack, But neither do I wish to go down before thee. My hands are very sore, and I fear me the rope shall aggravate them further." Sir Jack thought for a moment. "Then canst thou cling to my back?" "I do believe I can, My Lord." Sir Jack crouched as Lady Samantha climbed onto his back. He carefully swung out, and began to slowly crawl down the wall of the keep. He eventually touched the ground, and let the Lady Samantha down. Lord Daniel and Sir Teal'c came to his aid. "The rope." Sir Jack whispered to Sir Teal'c. Sir Teal'c nodded, and, with a few twists, managed to get the rope free. Sir Jack turned to Lady Samantha, who had gotten hold of his hand and clearly had no intention of letting it go. "Wilt thou ride with me, My Lady?" "I shall, My Lord." The emphasis she put on the 'My Lord' was not lost on him. He boosted her up behind the saddle, and got up in front of her. She put her arms around his waist, and rested her head against him. He felt himself begin to harden, and tried to put the thought of her arms around him in another context out of his mind. As soon as Lord Daniel and Sir Teal'c were mounted, they kicked their horses into a gallop and didn't stop until daybreak.

It was a few weeks later, when they were stopped by some men, soldiers, by their uniforms. "'Ave y' jist come from th' King's keep?" One demanded arrogantly. "If we ahve, what business is it of thine?" "King 'ad a gal 'e wan'ed t' marry. Come t' think o' it, looks a lot like that thar woman you's have got wit yer's. Nice looker thar too." "What is this woman that he is looking for like?" "Blon', pri'ee, but th' strangist thang iz 'e 'ad 'er 'air cut off. Jist like tha' la'ee thar." "This is my wife, Baroness Serena, my brother, Lord Daniel, and a mercenary, Thomas, hired to protect my lady from foul mishap, should we must needs to ride ahead. She hath ever been one to keep her hair clipped close, to keep it from her eyes when riding." The soldier's eyes narrowed. "Y' aren' from 'round 'ere, 're y'?" Surprisingly, it was Lady Samantha who spoke. "My husband here accompanied me to visit my relatives. I'm from around here though, he is not." The soldier nodded. "I see y', will, git going on throo than." He stepped aside to let them pass, and they passed at a canter.

The rest of the trip back to King George's keep was rather uneventful, and it was with relief that they saw the keep late one morning. Their horses were handed over to stableboys, and they went directly to the King's hall. A hush fell upon the nobles gathered there, as they looked upon the travel stained quartet. Lady Samantha rushed into her father's arms, and then greeted her kinsman, the King. Sir Jack, Sir Teal'c, and Lord Daniel approached the throne and bowed. The King stood, and addressed the hall. "Verily, our champion's hath returned, safely, and, I perceive, with the Lady Samantha. Let us than have a banquet tonight, to celebrate her safe return, at the hands of this mighty kingdom's champions!" He went on, praising the heroes, and then everyone got the chance to leave, for the king could be quite long winded when he chose. There was a stir as everyone began to file out for preparations for the night's banquet, the buzz of activity, and spoken words, almost deafening. Sir Jack approached Lord Jacob, the Duke of Colorado Springs, and asked the question he had been framing in his mind the whole trip back. "My Lord, I hath but one request of thee." At Lord Jacob's nod, he continued. "I hath broached this subject to thine fair daughter, and she doth accept, but I hath been meaning to get thine permission, and to propose again tonight, at the banquet." He took a deep breath. "I ask of thee, to have the hand of thy fair daughter, the fairest in this land and beyond, in marriage." Lord Jacob smiled. "I hath waited for this day, knowing that mine only daughter doth love thee, with all of her heart, and fearing that thou wouldst not ask this question of me. I give thee my daughter's hand in marriage freely, and also my blessings, for she hath been the light of my life, since the sad day her mother departed from this world." He sighed. "I must confess, however, that this is also a saddening event to me, for I do love mine only daughter much, and shall sorely miss her presence." Then he brightened. "Well, away to the bath house, my boy! There is not much time left, thy knowest!"

The banquet was a success, people eating, drinking, and talking merrily. The crowds gathered laughed at Sir Jack's recounting of the insults Lady Samantha had thrown at King Maybourne, as she blushed rosily. Then had come the part that Sir Jack had been almost dreading. He called a silence down, walked to the Lady Samantha's chair, and got down on one knee. "My Lady Samantha." He began. "I hath asked thy father's permission and he hath been gracious enough tog rant me it. I must now ask thee. My Lady Samantha," he said, taking her hand in his. "Wilt thou have me to be thy husband?" Tears came into the Lady Samantha's eyes. "With all of mine heart, I say yes!" Then she'd thrown her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

The wedding was held a few days later, a prudent caution, and the Baroness Samantha was radiant, as she kissed her new husband, who had a slightly baffled look on his face. Lord Jacob, however, had a mysterious smile...

The End. Or is it?

End Notes: Feedback, comments, criticism, death threats, email lady-

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