We had stepped through the wormhole onto a bright, sunny planet. The ground was covered in thick vegetation and bushes and trees abounded. the climate was a little humid, but you can't have everything I guess. The platform the gate stood on was the same as always, what wasn't the same though were the glyphs carved into the rocky steps.
I jumped down for a closer look, yep, they were there on the sides too. I lifted a hand to loosen my shoulder straps, keen to get out my camera and notebook, but Jack's voice, as always, interrupted my dreams.
"Daniel! C'mon, we're hunting for natives, plenty of time to play with rocks later."
Why is it he always makes that sounds as if I'm playing tiddlywinks with pebbles? Or jack stones? 'Jack stones', I grinned, it was an old, old game, for an old, old man. Petty I guess, but I needed some vengeance from being pulled away from my vocation on such a regular basis. And I know for a fact he takes some sort of sadistic pleasure in doing this to me.
Still, the day and the place were nice, good for a stroll, and I might find other 'rocks' yet. Grinning still, I had followed my team into the thick green foliage, and into an ambush.
I didn't see a thing, that first time round and I barely felt it either when I was hit by the blast of a staff weapon. I remember falling, the blue sky wheeling above me, but there was pain, or perhaps I have no memory of pain. All I know is that when I opened my eyes again, instead of the bright white lights of the infirmary above me, I was standing upright and staring round at that beautiful planet again.
The steps beneath my feet sported the same glyphs and, as I jumped down, an eerie feeling crawled its way up my spine and lodged cold fingers in my head. I'd jumped down here before and I could hear Jack's voice trail off as he began his speech about 'looking for natives' .
I think we found them Jack, and I don't think they appreciated it much.
*****************************************************************
I don't know how many times I died. I remember running hands over my chest and rubbing my throat. I remember Sam and Jack checking to make sure we were all real and whole, several times over. I remember Jack getting angrier and angrier, and T'ealc becoming more and more disturbed by the course of events. Towards the end there, I think I was losing it.
I've never met a culture I wanted to annihilate before, but I wanted to, briefly, way down deep inside, to kill them all before they had another shot at us again.
But it didn't happen that way.
I remember Jack and I diving through the wormhole, leaving Sam and T'ealc, broken and dead, behind us.
I remember crying.
And I remember stepping back onto the stone steps with their graven pictures and seeing Sam and T'ealc there, beside me, alive and whole.
I wanted to scream.
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We made it back of course, I guess we always do eventually. But this experience has shaken me in a way no other trip has ever done before. I've seen my team mates die, over and over again.
And I know they, and I, are not indestructible.
I always though I had accepted the possibility of their loss, or my own death. But I haven't, not at all, not even a little. I know that as I wake with a cry in night.
And, when I hear the soft steps in the hallway and the knock on the door, I know I'm not the only one.
****************************************************************
Time heals. I've always believed that. And it has, even though its only been a week. If one of us had been brought back dead, if we hadn't been lucky enough to leave together, whole and alive...
I'm not sure there's enough time in the whole universe for that.
Sam thinks we broke out by returning the way we entered, all together. She added, as an afterthought, that, dead or alive, it probably wouldn't have mattered, just so long as all of us left together. We've been working on theories of what caused it and how to stop it, working with what little information we have and what I can remember of the glyphs.
It's entirely possible that the natives had been, and still are, going through that loop over and over again for years, centuries even. Maybe they remember too. maybe that's why they killed us. After all, if none of them were responsible, and four strangers pop up out of nowhere, who are you going to blame?
I shouldn't blame them, I shouldn't.
But I think, maybe I do.
Beer's cold, meat's hot and the summer evening is cool enough to wear a shirt on the porch. Sam and Jack are sitting down across from me and as I raise my bottle in return to their gesture, and T'ealc's rather wooden version of a toast, I feel the last of the tension leave me.
Jack, I know, will never truly forgive them and Sam, well, I doubt she's thought about blaming them too much. T'ealc, you know him, he'd never waste his time on such a pointless activity.
The smoke rises from the grill to the silent stars above and I find myself watching them with anticipation.
Perhaps I do blame them.
But I'm only human, and I can't ask anymore of myself really, than to understand why. I look back down at Sam and Jack.
And I think I know why.
TE
Story Notes: ARCHIVE: SJD, yes. Others, yes, please credit correctly and for non-profit only.
SEQUEL: Parallel Stories: Nightmares Lived, Nightmares Lived - Sam,
Nightmares Lived - T'ealc, Nightmares Lived - Daniel.
SPOILERS: None
SEQUEL: Parallel Stories: Nightmares Lived, Nightmares Lived - Sam,
Nightmares Lived - T'ealc, Nightmares Lived - Daniel.
SPOILERS: None
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]