Yesterday we defeated the Goa’uld.
Yesterday a war was ended.
Yesterday a new journey began.
Granted, even though the war was over, there were still things to be done. Planets to be visited, people to meet, technology to gather; and I have to say I’m looking forward to this journey just as much as the last one.
Except for one part of it.
The colonel handed in his resignation this morning.
His claim was that he’d always said as soon as the Goa’uld had been wiped out he was going to retire. And so he did. Much to everyone’s disappointment, and a great deal of sadness.
He’d told us all the news in the commissary.
I had been eating my blue jello, Jonas his daily bowl of fruit, Teal’c and huge tray of everything imaginable, and Daniel his pancakes.
To say we’d all nearly choked on our respective meals would be pretty accurate. I just sat there, mouth wide open, displaying my gelatine snack to the whole room.
I missed the rest of the conversation, and only came round to the sight of the colonel's retreating form.
“Where’s he going?” I asked.
“To finalize some paperwork Sam,” Jonas filled in for me.
“Oh,” I replied rather dejectedly.
It was the strangest day.
I’m not sure if I ever consciously thought about the day one of us would retire, but a part of me expected that day to be…different from how it was currently going.
After his dropped bombshell that morning, we didn’t see him for the rest of the day. I stayed as long as justifiable, and in the end had to leave for fear of Janet ordering me home, or worse, making me spend the night locked in my quarters so I didn’t do any work. Oh yeah. She’s done that one before.
I’m not sure what I expected.
Undying proclamations of love?
All of the above?
I don’t know.
My journey from the base to home passed uneventfully, and before I knew where I was I was parked outside my empty home.
Given the events of today…god I wish someone could have been in there. A very particular someone.
Slotting the key in the door, I clicked it to the left and the wooden barrier slid open. I blinked a few times as the light on in the hall invaded my vision.
When did I put the light on?
Dumping my keys on the table I walked slowly up the hallway, puling off my scarf in the process.
I looked around the kitchen as I approached. Nothing out of the ordinary.
“I was wondering when you’d get here.”
I jumped and turned around to the sound of the voice.
Colonel Jack O’Neill was sitting on my couch, perfectly relaxed, jacket slung over the arm and shoes off with feet on the table.
“Sir!” I said, the confusion and shock in my voice evident. “What are you doing…here?”
“Just visiting a friend, Carter,” he replied slowly, turning his head to look at me.
I drew in a slow breath, the intensity of his gaze almost getting the better of me. Looking away I found a spot to dump my scarf, coat shortly following.
I didn’t look back at him.
Turning I went to the kettle, checked to see it had water in, then switched it on. A cup of coffee definitely wouldn’t go amiss right now.
Pouring the boiled water in two mugs with precision, I turned back to the Colonel’s still seated position and walked over with our drinks.
As I got up next to him I noticed he had moved over to make a space for me next to him.
God! Why did he have to do that?
I place our mugs down side by side on the table, pushing on his feet gently to encourage him to put them on the floor.
I felt his smile on me as he did so.
Feeling there was no way out, I lowered myself carefully onto the sofa beside him, making sure I kept a safe distance.
“So, did you want anything in particular sir?” I asked cautiously.
“Yeah, there was actually, Carter,” he replied.
There was silence for a moment.
I gasped in shock, my head shooting around to look at him.
“What?” I whispered.
“I want you,” he repeated calmly, his eyes looking straight into mine.
I broke the contact and stood up, immediately beginning to pace around the room.
“I don’t…what…when? I mean how? No…really?”
He smiled at my babbled words, but remained seated.
“Yeah Carter, really. I know it’s unbelievable but…ya know…”
Typical Jack O’Neill. His humour defense mechanism was shining through brightly.
I stopped pacing for a moment, looking at him again.
“I don’t…I don’t know what to say. To do.”
“It’s OK,” he said sincerely. “I know this is weird. Years spent ignoring the…feelings and stuff…and now…for it to be oaky…to have…feelings. It’s a lot to deal with.”
“No kidding,” I replied sarcastically.
His head lowered at my words.
“Listen Carter, I understand if you want me to leave. If you don’t want anything like this with me. That’s OK…”
“I mean, it’s been six years…”
“I can’t just expect you to feel the same now, after that long…”
“Things change, people change.”
Even that didn’t get his attention.
“I mean, I’m not the same man I was back then. Hell…I’m not as young as I used to be. And you…you deserve something amazing…”
I didn’t hear the rest of his sentence.
As his incessant list of reasons went on for me not to want to be with him, I knelt down in front of him between his legs, lifted his face, and kissed him hard before he had time to react.
I gotta say…you spend years dreaming about that one kiss, and you think it’ll never be as good as you expect it to be.
But oh my god.
Nothing on earth could have prepared me for this.
His lips feel soft against my own, his tongue gently stroking against mine. His hands caress my back, sides, everywhere.
After long moments the most incredible moment of my life comes to a natural end.
Even after our lips have parted my eyes remain closed as I struggle to regain some normality over my breathing. I can feel his own breath wash over me in delicious pants.
“Jack?” I whisper pleadingly, my hand coming up to touch his cheek, then pull him against me. Our chests move against one another’s heavily, until our breathing returns to a somewhat normal state.
“Sam,” he whispers back at me. I feel his hands running through my hair. It’s one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever felt.
I feel him gently pushing me backwards, just far enough so I know he’s looking at me.
“Open your eyes,” he says quietly in a breath against my lips.
I do as he asks, and what I see causes my to blurt out one of the things I’ve been forbidden to say for the past few years.
“I love you.”
Given our close proximity all I can see is his eyes. Those eyes that caused my to make my confession.
Now, now those eyes are smiling at me.
He brings his hands up to my face and rests them on my cheeks, thumbs gently stroking my flushed skin.
“God Sam Carter, I’m so in love with you,” he breathes out.
My emotions are so high I have no idea what to do with them or myself. So, I decide that what we were doing a few minutes ago was just fine.
We kiss heatedly for long minutes, neither of us aware of, or caring about the time.
“Oh Jack,” I say between kisses. “I never…. thought…. I’d be so glad…that you were...retiring.”
He kisses me hard once more before pulling back to look at me. “You know what, me either.”
I smile slightly before voicing my fears. “I can’t believe your leaving us…me.”
“Hey,” he chides. “I’m not leaving you. I’m gonna be right here with you.” He pauses momentarily. “That is…if you want me to be.”
I almost laugh at the tone of his voice and uncertainty in his eyes. I restrain myself and find his hand with my own. Squeezing it gently I reply.
“Oh, I want you. I want you so much.”
He grins the biggest grin I’ve ever seen from him. “Well!” he starts. “That works out pretty well then.”
We fall into fits of laughter again, before resuming the very enjoyable task of showing each other how much we really want to be together.
Like I said.
Another journey has begun.
One that I’m *very* happy to begin.