samandjack.net

Story Notes: Season: 6th. Set during Metamorphosis

Spoilers: Metamorphosis, slight for Divide and Conquer, Beneath the Surface, Singularity, Rite of Passage.

Feedback: Is begged for. Please let me know what you thought. sg1girl2000@yahoo.com

Authors Notes: This is my attempt to add ship into an episode that doesn't have too much on it's own. Personally, I think it's a very shippy ep, mostly because I picture the following story being in it. :-) Seriously though, we have Sam leaning on Jack's shoulder, and him willing to sacrifice himself for her(again). Compared to others eps, this one is rich with ship. If I sound desperate, it's because I am. lol

Many thanks to Cyn and Lori for the job that they did with this fic.It was *very* messed up before they got a hold of it. :-) Special thanks to Cyn for all the time she took on this. You're right, I think the notes were longer than the story. :-) I hope that this lived up to your expectation of reaching 'the next level'.

Another Authors Note: I just have to say, that as much as I want S/J to get together, I'll be sad when they do, because it will probably mean that the show is over. So, I will continue to project with all my might while watching for inspiration in the new episodes.

Copyright: Jessica Rodgers April 2004

Enjoy!


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"I'm next." Jack spoke with certainty and a measure of defiance as the guards came to take the Major. Apparantly Nirrti wasn't satisfied with what she had done to Jack's Russian counterpart.

*"Because I'd rather die myself than lose Carter."*

The memory rose unbidden as Sam heard the protests of her Colonel. She knew without a doubt that he would sacrifice himself for her. He had proven so on many an occasion. Whether or not she would want him to was an entirely different thing. She didn't know how she would manage knowing that he was dead in her place.

"It's okay, Sir." She tried to reassure him as she was led out of the cage."Maybe I'll learn how the machine works."

She looked back as she walked up the stairs into the upper room and could see his face pressed helplesssly against the bars. He hated the feeling of being able to do nothing to help her. Of only being able to watch her as she was taken away. Carter was under his command, and was his to protect. And this time he couldn't.

Sam steeled herself for her meeting with Nirrti and squared her shoulders; she would fight the Goa'uld if it was the last thing she did. And, she acknowledged grimly, it just might be.

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Agar curiously probed the mind of Jack O'Neill. Many dark thoughts lay hidden under the surface, but at the moment, he was sensing the overwhelming sensation of fear. Not for himself, but rather for the woman. He had tried to convince them to take him instead, and Agar could see the truth of his outcry; the love that he felt for the one called Carter. When the strangers had first arrived on their planet, Agar had greeted them, reading his mind and knowing the strangers were not there to harm him or his friends. At the mention of Nirrti, though, the man's thoughts had changed. They had been mixtures of memories and hate. Agar had seen flashes of a young girl lying in a bed, a strange device strapped to her face, a even younger girl being carried. He had read the desperation in the memories, the fear of the girls dying. And he had seen the flash of a man shaking, then bursting into liquid. But overwhelmingly Agar read the determination to kill Nirrti. And he could simply not allow that. Nirrti was healing his people, she was making them whole. It was taking time, yes, but she was not evil, as Jack O'Neill was so certain of. He continued his journey into the Colonel's mind, and was shaken by the thoughts he found there;

If anything happened to his second, Jack would see to it that Nirrti did not escape again.

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Major Samantha Carter admitted something to herself that she rarely did: She was scared. She had been scared when she was taken from her team, she was scared when she had been put into Nirrti's machine, and she was scared now, as she was placed back into the cage. Something had been done to her DNA, and that something was making her feel sick. They should have killed Nirrti when they had the chance. The Goa'uld's experiments with creating a hok'tar were getting closer to being done, and if they didn't stop her soon, Sam knew that the snakehead might well become to powerful to be destroyed. Her entourage of deformed yet powerful creatures proved that much.

She remembered what she had felt when Cassandra was sick. She had watched with morbid fascination as the teenager twirled the chess piece in the air. That was the second time that Cassie almost died because of Nirrti. And Sam knew that she was next. Her body was changing rapidly; into what, she didn't know. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to find out.

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She had come back weak. Very weak. The guards had then taken Jonas, still ignoring Jack's demands for them to take him. He couldn't stop the images of the man at the SGC, bursting into millions of liquid droplets. And he couldn't stop the images of the same thing happening to Sam; his Sam.

"You're going to be okay, Carter." Jack tried to speak with more confidence than he felt.

"No Sir. I don't think that I am."

What did she mean by that? Of course she was going to be okay! She couldn't go leaving him now; he needed her.

"Get some rest. That's an order." Jack watched the weak _expression on her face show acceptance as she..... Oh. That was...... unexpected. Instead of laying back down on the hard bench, she had leaned her weary head upon his stiff form.

*"I remember feeling feelings." "For me?" "No, for Tor."*

He wished his mind would stop remembering, that he wouldn't think of that other time when she had leaned against him for comfort. That he wouldn't recall how her lips had felt against his. Teal'c watched them for a moment, nodded his approval, then turned away, giving them privacy for a stolen moment. He was about to put his arm around her when he heard the sputtering behind him. He looked at Carter as the Russian Colonel exploded , and felt the fear within him intensify with the realization that she would be next. He had to stop it; had to get Nirrti to reverse the process, whatever the cost. He sat lost in thought, unaware of the intruder in his mind, unaware of Agar sitting behind him in the shadows.

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She was going to die. It wasn't often that she allowed herself to think that way, but she didn't see much point in denying it. She had known that it was only a matter of time before their luck ran out. They had been saved far too often by a hidden Tok'ra agent, or a rebel Jaffa. Too often by an advanced alien race, or a sympathetic native. They played Russian Roulette, gambling with their lives on a daily basis, and the chamber that she had landed on was full. And now she was going to die. She glanced at her commanding officer, who was bent forward with head in hands. She would never get a chance to tell him how she felt. She supposed that she had opportunity now, but a deathbed confession didn't exactly seem like the right time.

Nirrti had hidden them deep in the recesses of her hideout, and the team was guarded by unbeatable foes. Creatures that the Goa'uld goddess had made to protect her, each with a different ability. SG1 would easily be overpowered in a fight, not that she had much strength left in her anyway. Which brought her back to her original point; She was dying. Her scientific mind analyzed the process, and she spoke aloud in a cold, removed voice.

"First I'll go into convulsions." Jack looked up sharply at the sound of her voice, and listened as she continued.

"There will be pressure on my cells, and they will instantaneously burst open."

"Stop it." Jack spoke in his best commanding voice. Even Teal'c looked up and watched her with concern. Sam kept speaking in that same tone, eyes glazed.

"The human body is ninety percent water already. As soon as the transformation is complete, I'll be dead."

"Stop it!" Jack demanded, louder this time. He pulled her up from where she was laying on the cot and held on to her shoulders. "What are you doing?!"

She ignored him, looking past him, eyes dead. "I figure it'll be another couple of hours before my body becomes fully liquid. The outer skin will be the last to go, and when it explodes, I'll go with it."

"Stop it, Sam!" He shook her, forcing her to look at him. "You're. *Not*. Going. To. Die."

He spoke each word harshly, shaking her for emphasis, trying to bring her out of her trance-like state. She couldn't die yet. He wouldn't let her. If she died, he would too, long before Nirrti had a chance to lay a hand on him. He had never had a chance to even kiss her when she would remember it. Excluding alien viruses. And as he saw the words her lips were forming, telling him in no uncertain terms that she would soon be dead, it took all his strength to resist the impulse to capture those lips with his own.

She shook her head slightly, and her eyes cleared. As she focused in on the sight before her, she did a double-take. She had rarely seen her commanding officer like he was now; Bent forward grasping her arms tightly, muscles rippling, and all nerves on end. His eyes showed just how seriously shaken he had been by her words and manner.

"Colonel?" His eyes narrowed as he watched her closely, satisfied when he saw the clear look in her blue eyes.

"You're not going to die, Carter." He spoke matter-of-factly, trying to convince himself as well as her.

"What if I do?" She whispered, very aware of the tight grasp that he still held on her shoulders.

"You won't." He wouldn't allow himself to think about that possibility. He needed to be able to focus on how to get his team out of there, not on how he would survive if she didn't.

"I'm changing." Sam whispered. "You saw what happened to...." She winced, closing her eyes tighly as a fresh wave of pain wracked her body.

Jack looked at her, forehead creasing as he tried to offer some small comfort.

"It's okay. It'll be okay. I'll get us out of this." He moved his hands slowly down to her elbows and then back up again, trying to soothe her, and quite enjoying the chance to touch her. Of course, the opportunity only came when they were about to die, so maybe it wasn't so great after all.

His hands were burning into her skin, even through her jacket, and Sam leant forward into his arms, and his subsequent embrace.

"It hurts." She admitted softly.

Jack wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her to him, one hand moving through her hair in a comforting fashion. Her words scared him, for he knew how badly she must feel to admit a weakness.

"Shh." He whispered, mouth close to her ear. Her head was resting on his chest, and he was turned slightly to be able to hold her. As much as he wanted to stay in that position, though, he knew that he had to try to get her help.

"Where are you going?" Jack could detect a hint of a whimper in her voice as he moved. He gently laid her down on her back as he stood up.

"I'm going to talk to Agar. Get some rest." He watched her for a moment, then went to the door of the cage.

"Hey, Agar. Agar!" Agar moved silently out of the shadows.

"Tell Nirrti to take me next." Jack said when he saw then man walk forward.

"One does not tell a goddess what to do."

"Please." Jack had a pleading tone as he looked back at his Major, moaning slightly from the pain. "Carter needs help or she'll die. Just take me to Nirrti."

When he received no response he became angry, hitting his hand against the steel bars.

"Oh come on, you can read my mind! Just help me save her!"

Agar contemplated this for a moment and then spoke. "They will be bringing the one called Jonas back soon. When he returns, perhaps you can be next." He lowered his voice. "I will try, O'Neill."

"Thank you." Jack walked back over to be with Sam, and sat down on the ground, allowing her the room to stretch out.

"Would you hold me?" She asked him hesitantly. The logical side of her knew that it wasn't an appropriate thing to ask, but at the moment she didn't care. She would die soon anyway, and what would regulations matter then? Jack stood and carefully helped her sit up, quickly sliding in behind her, his arms wrapping themselves around her shaking form. Planting a chaste kiss in her hair, he tightened his hold. These would not be the last moments that he had with her. They couldn't be. He had never been good at expressing emotion, but he knew that, as big of a cliche that it would be, now would be the moment to tell her that he loved her. But he couldn't. It would be giving up, accepting that she would die, and he wouldn't do that. To whisper the words now would be to acknowledge that they weren't going to make it out alive. And so he remained silent.

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Nirrti had called for the Colonel next. Jack was torn between wanting to see the Goa'uld, to try and save the others, or wanting to be with Sam. Terrified that she would be gone when he returned, he walked up the steps to see Nirrti. He would offer himself for anything she wanted if only she'd save his Major. After all, the Asgard had said he was advanced; maybe he would be just what the snakehead was looking for. Maybe Sam still had hope.

He would do it. Agar had decided to take the risk and look into the mind of his goddess. He had made the final decision as he heard the stranger offer himself, if only Nirrti would heal Carter and let his team go. Seeing his mind free of deceit, Agar focused on Nirrti, eye's widening as he learned the truth. Relaying the information to his comrade, Nirrti soon lay dead. But the human still agonized. He took some pleasure in the Goa'ulds demise, but he had known that she was the last hope for his teammates life. The voice was quiet, spirit broken as he questioned the man responsible for her death.

"Why'd you do that? She was Carter's only chance."

"Not so O'Neill." Agar was quick to reassure him that all was well, that he knew how to fix the damage done.

Jack hurried down to the cage, praying that he wouldn't be too late. Practically sprinting into the cage she was in, he gently scooped her up, surprised by her lightness.

"You're gonna be okay." He whispered to her as he carried her up the stairs. Having been freed by the natives, Teal'c and Jonas followed the Colonel up to the main room, anxious for news of their friend.

Sam was vaguely aware of being held, and tried to burrow her head into the warmth of her comforter, anything to escape from the pain.

"Jack." She whispered softly, sure of who was holding her.

"Shh." He whispered back. "I'm here."

Agar instructed him to place her into the machine, and Jack tenderly helped to stand her up. With the machine turned on, she was held in place, and Jack watched with bated breath, as did his other team members. Agar worked quickly, and soon announced that he was done. Sam was able to step off of the stand without help, a fact that Jack was only semi-grateful for.

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As they walked back to the gate, Jonas recounted his experience with Nirrti. Creepy, was pretty much how he summed it up. The others agreed with his assessment, all wishing that they didn't have *that* image in their mind. Sam wasn't surprised that Jonas had been 'different'; they had discovered that on Earth soon after his arrival.

"So what happened while I was gone?" Jonas asked them, looking between them. Jack stole a quick look at the Major and then spoke.

"The Colonel, uh, 'burst', and Carter got sick from Nirrti's machine."

"Oh." Nothing he hadn't already been told. He could, however, feel an undercurrent between the two officers, and felt that there was something being left out of Jack's narrative. He always missed the good stuff. Maybe Teal'c would tell him later.

Jack and Sam walked the rest of the way in relative silence, content to let Jonas do the talking. They didn't look at each other; didn't need to, to know what the other was thinking about. They were safe and alive, and that was all that mattered. They would live to fight again, more than aware that one day, they might not be so lucky. They had been saved by the actions of a sympathetic native. Again. But they would continue to play the odds, hoping that they would always come out the victor. Once upon a time Sam would have tried to play down their 'moment' in her mind, but not anymore. If Daniels death had taught her anything, it was that none of them were invincible. So she would remember the feelings she had felt while being in her Colonel's strong arms. She would remember the concern she had seen in his eyes. And she would *enjoy* the memories, not try and explain them away. Still, whatever had happened between them would be left on this planet, just like everything else had been left on it's respective planet, or room. They would never speak about it; it had happened, and that would have to be enough.

The End




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