This was the first time since he had left that she was actually glad he was gone. Though she suspected he knew about her feelings toward her commanding officer, Jonas- even after a year of being on SG-1- didn't always know when *not* to say something. And since he noticed everything, well, she was sure he would have mentioned it at some point. The look on her face at seeing the picture had not gone unnoticed by her teammates.
A family. They had been a family. Over seven years ago now, but still. That he kept a picture of them that close said a lot about a man who didn't show much. It was funny really, how glad she had been to see pictures of Charlie start to appear other places- his locker, his living room, his desk. But the picture of him with Charlie and Sara (it did *not* hurt to think her name), next to his bed, was unnerving for some reason. Maybe even a little depressing. Did that make her a bad person? At least it wasn't a picture of some other woman. Someone they hadn't met or didn't even know about. But it would have been nice to see a picture of them- of SG-1- there, too. They were his family now, after all.
So, as she made her way to Daniel's room nearly three days later, she was relieved to know that he - descended, ascended, or somewhere in between- would at least have the common courtesy to leave it the heck alone. Rapping on his door and hearing the familiar voice tell her to 'come in,' she relaxed her usual defenses and was glad to be picking up her old friend on the way to grab some lunch. Things were normal again. Or at least as normal as they got.
He was making some last minute notes on a tablet on his desk, and he gestured for her to sit down on the bed while he barely muttered 'just a minute' between scribbles. Her eyes were drawn to a picture of Shau're that Daniel had on his nightstand. She wondered how in the world he had gotten a picture of her to begin with, but guessed someone must have snuck a camera to Abydos on one of the trips. Sam was again taken by how beautiful she was and hoped that Daniel remembered all of their times together by now.
As if reading her thoughts, Daniel put his pencil down and turned around to face Sam, still staring at the picture, "She was really something."
"I wish I would have known her better." She dragged her eyes away from the framed photo and watched Daniel eye the picture with a mixture of regret and love.
"Do you think it's odd?" He still hadn't met her gaze.
"Do I think what's odd?" She studied his face for some kind of clue as to what he was saying.
"I mean, she's be gone... for awhile now, and I still want her to be the first thing I look at in the morning and the last thing I see before I go to bed."
Sam shook her head, "You loved her, Daniel. A part of you always will. She's part of your past, and that makes you who you are today."
He swung back around toward his desk, let out a heavy sigh and turned off his desk lamp. The conversation seemingly dropped, he stood, and much to Sam's surprise, sat next to her on the bed.
"I don't remember everything yet. I mean I know who Shau're was and what she meant to me, but there are still things that are blurred in my mind."
"I can't imagine what that's like for you."
He nodded, and spoke a little more quietly, "There is someone else I have feelings for now."
Oh God! She thought she had set him straight the first day they found him! He couldn't still think there was something between them. "Daniel, look, I thought I explained-"
"Sarah. That's her name. The most beautiful red hair. And an accent. I remember an accent."
Mentally breathing a sigh of relief, Sam let him continue. She felt as if there was more he needed to get off his chest.
"I think she had feelings for me, too. More than friends, I mean. I wish we would have gotten the opportunity to-"
"Don't say that Daniel. If she's still alive somewhere out there, we might be able to find her. To bring Sarah back. It's possible- you know it could happen."
He also knew it was far more likely to end in her death, or his while trying to rescue her, but there was still hope. "I wonder what she would think."
He had lost her again, "Think of what?"
"That I had Shau're's picture here. On my nightstand. When I have feelings for Sarah."
Ah. So apparently descended Daniel wasn't able to leave things alone any better than Jonas. She wondered briefly if Kelowna needed another archeologist/linguist on staff. Turning her eyes back toward the picture, she remembered the few times she had seen Shau're. She hadn't known her very well at all, but by all accounts, she had been a warm, wonderful person. Full of love. Of life. Someone who certainly didn't deserve to have tragedy sweep so quickly through her life. Someone that deserved to be remembered and treasured by a man as special as Daniel.
And then she thought about Sarah. A woman, who again, she knew *of* but didn't really know at all. Maybe all she needed to know was that Daniel had feelings for her, and perhaps she for him. He would never waste his love on a woman that wasn't compassionate and understanding and generous with her heart. Of course she would accept Shau're as part of his life. His soul. And his past. To do anything less would mean that she didn't love all of him. And she did. With her whole heart.
And when had this stopped being about Daniel and Shau're and Sarah? Or maybe it never was.
Sam shifted her body on the bed so that she could look Daniel in the face. She saw eyes glistening with tears that mirrored her own. And she hugged him. The love of a sister for a brother. Both of whom were waiting and hoping for a future they might never have. And who, at least for the moment, had found comfort in the arms of a friend.
*****
Story Notes: Pairings: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Shau're, Daniel/Sarah
Content Warnings: none
Season/sequel: Set in S7 after Fragile Balance
Spoilers: Up through Fragile Balance
Archive: SJD & whoever wants to- just let me know!
Author's notes: This is for Moon. Something I didn't say last night, and should have, was that it would have been nice if at some point after the divorce, my dad had been able to put up a picture of me and my mom. But he could never get past his own hurt and anger. My guess is that's why he's recently gotten divorced again. This is my way of saying Jack's better than that. And that the picture really means a lot of good things for him and Sam someday. And as hubby put it, as soon as he's getting some from Carter, he'll put the picture away.
Feedback: Please!
Date: 21-6-2003
Content Warnings: none
Season/sequel: Set in S7 after Fragile Balance
Spoilers: Up through Fragile Balance
Archive: SJD & whoever wants to- just let me know!
Author's notes: This is for Moon. Something I didn't say last night, and should have, was that it would have been nice if at some point after the divorce, my dad had been able to put up a picture of me and my mom. But he could never get past his own hurt and anger. My guess is that's why he's recently gotten divorced again. This is my way of saying Jack's better than that. And that the picture really means a lot of good things for him and Sam someday. And as hubby put it, as soon as he's getting some from Carter, he'll put the picture away.
Feedback: Please!
Date: 21-6-2003
End Notes: We don't know what the end will look like for Sam and Jack, but at least we have each other! Feedback goes to lisayaeger@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]