samandjack.net

Story Notes: SPOILERS: None

SEASON/SEQUEL INFO: Season Six

DATE: 27th December, 2002

ARCHIVED: SJA, Jackfic, Carterfic

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Another response to the Sam-Jack list Christmas Challenge. Rules are as follows: start with the dialogue, "What do you mean that's not allowed?"; contain NO MENTION of "regulations"; contain LOTS of tinsel; have Jonas as a member of SG1 (though Daniel can certainly make an appearance); and have a Sam/Jack kiss.

And the big question is: does Daniel make an appearance? You decide.


"What do you mean 'That's not allowed'?"

Jack swallowed and tried to keep his eyes above her neck. The glitter of tinsel garlands kept distracting him. *Don't kid yourself, Jack. It's not the tinsel you're staring at, is it?* "Carter, of the two of us, you've always been the circumspect one..."

She shifted on the bed and parts of Jack sat up and drooled in spite of his best efforts to make them sit and stay.

"...what's going on?"

Her eyes should have been listed as weapons. She'd never intentionally used them as such, but they could freeze a man at...two yards. And if there were any other men noticing the size of her eyes from two yards away as she lay on their bed in nothing more than artfully-draped tinsel garlands, they'd be dead anyway because Jack was going to kill them. Slowly.

"Nothing's going on." Sam pouted. "That's the problem." Damn, the woman had the most adorable pout...

*Remember to breathe! Remember to breathe! Lungs take air, blood gets oxygen, blood circulates around body... Yeeeeeesh... But not down there...shiiiiit...*

He was in trouble.

"I think...I think...you should probably put some clothing on. Carter. Now."

She eased herself off the bed, the tinsel rustling against her skin. *Don't think about her skin...* And sashayed her way over to him. Sashayed was the only word for it...legs...hips...

*Oh God!*

Jack choked as she pressed him up against the wall. He would have pushed her away but there was nowhere to put his hands.

Or rather, there was nowhere to put his hands which didn't involve handling parts of her body that he'd love to handle if he wasn't in his right mind and she was, but he was and she wasn't and he *so* did *not* want to go there.

Or rather, he did but he didn't.

And if that didn't confuse him then nothing ever would!

She - or parts of her - were pressing against his chest. Her hips were rubbing against his groin.

Then she kissed him.

It was a big, wet, slobbery kiss and definitely *not* what he'd expected.

Surely Carter's tongue wasn't that big and sloppy?

Jack yelped, twisted out of her embrace...and landed on the floor with a thud.

The first thing he noticed was the lack of carpet.

The second was the lack of conversation.

The third was the gruff panting of Jack-the-dog and the wet slurp the dog gave him.

A moment later, a pair of knees knelt down beside him and pushed Jack-the-dog aside. "Jack, are you okay?"

Jack hauled himself halfway up before he decided to leave his lower half in contact with the cool wooden floorboards. Floorboards might not be so good to land on, but they did wonders for the over-active libido.

Pity they couldn't do something about his over-active imagination.

Cassie was still looking at him with concern. "Maybe I should get Mom? She and Sam are out on the porch..."

"No." Jack managed. The last person he needed to see right now was Carter especially after... Oh boy. He decided he'd stay where he was - at least until the chill of the floorboards had worked their calming magic on him. "I'm fine. Just a...little surprised."

"Jack-the-dog thought it would be funny to climb up on you," Cassie explained with a wry smile. "I only noticed when I heard you fall. You sure you're okay?"

He gave her a questioning look, "I'm not about to break into little pieces, Cassie."

"Oh, I know. But Mom and Sam said your knees have been giving you trouble and it can't be helping them to be lying on the floor. Want a hand up?"

Jack did a mental inventory and discovered that, yes, things were definitely on the shrink. He accepted Cassie's hand and felt his old bones creak as she hauled him up with a strong arm. "Ouch. Where is everyone anyway?"

"Well, when they saw you'd fallen asleep on the couch, they snuck outside so they wouldn't make too much noise." Cassie grinned. "But it was okay - Teal'c and Jonas were trying to make Mom and Sam laugh with Jaffa jokes and jokes from Kelowna."

"Oh, now *that* would be a *riot*," Jack said dryly, thinking of his past experience with Jaffa jokes. "Did they laugh?"

"Nope." The grin got broader. "I think Jonas was a bit put out."

Yeah, Jonas would be put out. He tried so hard to fit in, to not be the 'outsider', but somehow managed to miss the fact that his team-mates - and the SGC - had gradually come to accept him as one of them. Even if he was 'weird'.

And, if Jack was honest with himself, it had sometimes been very funny watching Jonas try to fit in. Nothing beat hands-on, real-life experience - and you couldn't learn that from watching TV or reading books.

"Are they actually funny jokes? Jonas's jokes, I mean."

"Kinda." Cassie pondered a moment. "They're more...puns. Language humour - not humour humour. Wanna come outside and find out for yourself?" Jack didn't particularly want to, but what was he going to do in here? Go back to sleep and dream of...

Crap. He was going outside. Cold air. Snow. Carter. Lots more cold air and snow... *Heaps* of cold air and snow...

And he wasn't sure he'd be able to look at tinsel garlands the same again.

Cassie looked up at him critically as he indicated that she should lead the way. "Your hair's sticking up all over the place, you know." A teenager's typical concern for appearances.

"Well, unless you're willing to style it for me...?"

She gave him a look that she must have learned from Janet. It didn't *quite* say, 'You are so gonna get needles the next time you go through post-gate' but it came close. Since impending needles were not a big worry with Cassie, he just grinned and followed her outside.

Carter and the Doc were perched on the railing, leaning sideways against a porch pole each with a backdrop of winter-white snowy street behind them. There were kids having snowball fights out in the late afternoon grey. Jonas and Teal'c were sitting in the loveseat.

There was a general air of midafternoon lassitude - the kind that struck when too much had been eaten and the body was feeling lethargic.

Carter was staring at him.

"What?" He demanded.

Her mouth quirked in a little smile. "Your hair is sticking up."

His hand made it halfway to his scalp before he realised that he was preening himself. Then, because his hand was already half up there, he scrubbed his fingers through his hair and grumbled. "I'll bet your hair doesn't look all that hot when you first get up in the morning."

But he'd bet that whatever the state of her hair first thing in the morning, she'd still manage to look...like Sam Carter.

She grinned deeper. "Wouldn't you love to know?"

It was an off-the-hand comment, doubtless inspired by too much good food, too much rummy eggnog, and maybe a glass too many of fine red wine. Carter didn't lay down those kinds of challenges sober.

And Jack didn't take them up. Ever.

Carter evidently realised exactly what she'd said since her lips snapped shut over the tail of her sentence and she flushed and looked away.

Janet coughed.

Cassie laughed. "You should see yourselves. You're as red as beets."

Jack glared at the teenager and opened his mouth to say something witty and humourous back...

And a snowball sailed past his nose and smashed into the porch wall.

"Whoops!" giggled a little voice from the pathway. "Sorry, Mister! That was meant for Cassie!"

"Hey, Hank," Cassie said, smiling at the young boy who had ventured up the path. He was about nine or ten years old, pink-faced and a little breathless.

"Hey Miz Fraiser!" The kid waved at Janet, obviously known to the Doc. "Come play snowball fights with us, Cass!"

Cassie glanced over at 'her' guests, and hesitated, probably mindful of her nearly grown-up dignity.

Jack quirked a smile at her, "If she doesn't want to play, kiddo, I'll join in." His joints would suffer for it later, but he could do with some fun and laughter today of all days.

Small eyes grew to the size of saucers as the kid took in Jack's six-foot frame. "Wow, Mister! You're on my team!"

"I think that constitutes unfair advantage, Jack!" Cassie laughed. "Teal'c? You might have to balance out the teams."

"I'll join in," Jonas offered, enthusiastically. It was probably his first snowball fight, Jack thought with wry amusement.

"I shall also participate." Teal'c looked very funny with a multicoloured beanie on his head. His expression was quite sober, his hat was not.

"Carter, Doc?"

The women looked at each other. "I think that Sam and I will go inside and bring out some hot chocolate for you when you've exhausted yourselves."

Jack shrugged, half-smiling. "Your loss."

"Have fun, sir," Carter tossed at his back as he walked out to the street and began surveying the 'teams'.

By silent agreement, he and Cassie were on one team, while Teal'c and Jonas were on the other. Technically, the other team was at a slight disadvantage since neither Teal'c nor Jonas really understood the concept of snowball fights - especially not organised ones.

Over the next half-hour, Jack ran and dodged and allowed himself to be caught by snowballs, showed Jonas how to make snowballs that would hold together while flying but which would disintegrate on impact, and got quite thoroughly cold in the process.

Quite *thoroughly* cold.

It had been a few years since Jack had played games in the snow with kids.

Kids like Charlie.

He didn't usually hang around children - it hurt too much to remember what he'd had and what he'd lost. The ache had never quite gone away - like phantom pain, it lingered long after the bitter poison of Charlie's death was gone.

This morning, Jack had woken up and once again felt the pang of lost son and lost family, lost chances and lost history. And then he'd doused his face with cold water, reminded himself that although he might not have Charlie and Sara anymore, he had friends who weren't about to let him spend Christmas Day in the bottom of a bottle of bourbon whiskey.

The children were getting tired, quite a few had retreated to behind the 'barricade' and were just making snowballs.

Jack stood a little way away and surveyed the mayhem with a smile.

Until a snowball wiped it from his face.

It was a dead-on hit and smushed perfectly across his features with breathtaking chill.

If Jack had been the one to throw that snowball, he would have been celebrating. As he was the victim, not the perpetrator, he wiped it from his face and began scanning the small fighters to see who the culprit was.

And realised something was wrong as he found himself in the middle of a circle of grinning children.

The next moment he was pelted with snowballs from all sides. Face, shoulders, chest, back, arms, stomach - one enterprising snowball even managed to hit his groin, causing a slight jolt to his privates. Some thudded, some smushed, some didn't even reach him. Enough did.

Once the deluge stopped, Jack opened one eye cautiously and found Teal'c grinning - a full-faced, ear-splitting, I-just-told-a-Jaffa-joke grin - at him a few yards away. "Was that you?"

"It was, O'Neill."

"If it wasn't for the fact that I'm such a nice person, I'd kick your ass for that!"

"Were it not for the fact that I would soundly beat you should you attempt such a thing, I should say that you would, O'Neill."

Jonas and Cassie snickered and Jack turned, about to give them the letter of the law...

"If you're all finished running about, Janet is serving some hot chocolate on the porch." Carter stopped a few feet away from them, hands on her hips, smile on her lips.

Led by Cassie, the kids ran for the hot chocolate, streaming past and around Jack, Teal'c, and Carter in a miniature flood. Jonas followed after - the lure of food was far too strong for his hungry little heart. Teal'c clapped a hand on Jack's shoulder and strode up to claim his share of the hot chocolate.

Carter glanced over her shoulder at the melee, then turned back, grinning at his snowy state. "Been having fun?" The question was light, but something in the tone of her voice reminded Jack of his dream.

"Loads," he said dryly, brushing himself off. As he turned, trying to get the snow off his back, Carter stepped forward and dusted the back of his down jacket off with swift, brisk strokes. "Why do they gang up on me all the time?"

She didn't quite dimple, but it came close. "Because you're so easy to gang up on, sir?"

He snorted, "Yeah. I'm a real pushover." They began to meander up the path from the street to the house. "Had a good Christmas, Carter?"

"Yes."

"Got everything you wanted?"

"Most of it."

"Is this going to be one of those conversations where you give me one-syllable answers, Carter?"

"No, sir." Her eyes twinkled sideways at him. "I've had a lovely day. It's a nice change of pace from Mark and Diana's place. And I didn't really want to spend the day with Mark glowering over why Dad couldn't make it."

"Well, I'm glad you stayed." And he was.

Her mouth quirked a little. "Are you glad *you* came, sir? When Janet issued the invite, you looked like you wanted to refuse."

He had. But between Janet's comment that Cassie was looking forward to it, and Jonas' sheer enthusiasm for the day (his first Christmas), and *maybe* the knowledge that Carter was going to be there, he'd decided to come along.

And he'd enjoyed himself. Even in the dream, panicking as she put the moves on him...

Probably best to stop that thought up there.

"I...Yeah. I'm glad."

As they wandered up the path and under the outspread bare arms of a tree in the Doc's front yard, a sharp gust of wind caught at him and his foot slipped sideways, causing him to stumble against her. She caught his arm and tried to steady him. It was a precarious few seconds as they readjusted their balances, trying to work out how to stay standing. Even once he was upright, she held onto his sleeve a second or two longer than necessary. "You okay, sir?"

"Sure." Her proximity was a little disturbing - as was his inability to keep the memory of his dream out of his mind. He carefully didn't look at her, but glanced up at the grey sky. "We might be in for some snow later, though."

She glanced up. "Jonas was saying earlier that the forecast was for snow on late Christmas Day. I guess they were right on track."

"Hey, you guys! Are you coming for...oooh!" Cassie's exclamation made them both look towards the house. Her gaze seemed a little off as she grinned at them. It went over their heads rather than meeting their puzzled - and a little worried - gazes.

"Mistletoe!" One of the children squeaked, pointing above their heads. "Are you gonna kiss her, mister Jack?"

As one, they looked at each other and glanced up at the tree branch over their heads. Sure enough, there was a small bit of mistletoe caught in the tree above them.

*Oh, crap!*

It wasn't the kiss. Not at all. It was...the circumstances. The ones that meant that they shouldn't kiss.

"Kiss...kiss...kiss...kiss..." chanted a couple of the girls enthusiastically, and the boys gave them a single, somewhat disgusted look, then apparently decided to join in anyway.

The Doc looked like she'd just swallowed a can of worms, Teal'c had the slightest of smiles on his face, and both Cassie and Jonas were grinning like idiots.

Jack swallowed hard. "It's tradition," he said softly to her, and was proud of the way his voice didn't wobble.

Carter gave him a quick, brief, uncomfortable smile. "Tradition," she agreed. She looked about as nervous as he felt.

Tradition dictated a kiss. Jack planned on a brief chaste one on the mouth. A mere peck - nothing else.

Some wicked impulse took hold of him as he lowered his lips the bare inch or so required to reach hers, and he dipped her.

Nobody but him and Teal'c would ever remember that other kiss.

She would remember this one.

Her lashes fluttered down and her hand came up to wrap around his neck - not because she necessarily wanted to deepen the kiss, of course - just to keep her balance. And he felt the smile on her lips and his fingers curled around her nape in silent caress.

Jack doubted they'd ever have the kind of relationship his subconscious mind insisted on dreaming for him from time to time. He doubted they'd ever have the chance for anything more.

But they'd have this much.

One Christmas kiss.

* * *



End Notes: feedback appreciated

You must login (register) to review.