She desperately needed to make good her escape before her team mates, and especially her CO, could comment on the scene that they'd all just witnessed.
Sam's emotions were in a complete turmoil. She'd just witnessed her 'alternate' self kissing her CO, the man who, in Dr. Carter's universe, was her recently deceased husband! Sam didn't know what to think, what to say, but an insistent voice was shouting silently inside her. 'It should have been me, it should have been me!' Now where on earth had that come from? She needed to think, to get away from the questioning, amused glances. She needed to hide.
"Carter"
She heard the familiar voice calling her but she turned a deaf ear, walking more quickly still, on the verge of an outright run.
"Carter, wait up" O'Neill was being persistent; she could hear his footsteps now, rapidly approaching from around the corner.
Not knowing where else to go, she ducked inside the first room that she came to, closing the door quietly behind her, She leaned against the door trying to calm her breathing that sounded deafening to her ears. She could hear O'Neill clearly now, he must have stopped just outside.
"Carter" he called out once more, then the sound of footsteps retreated, leaving only the sound of her own breathing to break the silence.
As she regained her composure, and her rapidly beating heart slowed to a more normal rate, Sam took in her surroundings. She was in a small store, certainly not the most comfortable of places to hide out. Then she had an idea. Opening the door a crack and checking that the corridor was clear, she quickly left the room and climbed the few flights of stairs to the level of the VIP rooms. The one that Dr. Carter had occupied should still be open and no one would think to look for her there. She felt a compelling need to try and get closer to the woman who was her 'alter ego'. Maybe this would help.
Sam slipped inside the room and sat down on the bed. There were still faint traces of the previous occupant's perfume on the air. Perfume was something that Sam very rarely had the chance to wear, but she liked this light fragrance. Still, she guessed, that wasn't at all surprising. They were the same person, after all, with, presumably very similar likes and dislikes. 'Well the same taste in men, apparently' Sam thought.
If time had permitted, it would have been a fascinating experiment to see how alike they truly were. To find out how much of what they had become was as a result of their genetic make-up or their environment.
Sam shook her head. Could she really imagine not having joined the military? No, she didn't think so. And, the rules not withstanding, she definitely preferred her hair short! But she was prevaricating and she knew it. She hadn't sought out this hiding place to ponder the relative merits of short versus long hair, or even the military versus civilian life. She'd come here to to try and sort out her feelings for Jack O'Neill.
Feelings? The fact that she'd even contemplate the notion that she could, and did, feel more for him than the normal respect and admiration due a senior officer, came as something of a shock to her.
She tried to think about things dispassionately, but this was the second time now that this had happened. In the alternate reality that Daniel had encountered through the mirror, she and O'Neill had been engaged; this time they had been married. Both times they'd been doomed.
"Huh, I think someone's trying to tell me something" she murmured to herself "but what's the most significant thing here? That the Colonel and I are somehow 'meant' for each other, or that that if we 'do' get together then Earth is destined to be overrun by Apophis?
She shook her head. She was confused and Sam Carter didn't like confusion, it certainly wasn't a feeling with which she was comfortable. She urged herself to take the scientific, rather than the emotional, approach to the problem. So what were the facts? She ticked them off on her fingers:
One - She was in the military; Jack O'Neill was her CO. Ergo no relationship, other than the one they presently enjoyed, was possible.
Two - In two alternate realities she had been romantically attached to said Colonel/General O'Neill.
Three - In both alternate realities Earth had been attacked by the System Lord Apophis.
Four- In 'both' alternate realities O'Neill had been killed. (Here Sam felt a sharp jolt to her heart).
Five - In neither alternate reality had Daniel Jackson or Teal'c been a part of the SGC.
Six - In 'this' reality which, let's face it, was the only one that mattered to her - Apophis was dead - wasn't he?
So what was the crucial factor here? That she and O'Neill getting together somehow doomed Earth? Highly unlikely in every sense, she thought. Or was it the presence of Daniel and Teal'c that made the essential difference to the successful overthrow of Apophis in this reality? Sam took an inordinate amount of comfort from this, in her opinion, much more likely scenario. But her mind was still in a whirl and she still hadn't addressed the most important and fundamental question.
'What were her real feelings for Jack O'Neill?' If she truly thought of him as only her Commanding Officer, or as her friend even, then why had her heart beat so painfully against her ribs when she witnessed that kiss? Why did she wish, with all her being, that it could have been her in his arms, felling his lips on hers, his hands stroking her hair?
She felt her cheeks flush at the realisation that she really wanted Jack O'Neill, not just as her CO, not even as a friend, but as much, much more. Oh, God - how had this happened? How could she have let it happen? And it must be her, for in all honesty she had to admit that there had been no sign that O'Neill thought of her in any way other than his 2IC. Sometimes she wasn't even sure whether he thought of her as a woman at all. It was all more than she could cope with at present. She was so tired. She'd been working non-stop for goodness knew how long. Absently she lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. She'd rest - just for a few minutes.
*****************************
Jack quietly opened the door and poked his head into the room. There she was; it had taken him ages to track her down. His Sam was lying on the bed in the VIP room. She appeared to be asleep.
'Wait a minute - his Sam? Now where had that idea come from?' He shook his head. 'Aw c'mon O'Neill' he thought 'quit trying to fool yourself. You know very well that if it wasn't for the fact that both your careers would effectively be over if you were ever found out, you'd be in there like a shot - given a little encouragement that is. Like it or not, you've had the 'hots' for Sam Carter for a helluva long time now. Dr. Carter said that you didn't even think of your Carter that way - but she'd been wrong - it wasn't that you didn't think that way, but that you couldn't 'let' yourself. It was a subtle but significant difference.
Jack quietly crossed the room and gazed down upon the sleeping woman. She was beautiful and desirable, this he'd acknowledged to himself long ago. Recently, however, he knew that his feelings had undergone a change, a radical change. He realised that he was actually falling in love with her.
After the disaster that his marriage to Sara had become since the death of Charlie, O'Neill had vowed never to get emotionally involved with anyone again. The experiences of the past couple of years had put paid to that. Now he had dear friends for whom he cared deeply, probably more than they would ever know. Then there was Carter, who somehow, without even trying, had wormed her way into his heart until he couldn't imagine his life without her. He knew that there could be no immediate future together for them, but those other realities had at least shown him that his feelings weren't misplaced. He now knew that, given the opportunity, the attraction between himself and Carter would be strong and mutual. Holding Dr. Carter in his arms, kissing her, had been nice - very nice - but the spark wasn't there. She wasn't 'his' Sam, anymore than he was 'her' Jack.
There was a movement from the bed, Sam mumbled something he couldn't quite catch, and then opened her eyes. At first they had the cloudy, slightly unfocussed look of the newly awoken, but they soon cleared and a slight flash of panic appeared.
"Oh my God, Sir. I'm so sorry...I didn't mean..." She gabbled.
"Major, calm down, it's okay. Calm down."
She virtually leaped off the bed, however, and darted for the door as if she couldn't bear to be in the same room with him.
"Carter, stop!" he used his 'command' tone of voice, which effectively stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned to face him.
"Sir?"
"C'mere, sit down" Jack indicated that she should sit on the bed. She didn't have much choice but to obey him. He sat down next to her.
"You ran away," he stated baldly. Sam looked anywhere but at her CO. "Look Carter, If I embarrassed you then I'm sorry. It was an awkward situation, I didn't have much choice."
"Yeah, I noticed how much of a fight you put up" Sam muttered.
"Hey!" Jack exploded "She kissed me, ya know"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Carter, she wasn't you, so why are you getting so upset?"
"I am 'not' upset"
"Yes you are!" they were almost shouting now. Sam jumped up off the bed but Jack caught her arm, preventing her escape. He could see that she 'was' really upset, there were tears glistening on her eyelashes and threatening to fall.
"Sam" he said quietly "come on, sit down. We need to clear the air here and get things straight between us."
She finally looked directly at him, nodded briefly, and sat back down. Jack slid his hand down her arm and clasped her hand in his.
"It didn't 'mean' anything Sam" he said quietly "she wasn't 'you', anymore than I was 'her' Jack. D'you understand?"
"I guess" Sam said reluctantly.
"Look Carter, I'm sorry if you feel that I've somehow invaded your privacy. I quite understand that you might feel that I was, in some odd way, taking advantage of the situation - but it wasn't 'you'. No matter how much she looked like you, sounded like you - hell she even smelled like you - but she wasn't. It was...different."
"Different...how?" Sam whispered.
Jack sighed. "Aw, what the hell" he muttered. Turning slightly towards her he held her gaze and, releasing her hand, slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her close.
"No matter what happened in those other realities, this is the only one that matters. This is the only thing that's important," he said quietly.
He stroked her cheek gently with the back of his hand, feeling her tremble at his touch. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. He briefly brushed his lips across hers, eliciting a small moan, before capturing them fully. The kiss was long, lingering and tender, quite unlike his experience with Dr. Carter. Finally, a little breathless, he pulled back, breaking contact. For a brief moment Sam swayed toward him, then she shook herself slightly and opened her eyes. Fearing she might still run, Jack kept his arm around her.
"Now that was reality, Carter. That was you and me. Forget the rest. No one could be sorrier than I am that we're in this situation" he caressed her cheek once more "but you know, as well as I, that for the moment there are more important things at stake."
It seemed an age before Sam finally spoke.
"Yes...of course. Sir"
"Sir" Jack nodded, a sad wry smile on his face "okay, and perhaps, one day, when this is all over - well maybe we'll make it three out of three for the Carter/O'Neill alliance, whaddya say?"
Sam nodded and smiled "Yes Sir". Impulsively she leant forward and kissed him briefly. "Thank you Jack" she whispered, and left him, her heart a little lighter and with the hope that their possible future together wouldn't be too far away.
"We'll do, Carter" Jack said quietly to the empty room "and one day, well those alternate realities can't all be wrong - can they?"
THE END
Story Notes: Season: Three
Spoilers: Point of View
Archive: SJD, yes
Author's Notes: Having just bought Season Three on DVD and re-watched POV for the first time in two years, I just had to write my version of an epilogue scene. I know that there are lots of these in the archive but I 'had' to do it.
Spoilers: Point of View
Archive: SJD, yes
Author's Notes: Having just bought Season Three on DVD and re-watched POV for the first time in two years, I just had to write my version of an epilogue scene. I know that there are lots of these in the archive but I 'had' to do it.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]