Story Notes: EMAIL:

WARNINGS: Some language.

ARCHIVE: SJA and Heliopolis. Others please ask.

FEEDBACK: Yes, pleeeeaaaaassssse, feeeeeeeedbaaccccckkk. No flames though because it is my first attempt at fic.

SPOILERS: The Serpents Lair, In the Line of Duty, Forever in a Day, Jolinar’s Memories, The Devil you Know, Pretense.

Also, the lyrics to ‘Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely’ by the Backstreet Boys were used without permission and if they ever read it (hehehe, not very likely) and want me to remove them I will.

AUTHORS NOTES: This is my very first attempt at fic so I really hope everyone enjoys it and sends me loads of feedback. And now onto some serious thanking. I really can’t thank my brilliant beta reader Dustdevil enough for all her time, support and her encouragement to get me to sit down and write this fic. Without all her support and help, there really would be no fic, so once again thank you, thank you, thank you.

I’d also like to thank my friend Mel for all her words of encouragement and praise. Thanks Mel.

I was watching her as we geared up. Her crystal blue eyes met mine.

"You ready Major"?

"Yes sir"

"Then lets move out kids".

As we stepped into the shimmering blue light none of us could have known what lay ahead. How could we have known how much our lives would change because of one mission. Love is such a funny emotion, it rears its head when you least expect it and thanks to that mission on P3R585, I finally realised my feelings for my Major. Trouble is, I might never see her again ... because they’ve taken her.


"Well, isn’t this place just peachy," quipped Jack as SG-1 stepped through the stargate onto P3R585.

"MALP showed no signs of life in the immediate area sir" Sam said glancing around the densely wooded area surrounding the gate.

"Well then kids, let’s see if we can find some natives to annoy" Jack joked beginning to move through the trees, followed closely by his team. "Ah trees, trees and more trees – I love these little nature trails we take."

Sam smiled at her commander’s sarcasm. He grinned back, their eyes meeting for a moment. God, he loved that smile. And as for those crystal blue eyes, he could just gaze into them all...Woah Jacky boy, that’s enough of that thinking. 2IC remember, 2IC. Giving himself a mental reprimand they continued onward. They travelled for more than an hour when the forest suddenly levelled off and SG-1 found themselves looking down at an all too familiar scene. The giant pyramid rising high against the sun sent a cold shiver down Jack’s spine.

"It is one of the ships of Apophis" stated Teal’c in his matter of fact tone.

"Yah think? Okay troops, I think we’ve seen quite enough of our old friend Apophis to last a lifetime, let’s move back to the Stargate".

"But Jack" came Daniels immediate response.

"Ah, Ah, no buts Daniel – we’re going home right now".

"Jack, what if he’s planning another attack, I mean God, just look at what he’s built up, think of the army he must have, we have to go..."

"For cryin’ out loud Daniel, No!"

Sam immediately saw the hurt look on Daniels face but knew Jack was right. "I have to agree with the Colonel Daniel she said softly, we shouldn’t risk going down there, at least not without backup".

"Thank you" came Jacks reply. "Look Daniel, we’ll go back and report to General Hammond. If he agrees, we’ll come back with some of the other SG teams for a closer look. Now, can we * please * move before Pops and his merry band of jaffa catch us".

The team turned and made their way hurriedly back through the dense forest, weapons raised as if to defy any challengers.

"Dial us up now Daniel" said Jack as the stargate came into sight. As the seventh chevron locked and the gate whooshed to life, Jack breathed a soft sigh of relief. There was something about this mission that filled him with an inexplicable feeling of unease. He’d be happy to see the end of it. Teal’c suddenly shook him from his silent reverie with a monotone "we must leave now O’ Neill".

"Okay campers", came Jacks reply "Lets move out". As Teal’c stepped into the blue light, Jack took one last look around before following him through. Sam finished entering the code and followed Daniel up the ramp when suddenly, the all too familiar sound of a staff weapon blast made them both turn sharply.

"Hurry Daniel, go" cried Sam as another blast whizzed past them.

Running up the ramp a third blast was fired and Sam fell to the ground writhing in agony, clutching desperately at her left shoulder. Daniel, right at the shimmering blue light of the event horizon turned.

"Sam! No!" he screamed as he reached out his hand. But it was too late as he was pulled through the gate by the sheer force of the event horizon. Arriving on the other side, Jack and Teal’c were standing with General Hammond, worried looks etched on their faces.

"What took you so"...began Jack, stopping himself as the cold realisation dawned on him. "Where’s Carter?"

Daniel just stood in shock his hand still outstretched as if he could reach her.

"Where the hell is Carter Daniel?" shouted Jack, panic evident in his voice.

"They...they... Oh God Jack, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t get to her, I got pulled through, I tried I swear I tried".


"Take it easy Colonel". General Hammond’s tone was soft. Now Dr. Jackson, what exactly happened?"

Daniel dropped to the ramp, tears welling in his eyes. "We were about to leave when we heard the staff weapon blast". He closed his eyes at the memory. I made it to the stargate, Sam didn’t. She was hit. I reached out for her but I was too close to the event horizon and I was pulled through". Daniel saw the rage in Jacks eyes. "I’m sorry Jack" he whispered.

Jacks mind was in turmoil. Sam was gone. He felt a sharp pain deep in his chest as a wave of nausea spread over him. His Sam was gone, dead maybe. "Permission to return to P3R585 immediately General".

"Permission denied".

"Sir, Carter is injured, we * have * to go back".

"I’m well aware of that Colonel but you are not going back without assistance from SG teams 4 and 6. Dr. Jackson, report to Dr. Fraiser then come to the briefing room. We’ll be waiting there".

As he entered the briefing room, Daniel could feel the sheer anxiety and tension. General Hammond looked worried, Teal’c looked like...well, Teal’c but Daniel could see the pain in the jaffa’s eyes. But it was Jack who worried Daniel the most. Head buried in his hands he looked as if he was about to collapse. He always knew Jack felt something strong for Sam but it was only in that moment he realised just how deeply Jack’s feelings for her went. He looked up as Daniel entered.

"Dr. Fraiser says I’m O.K."

"Finally" said Jack, "Can we please get Carter now sir?"

"Very well, get geared up and meet SG-4 and 6 in the gateroom in 30 minutes".


As they moved down the corridor, Daniel walked next to Jack. "God Jack, I’m so sorry".

"Not your fault Daniel" Jack replied half-heartedly.

"She didn’t look good Jack but she was still alive, Sam’s strong, she...she’ll make it". Daniel said, not knowing if it was Jack he was trying to convince or himself. "Jack talk to me, please".

"No time, we have to move now".

"Jack!" Daniel shouted, then softened "please". Reaching out his hand he placed it on Jacks arm slowing the agitated man down. "I know how close you and Sam are and I know how upset you must be feeling but I ..."

"You don’t have a clue how I’m feeling" Jack cut in, immediately sorry. "Sorry Danny, I just...just, I don’t know what I’ll do without her" he whispered.

"We’ll find her Jack, I promise".


As the lid slid open, Sam opened her eyes. She struggled to sit up. Looking around her, she immediately recognised the dazzling golden décor and closed her eyes, the full awful realisation of where she was beginning to sink in. As she stepped out she turned to look at the sarcophagus which had completely healed her arm. "I hate those things" she mumbled. Suddenly two jaffa appeared from nowhere, their staff weapons pointed right at her.

"Move!" one of them yelled.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam defiantly demanded.

"Move now or die tau’ri" came the menacing jaffas reply as he thrust the tip of the staff weapon into her back.

"Alright, alright, I’m moving". Sam struggled in her captors arms as she was promptly marched along a corridor – a corridor almost identical to the inside of the ships they had destroyed when Apophis planned to attack earth. Stopping outside what appeared to be a small holding cell, Sam saw her chance and suddenly turned and elbowed one of the jaffa causing him to fall forward, hitting him hard on the back as he fell. As she turned to deal with the other guard she suddenly felt a searing pain across her face as he struck her hard. Picking her up he threw her against the cell wall and she righted herself, struggling for breath.

"You would be dead tau’ri if our lord Apophis did not have plans for you".

The cell door closed and she was alone. She closed her eyes. "Jack" she thought silently, "I just want Jack".


Stealthily, the SG teams made their way through the dense woodland. Jack’s mind was working overtime. Where was Sam? What the hell had they done to her? He would kill them, every last one of those snake infested bastards if they’d harmed her! Suddenly, Colonel Davies, head of SG-4 stopped, indicating with a nod of his head that they had reached the pyramid. Looking down at the giant frame, Jack felt his blood boil as anger welled up inside him. Squeezing his hands into fists at his side he silently repeated "hang on Sam, I’m coming for you, just hang on".


Sam stood and looked around the dingy cell. How long had she been there – an hour, maybe 2, she didn’t know. But one thing she did know, she had to get out of there and fast but the holding cell seemed impenetrable. Dank brick walls surrounded her and with no windows the only way out seemed to be the cell door. "Damn" she cursed loudly, kicking the cell door as if that would make it swing open. Slumping to the floor again, she pulled her knees tight against her chest and wrapped her arms protectively around them. She feared what Apophis would do to her. She’d seen his handy work, lived through it and she sure as hell didn’t want to go through it again. But more than that, she feared for Jack. She knew without a doubt that her commanding officer would attempt to rescue her, knowing he would never leave a member of his team in trouble but she also knew that Apophis had built up quite an army and one that could easily overthrow her friends. She closed her eyes and prayed – "please Jack, please be careful". She thought of his handsome face, worn with years of pain, she thought of his chocolate brown eyes which so often found hers, she thought of his smile which gave her a warm glow every time she saw it and then she let the silent tears flow like rivers down her cheeks.

Suddenly, the sound of heavy footsteps shook her from her thoughts of Jack. Quickly wiping the salty tears away with the back of her hand, she stood fast ready to defend herself against the approaching enemy. As the cell door swung open three burly jaffa strode in. Two of them grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and hauled her from the cell. She struggled beneath their grasp desperate not to go down without a fight but as the third jaffa brought the butt of his staff weapon down hard upon her legs she knew it was fruitless. As her aching legs buckled and gave way beneath her, she was dragged down the decorative golden corridor and into a huge chamber. As the serpent guards tossed her roughly to the floor, she lifted her head and gasped softly. There in front of her stood the serpent god Apophis, his eyes glowing menacingly, his mouth set in a sneer that made her blood run cold.

"Welcome Major Carter", he leered, his deep voice sending a shiver through her, "we have such wonderful plans for you".


The sun was slowly setting behind the great pyramid as the teams distributed their weapons and furtively discussed their attack plan. They had decided to wait till darkness fell before they launched their attack, amid strong protestations from Jack. But even he had to concede when he saw the number of jaffa milling around the giant ship. At least under cover of darkness they’d have a better chance of slipping in unnoticed. Time was moving on and as the sun finally sank, they readied themselves for the attack before slowly and stealthily moving down towards the enemy.

The adrenaline pumped through Jacks veins as he thought of Sam. He’d find her, bring her home, back with him where she belonged, where she’d never be alone like this again. And as for Apophis...he was gonna blow a hole through that yellow eyed bastard, so big that all the goa’uld’s in the world couldn’t fix it.

As they neared the enormous ship, Jack and Teal’c ran ahead, motioning to the others to follow suit. As they fired the zat guns they had acquired from their many missions, the four jaffa guarding the entrance to the pyramid fell silently, their lifeless bodies thudding softly as they hit the ground.

"This is it" whispered Jack, running towards the now clear entrance "lets get her back".


Sam felt physically sick as she immediately recognised the small metal device Apophis toyed with in his hands. She’d had plenty of experience with this little gadget, had her memories accessed against her will, all her thoughts on display, had relived pain and grief that wasn’t even her own all because of one seemingly innocent device.

Snapping she shouted "You tried that...that * thing * on me once before and it didn’t work, I will tell you * nothing *" she spat, "do you hear me, nothing!" Apophis laughed at this outburst and shoved the device deep into Sam’s temple, grinning evily as she winced in pain. She steadied herself, her steely blue eyes locking with Apophis’ in sheer determination. "I will tell you noth..." she began but stopped when she felt a sharp pain in her arm. One of the jaffa had injected her with something.

"What the hell is that?" she yelled.

"You are mine now Samantha Carter" laughed Apophis, "your thoughts, your mind - everything".

"Never!" shouted Sam.

The unexpected sound of heavy gunfire startled Apophis, breaking his concentration. "Jaffa, Telshac! Telshac!" he shouted to his faithful serpent guards. Before they could move the giant doors of the chamber burst open and there stood Jack surrounded by SG-4 and 6, Daniel and Teal’c standing defiantly at either side of him.

"Honey, I’m home" shouted Jack before opening fire on the shocked jaffa, his friends following his lead. The element of surprise gave the rescue team just the advantage they needed, Apophis’ guards having virtually no time to react. As one by one they fell to the floor dead and dying, Apophis merely grinned. Waving his hand over a small object, the serpent god was engulfed by huge golden transporter rings and disappeared almost instantaneously.

"Damit" cried Jack seeing, too late, Apophis’ escape, "I’ll get you you son of a bitch, you can bet your sorry goa’uld ass on that". Turning, he ran straight to Sam, who had managed to crawl out of the firing range and was now slumped against one of the chamber walls. "Sam, Sam" he cried, holding her in his arms, his hand lightly stroking the ugly bruise under her eye where the guard had struck her earlier, "God Sam, I’m so sorry, this’ll never happen again, I swear it, * never*". Sam just smiled up at him, "I knew you’d come for me" she whispered before closing her eyes.


As her eyes flickered open, Sam struggled to make sense of the blurry images that hovered around her. Blinking furiously, she finally made out Janet’s smiling face. Behind her stood a very worried looking Jack, Daniel and Teal’c standing sentry at either side of him.

"Welcome back" Janet said softly.

"What happened?" said Sam as she struggled to sit up only to give in to the pounding in her head and lie back down. "Oh, my head."

"Stay still" came Janet’s concerned response as she checked Sam’s pulse. "You were injected with a highly concentrated hallucinogenic drug, you’ve been unconscious for the last 4 hours". Seeing the worried look in Sam’s eyes, she smiled reassuringly. "Don’t worry, everything’s under control. We’ve given you something to counteract the effects of the drug and we removed the memory device so you should be back on your feet and defending the galaxy in a couple of days, but until then I want you to have complete rest, doctors orders."

"Okay Doc" came Sam’s sleepy response.

As Dr. Fraiser left the room, Teal’c and Daniel came to either side of her, Daniel placing his hand in hers.

"How you doin’ Sam, you had us all worried there for a while."

Sam smiled softly at him, "you heard what Janet said Daniel, I’ll be fine".

"It is good to see you are feeling better Major Carter" Teal’c offered as he patted her arm.

"Well, we’ll let you get some rest" said Daniel, noticing Jack’s head movements urging them to leave him alone with Sam.

As the room emptied, Jack moved hesitantly forward and sat on the edge of the bed taking Sam’s hand in his.

"Sam" he said softly as he brushed a strand of blond hair back from her face.

"Sir" came the drowsy response.

"Sam, I’m so sorry for what happened, it was my fault, you should never have been left like that, * never *.

"It’s not your fault sir, you saved me", Sam replied as her eyes began to droop. As she slipped into a blissful sleep she felt his lips lightly brush against her forehead, heard the soft whisper of her colonel’s voice in her ear... "I’ll never leave you alone again, ever".


As she sat on her couch, dressed causally in a pair of jog pants and an old sweatshirt, Sam reflected back on the past few days. Jack was being so protective of her, it really was sweet. He had rarely left her side all the time she had been in the infirmary and now that she had been discharged and was on a couple of days downtime, he was either on the phone or at her front door, concern evident in his deep brown eyes. Stretching she roused herself slowly from the comfort of her couch, padded into the kitchen and put the kettle on. As if on cue, the doorbell shrilled loudly and Sam smiled to herself, knowing full well who would be at the door.

"Jack", she smiled as she opened the door and invited him in with a gesture of her hand. While she was on downtime, he insisted she call him Jack and to be honest, she liked calling him that.

"Hey Sam" he replied as he entered, "how’s my favourite Major doin’".

"Not too bad. Hey, fancy a cup of coffee, kettle’s just gone on?"

"Sure, you know I’ll take anything you have to offer", he replied, one eyebrow raised suggestively.

Sam smiled and made her way to the kitchen, a little taken aback by her commanding officers blatant flirting. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, God no it certainly wasn’t that, it was just that he was being a little more obvious than usual, in fact it had been that way since she got back from P3R535. Coming back in with two steaming cups, Jack patted the space on the couch next to him.

"You’re supposed to be resting Major".

"Aye, Aye sir" Sam replied and they both laughed as she sat down. As they sipped their coffee, they fell into a companionable silence, Sam enjoying his closeness, enjoying just being with him. Her feelings for her Colonel were getting stronger, she could feel it but fear always held her back, held them both back she thought sorrowfully. It was a fear of what people would say, of being hurt, of ruining a wonderful friendship, but most of all it was those damn regs. Suddenly Jack’s voice broke into her silent thoughts.

"So Sam, looking forward to getting back to the good old SGC?"

"You have no idea how much, I hate sitting around doing nothing. I have to keep myself busy, especially after...well, getting back to reality suits me just fine. And Janet says I should be ready for duty by the end of the week."

"It’ll be good to have you back again".

"Oh, I thought you’d all be happy to see the back of me and my ‘scientific waffle’ for awhile" Sam joked looking into his deep brown eyes.

"Nah, everyone missed you" he joked back. Suddenly his eyes became serious and he shuffled closer to her on the couch, "but not half as much as I did".

"Really" she replied, a slight shiver running down her spine.

"Sam" he whispered softly as he brought his hand up to gently stroke her face, "Sam, when you were missing all that time on P3R585, I thought...I thought I’d never see you again."

"Jack I..." she interrupted but stopped as he placed a finger soft against her lips.

"I need to say this Sam. All that time you were missing, I felt...felt lost, like some part of me was gone and all I could think was how was I going to carry on without you. Don’t you realise what you mean to me Sam, how much I need you, how much I care about you, how much I love you" he whispered. Her heart hammered in her chest as she began to feel giddy and light headed. This was all happening so fast, but he loved her, he really loved her.

"Jack" she whispered softly as she raised her trembling hand up to his face. As he brought his lips down to hers she felt a wonderful warmth flow through her whole body. Their lips met for the first time, a soft gentle kiss laced with the promise of more. She drew back and looked into his deep brown eyes. Smiling, he moved towards her, kissing her with more force this time, his tongue gently searching her mouth, brushing softly against her own.

After what felt like a blissful eternity, Sam eventually broke the kiss. She needed to be sure this was what he wanted, that tomorrow it wouldn’t just be some awful mistake. Jack wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her in his embrace, his face creasing into a slight frown as Sam turned to face him.

"Jack, are you sure about this, you know it’ll be hard with the regs and all".

"Damn the regs and damn the military, you’re all I want" came the determined reply. Damn the military, thought Sam, that doesn’t sound very Jack O’ Neill. Still, who was she to argue with her Colonel, with her Jack.

"You’re right, we’ll find a way around them" she answered quietly "and Jack, I...I love you too". There, she had finally admitted it, admitted how she really felt about her commanding officer. Drawing her in close again, Sam felt a surge of happiness as he kissed her softly again. This time it was Jack who gently broke the kiss, stroking her soft face with one hand, the other holding her tight as if he’d never let go.

"Sam" Jack asked softly, breaking the silence, do you want to tell me what happened on P3R585. You’ve been so quiet about it. You know I’m here for you, to listen, I always will be".

"I know she replied". As she began to tell the story of the last mission, tears slid softly down her cheeks, her strong military façade cracking. She told him all that had happened, told him how she feared she would never see her friends or family again, how she feared he would die. He held her close, wiped her tears away with a soft brush of his thumb and told her that everything would be alright. She began to sob almost uncontrollably, every pent up emotion from so many past missions finally coming out. "God" she thought, "I just found out the man I loved was in love with me too and here I am blubbing away all over his shirt, get a grip Carter".

"I’m sorry Jack, I guess it’s just everything, I mean, not just the last mission but...well...everything that’s happened to us, to me. I suppose some things are hard to get over".

"Like Jolinar?" Jack whispered. Just the mention of the name sent a shiver down Sam’s spine.

Wiping the tears from her eyes she answered quietly, "Yeah, I guess. It’s hard living with someone else’s memories and feelings, their fears, their pain. Still, I’m getting better at dealing with it now, she doesn’t control me" Sam replied finally beginning to pull herself together. "Alright Carter" she thought "enough of all this snivelling, this is the man you’ve wanted for the last three years, time to take the plunge". Tugging at his shirt suggestively she whispered seductively in his ear "Now, why don’t we go into the..."

"Do you still get flashbacks?" Jack interrupted, his eyebrows raised questioningly. "What are they like, I mean what do you see?" Sam stopped her attempts at seduction, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. Just a short while ago, he was kissing her as if he would never stop and now he was asking questions about Jolinar and flashbacks. What the hell was going on?

"Jack, I’d really rather not..."

"God, I’m sorry Sam" he said repentance filling his brown eyes, "I was just trying to help. I mean, it is a lot to deal with. Have you ever told your Dad how you feel about all this, he could help, he is Tok’ra now.

"I guess, but I don’t want to talk about that now" Sam said.

"Sure, of course. By the way, what planet are those Tok’ra on now, I mean, do those guys ever stay still?"

"What did you say?" asked Sam suddenly pulling away from his embrace.

"I just said what planet are the Tok’ra on?"

The question seemed to echo in her mind, repeating over and over again. "I don’t know" she said softly, standing up and backing away from the couch "because the Tok’ra find us, they never tell us where they are. My Jack O’ Neill knows who the * hell * are you?"

"Sam! What’s wrong?" cried Jack as he jumped up.

Suddenly it was all too clear as the room began to spin uncontrollably. "No!" Sam cried, "oh please God no! This can’t be happening, it just can’t." Falling to the floor Sam buried her head in her hands, her body shaking with uncontrollable sobs. Raising her head slowly, her worst fears were confirmed. "Damit" she screamed whacking the floor with her fist. She was still there, still with...him. As Apophis leered down at her she realised nothing had been real. Not the rescue, not Jack’s love – nothing. He had controlled her mind, used her, used her feelings for Jack to try to get information.

"You bastard" she spat as her tear filled eyes met his.

Apophis’ eyes glowed as his menacing voice filled the chamber "You are mine Samantha Carter...Mine!"


Sam tried to stand, determined to fight to the last but the lingering effects of the drug she had been injected with caused her legs to crumple beneath her and she slumped back to the floor. Apophis sneered at her feeble attempts before reaching down and wrenching the memory device from the side of her head causing her to cry out in pain.

"So, you’ve seen through my little game once again have you?" the serpent god said, walking slowly around her "clever Major, very clever, that drug is 10 times stronger than the blood of Sokar". Suddenly, he grabbed her by the hair, holding her face inches from his, "but that, *that * was only the beginning tau’ri" he snarled "a little personnel amusement. What I have in store for you is much, much worse". Throwing her to the floor, he nodded at one of his dutiful jaffa, "It is time, bring her to me". Turning sharply the burly guard left the chamber returning only moments later with a huge jar filled with a clear liquid. Sam’s entire body began to shake as she saw the larval goa’uld wriggling furiously inside the jar, desperate for a host. Apophis took the jar carefully from the serpent guard and gently caressed it, "Amounet, my love" he whispered, "Soon we will be together again".

Amounet, the word resounded in Sam’s ears. It couldn’t be, she was dead, she died with Shar’ae, Sam had seen it. "Amounet is dead" Sam spat, "I saw her die, I...I saw her buried". Apophis laughed aloud at this, a cold, evil laugh.

"My faithful slaves returned to Abydos after this burial and in my...absence, they stole Amounet and the host body which she inhabited from their grave and brought them here. They used the sarcophagus to raise my love from the dead".

"Shar’ae" Sam whispered, a glimmer of hope for Daniel rising within her.

"Her tau’ri host was weak. Her wounds would not heal and she died soon after revival" Apophis smirked, enjoying the pain in Sam’s eyes. "And so, my love has rested in the body of a jaffa till a more...suitable host could be found...until now. Hold her, Kree, Kree".

Sam struggled furiously as the huge serpent guards grabbed her roughly from the floor and hauled her towards what appeared to be a long, exquisitely decorated golden table. Her heart thumped in her chest as she felt the bile rise in her throat. Her whole body seemed to be shaking uncontrollably and beads of sweat were beginning to form on her forehead. So this was what sheer terror felt like. In all her years of military service, she had never experienced anything like this, there was no escape, no way out. Forcing her onto the table, two of the jaffa held her arms firmly while a third tried to grab her legs. With all her strength, she raised her left leg and kicked him fiercely across the side of the head, knocking him sideways. She wriggled furiously, desperate to take this chance to escape from her captors but her efforts were no match for their might. The third jaffa, stunned for only a second grabbed her flailing legs and she was pinned mercilessly to the table. She shut her eyes momentarily, praying for a miracle, praying for Jack, but as she opened her eyes and saw Apophis leering over her, holding the squealing goa’uld, she knew it was too late. As he released the parasite, it immediately squirmed and writhed its way up her body and her eyes filled with terror as the goa’uld entered her ear and began to wind its way around her spine, slowly, painfully taking her over. "Jack" she mouthed silently "Jack".


The rescue team had been cautiously making their way through the great ship searching for their missing team mate. So far they had encountered few problems and any jaffa they did come across were disposed of quickly and quietly but Jack felt strangely uneasy about the whole thing. It was all too simple, almost as if Apophis wanted them to find him. Well, all he wanted was to find Sam, see her, hold her, take her home with him.

The group stopped suddenly causing Jack to walk straight into Teal’c. "Ow, Teal’c for cryin’ out loud, what the hell..."

"Colonel O’ Neill", interrupted Teal’c running his fingers over the golden hieroglyphs adorning the corridor walls, "I believe this is the chamber of Apophis, this is where we will find him and most likely Major Carter as well".

Hope rose within Jack. This was it, he was gonna get her back, his Sam. He fidgeted slightly with his firearm, eager to get in there and get her out. "Alright" he whispered, "on three Teal’c you twist those snakeheads and open those doors, and that’s when we go in".

"Guns blazing?" Colonel Davies said with a smile.

"You can bet your sweet ass on that" came Jacks determined reply. "One, two..."

Before he could get to three, the great doors opened and the unmistakable voice of Apophis boomed loudly, "Colonel O’ Neill, we have been expecting you, come in". The team moved into the chamber, guns held high, ready to fend off the impending attack... but none came. The eight jaffa in the chamber stood still, their staff weapons upright at their sides.

"So predictable tau’ri" Apophis began "that you would come running to rescue your fallen friend".

"Where is she you yellow eyed bastard?" Jack spat, his gun aimed defiantly at Apophis’ head "if you’ve hurt her in any way, I will tear you limb from limb, do you hear me".

"But Colonel, your Major Carter is right here" Apophis replied with a sweep of his hand. As if on cue, Sam appeared, wearing a superbly decorated long blue and gold dress, a small golden crown resting softly on her blond hair.

"Sam" Jack whispered, his heart soaring. He never knew just seeing someone like this could make him so happy. She was alive, thank God she was alive. As their eyes met Jack suddenly recoiled in horror as her eyes glowed a deep yellow.

"I am Amounet" Sam bellowed in deep voice "and you will bow before me tau’ri".

"Sam, oh please no, no" Jack said, his voice barely a whisper. Tears were beginning to well in his eyes, but he held them back, keeping his strong military façade in front of his comrades.

"Amounet my love" Apophis began, handing her a staff weapon, "kill Colonel O’ Neill, let us take our revenge on what has been done to us by these insolent tau’ri".

Sam/Amounet raised the staff weapon, ready to fire. "Sam, fight it, please fight it" Jack’s voice pleaded, "you can do it, you did it before, stay with me Sam, stay with me, you’re one of the strongest people I know, you can fight this".

Struggling to gain control, she slowly began to lower the staff weapon, her eyes brimming with tears. It was like her worst nightmare, but one she couldn’t wake up from. She could see what was happening, could see what she was doing but she was powerless to control it, she was a prisoner in her own body. "Jack" she mouthed as she momentarily regained full control "forgive me, please forgive me". Jack began to move closer, stretching his hand out towards her when her eyes suddenly flashed yellow, Amounet regaining control over her.

"Your friend is weak and afraid" she began, "and now you will die". Raising the staff weapon she fired two shots, blasting Jack in the shoulder and the leg, sending him flying across the huge chamber before he landed with a sickening thud on the ground.

"Colonel O’ Neill" Teal’c and Colonel Davies chorused together rushing to the injured mans side. Barely conscious and bleeding badly from his wounds, they knew they had to get him back to the SGC or he would die. Before slipping into unconciousness, Jack grabbed Teal’cs hand and whispered, "please Teal’c, don’t let them kill her, please".

Teal’c nodded and began to lift his injured friend up from the floor, desperate to get him out. As they began to carry him out of the chamber, Colonel Davies gave the rescue team their signal to cover them and so they began firing on the enemy, using the entrance to the chamber and the long golden table as shelter from the staff weapon blasts. As the sound of gunfire echoed around him, Daniel knew this was his only chance. That damn gould had taken his beloved wife from him, he would not let it take one of his best friends as well. Pulling out his small revolver, he ran from his shelter behind the table, ducking deadly blasts as he moved.

As they smiled evily at each other, Apophis took Sam/Amounet by the hand and they began to move unseen towards a secret exit at the back of the chamber. They were suddenly stopped in their tracks as Daniel stepped directly in front of them, using their momentary lapse of concentration to grab Sam/Amounet. Wrapping his arm around her neck, he placed the cold barrel of the gun against her head. "Don’t move you sonofabitch, or I’ll blow her away".

"You would never kill your friend" Apophis reasoned, a hint of fear evident in his callous eyes.

"She’s not my friend now, she’s a vicious, evil gould and I will kill her, I swear it" Daniel lied, not knowing where this strength was coming from. He began to back away, moving slowly into the middle of the chamber. Apophis began shouting something in goa’uld and suddenly the gunfire stopped, the serpent guards starring at Daniel as he moved through them, holding their queen in a menacing grasp. "Let’s go" Daniel shouted to his stunned comrades "Now!" They moved quickly out of the chamber, knowing that as soon as the last one left, Apophis would send his guards after them. As Daniel reached the exit, one of SG-4 pulled a grenade from his belt.

"Should hold ‘em for a while" he said as he rolled it into the chamber before turning and running down the corridor. As they heard the deafening blast they knew they had bought themselves some time, but not much. Behind them they could hear Apophis roaring, desperately calling for his jaffa to help him.

"Oh yeah" thought Daniel, "he’s pissed".

Running out the huge entrance to the pyramid they entered the nearby woods, soon catching up with Colonel Davies and the rescue team and of course Teal’c who was insisting on carrying Jack by himself, loyal to the last. Seeing Daniel was having a little trouble controlling Sam/Amounet, who despite having a very loaded gun to her head was doing her best to free herself from his grasp, Colonel Davies ran to his aid, pinning one of her arms to her side while Daniel did the same to her other arm.

"You will suffer and die for your insolence you pathetic humans" she spat.

"Yeah?" said Daniel "well you will suffer for what you’ve done to our friend you pathetic little worm. Now move".

The team began running towards the stargate as they heard the staff weapons blast their way through the woods close behind them.

"Well, that didn’t take very long" said Daniel breathless from the exertion. He wasn’t used to all this running and they were practically dragging Sam/Amounet along as she was doing her very best not to move at all.

"Shit" said Davies as a blast whizzed dangerously past him, striking a nearby tree, "lets move faster guys".

Picking up the pace, they quickly made their way through the dense forest, dodging deadly blasts before finally reaching their one way home. One of team began dialling up the address and as the stargate came to life Davies motioned to Teal’c, still carrying Jack, to go through first.

"Cover us" he shouted to the rest of his team as both he and Daniel went next, firmly grasping one very agitated woman. Emerging on the other side, they were greeted by an anxious General Hammond. Jack was already on a gurney and on his way to the infirmary and Daniel could see the shocked look on the Generals face as Sam/Amounet’s eyes glowed menacingly.


"Good God men, what the hell happened" he managed to utter before the rest of SG-4 and 6 emerged through the stargate, screaming at the control room to close the iris. As the huge steel iris slid shut, Daniel moved away from his ‘prisoner’, still being firmly held by Colonel Davies and began to explain what happened to the concerned General.

"Sir, Sam’s been taken over by the goa’uld Amounet".

"But I thought she was..." began the General.

"I know, I know" Daniel interrupted, "but Apophis managed to save her and now she’s infected Sam.

"What about Colonel O’ Neill? He’s in pretty bad shape" the General asked.

"Sam shot him sir, I...I mean Amounet shot him. Look sir, this whole thing’s a mess and I feel responsible, I should never have left Sam behind. But sir, I have an idea, one that might save her". Taking a deep breath, he continued "permission to take her to Tollana, maybe they can help her like they helped Skaara. Please General, it’s our only chance to save her".

The General didn’t have to think twice, "permission granted Dr. Jackson. Teal’c, Colonel Davies, go with him".

As the seventh chevron locked, the three men stepped into the blue light, dragging Sam/Amounet with them.

"Bring her back men" whispered the General "bring Sam back".


She held his hand tightly in her own, willing him to get better. The room was silent apart from the steady blip of the heart monitor. The tears welled once again in her eyes as she looked down at his handsome face, wracked now with pain, the overwhelming guilt consuming her once again. Since she had come back from Tollana almost a week ago, Sam had spent every waking moment sitting with her Colonel, praying he would recover so she could tell him just how sorry she was. Sitting there day in, day out the memories of what had happened to her flooded her mind, giving her no rest.

She remembered Apophis using the memory device on her and she recalled how, for a short time, she had been blissfully happy. Jack had loved her and she had loved him but none of it had been real, nothing that is but the love she now knew she felt for her Colonel, a love that made this whole thing so unbearable. She had shot him, she loved him and she had shot him and he lay here now unconscious, maybe even dying. Sam could still see the look in his eyes as she fired the weapon, disbelief, pleading and she wasn’t strong enough to overcome that damn gould and that is something she would never forgive herself for.

She vaguely remembered being back in the gateroom and then being brought to Tollana. She would be eternally grateful to the Tollan for helping her. She remembered Narim’s worried face, his insistance that they forego the Triad in this case and the goa’uld be removed immediately and thank God they had listened to him. He was a good friend and thanks to him, Daniel and Teal’c she had returned to the SGC minus one parasite but with a sadness that no-one could take away. And since then she had stayed with Jack, her heart breaking for him every day.

"Sam" Daniel’s voice interrupted her silent thoughts as he entered the infirmary, "we’ll take over now, you could do with some rest".

"Indeed you should rest Major Carter" Teal’c said, a hint of concern in his usually monotone voice.

"Thanks guys" she whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes. Turning back to Jack she squeezed his hand "I’ll be back soon" she murmured. Suddenly his limp hand closed firmly around hers. "Guys" she began to shout as his eyes flickered open "he’s waking up, hurry, he’s waking up".

Hearing her shouts, Janet ran into the room to see what was happening, making her way straight to Jacks side. Checking his pulse and temperature she smiled down at him "well, welcome back Colonel, you gave us all a bit of a scare".

"Can’t keep a good dog down doc" came the hoarse response.

"Looks like he’s on his way back" she said, turning her attention to his worried friends. "I’m going to run a few tests but those wounds are healing nicely and now that he’s conscious again, my guess is, he’s going to make a full recovery".

As Janet left the room, Jack turned to look at his friends. Daniel had a goofy ‘thank God your alive’ expression on his face, Teal’c looked just the same as always and Sam...he turned his face away from her immediately, dropping her hand. His mind was in turmoil, she was a goa’uld, she had shot him hadn’t she?

"Sir" her voice was tearful and full of remorse, "I’m back, I’m me, the Tollans removed the goa’uld." Leaning closer to him she whispered "Jack, please forgive me, I’m so sorry, please".

He never turned back, he just couldn’t face her. How could someone so strong be so weak. "Leave me alone, I’m tired" he snapped.

Daniel laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder, feeling it shake beneath him as she sobbed, "c’mon Sam, let’s leave him now, c’mon".


Jack had been back on duty for the past 3 weeks. He was feeling better physically but emotionally he was well and truly a wreck. He still couldn’t look Sam in the eye. He had loved her, loved her so much...hell, he still loved her but he couldn’t forgive her. What was the point anyway, she couldn’t have cared for *him * very much. She had goddamn well tried to kill him. He had begged her to fight, to stay with him but she didn’t, she didn’t fight for him, she had given in. Oh, she had apologised and spent every minute in the infirmary with him but he had hardly uttered a word to her, he just didn’t know what to say to her any more.

"Sir" her voice penetrated his thoughts.

"What Carter?" he answered her gruffly.

"We’re ready to go through to PPX661 sir," she answered frowning at his tone of voice. He’d been like this with her ever since he had woken up – so cold and distant, snapping at her, undermining her. Of course he wasn’t like that with the others, oh no, to them he was good old Jack O’ Neill, but with her it was a different story.

"About time Major" he replied before stalking off towards the gateroom.

Sam looked after him, her heart breaking once again. Why wouldn’t he look at her, why wouldn’t he talk to her? Didn’t he see how much she cared about him, how sorry she was. God, she really didn’t know how much more of this she could take. Shrugging away the tears that threatened to fall yet again, she followed him down the corridor and into the gateroom.


PPX661 was a rocky, barren terrain with nothing but sparse land as far as the eye could see, very little to entice the team to stay.

"Hmm, rocks, rocks and what do ya know, more rocks. Well troops," quipped Jack "I think this planet is just about all the boredom we can stomach for today. Daniel you wanna dial us home, oh and Major Carter, would you like to join us" he snapped sarcastically at Sam who had wandered away to take a closer look at one of the rocks.

"Colonel, this rock is made of a very unusual mineral, I really think we should stay for a while and examine it, could be a real find".

"Or, it could just be a big lump of rock, so no Major we will not be staying... now move".

"But sir", Sam reasoned, "this mineral could be just what..."

"Goddamn it Carter, are you deaf? I said move and move now and that is an order! We don’t need to spend all day here while you look at some...some useless little mineral samples."

"Yes sir" Sam whispered, embarrassed at his tone in front of her friends.

Arriving back in the gateroom, General Hammond was waiting as usual, eager to hear the events of the mission.

"Not much to see if you don’t like rocks sir" Jack informed him, "although of course Major * Carter* insisted we stay. She really finds all that crap fascinating." Turning on his heel he stomped out of the gateroom leaving behind a confused General and one slightly mortified Sam.

"Sorry Sir" Sam began, "I’ll just go see if everything is alright".

"You do that Major" replied a baffled General, "you do that."

Jack was sitting in his quarters, quietly pulverising his pillow with rage before flinging it in a temper onto the floor and lying back on his bed. He closed his eyes for a moment. "Nice one Jack" he said aloud "you really did it this time". He knew what he was doing to her, he knew how much he hurt her every time he opened his mouth but he just couldn’t help himself, just couldn’t see past his rage to forgive her. It was amazing just how angry you could be at someone and yet at the same time love them so much.

"Colonel" Sam called as she rapped lightly on his open door.

Jack opened his eyes. "What do *you * want?" he questioned gruffly.

"I just...just, Sir what the hell has happened to you? You’ve been treating me like dirt for the past 4 weeks and I...I, well, I just don’t know how much more I can take".

"How much more you can take, you can take! Ha, that’s a laugh. You weren’t the one shot, you weren’t the one lying unconscious for a week, you weren’t the one who spent three weeks recovering" he screamed.

"I know that but Sir I just want us to talk about this, please".

"That’s not exactly your style now Major is it" he spat, "you shoot first, talk later right?"

"Jack, please that’s not fair. I’m truly sorry, I wish I could take it back...don’t you know how guilty I feel, what it’s like to know I did this and I wasn’t strong enough to stop it, don’t you know what nightmares I go through every single day. God don’t you understand anything?" she yelled.

"Don’t you dare speak to me that way Major!" he roared back, "I could have you court-martialled for this and from now on you will address me as Colonel! You know, I don’t care if you’re sorry or if you feel bad, you were the one who was weak, you were the one who gave in without a fight, this is *your * fault, you hear me *your fault *. I used to respect you, used"

"Go to hell *sir *" she spat "you won’t have to worry about me any more", and giving him a mocking salute she turned and stalked out of the room.


The tears were running down her cheeks now as she ran down the corridor. How could she have cared so much about him, how could she have cared about someone who could hurt her so badly. Well, she never wanted to see him again, she wanted out, out of the SGC and out of his life and out she was damn well gonna get.


Sam sat in her own quarters, the letter of resignation in her hand, her face still wet from crying. She had been sitting there ever since the argument 3 hours ago, praying he would come to her, tell her everything was alright and they could go back to the way things were before, but of course he hadn’t. "Wishful thinking Sam. You don’t need him, not now, not ever again" she silently convinced herself. She left her quarters and went straight to General Hammond’s office.

"Sir, may I come in"

"Of course Major. How is Colonel O’ Neill? Did you speak with him, find out what’s wrong?"

"It seems I am what’s wrong sir" she replied, keeping a strong face in front of her superior.

"What are you talking about Major?" the General asked, concern evident in his eyes.

"I am hereby resigning from my post on SG-1 and respectfully request that I be granted a transfer to the Pentagon Sir", she replied staunchly, handing him the typed letter of resignation.

"Sam, I can’t let you do that. You’re one of my best officers, SG-1 is one of my best teams. I can’t lose you. Please, what’s wrong, surely it’s something you and Colonel O’ Neill can sort out".

"I’m afraid not Sir. Now please sir, I am asking you for all our sakes to respect my wishes and grant me the transfer. It’s what I want and my mind is made up".

"You know I can’t force you to stay, but please Sam, please reconsider. I’ll call Colonel O’ Neill in here right now and we’ll sort this thing out face to face".

"No! I mean, no sir. I don’t want to see Colonel O’ Neill and I doubt he wants to see me either. My mind is made up sir, I’m going".

"Major, I really wish you’d reconsider. It’s only been a short while since you returned from P3R585 and I know it’ll take time to get over what happened to you there. Why don’t you take some time off, get used to the idea of being back and..."

"I’m sorry Sir, but I’m leaving the SGC...effective immediately".

"Very well Major" the General sighed, his eyes filling with sadness "we’ll miss you here".

"Thank you Sir" she saluted. As she opened the door of his office to leave she turned back to him "oh and Sir, I’ll miss you too".


Jack sauntered into the briefing room as if he hadn’t a care in the world. He was an expert at concealing how he really felt and right now he felt like shit.

"General" he said as he took a seat next to Daniel "what’s going on. Why did you call us here? And where’s Carter? Couldn’t manage to make it on time eh?" he sneered sarcastically.

"That’s enough Colonel" Hammond replied curtly, glaring at him, knowing full well that Jack had a hand in Sam’s sudden departure from the SGC. "I’ve called you all here to tell you that Major Carter has...has resigned from the SGC, effective immediately".

"What!" Daniel cried incredulously.

"Major Carter has resigned?" Teal’c repeated, "why would she do this?"

"Her reasons for leaving are personal," replied Hammond "but she wanted me to let you know that she was sorry and that she would miss you all".

Jack sat, shell shocked as the news sank in. Gone. She was gone, she had left him. God, how could he have been so stupid, he had forced her away, treated her so badly that she had to go. "Where is she going Sir?" he asked quietly.

"Back to the Pentagon Colonel. I’ve pulled a few strings and she’ll be back there within the week. It was what she wanted, I’m sorry".

"Why didn’t she tell us herself?" Daniel asked, still in disbelief "we’re her friends, she can’t just walk out on us like this".

"She asked me to tell you and that’s all I can say right now, I’m sorry".

"Is she still here Sir, I have to talk to her" Jack asked agitated, beginning to stand.

"There’s no point Colonel, I’m afraid she left some time ago. She has a lot to sort out before she leaves".


Sam threw the last of her clothes into her suitcase and pulled the zip roughly round. She hated this, in fact it was one of the hardest things she’d ever done. She wanted to be back with her friends...back with him. Shaking her head she scolded herself "Sam Carter, stop it right now, you don’t need him, not after what he did to you, *this * is for the best".

As she began to wrap the small ornaments that adorned her apartment, her telephone began ringing and thinking it would be either Daniel or Teal’c ringing to demand an explanation for her sudden departure, she decided to let the machine get it. Jack’s voice made her stop what she was doing.

"Carter, it’s me, pick up, I want to talk to you", his voice gruffly said. But no, she wouldn’t pick up, he could go to hell.

"Sam, please pick up, I know you’re there, I need to talk to you," his voice pleaded, a little softer this time.

She stormed over to the phone and picked it up. "Well, I don’t want to talk to you" she snapped into the receiver before slamming it down with such force that her hand ached. "Serves him right" she thought before yanking the telephone plug from the wall, well it *did * have to be disconnected anyway. "Oh to hell with this" she said aloud, tossing the telephone wire onto the floor and making her way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge door she pulled out a bottle of wine, grabbed a glass and padded back to her sitting room where she plonked down onto the couch, determined to forget it all.


Jack slammed the phone down. It was his sixth time trying to ring her and all he was getting was that damn engaged tone. Grabbing his jacket and keys he made his way out to his car and began to drive, not caring that he was breaking the speed limit. He just had to talk to her. Screeching to a halt outside her house, he jumped out of the car and began ringing her bell furiously, using his other hand to bang on the door. "Sam, it’s me, open up right..." he began, stopping as the door opened, Daniel standing in front of him.

"Daniel, what are you doing here? I need to speak to Sam Danny, please let me in".

"Sorry Jack" Daniel began, "but she really doesn’t want to see you right now, you know I’d let you in if I could but..."

"For cryin’ out loud Daniel, cut the crap and let me in there right now".

"Jack, listen, we’ll talk tomorrow but right now..."

"Daniel! Now you listen to me, I’m..." Jack began, stopping when Sam suddenly appeared behind Daniel, one fairly drunken Sam at that.

"Colonel" she slurred "I thought I told you I didn’t want to talk to you".

"Sam, please let me in, I really need to talk to you, I need to explain".

Swaying slightly, she grabbed hold of Daniel’s shoulder to steady herself "Now you lishen to me shir" she slurred "I don’t need you and I don’t want you any more, now go away and leave me alone. C’mon Danny, letsh go back in" she garbled before staggering back into the sitting room.

"I’m sorry Jack" Daniel said, giving Jack his most apologetic look, "She doesn’t know what she’s saying right now. I’ll take care of her, we’ll talk tomorrow O.K."

"Don’t bother Danny" Jack snapped, "just don’t bother". And with that he stormed back to his car, slammed the door and sped away, not even noticing Sam’s sad face looking out the window after him.

As Daniel walked back into the sitting room he saw Sam gazing out the window, tears running down her cheeks.

"Why don’t you just tell him Sam?" he asked.

"Because he doesn’t want me, not the way I want him," she replied, holding tight to Daniel as he engulfed her in a hug, "after what happened between us, I’m sure of it now".


Daniel knew what would be in store for him in the SGC today, to put it bluntly, one very disgruntled Jack O Neill but still he knew he had to talk to him.

"Jack" he called, knocking lightly on his office door.

"Get lost Daniel" Jack shouted back.

"I’m coming in, don’t shoot" joked Daniel pathetically, stepping into the office. His eyes widened at Jack’s appearance. Still dressed in the same clothes as the night before, he was unshaven, his hair was a mess and the office reeked of stale liquor.

"Have a good night Jack?" Daniel asked, wafting his hand in front of his nose to get rid of the smell.

"What’s it to you, you obviously had a good one eh Danny boy?"

"Jack, don’t be so ridiculous. Sam was very upset and I just wanted to get to the bottom of everything, I’m sick to death of this crap."

"Well, I’m so sorry for you" Jack replied sarcastically rubbing his head. Boy, he had one hell of a hangover.

"Look at you Jack, I mean, do you feel any better for drinking half a bottle of whiskey, well do you?"

"Oh, Daniel, don’t shout, * please*. Do I look like I feel any better? In fact, I’d be feeling a damn sight better if you’d just let me talk to Carter last night."

"You saw the state she was in Jack, last night wasn’t the right time."

"Well, listen to Daniel Jackson the expert" Jack sneered "why don’t you..."

"Jack, just shut up for a minute will ya, this is important!" Daniel yelled then cringed slightly. Oh, Jack was not gonna like that. But instead of bellowing out some sarcastic comment, Jack just looked up at him with sad brown eyes.

"Okay Daniel" he muttered, "what’s so important?"

Daniel took a deep breath, "Jack, Sam well, Sam told me a few things last night, things about you...and about her".

"Oh, what sort of things Danny?" Jack asked.

"Well Jack, I think...well I know really...that is to say..."

"For cryin’ out loud Daniel, spit it out already will ya."

"Jack, Sam’s in love with you, like really in love with you, and you wanna know something else" he continued, mustering up all his courage, "I think...I think you’re in love with her too only you’re too pig headed to admit it."

Jack sat open mouthed, completely gobsmacked, his heart thumping like crazy in his chest. Sam couldn’t love him, she couldn’t. If she really loved him, why wouldn’t she let him near her, why was she leaving him and running off to the Pentagon?

As if reading his thoughts, Daniel continued, "look Jack, Sam’s really hurt about the past few weeks and that’s why she’s doing all this. She thinks you don’t want her after what happened with Apophis and she feels guilty every minute about what happened and didn’t exactly make it easy for her but God Jack, she’s crazy about you, I know, I’ve seen it".

"Don’t you know how sorry I am about what I’ve done?" Jack asked, shaking his head sadly.

"Sure, I do Jack but I’m not the one you should be telling."

"What’s the point, she doesn’t care about me now Danny, not after all I’ve done to her. I mean, she was drunk last night, you said so yourself, she didn’t know what the hell she was saying".

"Jesus Jack!" Daniel began, starting to get agitated "are you listening to a word I’m saying, she loves you, you love her, will you please get your head out of your ass and *do * something."

"That’s enough Daniel!" Jack yelled back "don’t you dare waltz in here and pretend you know how I’m feeling. Now I just want to be left alone, so if you don’t mind" he finished motioning to the door.

"Fine Jack! Fine by me, but she’s leaving tomorrow and you’re gonna loose her for good, just think about that Jack, think about it" Daniel said before walking out of the office and slamming the door, leaving behind one very confused Jack O’ Neill.


Sam slammed the boot of the car down hard, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She was leaving this place and she didn’t think she’d ever felt this lonely before. She’d insisted the guys say goodbye to her the night before, she hated those long, teary goodbyes and they’d all come, Daniel, Teal’c, Janet, General Hammond but no Jack.

"Bastard" she thought climbing into the drivers seat, but still, he hadn’t even had the courtesy to come and say goodbye. As she pulled away from her house, so quiet and still now, the tears began to flow fast. She brushed them away and switched on the radio, anything to keep her mind off Jack, and that’s when she heard the words being softly sung, describing exactly how she was feeling

Show me the meaning of being lonely Is this the feeling I need to walk with Tell me why I can't be there where you are There's something missing in my heart


Jack sat slumped in his favourite chair, tears rolling down his cheeks, some dismal love song playing on the radio behind him. He was a hardened soldier, had seen wars, bloodshed and pain and yet this one woman had reduced him to this. He couldn’t even go and say goodbye to her last night, fearing he’d be rejected again. He was pathetic. And now she was gone, he had let her go. Daniel was right he had lost her for good, God he was such an idiot. And as if he wasn’t bad enough, that damn soppy song was driving him crazy. He moved to switch it off when the softly sung words suddenly made him stop in his tracks

Show me the meaning of being lonely Is this the feeling I need to walk with Tell me why I can't be there where you are There's something missing in my heart

He sat down and listened to every word, it seemed to describe just how he was feeling, lonely, pathetic and so sad. And why couldn’t he be with her?

There's nowhere to run I have no place to go Surrender my heart body and soul How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show

You are missing in my heart Tell me why I can't be there where you are

Damnit, but she was missing in his heart and damnit he was gonna get her back right now.


His car screeched to a halt outside her house and, he practically hammered down her door, desperate to see her, to talk to her, to tell her how he felt.

"Sam, I’m here Sam, let me in. I won’t leave until you talk to me, please just let me...". He stopped suddenly, looking at the house, realising how quiet it was, realising her car was already gone...she was already gone, was probably on a plane right now ready to fly out of his life.

"God Damnit, God damnit Sam" he yelled, kicking one of the bushes adorning her front garden "why the hell didn’t you wait for me, why did you leave me?"

"It’s not the bush’s fault Sir," the familiar voice quietly said behind him.

It couldn’t be, it couldn’t, he thought as he spun around, but there she stood so vulnerable, so beautiful. She’d been crying, he could tell, but Christ she was back and that was all he needed.

"Yes!" he shouted to no-one in particular before running to her and engulfing her in a powerful hug. God, she felt so good against him, her body, her face against his.

"Oh Sam, I thought you’d left me".

"I couldn’t go Sir, I couldn’t leave everyone...I couldn’t leave you".

"God Sam, I’m so sorry. I’ve been a complete bastard since we got back from P3R... whatever the hell it’s called. I blamed you, I thought you didn’t care about me, that you wouldn’t fight for me, I pushed you away, I was so wrong and I’m so sorry" Jack said in one breath, desperate to have his say before she interrupted him.

"I’m sorry too Sir. It was my fault, I should have fought harder, I shot you for God’s sake, I should have..."

"Ssssh Sam" Jack interrupted, placing a finger soft against her lips "it was never your fault, *never *, do you hear me? It’s all over and the most important thing right now is that you’re here with me, O.K." She nodded slowly and Jack knew it was now or never.

"Samantha Carter" he said, placing his hands on either side of her face and looking deep into her crystal blue eyes, "I am in love with you and I don’t * ever * want to be away from you again, do you hear me, *ever *."

"Oh Sir...I mean Jack" she began, her heart filling with happiness, real happiness this time "I love you too, so much, and I’ll never leave you again".

His face broke into a huge smile as he brought his lips down on hers in an electrifying kiss. All the tension, all the anger just melted away as sheer love replaced it. As their kiss deepened and he wrapped his arms around her, Sam smiled to herself, realising that Apophis’ little mind game had come true in the most wonderful way. She was in the arms of the man she truly loved and she would never let him go.

Pulling back, he stared at her. "Want to take this inside" he beckoned suggestively?

She laughed, her first real laugh in such a long time, "you know I do" she grinned cheekily.

"You know everyone really missed you at the SGC" he began, leading her towards the house, his arm wrapped tight around her waist... "no-one had a clue what the hell was going on, they’ll be glad to have you back" he joked.

She laughed out loud as she opened the door to her empty house and stepping inside she turned to face him "get in here right now Colonel" she said seductively, pulling him into her house by the collar of his shirt.

"Yes Ma’am" he replied and as their lips met again he closed the door, shutting out the world, surrounding her with his love.

The End

Well, that's all folks! Hope I posted it alright. I really hope you all enjoyed it and now you know what to do...FEEDBACK PLEASE.

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