General Hammond read the letter his Aide had just typed up, before signing it and handing it back to her. "Thank you, Lieutenant. That will be all."
"Can I get you a cup of coffee, Sir?" the lieutenant asked.
"Not right now, thank you."
Nodding, she headed to the door, closing it quietly behind her. Hammond sat back in his chair with a sigh and eyed the mountain of paperwork he still had to get through. His eyes then wandered to the teddy still sitting on the edge of his desk and he smiled, reaching across for it. He was pleased that the bear he had bought Adam for his christening had become the baby's favorite. He felt honored to be included in the child's life; to be playing such a role. His smiled widened, even if Jack O'Neill did take so much pleasure in calling him 'Grandpa George.'
The shrill ring of the telephone interrupted his thoughts and he reached across to pick up the receiver. "General Hammond."
"General, this is Doctor Wariner," the voice on the other end announced.
A cold knot of dread formed in Hammond's stomach. "Yes, Doctor?" he asked, trying hard to keep his voice even.
"I regret to inform you, Sir, that Colonel O'Neill's life-support has been turned off."
The General swallowed hard. "The Advance Directive?" he asked. He'd been dreading this moment since he'd been informed of the first EEG results, but it still didn't prepare him for the loss he was suddenly feeling.
"Yes, Sir. Both Doctor Fraiser and myself agreed that there was no hope for a recovery and Major Carter carried out her husband's wishes."
"How is she?" Hammond asked, his thoughts turning to the woman he considered a daughter.
"Not good, Sir. She asked to be alone with the Colonel's body, which is why I have yet to officially pronounce him..."
"So you don't actually know that he's dead?"
"He was already dead, Sir," Wariner pointed out. "We were just artificially sustaining his body."
Hammond sighed. "Thank you, Doctor. I will be down shortly."
General Hammond placed the phone receiver back on its cradle, closing his eyes. It was always hard to lose a person under his command, but he admitted that this was personal. He had just lost a member of his family. He wondered how Sam was going to cope with the loss. Life had thrown her so many low blows but he really didn't see how she would survive this last one. Perhaps the only thing that would keep her going would be Adam. He shook his head. She would be okay, he vowed. He would make damn sure of it.
He was pulled reluctantly from his thoughts as he heard the Stargate start spinning and the klaxons sound. Looking at his watch, he realized that it would probably be SG-7, back on schedule. He sighed, pushing his emotions away so he could greet his team. Jack's life may have ended, but life had to go on in the SGC.
"Do we have a GDO code?" he asked, as he walked into the control room.
"No, Sir," Davis told him, typing furiously.
"Then what is that iris doing open, Sergeant? Get it closed!"
"I can't, Sir. The iris will not respond."
Hammond looked up, concerned. "Defense teams, stand by!" he shouted into the microphone.
Everyone watched, fearful as the event horizon rippled. Many people gasped as the travelers appeared on the ramp.
"Defense teams, stand down!" Hammond called and rushed into the 'Gate room. He was greeted by half a dozen Nox.
"General Hammond," Lya greeted. "We are sorry we could not answer your call sooner."
Hammond nodded. "So am I. Unfortunately, Colonel O'Neill just passed away."
"It may not be too late for him. Would you allow us to try and revive him?"
A sparkle of hope entered the General's eye as he remembered hearing about SG-1's first encounter with the Nox. "Do you think that's possible?"
"It is, though I cannot guarantee we will be successful."
Hammond nodded, then paused. "Colonel O'Neill's parents are here and they cannot know anything about the Stargate... or you."
Lya smiled. "If you can keep them from Colonel O'Neill's room, then I think we shall be fine. If you would lead the way?" Waving a hand, Lya made her family and General Hammond invisible.
*****
Sam sat by her husband's side, holding his limp hand to her chest. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but that didn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. She hadn't turned the heart monitor off, the monotonous beep sounding loudly in the room. But Sam didn't hear it. She clung to the still warm hand, trying desperately not to think that it would soon be cold and she would have to let him go for good.
She didn't notice that she was suddenly not alone anymore until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw the General standing beside her. Hammond's heart broke as he took in the desolation he saw in her eyes. Then he watched as her eyes widened, looking past him to those who had come with him.
"The Nox would like to try and help," Hammond told her quietly.
"Oh my God, do you think..."
"They're not sure, Sam. Don't... don't get your hopes up too high. It may be too late."
She nodded, trying hard to squash the bubble of hope that formed in her stomach. She allowed the General to help her up and then watched as the Nox moved around her husband's bed.
*****
Janet stood outside the door in Daniel’s arms, crying for her friend who she had lost and crying for another who had just lost her soul-mate. Daniel held her tightly, his own tears falling for the loss of his best friend.
Susan sat nearby, holding her grandson. He was the only link left to her son now. She looked across at her husband, who was sitting there staring into space, tears trailing down his face. Teal’c, although stoic as ever to the casual observer, had a slump to his shoulders and a vacant look in his eyes. All of them were lost in memories.
“Janet!” they heard Sam cry. Janet disentangled herself from her lover and raced to her friend. What she heard as she entered the room almost made her faint. The hissing sound of the respirator was absent, telling her that Sam had switched it off. However there was another sound; the steady, rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor, indicating that Jack was still alive. Closer examination told her he was breathing by himself.
"How is this...?" She trailed off as she caught sight of who else was in the room.
"We have revived him," Lya explained. "But his injuries were severe. Whether he will awaken or not is now up to him."
"I don't think you'll find someone with more inner strength than Colonel O'Neill," Hammond told her.
"He's still bruised," Janet pointed out.
Lya looked down at Jack. "General Hammond told us that there were people who could not know about what we have done. That is why his superficial injuries were not healed." She smiled. "We should depart now, General Hammond, so that Colonel O'Neill's family can be by his side."
"Thank you," Sam managed to say.
"It was the least we could do for our friends, the Tau'ri." With that, they disappeared, taking Hammond with them.
Sam collapsed into the nearest chair. “Oh, God.”
“Daniel, get in here!” Janet called, needing to tend to Jack. She called for some nurses, who promptly arrived.
“He’s still alive?” Daniel asked, shocked as he walked in.
“Yeah,” Janet said, not stopping her task. “Look after Sam?”
He looked across at his friend who was as white as a ghost and looked as though she was about to pass out. He hurried towards her and forced her head between her knees, rubbing her back reassuringly. “Its okay, Sam,” he assured her. “Jack’s fighting now.”
"I was sure I was hallucinating," she told him. She looked up at him, suddenly fearful. "I'm not, am I?"
"It's real, Sam. I don't know how, but it's real."
"It was the Nox," Janet told him, coming to stand beside him. "They revived him."
"The Nox?" he asked, incredulous. "How did they...?"
"My guess is General Hammond contacted them. He told me he was going to contact our allies. He asked me not to say anything in case no one could come."
"Is he going to be okay?" Sam asked.
"Well he's stable, but I have no idea if they were able to completely heal him or just revive him. Surely if there were nothing wrong he would be awake."
"Not necessarily," Daniel pointed out. "We were unconscious for quite some time when they healed us the first time."
Janet nodded. "Okay, well I think he should be moved to the Academy hospital. Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill will be allowed to come and go as they please then."
"Oh my God, how am I gonna tell them about this?" Sam asked.
"I'll tell them," Janet replied. Sam had been through enough, she decided. She shouldn't have to tell her in-laws a lie on top of it. Giving her hand one last squeeze, Janet walked out the door.
Susan looked up as she saw Janet walk toward her. "How's Sam?" she asked, trying to wipe her tears away.
"She's okay," Janet told her. "And..."
"What is it?" Charles asked.
"By some... miracle, Jack is still alive."
"What?" Susan asked, clutching her Grandchild closer. "How is that possible? You said he was brain dead!"
"I know and all indications led us to that conclusion. I think the only thing we can say is that it is a miracle."
"Is he going to be okay?" Charles asked.
"I'm sorry, but I just don't know. He was clinically brain dead for a long time. There could be permanent damage... but things are certainly looking more hopeful than they were." She smiled. "We're going to perform some tests and then I'd like to have him moved to the Academy hospital. Everyone will be more comfortable there."
"Thank you, Janet," Susan told her, her voice shaking.
*****
It was a few hours later when Jack was finally settled into a room at the Academy hospital. Sam sat by his side, determined to be there if... *when*, she amended, he awoke. She was tired. The last twenty-four hours had taken a toll on her, both with the attack and her husband being injured. She knew she should get some sleep, but she didn't want to, not until he was awake. Her body, however had different ideas, and her eyes had just closed when she heard her son’s cries, getting louder and louder. She quickly rose to her feet, meeting her mother-in-law at the door.
“I’m sorry, Sam,” the Susan said, handing the child to his mother. “He was inconsolable.”
“It’s okay, mom,” Sam replied, holding her child close and rocking him gently. Adam’s cries reduced to whimpers in his mother’s arms but he never settled completely. He reached towards the bed, making it clear that he wanted his father.
Sam looked across to where Jack lay, making a decision. She walked over to her husband’s bed, lifting the safety rail up before gently placing her son beside his father. Adam settled down immediately, drifting off to sleep.
She then sat back in the chair, watching the two most precious things she had in her life, until sleep crept up once more and she drifted off.
*****
Jack regained consciousness slowly. The first thing he was aware of was the constant beeping that told him he was in the infirmary. He hoped to God that meant he was alive. If this was heaven, he was going to be having serious words with the main man. Though he supposed it could be hell. The second thing he noticed was a comfortable weight in the crook of his arm.
Curiosity more than anything made him open his eyes. He groaned as the light hurt his eyes, making him slam the lids shut again. He lay still for a moment but he was determined to find out what was laying there. He tried again, blinking rapidly until his eyes adjusted. ‘Okay, first task completed,’ he thought to himself.
Next, he decided to move his head. The pain it caused was almost enough to allow unconsciousness to return, but Jack refused to let it beat him. Inch by painful inch, he moved his head to the left. What he saw made it well worth the pain. His son, slumbering by his side, lost in innocent dreams. He hardly blinked, sure that if he looked away for a second, the image would disappear. He had been so sure he would never see his child again, sure that he would never hold his son or wife in his arms.
Thoughts of Sam were the only thing that managed to get him to tear his eyes away from Adam. He looked across to the chair beside his bed. What he saw wrenched at his heart. His wife sat sleeping in the chair, looking anything but comfortable. But it wasn’t her obvious discomfort that hurt him. It was the paleness of her skin and the red around her eyes that said she had done a lot of crying. Her cheeks looked hollow and her face was drawn. Her hair was limp and tangled. His angel looked a mess, but she was still the most beautiful image in the world to him.
A movement near the door caught his eye and he painfully moved his head to see who it was.
“My God!” Jocelyn gasped, seeing him. “You’re awake!”
“Shh,” he croaked, not wanting to disturb his wife and child.
“I’ll get Janet,” she whispered, and hurried back out the door.
Janet returned a few minutes later, grinning when she spotted her patient was awake. "How are you feeling, Colonel?" she asked.
"Like I've been hit by a train," he replied.
She smiled. "Well you are very lucky to have friends in high places," she informed him. "But right now I'd like to run some tests."
Janet looked down at the slumbering baby. "Sam, honey," she called. "I need you to take Adam for me."
Sam jerked awake. "What's wrong?" she asked, voice panicked. Her eyes went wide when she saw her husband looking back at her. "Oh my God, Jack!"
"Hey, Baby," he whispered hoarsely.
"You're okay," she breathed. Even though she'd seen the Nox at work before, she hadn't allowed herself to hope for too much. There had still been too many variables for her to know for sure.
"Well, I don't know about okay, I feel like crap."
"It could have been worse, Jack," she told him.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Later," Janet interrupted. "Right now, I want to run some tests."
*****
While the tests were run, Sam contacted everybody to tell them he was awake and seemed to be okay. By the time Jack got back to his room, the whole gang was there. Susan and Charles were the first ones to greet their son, Susan weeping openly as she hugged him tight.
"I'm okay, mom," Jack assured her.
"It's a miracle," Charles replied, taking his turn to hug his son.
"Well, the Doc's pretty good at working miracles," he told them.
Susan stepped away from her son and over to her daughter-in-law. "How about Charles and I take Adam, Sam? It must be getting close to his lunchtime and I know you could use a break."
"Are you sure, Mom? You look exhausted. Don't you want to get some rest?"
"How about I come and get him after he's had lunch?" Jocelyn suggested. "Then you can spend some time with him before going and getting some sleep."
"That would be great," Susan agreed. She took her Grandson from his mother and, after saying goodbye, headed out the door.
"So," Jack began, once they were gone. "The Nox saved the day, huh?"
"Just in the nick of time, I'd say," Janet replied. "You were lucky, Colonel. You should be dead."
"Can't keep a good man down, isn't that the saying?" He'd been trying to make Sam laugh, but didn't even get a smile. "What happened to your neck, Sam?" he finally asked, noticing the red cut.
Sam's hand flew up to cover the gash. "Nothing," she quickly replied.
"Show me," he insisted. "That looks like a knife nicked you." His eyes widened when the others looked guiltily away. "What in the hell happened?" he demanded.
"Try to stay calm, Jack," Janet insisted.
"Calm?!" he returned. "My wife has a knife wound on her neck!"
"There was an incident at the house, but everything turned out okay. Jerry attacked the intruder and the police caught him."
"An intruder?"
"Please, Colonel," Janet insisted, using her sternest doctor's voice. "You are recovering from serious injuries, you cannot get excited. Just accept that Jerry looked after Sam and the Nox looked after you."
Jack nodded, seeing he wasn't going to be allowed to push any further, at least not right then. "I can't believe they didn't repair my leg," Jack groused.
"Think yourself lucky they repaired everything else, Jack," Daniel told him. "You should be dead right now. I think you should be happy with a headache, some bruises and a fracture."
"At least they repaired your broken ribs," Janet pointed out.
"But how could they repair some things and not others?" Jack asked.
"I have no idea how it works. Lya just said that they only repaired the things that had to be fixed. She didn't want your parents to be too suspicious."
"Like coming back from the dead isn't suspect," Jack muttered.
Jocelyn got to her feet. "Well, speaking of your parents, I better go and get Adam from them so they can go and get some rest."
"Thanks, Joc," Sam told her friend. "I really appreciate you looking after him."
"We should all get going so the Colonel can get some rest," Janet told the rest of the group.
Daniel mumbled his disapproval but followed the General out the door. Teal'c paused a moment, bowing slightly to his friends before he too left the room.
"I'll be in to check on you later," Janet told Jack. "Try and get some rest though, Jack."
He nodded, watching her close the door behind her, before turning to look at his wife. She'd been quiet while their friends had been visiting and he could tell that there was something on her mind. "Are you sure you're not hurt, Sam?" he asked her.
"I'm fine, Jack. I was a little shaken up at the time, but I'm okay now."
"Then what's wrong?"
She shook her head. "Nothing." She saw him give her a look, clearly not believing her. "Why didn't you tell me you'd signed an Advance Directive?" she finally asked.
Jack sighed. "You were pregnant, Sam. I knew it would upset you and I knew you would argue with me. You didn't need that kind of aggravation."
"Then why didn't you tell me when I'd had the baby?" She saw his raised eyebrow. "Oh, right, the depression." She sighed, seeing his point, but needing him to see hers. "It was devastating to read that letter and have no idea it was coming, Jack."
"I'm sorry, Angel, but there was just no good time to tell you early on and then I kinda put it out of my head. Everything was going so well... guess that should have been a clue that something was gonna happen, huh?"
Sam gave a tired smile, but said nothing. Jack, seeing that the conversation was upsetting her, decided to change the subject. “Where’s Brett?” he asked. "Everyone else has been in here except him. Was he injured?"
Tears welled in Sam’s eyes. She’d been preparing for this moment since he woke, but she still didn’t know how to tell him. She was saved from doing it though as he looked at her and knew.
“God, no,” Jack moaned, his heart stopping as he realized what Sam couldn’t say.
“They tried,” she told him, her voice choked with emotion.
Jack tried to turn away from her, ignoring the pain in his leg.
Sam placed a hand on his arm, wanting to console him. “Jack?”
“Just give me some time alone, Sam.”
“Don’t shut me out,” she pleaded. “Let me help you.”
“You can help me by getting the hell out!” he shouted. He regretted it immediately as her face crumbled in pain, but she’d fled before he could utter another word. “Great one, O’Neill,” he groaned. He hadn’t meant to shout at her, but he just needed some time to get his head around the fact one of his friends was dead. He’d lost so many good men over the years, but it never got any easier. If anything it grew worse, eating away at him that maybe he was the cause. If he’d been a better CO, a better soldier, surely they would still be alive?
*****
Janet found Sam five minutes later in the ladies toilets. She watched, unnoticed, for a few moments as her friend washed her face and rinsed her mouth with water. "You okay?" she eventually asked, as she saw her friend straighten.
Sam jumped in surprise but quickly turned away under the guise of getting some paper towel. "Fine."
"So how come you just threw up?"
Sam sighed, drying her face and hands and throwing the paper towel in the bin. "I told Jack about Brett," she eventually replied.
"Ah," Janet murmured, knowingly. "I gather he didn't take it too well?"
Sam gave a bitter snort. "Depends if yelling at me and ordering me out of his room is taking it well." She sniffled. "Why does he have to choose now to revert back to closing off his feelings? Doesn't he realize I need to be there for him just as much as he needs it?"
"Just give him some time, Sam. He's just lost one of his friends and a team member, not to mention the fact that he was on his deathbed. He's not going to bounce straight back to his old self." Janet gave her friend's shoulder a squeeze. "Why don't you and Adam go home and get some sleep in your own beds? Things will look better when you're not fighting exhaustion." She was expecting a fight, so was surprised when Sam nodded her head.
"You're right. I'll just go and get Adam ready."
*****
When Janet entered Jack's room a few minutes later, he was staring listlessly up at the ceiling. She walked to the end of the bed and picked up his chart. She glanced through it, ensuring that there were no problems before looking up at her patient. He was looking back at her.
"Am I gonna live, Doc?" he asked.
"For now. I haven't decided whether that's a good thing or not yet."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "What'd I do to piss you off?" he asked, blunt as ever.
She glared at him for a moment. "Where do you get off treating Sam like that? Do you know what she's been through? She turned off the life-support like you wanted, thought she was effectively killing you and then, when the Nox come and bring you back, you wake up and treat her like shit! If you weren't so badly injured, I'd be tempted to kick your ass!"
Jack was tempted to grin at the feisty doctor, except he was sure she'd make good her threat if he did. He could always rely on Janet to give him a good kick up the backside - metaphorically speaking, of course - when he needed it. Instead he settled for, "you always treat your critically injured patients like this?"
Janet relaxed visibly, knowing she'd gotten through to him. "You're stable now. The bedside manner changes when I know you're gonna live."
Jack nodded, watching as she walked over to the door. "Thanks, Doc."
She nodded, not needing to say anything else.
*****
Sam walked slowly up the corridor, having gotten Adam ready to leave. She'd left him waiting with Jocelyn, not wanting him to hear his parents fighting. She sighed. Her emotions were all over the place. Relief warring with anger and hurt, she just couldn't separate them. She was so tired and she knew that the only way she was going to get on top of it was to get away from him and get some rest. Maybe then she could be more patient with him.
Steeling herself for another tongue lashing, she turned the corner and walked into the room. Jack looked up as soon as she entered. He looked at her, seeing the exhaustion and hurt fighting with a myriad of other emotions on her pale face.
"Hi," he greeted, his voice tentative.
She nodded her reply, too tired to work out his mood. She just wanted to say what she came to say and get out of there. "I just wanted to let you know that we were going home. Adam hasn't slept in his own crib for two days and I haven't slept in a bed for that long either. I'll bring him back to see you in the morning." She turned and started for the door without a further word.
“Sam?” he called. She stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Angel, please?” he begged.
She turned around and it was then that he saw the tears. He held out his hand to her, his eyes pleading with her to accept. Slowly, she moved forward, reaching out and touching his fingers with her own. He grasped her hand, holding on to it for dear life and tugged her towards him. She went to him with a sob, burying her head in his chest.
“God, I’m sorry, baby,” he choked. “I am so sorry.”
“I just want to be there for you, Jack,” Sam whispered brokenly. “I just want to help you.”
“I know, Angel, I know. I need you or there’s no way I’ll get through this.”
“I’m here, Jack,” she assured him.
They clung to each other, as if they'd drown if they let go.
Daniel sighed from his position in the doorway. He was glad that his friends had realized that they needed each other. Neither of them would be able to cope apart. He turned to look at the woman he loved, seeing the tears in her eyes as she watched Sam and Jack. “It makes you realize how precious life is, doesn’t it?” he whispered.
Janet nodded, allowing a tear to fall. “Yeah, it does.”
“Makes you think about not wasting opportunities,” he continued, trying to get her attention.
She looked at him then, unsure about what he was saying. “Do you think you’ve wasted opportunities?”
He stepped closer, reaching out and grasping her hand. “I think I should have asked you to marry me a long time ago.”
Janet’s hand went to her mouth, tears increasing. “Daniel, are you... are you proposing?”
He grinned. “You want me to get down on one knee?” He did, keeping hold of her hand as he kneeled before her. “Janet Fraiser, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she replied immediately as the tears started to fall. She pulled him up and into her arms. “Of course I'll marry you. I love you so much!” she cried.
“I love you too,” he replied.
*****
No greater love, no higher call
The angels can sing, but they don't know it all
Heaven may have, streets made of gold,
But they don't have you like I have you to hold
And like a prayer, you're everywhere
That's how I know there's
No greater love
*****
Story Notes: Songbook Series 28: AUTHORS NOTES: A huge thanks to my two beta gal's, Kes and Jenn! And to Sue for all her medical input.
DEDICATION: This is for Sue who, in helping me make the last part medically sound, gave me the idea for this part. Thanks hon!
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated and cherished.
DEDICATION: This is for Sue who, in helping me make the last part medically sound, gave me the idea for this part. Thanks hon!
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated and cherished.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]