The fish had a surprisingly good taste, though they were unlike anything they'd eaten before. The cook had prepared them especially for the Colonel and the Major, who had come into the mess late for dinner after seeing off Jacob Carter through the Alpha Site gate. The departure had been a warm-hearted affair, in contrast to the arrival early that morning, and Teal'c smiled his approval from a distance. He was almost certain he knew why Jacob's irrational ire had been directed at his daughter, and although he would never ask, he was itching to know what O'Neill had done and said to bring about the transformation.
"So, shall we tell our friends now?" asked Sam, as she downed the last of her coffee. Real Italian coffee, that was - something the Alpha site catering staff prided themselves on. So aromatic that the tiny portions would still be making their senses buzz three hours later.
"Actually, we need to talk first." replied Jack, looking nervous for the first time since he returned. "I know you're dying to know what happened between Dad and me, but I've been thinking about it and there are a few things you've got to decide on first."
"Now you're spooking me, Jack." said Sam. "What's up?"
"Let's take a walk – not too far, just so's we can be in private." Jack grunted as he reached for his crutches. He got up awkwardly and Sam caught a faint gasp from him with the effort. But she knew better than to argue, and held open the door for him.
After a few minutes, they sat side by side on a fallen tree trunk a few hundred metres from the camp. Myriads of stars were visible in the velvet blackness.
"So, what happened with you and Dad, then?" she asked.
He was silent for a moment, and then started quietly. "When we got through, it was on a world where the Gate was surrounded by lakes and trees. There were quite a few fishermen around – gotta hand it to Selmak, she knows how to pick `em!
Anyway, we walked aways and found a secluded spot and stood by the shore. Then I asked Selmak to return Jacob to himself."
"What happened then?"
Jack hesitated. "He hit me. I suspected he was going to, so I let him. Figured he had to get it out of his system."
Sam was appalled. "He did what? I mean, hard?"
"Oh yeah!" he smiled. "Jacob's packing a mean right hook there. Anyhow, I fell down."
"Were you hurt? I can't see any bruises."
"God knows why. He slugged me right across the jaw. Anyhow, I reckoned I had it coming sooner or later." He motioned slightly with his arm for her not to interrupt, and continued.
"Then he seemed to go rigid and twitched a little for a few minutes. I learned later that Selmak told him she was ashamed of him and was threatening to find another host as soon as they got back to Tok'ra world, wherever that is now. Then after a while, Jacob sort of came out of it and helped me up. He apologised for hitting me when I couldn't fight back, but not for showing me how much he cared about you. You have that effect on people, ya know?" he grinned.
"Then we sat a while and I asked him if he'd listen to me. He agreed and I told him what I'm gonna tell you. And if you feel differently about things afterwards, I'll understand. It'll hurt, but I will understand. You also gotta know that this is probably the only day in my life when I'm gonna unload about myself."
Sam nodded and waited for him to continue.
"My parents didn't get on. I think I was the reason they got wed in the first place, but all I can recall from when I was small is them rowing night times. He was the easy going one, but that wound her up even more. He was easy going, but he was a coward and one day when I came back from school, he'd up and gone. Just like that. Ma was shocked and cursed him, but I could see why he went. I was eight years old, and suddenly we had no money coming in. Ma had to get a job and I did paper rounds and any kind of work to earn pocket money, otherwise I'd go without. By the time I was a teenager, she'd transferred her anger from him to me, so I stayed away as much as possible until late at nights.
I was mean too, and didn't take any crap from other kids, even older ones after I discovered that I could face them down. Beating the shit out of them was easy too; all it needed was a bigger determination to win. And it was kind of inevitable that I'd find easier ways of making money than working for peanuts, so I was stealing wherever I thought I could get away with it. Got a few warnings from the cops, but I was invincible. By the time I was sixteen, I quit school – it all seemed too easy to learn things, and I couldn't be bothered with what didn't seem useful. Then I came home one night, to find Ma had gone as well. She said she'd found someone who meant something to her, and reckoned I was old enough to fend for myself. I thought she was right about that, and didn't try to find out where she'd gone.
Then, when I was seventeen, I went with a gang of older guys and we broke into the local Army Base `cos we'd heard that the pay safe wasn't well guarded and it would be a cinch. I was still small and fit enough to get places they couldn't, and it was me that ended up inside the office that night. Then all hell broke loose outside – what I didn't know was that two of the guys had guns and started shooting at a guard who'd seen us. I hid in the office, but a squad of soldiers found me and did the boot dance on me before an officer called a halt. I had busted ribs and legs."
Sam was by now staring wide-eyed at him, hardly believing what she'd heard. Jack saw this in the faint moonlight and smiled lop- sidedly. "It gets *better*."
"So, that's how I was found guilty of armed robbery and sentenced to six to ten. I didn't think I had any choice but to learn how to get even tougher in jail. You remember when we were in that prison on that planet where Linea got us out, and Danny asked how come I knew that prison life is based on power? Well this was how.
And that's the first thing you've got to know about me, Sam – I've got a prison record that's still in the files. I'm not credit-worthy and the consequences of being had even for jaywalking are that little bit tougher for me than the average shopaholic.
But to continue. My lawyer reckoned that I could counter-sue the Army for use of excessive force and so on, so after about eight months of prison life – three in the hospital, five beating the crap out of anyone who wanted me for his *special friend* - I got this visit from an officer who offered me a deal. I could drop the charges and join up, and if I was a model soldier, and kept my *talents* up, there'd be interesting but challenging work for me in due course. Anything had to be better than life inside, so I was drafted into the Air Force and four months later was shipped out to `Nam. That was where I discovered that prison would probably have been the better choice, but there was no way back.
It was hell on Earth. Guys who didn't want to be there and just goofed off, leaving it to other guys who cared enough about their country and fellow men to try to keep going. Our forward base was overrun by NVA one day and only five of us made it back. To my surprise they gave me my first medal. I didn't deserve it – everyone shoulda got one for what we went through. But they thought I'd got an edge that others didn't have – I still don't see it that way.
`Nam was full of missions – nice things like being forward fire controller to bring down HE or napalm onto troop concentrations, or sometimes just villages that might have been a threat. I don't know to this day how many deaths I was responsible for, but at the time it was OK – us or them – and I kept going.
Then after the war, I actually got to fly a plane for the first time. Now that I did enjoy, and I was good at it too. T-38's, F-4's, F-104's, and finally U-2's. Saw the world, learned how to kill more people. All in the name of patriotism and democracy. You ever heard them say that people who don't believe in democracy ought to be shot? That was me, Sam.
I met Sarah in '78 after I'd been promoted to Lieutenant, and we just kind of hung around together at first. Then one night, history repeated itself and Charlie was on the way. We never really seemed to discuss it, and getting married was the obvious thing. I did love her, though, and kept glimpsing the white picket fence thing.
Then they reckoned my ground-based skills were too good to waste, so I got more training and parachuted into the middle of the Iraq – Iran war to find out if the Iraqis really were going nuclear. Whether they were or not, my `chute failed to open in time and I broke my back on landing. It took them nine days to find me. The upside was I got to see Charlie growing up for the best part of a year, and even Sarah seemed happy. Then it was back to active service and eventually the Gulf War.
I'm sorry now that I gave that guy Cromwell a hard time five years ago – you know, the one who fell into that black hole through the Gate. He pulled out the unit and left me behind in Iraq. That's where I discovered that no matter how tough you think you are, there will come a time when enough pain and humiliation will make you give up. I was damn near to killing myself after four months when it was suddenly all over. Sara wouldn't let Charlie see me for three months after I was retrieved. She was magnificent, though, and was probably the only reason I wanted to get home at first, even though I treated her like shit.
You know most of the rest. I know that Danny's told you about Charlie, and I'm sorry, but I still can't talk about it to you in detail. I'll never stop blaming myself for it, even if Sarah has told me she doesn't hate me any more.
You know too why they picked me for that first Abydos mission. I was ready to give up for good. But gradually I had something else to live for. At first it was Danny, then the whole Stargate thing, then defending the Earth, and then…… you."
Sam reached across and took his hand, keeping hold even though he didn't respond.
"You know when I fell in love with you, Sam?" She shook her head slightly. "When I'd recovered enough from Antarctica to realise that I had been dying in there, and thought you were Sarah at the end. You pretended to be her, and were going to die with me. But I knew that we'd only stay alive together on subsequent missions if we stuck with the regs, and didn't let emotions get in the way of what we had to do. It killed me to see you with other guys, but you gotta believe that I only wanted to see you happy. I never realised that you felt the same until Anise's machine, and even then we had to go on like before.
And when I woke up in the infirmary with you holding my hand, and giving me our *ground rules*, I knew that I couldn't put this off any longer. So for the last time Sam, I'm warning you that I'm 15 years older than you, I'm grouchy, I'm jealous about other guys wanting you, I'm never going to be rich, you'll likely be a widow one day, I'm….."
Sam silenced him with a hand placed gently across his mouth, taking it away instantly when he flinched from his sore jaw. "Jack, I already said *I will*, and I meant it. I realised when I went on a few dates a while back that I wasn't fooling anybody, least of all myself. I've been in love with you for a long time too, and now we can act on it, nothing's going to stop us." She laughed. "We've spent a lot of the last few years in a tent together, so I know what living with a down-and-out like you is!" Suddenly she got serious again.
"I really don't know whether we can have children, and remember I'm a young 37 compared to you, old man! But the risks are higher, even if I do get pregnant. Do you still want me?"
His answer was to hold her face softly and place his lips gently against hers for what seemed like forever.
"So what happened after you told Dad all this?" she asked, reluctantly drawing back.
"We sat for a long time and eventually got round to fishing." said Jack.
"But how? You didn't have any fishing gear when you left this morning!"
"I used one of the crutches with my yo-yo tied to the end. The plastic disc makes quite a float! Your dad thought I was crazy at first. Don't know how he got that idea! But I explained the philosophy of fishing to him, you know - how you gotta believe you're going to catch something, and he eventually gave it a try. You've just eaten the result."
"You mean to tell me you caught two large fish with a yo-yo and a crutch?"
"Well, not exactly. Another fisherman was laughing so much at what we were doing that he gave us the fish. So you see, the philosophy works! They were nice, weren't they? But I can feel that they were definitely WFN quality!"
"I know what you mean." said Sam quietly, gently leaning to one side.
"So do you still want to go and tell Danny and Teal'c our good news?" asked Jack nervously.
"Yeah sure, you betcha. But do you need me to dress your wounds first? It must be getting uncomfortable."
"I'd like that…. Mrs. O'Neill."
Despite the dim light, her wide grin was clearly visible. She placed her hand on his elbow as he limped back to the camp, and they struck up the same duet that had started the contretemps with Jacob.
"Have you heard? It's in the stars.
Next July we collide with Mars……"
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Story Notes: Email: ted.sadler@ntlworld.com
Archive: SJD Yes
Spoilers: None
Status: complete
Sequel to: Shall We Have a Little Talk?
Copyright © 2003 Ted Sadler
Archive: SJD Yes
Spoilers: None
Status: complete
Sequel to: Shall We Have a Little Talk?
Copyright © 2003 Ted Sadler
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]