Her clothes were dripping, and her hands, raw from knocking on the hard wood in front of her. It had been pouring outside. Around her, Never settling, not wanting it to. She couldn't *stop* thinking. Spinning, rotating in her mind, seeping out of her ears and crudely onto the floor. He'd asked her to marry her. And she'd accepted... Accept, the *He* wasn't him. And she could do nothing but accept. Accept as a way out. For both of them.
She couldn't stop memorizing the stilled occasion, for want of a better phrase. She could be seen, lost in hells' fury, escaping for a way out. This was her way out?
Her eyes in inappropriate redness, glaring, scared, searching quiet desperation. She knocked again, knuckles barely scraping. Finally it opened.
And *he* stood there. The one without the ring. And now, maybe never, a claim on her self, her being. Yet her heart lingered for him.
"Jack?" It escaped only as a whisper. "What are you doing here?" No 'Carter'. No 'Damn'. Nothing. Like a red ember he stood, bottle in hand, frown in a bitter glory. "I've been in love...with *you*. Since the beginning." Four years of foreplay, twisted jealously, possession, capture, survival, whatever you call a four-year emotional dance between two souls. Carelessly linked by their own need for each other. To be around one another.
Two souls inextricably linked, and yet in blissful denial.
"Why tell me now?" His face, full of shock, hope, his tongue lingering on a promise, a sign of commitment. Why now? Why not before? Why not ever... Why?
"Joe asked me to marry him."
Two souls stood fading into each other. Unsure, like teenagers, scared like old soldiers. Scared of *that* boundary.
In the course of what seemed seconds, years past, future and present.
"Tell me you love me, Jack?" Wiping and mixed rain and tears from her lips, she prevailed. Strongly insistent. Prodding, needing to hear it.
"Please?"
One problem.
He wasn't ready to admit it. For both their sake's.
For fear of her wasting her life on him, For fear of him opening up, loving her like he's wanted to, forever, For fear of her loving him completely, without judging her feelings, keeping them in check. And for fear, of him losing that shadowed distance that he'd built around his emotional walls.
To save her. And protect him.
So, he did what he had to. For fear.
He lost her gaze for a time. "I've never loved you, Sam." As if calling her by her name, would solidify the facade. Make it seem real.
And it broke her. As intended.
But he couldn't see her tears. The rain had erased them...
In order to let the bird fly, you must lie, and create a lie *so* real, *so* true and Believable that it tears into her, shreds her and pushes her into making. The Right Choice.
So that you don't have to take the chance...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I've been away from the writing boar for a while, and this actually happened to me about two days before I stopped writing...except without the married part.
Just thought it would serve my muse. Please feed :)
Athena
Story Notes: Author's notes: Been away a few, have NO muse....
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]