Sam was sitting by the lake, watching the light fading from the day.
O'Neill didn't approach her immediately. He watched her for a few minutes, trying to gauge her mood. She didn't look happy. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, her head resting on them, her eyes......He didn't know what to make of the expression in them. Self-loathing ? Sam had no reason to feel that way about herself. Instinct told him that this had something to do with Narim....or Martouf. The Tokra had come with the party who had removed Klorel from Skaara. Both men had spent the recent hours dancing attendance to Sam, until she had made her excuses and left the reception. O'Neill had slipped out after her. He was certain that he wasn't the only one who would try to find her, but he had the advantage over her other admirers. O'Neill knew her habits, they didn't. Even on an alien world she would seek a quiet place out of doors. Somewhere away from most other people. He'd followed his instincts and here she was.
"Hey, Carter!" he called out to her.
She scrambled to her feet, "Sir?"
"Relax, take a load off."
He slumped down onto the grass and indicated that she should join him.
"Something I can do for you, sir?"
"No, just thought I'd get some air. Watch the sunset....find out if you're OK."
"Me?" She seemed surprised. Then she gave a sad smile, "You got a couple of hours?"
"Is that your answer?"
Her eyes searched his face, as if doubting his sincerity.
"No," she admitted, eventually.
"Then shoot."
Again, she hesitated. He was making her uncomfortable. O'Neill considered backing off. After all he was her CO, maybe there were subjects she just didn't want to discuss with him. Except......he had thought that their relationship went beyond just the military. Or did she consider his request as some kind of order?
"Nice planet," he said, trying to jump-start the conversation.
"Yes."
"Sam?"
He placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it gently. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but he wasn't quite prepared for the response. She seemed to relax at his touch, leaning unconsciously towards him.
"Sir, can I ask you a personal question?" she asked, suddenly.
"Sure."
"How do you see me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Narim thinks I'm some kind of angel, Martouf wants me to be Jolinar. It's getting kinda hard to live up to their expectations."
It was O'Neill's turn to hesitate. He couldn't tell her the truth, could he? No. He couldn't. His feelings were irrelevant. If she did love one of them he wouldn't stand in her way. Sam deserved a little happiness.
"Carter, they barely know you."
"That's what worries me. Say I have a relationship with one of them and I can't be the angel or the lost love. What does that leave me with? "
"Samantha Carter. She's bright, funny, compassionate and if I may say, incredibly beautiful. I can't think of any reason why anyone would think different....even if you do like pineapple on your pizzas and talk to your plants. At least Narim would know what that Schrodinger stuff was about," he heard himself answer.
"He thinks quantum mechanics is...quaint," Sam smiled. "And who am I to tell him any different?"
"If it's any consolation, you've taught me more than I ever wanted to know."
"You're welcome, sir. "
"One day I might even understand it."
"I like explaining things to you. It makes me look at problem in a whole new way.....breaking it down to basic principles means that I don't miss anything."
Sam blushed and looked down at the ground. O'Neill placed a finger under her chin and raised her face, so her eyes met his. The colour in her cheeks seemed to burn more brightly.
"You still haven't answered my question," she whispered, "What about you, sir? I told Narim that there wasn't anyone else, not in the way he thought, but...."
"Sam, if you want to be with Martouf, be with him. Don't let anything stop you," O'Neill interrupted. Damn, but he sounded convincing. The very thought of Sam and Martouf together made him feel physically sick.
"There is a third option," she added.
"I don't understand."
"You?"
"Me?"
He had to question her. There was no way she meant what she just said....was there? His own self-doubts kicked in. He compared himself to both other men and found himself lacking. For a start, they were both way smarter than he was.
"Sam, I'm flattered, really I am. But I'm not who you want. I can't be," He told her, gently.
"Why not?" she demanded.
Why not? For all of the reasons he had just listed. Martouf would read her poetry, treat her like a princess to be loved and cherished. Narim could teach her things beyond her wildest dreams. Speak to her in the scientific language she knew best. What could Jack O'Neill do for her? He was an old soldier with more emotional hang ups than he could count.
Her lower lip started to quiver and O'Neill had the almost overwhelming urge to kiss it. His features softened. She was beautiful. The light of the setting sun reflected off her hair, turning it to fire. Her eyes were twin sapphires burning their way into his soul. Tears slipped down her cheeks. He knew, in that second, that he was breaking her heart. The thought wrenched at his own soul. Silence fell. O'Neill found himself shredding blades of grass. Anything to keep his hands occupied. For perhaps the first time, he couldn't work out what she was thinking.
"I'm sorry," he told her.
He reached out his hand and touched her face.
"It's OK," she shrugged, "I just thought....."
"Yeah."
"But, you're right, we can't...."
"No, we can't."
"Right."
"Right."
"OK."
"O......mmmbf."
Her face had been moving closer to his and his last words were cut off as her lips touched his. O'Neill tried to stop himself reacting.....for all of about three seconds. Suddenly unnerved, Sam started to draw back, but he pulled her into his arms. He wasn't going to let her get away. She had seen through all his excuses, straight to the damaged organ he called a heart. Sam knew him far too well....which was probably the point she had been trying to make. He smiled beneath her lips, good job one of them was smart.
"Sam, are you sure about this....I mean really sure?" Jack asked her, pulling back for just a second.
Sam reached out and brushed the hair away from his face. Her smile was brilliant. He'd never seen her smile that way for anyone else. Not Narim, not Martouf...just him. He must have done something right if this wonderful woman was willing to love him.
"Yes I am," she reassured.
"We could get into so much trouble," he reminded her.
"It'll be worth it."
Enough logic, he badly wanted to kiss her again. More than just kiss her, but he was wary of moving too quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her away.
"Samantha?"
It was Martouf's voice. Sam immediately tensed. They could hear sounds of his approach, but he wasn't in sight. Grabbing her hand, Jack pulled Sam to her feet.
"Let's get outta here," he whispered. "Tell me if I'm wrong but, right now, three is definitely a crowd."
Sam giggled and he drew her close for one sweet kiss, before they disappeared into the dusk.
The End
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