Getting Technical by Matt

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Story Notes: SEASON/SPOILERS: Any/none

FEEDBACK: Always welcome at matteabrit@hotmail.com or AZSJFan@gateworld.net

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The word used within this fic is quite possibly the creation of my crazy family, who uses it on a semi-regular basis.

THANKS TO: SaRa and my other LJ friends for their comments and suggestions.

DEDICATION: To everyone on the list whose minds sunk to the gutter when I mentioned hands and weapons ;)

ARCHIVE: SJD - yes please

Web version at: http://www.angelfire.com/trek/matteabrit/SJ/technical.html

It was unlike anything that she had ever had the misfortune to touch before and, despite a repeated shaking of her fingers, the stuff refused to disappear. It clung to her skin; the gelatinous pale green mess was everywhere. It was disgusting. It was.

"Gigsy." The word sprung unbidden from her lips.

Her commanding officer stopped and turned. His right hand rested on the barrel of his P90 while his left whipped off his sunglasses so that he could stare at her better. "Gigsy, Carter?" he asked in disbelief. "What the hell kind of expression is that?"

"Um." She had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Gigsy?" he repeated.

"I think I picked it up from one of Cassie's friends," she admitted sheepishly.

"From a teenager? For crying out loud, Carter. What happened to some gloriously scientific term for." He wandered closer to her and looked down. "What the hell is that anyway?"

By now their team-mates were also staring at her outstretched hand. "How did you get that?" Daniel asked.

"I think it was when we were in the woods earlier." She grimaced.

Jack turned to Teal'c. "Do you recognise this stuff? Is it poisonous?"

"I do not believe so, O'Neill."

He spun back to her. "Okay, then just clean it up and let's move on. I'd like to get to the gate today."

"I've been trying to, Sir," she replied, "but it's clinging. It's very unpleasant, Sir, it's."

"Don't tell me," O'Neill replied wearily, "it's gigsy."

Daniel glared at him. "Stop being an ass, Jack."

The colonel blinked. "Excuse me? I'm not the one using kiddie words."

She snorted and pulled out a weapon. "With all due respect, Sir, what's this?"

"A zat," he replied, the tone of his voice implying that the answer was obvious.

"Teal'c?"

"It is, in fact, a zat'nik'tel, Major Carter," the Chulak native responded.

She was on a roll. "Furthermore, Sir, my experiments are NOT doohickeys."

Jack threw up his hands in despair. "It was one time, Carter."

Now it was Daniel's turn. "While we're at it, Jack, my rocks as you call them, are artefacts."

"What is this? Pick on your commanding officer day?"

"Of course not, Sir." She walked up to him, placed a hand on his chest and gently slid it down his jacket. A casual observer might have considered her action improper; however it didn't take more than a moment for Daniel and Teal'c to see what she was doing. "In fact, we are merely trying to show how much you influence us by introducing new words to our vocabulary." Jack was left astounded as she grinned and winked at him, before stepping back and turning to their team mates. "Now, I believe the gate is ten clicks in this direction. The colonel would like to get back to it today."

Only after he watched the others move out did Jack glance down at his jacket. Any warm and smug thoughts he may have had over the fact that she had touched him disappeared when he saw what her hand had left behind. The gelatinous blobs were slowly sliding down the cloth material, congealing in lumps. It was truly horrible. With a sigh, Jack realised he'd have to admit a new word into his simple vocabulary; there really was no other way to describe it.

"Ugh, gigsy."

Carter was so very dead.

FINIS

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