She found it stuck in her closed laptop when she opened it on her kitchen table that evening. She had no idea how he'd slipped it in there, but then again he *had* been in Black Ops. And there were no questions in her mind about who had placed the note there. Teal'c wouldn't have done it: it was entirely not his style. Daniel was still acclimating himself to his old life on earth, and he wasn't that sneaky anyway. Jonas would have printed it out, tracked her down in her lab and asked her to verify the list's contents. Someone in the lab would have just posted it on the door. No, she knew it was *him* even before she saw the…Annotations. In bright red ink.
She closed her eyes and wiped a hand across her face. Lists like this were nothing new, so why did she dread reading any of the neat markings around the crisp Times New Roman font?
"You know damn, well why," her mind told her. She told it to go to hell. Her computer chimed as the system finally booted, drawing her attention back to her laptop and the 8.5 by 11 resting on the keyboard. She groaned and picked up the paper.
"You Might Be a Physics Major..." the paper started. She rolled her eyes automatically before realizing he would have probably, and accurately, predicted that response. She noted with some amusement that "Major" had been underlined heavily.
" 1. If you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically." Well…she *had* a life. It just so happened that it revolved around Physics. She snorted. She'd never really agreed with that one while she'd been a student either. Hell, *everything* in the world revolved around Physics! They were the rules of the Uni- woah there….way, way, WAY too geeky even for her. She shook herself and forced herself to continue reading.
" 2. If you enjoy pain." Well that wasn't true. She'd been blasted, frozen, fried, beaten, emotionally traumatized and generally whumped enough to know that there was the pain of a difficult problem, and then there was *real* pain. " 3. If you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division. " OK that one wasn't funny. And it didn't happen…that often.
"4. If you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force." She winced and felt heat rising on her cheeks. In his neat writing he'd noted "remember Cassie?" next to the entry. She groaned. But honestly, it wasn't like she could be expected to let her `niece' learn not-entirely correct science when she was right there! Cassie had grasped the concept and that's what mattered anyway. She was just ahead of the game when the rest of the kids learned about centripetal forces in high school.
"5. If you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator." Ok, that wasn't a fair one either. The next one wasn't much better. "6. If when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major." He'd drawn a depressingly accurate reproduction of one of her stick figure doodles holding a hand mirror.
"7. If it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer." He'd circled this one and had commented again. "Have you been outside in the past week? Missions don't count, besides we haven't been on any. Hate to tell you this, but it *has* been 70 this week. Checked with Jonas even. And you know him and the Weather Channel." It was 70 outside? She looked through her kitchen window into the rapidly fading light of day. She blinked a few times. Ooookay. She'd missed that one. The note had a star next to it. She wondered what that meant. Take special note of this one? She frowned and read the next one, squawking loudly when she read the entry and the note.
"8. If you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver. - You *so* do this. Don't deny it either Major. We've all heard you in the shower. Can't really blame you though, That Richard Dean Anderson guy is really quite a looker," He'd even doodled a smirky smiley face next to the comment. Her eyes narrowed and she fumed silently.
"9. If you always do homework on Friday nights." This time the Colonel's note read "I bet you were that kid," This too, was starred. She moved on and this time she did yell "hey!" aloud in her empty house. "10. If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water. – So that's why your cooking skills are the way they are" She read the notes quickly now, slightly annoyed and embarrassed at the same time.
"11. If you think in "math." - Gee that wouldn't surprise me. 12. If you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges. – So, Does it? 13. If you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function. – you know, sometimes I wonder about you science types." Her cheeks heated as she read the next entry.
"14. If you have a pet named after a scientist." Shit. Oh. God. "15. If you laugh at jokes about mathematicians. 16. If the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment." She was definitely pegged there. well, not with the last one. He'd put not so little arrows pointing at entries 14 and 15. She groaned. His note next to entry 16 asked if PETA repossessing her Cat was the cover-story she'd used to explain what had happened to her cat after he'd been sent to live with the Tollan. She rolled her eyes.
Entry 17, " If you can translate English into Binary." Passed without comment but entry 18 " If you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit." " Had another not-so subtle jibe at the number of hours she worked.
"19. If you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab." Her eyes slid over to her leather bomber jacket which was sling over the back of the chair at the end of the table. She glared at the note. She had ridden her motorcycle into work. It was a perfectly legitimate excuse. Besides she looked good in leather and she knew it. Even more, she thought wickedly, A certain *someone* also knew she looked good in leather.
"20. If you are completely addicted to caffeine." She closed her eyes and set the coffee mug she'd been about to sip from down on the table and glared at the paper. His note didn't improve her mood either. "Sometimes the Doc and I worry about the amount of blood in Danny's and your caffeine systems." Well, she could console herself that she wasn't *nearly* as bad as Daniel was. He seemed to be making up for the lost time spent as a great, floaty, squid, thing.
" 21. If you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.- You know Carter, I think that at the rate you're going you are actually accelerating Entropy. Slow down and have mercy on the rest of us, will ya?" She blinked. He'd used the word "Entropy" and in correct context too. Cool. He'd marked this entry with a star was well. She moved over the next few entries. "22. If you consider ANY non-science course "easy." 23. If when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe." The last comment had generated yet another comment. "Wish I'd known that in high school physics. My teacher probably would have let a few assignments slide with that sort of comment," She blinked again. He'd taken physics in high school? Curiouser and Curiouser. The next comment had been heavily circled and had lots of little arrows pointing at it.
"24. If the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use." She snorted. She had fun, she thought defensively. "25. If you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier." The entry had a giant question mark next to it and a puzzled smiley face. She chuckled, slightly peeved mood lightening somewhat. She did laugh out loud with the next entry and it's comment.
Penciled in next to "26. If you understood more than five of these indicators." Was "(Or you happen to KNOW a Physics Major)" Again, "Major" was heavily underlined. Finally, she was at the end of the paper.
"27. If you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door." Well, she wasn't going to post *this* copy on her lab door. Maybe her fridge. A final arrow caught her attention. Next to it were two stars, much like the ones on the earlier entries. She flipped the paper over and found he'd left her a note on the back of the paper as well. "Hey Carter, hopefully you aren't too angry and/or on your way over here to kill me or anything, but I'd like to have a chat about numbers 9 and 21. Give me a call, even if it's late, ok?" She tapped her fingers against the tabletop. To call or not. She looked at her watch. It was only 2100. Sighing, she fished her cell out of her coat pocket and dialed his number.
"O'Neill."
"So 7, 9 and 21, huh?"
She could practically hear his sheepish grin. "Yeah. It has come to my attention that tomorrow is Friday night."
"Yes?" She asked cautiously.
"I was thinking that instead of analyzing anything, you should be here. I'm thinking barbeque with a couple of cold ones. Jonas, Daniel, T, you, me and the *gorgeous* weather we've been having but you've been missing out on." She smiled.
"So that's 9 and 7," She said, "What's 21 about?"
"You work too hard and I think you should take a break before you wear yourself out. And I don't want to hasten the heat-death of the universe, so I am doing us all a huge cosmic favor by getting you to slow down for an hour or two." He was all cheek and knew it. The grin on his face *had* to be huge. She sighed mentally, knowing she'd agree.
"My work is impor-" She didn't get further.
"I know. I never said it wasn't. But honestly, I don't want you working to the point where you can't anymore. Work is fine and damned important. But you *can* take a break once in awhile, ya know?" She closed her eyes and sighed.
"Yes, I know" she said finally. "So how did you know I would call?" He laughed on the other end of the line.
"I knew you'd be working tonight. Either at home or in the lab, you would be." Damn. He knew her too well.
"You know," she said slyly, "There is still the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle."
"Doesn't apply to Newtonian mechanics, Carter."
Woah. Where had *THAT* come from.
"Carter?" Oh yeah. Phone. In her hand. Woah. Uh... Must recover...
"Yes," she said slowly, "But the more precisely a position is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known,"
"So in other words I shouldn't be so damned sure that you were going to work tonight?"
"Something like that,"
"Yeah, but I was right."
"You could have been wrong, Sir."
"Nah. Last I checked you weren't a sub-atomic something or other. And you Physics types seem pretty predicable to me."
"Oh really?" She arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Well I mean, no offense but it's like pulling teeth to get you away from your lab sometimes. You wouldn't just drop everything and hang out, you're all for order and planning. You had that "I am going to work at home tonight" kind of look when I left."
Sam bit her lip as he spoke and looked over the list. She made a decision. Time to give the Colonel a Physics lesson. "I'll come over tomorrow…Do you have beer there or should I pick some up? How about a movie?" She asked boldly.
"What?"
"I'm proving Uncertainty. Unless you have plans…?"
"No! No. No plans. Er, I have a few in the fridge."
"I'll see you in 15 then." Sam hung up and shut down her computer.
Jack sat back on his couch, staring blankly at the now dead phone before turning off the annoying dial tone. A grin spread across his face. "Sweet."
-Fin.
Liked it? Hated it? Email me!
Ryven777@yahoo.com
www.livejournal.com/~lanna_kitty
Story Notes: Author's note: My first Sg-1 Fanfic. (EEk! scary! feedback would be *wonderful* send!) it's also Un-beta'd, but I ran it through spell check (US dictionary) and hopefully you can all forgive messy punctuation if there is any. The list was posted to the list and the plot bunny ran in and began biting my ankles. Hopefully it will all post ok and you wont see and odd ASCII artifacts or anything.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]