"Come here," he said gently, wondering if he was doing the right thing. She slipped into his arms, crying, clinging to him. Hesitantly, he embraced her, trying not to react to the soft body pressed to his. He slowly began to stroke the long blond hair, the only really unfamiliar thing about her. 'This isn't Sam. This is _not_ Sam, and don't try to pretend like it is,' his conscience was telling him. After a few moments, her sobs began to subside, and she turned her head, her face buried in his neck.
"Thank you," she murmured, her lips grazing his neck as she spoke. His arms tightened around her in response. He knew he had to let go of her, had to get out of this room...soon. He began to slowly pull away from her and could feel her fingers clutching into his back in protest. She finally relented and moved her head from the crook of his neck, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.
"Samantha, you don't have to thank me. I just wish there was something..." Then she raised her eyes to his, and he froze. Those were Sam's eyes, spilling over with tears of heart wrenching grief. Looking at him with just a spark of hope. When she raised herself up to kiss him, he couldn't move. He didn't even really respond. It was just a brief touch of her lips to his, a small taste of what could be. She held his gaze, remaining just a few inches from his face, waiting for him to make the next move.
His conscience was screaming at him now. 'Run! Get out of here! This is _not_ Sam. This is a mistake!!' He knew all that. So, why wasn't he leaving? And why in God's name was he slowly lowering his mouth to hers? As he saw her close her eyes and part her lips in anticipation, he realized he would do anything to remove that grief stricken look from her face. Anything.
As their lips touched this time, they seemed to melt into one another. Him giving into all the bottled up emotion he felt for Sam, and her relishing the comfort of once again being in the arms of the man she loved. They both knew they were only fooling themselves, but there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them to suspend reality, just for a little while.
His hands began to explore her, wanting to know her as well as she seemed to know him. He was fumbling with the zipper on her jumpsuit when there was a light knock on the door. They both froze.
"Samantha? It's Major Carter...Sam."
Jack grimaced. For some reason he felt like a man who had just gotten caught cheating on his wife. There was a brief conversation between Sam and the airman at the door, then Sam's footsteps as she left. He let out a sigh of relief as he loosened his hold on Samantha and took a step backwards. She clung to his upper arms, desperate to make him stay. "Jack, please..."
"No," he said firmly. The anguished look on her face was heart breaking, but he couldn't let it sway him. "I'm not him, Samantha."
"You could be," she whispered, tears filling her eyes again.
"No," he said quietly. "And it wouldn't be fair to either one of us if I tried to pretend I was. I'm sorry." He released her then, and she took a step back, shakily taking a seat by the table. He hated leaving her like this, but if he stayed, he knew where it would lead, and the consequences of that would be even worse. He finally walked to the door. Just before he opened it, he turned to her one last time. "Samantha, I really am sorry. I shouldn't have..."
"No. You're right." She was calmer now, almost dazed. "I just thought, maybe...for a little while..."
"Yeah, I know," he responded, knowing exactly what she meant. He left without another word.
She stared at the closed door for a few minutes without moving. Tears still trailed slowly down her cheeks. They had been so close. She closed her eyes, remembering his touch and how it had been so much like the first time her Jack had kissed her. Unfortunately, this kiss had nothing to do with her. They had both been pretending. He probably hadn't even admitted it to himself yet, but it was obvious.
She got up and walked over to the bed where she sat back down and picked up her hairbrush, idly pulling it through her hair. How could fate have been so cruel as to throw her into a universe where he was still alive and in love with another woman? How would she be able to stand living out the rest of her days in a world where she would have to watch as he discovered how much he loved Sam?
Fini
You Could Be by JR
Story Notes: I know I'm slightly obsessed with this episode, but I can't help it. This is just a short little "what if" that probably wouldn't have changed anything about how the episode progressed other than to have made it more fun for us. :) This was so short that I didn't want to bother my beta readers with it, so please forgive any mistakes. As usual, feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Janis
Thanks, Janis
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]