Chapter One
The alarm sounded throughout the base, signalling the unscheduled offworld activation. General Hammond hastily left his office and headed for the control room.
"What have we got Sergeant?" he asked as he came down the stairs.
"The iris is secure, Sir. Awaiting an IDC… It's coming through now, Sir," Sergeant Davis explained as the General stopped behind him. "It's SG1."
"Open the iris," General Hammond instructed as he made his way down to the 'gate room.
The security forces were lined up in front of the 'gate and they waited, weapons at the ready.
After a couple of seconds, Teal'c and Daniel stepped through the 'gate, closely followed by Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter. The wormhole deactivated behind them as they made their way down the ramp.
"SG1, you're ahead of schedule," Hammond commented as the team stopped in front of him.
"Yes, Sir," O'Neill responded. "We had a little disagreement with the locals."
Hammond's eyes widened. "What kind of disagreement, Colonel?"
O'Neill glanced at Carter before replying. "They took a liking to Major Carter, Sir… Wanted to keep her for themselves."
Carter rolled her eyes a little, then addressed General Hammond herself. "It wasn't that bad, Sir. They just said they wanted to do everything they could to make me happy."
"Yeah!" O'Neill snorted. "After they kidnapped her, tied her to a chair and probed her with all sorts of machines."
Hammond turned to Carter. "Are you okay, Major?"
"I'm fine, Sir. They didn't touch me. They just scanned me… a lot," Carter assured him with a smile.
Hammond nodded. "Have Doctor Frasier make sure, anyway… We'll have a full debriefing at oh-seven hundred hours. Get some rest."
Hammond left and SG1 filed into the corridor. Daniel was talking animatedly to a very silent Teal'c about the architecture on the planet, whilst O'Neill and Carter walked behind them.
After a minute or so of looking around and pretending to be listening to Daniel, O'Neill turned to Carter. He studied her profile for a moment before opening his mouth to speak. But he changed his mind and remained quiet, turning to face forward again.
"Really," Sam startled him when she spoke. "I'm fine, Sir. They didn't touch me."
He smiled at her ability to read his thoughts and nodded.
*****
Her medical examination went smoothly, as Sam had known it would, and now she was heading to her quarters. It had been a long and unusual two days and she decided it would be better for her if she slept on the base. That way she could have more sleep, and still make it to the debriefing on time.
Closing the door behind her, she immediately headed for the bed and collapsed onto it, instantly feeling some of the fatigue draining from her. She reached down to her feet, managing to unfasten and remove one boot and sock before tiredness overcame her and she sank into the bed, claimed by sleep.
*****
A knock at the door woke her. She considered ignoring it, but remembered she was on the base, and therefore it was probably important.
Throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, she stood up. She stumbled due to only having one boot on, but walked through it, and opened the door.
There was no-one outside.
She frowned and then peeped her head round the door frame to see if whoever had knocked remained in the corridor. What she saw was the back of Jack O'Neill. Her frown intensified, and she stepped her booted foot out of the room.
"Colonel?" she asked.
He stopped and turned around.
"Carter… Did I wake you?" he said, semi-cheerfully.
Carter shook her head, despite knowing that her dishevelled appearance would give away the fact that he had.
Jack nodded, but didn't move or make any attempt to say anything else. He simply stood looking at his feet, hands in his pockets.
"Sir?" Sam asked.
"Yeah?" He looked up, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.
"Did you want something?"
Jack shook his head. "Nope… Nothing."
Sam smiled. "So you woke me up for nothing?… Sir."
He stopped fidgeting and his face was suddenly serious. "I did wake you. I'm sorry."
"I'll make you a deal. You tell me why you're here, and I'll forgive you for waking me up," she offered pleasantly.
Jack gave a small smile. "And if I don't tell you?"
Sam raised an eyebrow at his challenge. "You don't wanna go down that road."
"Is that a threat, Major?"
"Yes, Sir," she smirked.
Jack's eyes widened. "What you gonna do? Kick me with your one boot?" he grinned, looking down at her feet.
Sam's eyes followed his and she wiggled the toes on her bare foot, then she looked up at him, defiantly. "I was tired," she shrugged. "In fact…" she continued. "Permission to speak freely, Sir?"
"You mean you haven't been so far?" Jack smiled.
"I'll take that as permission… I still am tired. And, seeing as you are the reason I'm awake, the least you can do is get in there and justify the fact that I'm not asleep!" Her voice wasn't raised, but her tone was authoritative.
Jack walked towards her. "Jeez, you're moody when you're tired," he commented as he walked past her into her room.
She smiled and followed him in.
He sat down at the table as Sam shifted some papers off the other chair so she could also sit down. Turning around she noticed that he had his feet up on the table. And he only had one boot on.
At her raised eyebrow he shrugged. "When in Rome…"
She laughed a little and sat down. "So what brings you to Rome?"
"I was in the neighbourhood."
Her look told him that wasn't going to suffice.
He lowered his legs, sat up straight and looked her in the eye. "I wanted to make sure you're okay…"
She frowned and was about to respond, but he didn't give her chance to.
"… I noticed your car was still here, and thought it was unusual for you not to leave the base. Naturally, I checked your lab first," he smiled. "When you weren't in there, I thought something must really be wrong."
Sam smiled. "Sir, I told you I'm fine."
He nodded. "I know, but – " He stopped himself and looked away. "Well, as long as you're okay…" He stood up. "I should let you sleep."
Sam watched him, confused, and concerned, by his behaviour.
"Sir?"
He didn't stop.
"Sir?" She repeated, standing up.
He still didn't stop. He reached for the door handle.
"Jack!"
He stopped at the use of his name, but he didn't turn round.
"But what?" she asked.
He turned round slowly. "Did I say `but'?"
"Sir, are you okay?"
There was a long silence as he simply stared at her. In his eyes she could see that he was fighting with himself. He looked like he wanted to speak, but couldn't allow himself to.
"Just say whatever it is, Sir," she said, further concerned by the turmoil she could see in his eyes.
"Sir?" he snorted. "What happened to Jack?"
Taken aback, Sam frowned at his question. "I thought… It wouldn't be appropriate for me to – "
"If we're sticking to what's appropriate, then I can't `say whatever it is', so I'll go."
She stepped towards him. "Jack…"
"You need to rest."
"Like I'm gonna get any sleep now… Jack, what's going on?"
When he allowed his eyes to meet hers, she recognised what she saw there. She had seen it before, years ago on Apophis's ship. She felt her heart rate increase, and her stomach flipped.
"I'm glad you're okay," he said solemnly.
Sam nodded to show that she understood how deeply he meant that.
Suddenly his eyes dropped their defences and everything was bared.
"God, Sam, if anything had happened to you." He stepped forward and took her hands in his.
By reflex she stepped backwards, shocked by this display of feelings they had long since agreed to keep hidden.
He moved away from her, closing his eyes and rubbing a hand over them. "I'm sorry."
Instantly regretting her actions, Sam moved back to him and lowered his hand.
"I was just surprised… What… Why?"
"When you were on the Prometheus, I swore when you came back I wouldn't let anything keep me from telling you how I feel… But I did… Then when I turned around yesterday and you weren't there – I was so scared I'd lost you. And I can't do this anymore. I quit. If you still feel the same, I want to be with you."
Her heart was beating so loudly that she considered that maybe she hadn't heard him correctly.
"Jack?" she stuttered, through the wave of emotions flowing through her mind.
"I love you, Sam." He spoke softly, cupping her face gently in his hands.
Her breath caught in her throat and she couldn't speak. Her mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what was happening.
"Sam?…" He stroked his thumb along her cheekbone.
"I can't let you – "
"I'll resign anyway… I've done this for long enough. It's time I took a chance. You're not asking me to resign. It's my choice. You're much more important to me than the few years I have left in the Air Force.… You won't be ruining my career… "
Sam managed to laugh a little. "You know me too well."
He stepped even closer. "Yes I do. Too well to be your commanding officer… I would like to be so much more, Sam."
And he kissed her.
It took her a second or two to process it – those were his lips on hers, his arms wrapped around her, his body against hers. Catching up with reality, she returned the kiss before he pulled away.
Feeling her relax into his embrace, he deepened the kiss, holding her tight to him, letting out all the feelings he had kept bottled up for the last seven years.
She had one arm around him, keeping him pressed against her, whilst her other hand played in his hair, stroking the back of his neck. As she paused for air he took advantage and moved his kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Revelling in the sensation, her head fell back, allowing him full access.
His hands found the bottom of her t-shirt as he backed her, slowly, towards the bed, sending a shiver up her spine as his fingers connected with her skin.
Her lips sought his again longing to dissipate the tension that had built up through the years.
His hands were moving gradually up her back, when the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed. They both stopped, their eyes meeting intensely as they breathed heavily for air. Silently he asked if she was sure about this. Ignoring the many voices in her head that were shouting that it was wrong, she leaned forward and pressed her lips softly against his. Then she pulled back and smiled invitingly. A low rumble erupted from his throat, at which she giggled, as he took her in his arms and lowered them onto the bed.
"No giggling," he reminded her before he captured her lips.
This just made her laugh more. But the more she giggled, the harder he kissed her until, eventually, her desire replaced her laughter and she could only concentrate on kissing him back.
Her hands found his back and lifted his t-shirt over his head. She trailed her fingernails down his bare chest, then, as his hand moved under her t-shirt…
Sam woke up.
She was breathing deeply, her entire body aroused. Eyes wide, she looked around the room. Empty. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down, taking slow deep regular breaths. Then her eyes shot open and she quickly looked at her watch.
"Damn!" she exclaimed jumping off the bed. It was six forty-five.
*****
Sam reached the briefing room just before seven o'clock. She stopped running at the door, made sure her uniform was straight, fiddled a little with her hair and stepped inside.
Daniel and Teal'c were seated inside. Daniel seemed to still be talking to Teal'c about the same subject as yesterday. Briefly Sam wondered if the two men had even parted.
She hadn't realised she had stopped just in front of the door until she felt a presence behind her. She could tell who it was. Immediately her body tensed.
"Carter?" His voice was quiet, and right beside her ear. She felt his breath dance across her cheek and prayed that she wasn't as flushed as she felt. "Are we going in? Or we just gonna watch?" he continued.
Despite the awkwardness her dream was causing, she had to smile. "Sorry, Sir," she responded and walked into the room.
Daniel stopped talking as the military half of their team entered. Teal'c nodded to the two of them and Daniel turned to them and smiled.
"Are you okay?" he asked Sam as she sat down opposite him.
"I'm fine," she said, her body tingling as O'Neill's presence brought up very vivid images from her dream.
"You look tired," Daniel continued.
"I'm fine," she insisted.
"Rough night?" he asked.
"No," she said, trying a smile to cover up the tension this conversation was causing her. "Not at all."
"Ah!" Daniel grinned. "A sweet dream? Didn't want to wake up, eh?" Daniel laughed but noticed that Sam didn't seem to take it as a joke. Her cheeks burned red, and her eyes glanced uneasily at Jack before hastily looking elsewhere.
"Oh, yeah?" Jack smirked beside her. "Who were you dreaming about, Carter?"
Sam desperately tried not to blush any deeper. "It was nothing, Sir… I don't even remember it," she lied as she felt his hands on her back, his lips moving against hers. She closed her eyes momentarily to try to disperse the images. Opening them she found Daniel looking at her questioningly. Luckily General Hammond walked into the room at that moment, giving Sam a viable reason to look away.
*****
General Hammond dismissed SG1 until their next mission briefing at seven o'clock the following morning, and Sam hurriedly gathered her things, said her goodbyes and left the room.
Her mind and body were still spinning. With Jack sitting beside her for the last few hours, the images of her dream were persistent, and all her feelings for him stirred just below the surface. She couldn't wait to get home – away from him, away from reminders of him.
"Sam!"
Daniel. He ran up to her and fell into step beside her.
"What's up, Daniel?" she asked as pleasantly as she could, considering he was interrupting her escape.
"Are you okay?" he asked, having to practically run to keep up with her hurried pace.
"You've asked me that already."
"You left in a hurry."
"Bathroom, Daniel… That okay with you?"
Daniel frowned. "Did… something happen with you and … Jack?"
He ended up ahead of her when she suddenly stopped walking.
"No!" she exclaimed, rather quickly.
He turned round and walked back to her. "You just seemed uncomfortable around him this morning."
She shrugged. "I didn't notice."
Daniel's eyes narrowed as he studied her. "Well, I did… What's going on, Sam?"
"Nothing's going on Daniel… I just didn't sleep very well, that's all." She accompanied her words with a reassuring smile, hoping that might satisfy his curiosity.
"You said you didn't have a rough night," Daniel commented.
"I just didn't want everyone fussing… The fact that I couldn't sleep is hardly worth all the attention it would get."
"We're just concerned, Sam… Were you having nightmares? Flashbacks to what happened on the planet?"
"As I keep telling people, they didn't do anything to me. There's nothing for me to have nightmares about. Occasionally people just can't sleep, Daniel… Now, is it okay if I go to the bathroom?" She smiled so he wouldn't think she was being uncharacteristically bad- tempered.
Daniel nodded. "Sure… Sorry… I just wanted to check you were okay."
She smiled again. "And I appreciate that." She smiled her thanks to him and then walked away down the corridor.
Daniel checked that the corridor was empty, then called after her. "'Cause if I'd had a dream about him, I wouldn't be okay!"
Sam stopped. Daniel grinned. She shook her head slowly. He laughed.
They went their separate ways, smiling to themselves.
Chapter Two
Sam opened her front door, and Jack was standing outside.
"Wow!" he exclaimed, his eyes taking in her appearance, moving slowly down her body and then – even more slowly – back up again. "You look amazing."
Sam grinned. "Thank you."
"Are you ready to go?" he asked, offering her his hand.
"Of course," she replied, taking his hand and stepping out of the house.
He didn't step to one side, so she ended up mere centimetres from him, looking into his eyes. He leaned forwards and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
"Hi," he smiled after he broke the kiss.
"Hey," she smiled back, missing the feeling of his lips.
When he stepped away, she turned to close the door and his eyes were captured by the fact that the little black dress she was wearing dipped very low at the back. He couldn't resist. He stepped up behind her, placing his hands either side of her neck. She trembled a little at his touch, and smiled as his hands moved down her back, his lips replacing them at her neck. She rolled her head to the side, enjoying the tingling feeling spreading through her body.
"I thought we were going out?" she breathed.
"We are," he mumbled against her spine.
"Are you sure you want to?" she smirked.
He spun her round to face him pressing her up against the door with his body, and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.
"Are you sure you want to?" he asked, not taking his lips off hers.
She smiled. "We have dinner reservations."
He moved his head back so he could look into her eyes. "Wanna keep them?"
She laughed, but was silenced by his finger across her mouth.
"No giggling."
She nodded and he lowered his hand.
"We should keep them," she suggested. "Seeing as Daniel, Janet and Teal'c are expecting us."
He wrinkled up his nose. "Yeah. You're right."
"Naturally," she said, cheekily. "We can be late, though," she grinned playfully.
Jack's eyes widened. "Samantha Carter. Rebel."
She giggled, but silenced herself by kissing him fervently.
Minutes later, when they came up for air, she stepped away from him and straightened her dress. "We'd better go… Else we never will."
Jack remained fixed to the spot, still encompassed by the power of her kiss.
She grinned and stepped back to him, kissing him once more. "We'll finish this later," she smiled seductively.
In his dark eyes she saw his desire, and liked the fact that she was in control at this moment.
She pressed her body tight against his, feeling how much he wanted her, and walked two fingers up the buttons of his shirt.
"Later," she promised, sealing it with a kiss. "We need to go now." She walked down the path and stopped at his car. Turning around and leaning on the side of the car, she waited for him to join her.
A minute or so later, he had composed himself and he approached the car.
"Nice of you to join me," she smiled.
"It's your fault," he argued, stopping in front of her and kissing her once before opening the car door for her. She climbed into the car, and he closed the door.
*****
Sam woke up as a car door slammed outside. Disorientated by sleep she looked around and realised she was in her lounge, lying on her sofa. She sat up and rubbed a hand across her eyes, wiping the sleep from them, and hoping the feelings stirred by her dream would go with it.
A knock on her front door startled her. She looked at the time. Fourteen-thirty. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep in the afternoon. Nor could she believe she'd had another dream about Jack.
Her visitor knocked again, so she stood up, checked her appearance in the mirror, quickly ran a comb through her hair and moved to the door.
Opening it she found Janet standing outside.
"Hi!" Sam greeted her, almost making it a question.
"Hi!" Janet responded cheerfully. "You busy?"
Sam shook her head. "Come in." She stepped back to allow Janet to enter, closing the door behind the Doctor. "So what brings you here?"
Janet walked through to the lounge. "Nothing in particular… I heard you were off until tomorrow's mission… Wondered if you fancied catching a movie or something?"
Sam nodded. "Sounds good… Any idea what's on?"
"No," Janet admitted sitting down on the sofa.
"Oh. Well, I've got a paper around here somewhere," Sam said, rummaging through a pile of books on the table.
"Are you okay, Sam?" Janet asked.
"Oh, don't you start!" Sam said light-heartedly.
"Did someone else ask you that?" Janet asked.
"Daniel."
"Ah! Speaking of Daniel – "
Sam stopped looking for the paper and looked straight at Janet. "Oh, now we're getting to it."
"To what?" Janet feigned innocence.
"You've been speaking to Daniel." Sam shook her head and dropped onto a chair. "What did he tell you?"
Janet couldn't help smiling. "He may have mentioned – after I blackmailed him – that you had a dream about Colonel O'Neill last night… A dream that had you rather flustered at the briefing this morning."
Sam refused to blush. "I was not flustered!… I was …"
"Distracted?" Janet offered with a knowing grin.
Sam shot her a glare. "What did you blackmail Daniel with?"
"Don't try to change the subject!… I want details… Unless it was one of those dreams, in which case… I want details," Janet giggled.
"Janet!…" Sam did blush now despite all her efforts not to. "It wasn't like that!… Besides I barely remember it now."
"Uh-huh! Okay. You don't wanna talk about it. I get it… We'll talk about it later," she smiled.
"We won't!"
"Yeah we will."
"We will not!" Sam insisted.
"Okay," Janet grinned. "… So? Do you wanna know what I blackmailed Daniel with?"
*****
That night, Sam decided to read herself to sleep, hoping that she could fall into a deep dreamless sleep. After their movie she and Janet had gone for dinner and Janet had spent the entire evening asking questions about her dream, and quizzing Sam on whether she thought it meant anything. She was pretty sure that spending the whole night talking about him was not going to make it easy for any dream she did have to not focus on him.
So she was reading "Jurassic Park", determined that dinosaurs were going to take her mind off him.
*****
"Well, that went well," Jack congratulated himself as he opened the door to his house and he and Sam stepped inside. He flicked the light switch to illuminate the hall as they walked through.
"It did," Sam agreed. "Did you think it wouldn't?"
He shook his head and pulled her into an embrace. "I knew they'd be pleased for us." He kissed her and she immediately melted against him. The kisses gradually increased in passion until they were both gasping for breath but longing for more.
"I believe we have unfinished business," she gasped as they reluctantly allowed their lips to part.
"Yes we do!" Jack agreed, running his hand up her arm then using her neck to pull her face towards his again.
He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him and he moved towards the bedroom.
By the time they reached the bed his shirt was open and Sam was placing kisses along his collarbone, deliberately drawing her lips gently over his skin in between, enjoying the response it provoked from his body.
He placed her on the end of the bed and pulled himself away from her tight embrace. She protested with a pout, which he ignored and continued with his plan. He trailed his hands down the sides of her still parted legs, crouching down until he reached her feet. Intentionally just grazing his fingertips over her skin, he slowly removed one shoe, and then moved to the other one. Then, massaging the bottom of her foot, he kissed the inside of her ankle. Sam shivered, squirming on the bed as he continued to kiss his way back up her leg. Reaching the hem of her dress, he stopped and looked up at her. She was staring at him with a powerful yearning that his body screamed to satiate. But he resisted his urges, and moved to the other leg, tenderly caressing the skin with his lips, slowly moving down to her ankle, where he sucked gently on the area he had found to be highly sensitive. A frustrated sigh escaped Sam's lips, and he smiled triumphantly.
Feeling him smile against her ankle, Sam narrowed her eyes – an automatic response, even though he couldn't see her face at that moment.
"Jack…" she growled, warningly.
He looked up at her innocently. "What?"
Propping herself up on her elbows she glared at him. "You know what!" she responded, her voice deep and serious, but the smile in her eyes not concealable.
He grinned. "Don't you like it when I kiss you here?" he asked, immediately kissing her ankle again. Her body trembled and she closed her eyes.
"Or here?" he continued, kissing the inside of her calf.
She sighed again.
"Or here?" This time he kissed her knee. "Or here?" He placed several kisses along the inside of her thigh, then kneeling up he put his hands on her hips and looked at her flushed face. "Don't you like that?" he smirked.
Sam didn't respond but she opened her eyes and captured his. This time he couldn't resist. He crawled on top of her, his hands dragging along her thighs as he did so, lifting her dress with them. His body pressed against hers and her triumphant smile was lost beneath a kiss. His mouth met frantically with hers. Tongues duelling forcefully, lips tasting. One hand moved to her shoulder and lowered the strap of her dress, his hand following it past her shoulder. She manoeuvred her arm out of it, and he ran his fingers down her arm, taking hold of her wrist and lifting it above her head. Moving his lips to her neck and shoulder he kissed tenderly as his fingertips trailed lightly back down her arm. As his hand and face met at her shoulder, his lips caressed the sensitive skin under her arm, as his hand moved her dress lower down her body exposing more skin for him to taste and explore…
*****
Sam woke to the sound of her alarm clock. She reached across and silenced it whilst internally cursing it for waking her up. Then she remembered it wasn't good that she was having dreams like that about her commanding officer and she forced all thoughts of closing her eyes, and hoping the dream would continue, from her mind. She peeled open her eyes and looked at the clock. Beside it was "Jurassic Park". She snorted. So much for that plan.
She rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Running the shower she turned it down to cool, and stepped into the spray, letting the cold water calm her heated skin. She had to admit to herself that she was enjoying the dreams – it was, after all, the life she wished she could have – but at the same time they were disturbing her. She didn't like thinking of him like that, and they were going offworld today, she couldn't afford to be distracted. Her stomach tightened as it occurred to her that – if they were offworld for more than a day – she would have to sleep close to him, and that could potentially be humiliating. She was just thankful that Daniel only knew about one dream. If he knew the theme was recurring, his teasing really wouldn't help matters.
She stepped out of the shower with renewed faith in her ability to place this at the back of her mind and act professionally. She was military – trained to focus. It - they – were just a dream. A figment of her imagination. She could handle this.
Chapter Three
She was listening. She really was.
General Hammond was explaining why they were going to the planet; what the results of the MALP probe had been and … what was that other thing?
Maybe she wasn't listening.
But she couldn't help it. Her eyes kept slipping closed.
*****
Her work on level sixteen was complete, and Sam was waiting for the elevator to return to her lab. The doors opened and she briefly looked up from the clipboard she held in her arms. She stopped between the elevator doors, shocked, when she saw who was inside.>
"Jack?… What are you doing here?" She stepped inside once she realised where she had been standing and the doors closed behind her.
"I wanted to surprise you," he replied, stepping forward to kiss her.
*****
She shook her head trying to wake herself up and tried to focus on what the General was saying. Naquadah. He said something about Naquadah…
*****
"How did you get in?" she asked, frowning.
"Oh, I know people," he smirked.
The elevator doors opened and they stepped out.
Almost instantly, a message rang out over the speaker. "Major Carter to the 'gate room. Major Carter to the 'gate room."
Sam turned to Jack. "I'm sorry. We've been inspecting the 'gate. They must have found something."
"It's fine," he smiled. "I'll go with you."
*****
It distinctly sounded like a snore. General Hammond turned away from the images he had been referring to and looked at his assembled team. All of them were looking at Major Carter – who appeared to be asleep.
Colonel O'Neill shook her arm gently. "Carter?"
She stirred a little but she didn't wake up.
*****
They stopped outside the 'gate room and Jack waved for her to go ahead of him. "Ladies first," he grinned.
Sam looked at him, unimpressed. "Because you need me to swipe you in?" she smirked.
Jack shrugged. "Only partly."
She opened the door and he followed her inside. There was no one else there.
Sam frowned, looking around. "That's odd…" she said, her suspicious side beginning to kick in.
"Yes," Jack said emphatically, also scanning the room. "I wonder where everyone went."
Sam didn't miss the tone of his voice – the tone that told her he was up to something. Despite herself she smiled in anticipation of what it could be, then straightened her face and turned to him.
"What's going on, Jack?" she asked.
He looked at her, innocence plastered all over his face. "I have no idea."
"Right," she nodded, sarcastically, and he couldn't contain his excitement any longer. A smile spread across his face.
"Jack…?" she said curiously.
"Do you remember the first time you went though the 'gate?" he asked, a wistful gaze falling over his eyes as he looked, not at her, but at the Stargate towering above them.
Sam smiled. Of course she did. "Yeah…?"
"You were so cute… Standing there in front of it talking about `fluctuations in the event horizon'. Your eyes wide and lit up." He smiled fondly at the memory.
Her smile was growing as she too recalled the occasion he was talking about, but she still wondered what was going on. "Jack, why are you – "
He turned and his eyes caught hers. "I believe that is when I fell in love with you," he stated, his voice filled with emotion.
She was still intrigued, but her happiness overwhelmed that and her smile covered her face.
"Right there in front of that 'gate," Jack continued as he walked towards her. "The gateway that brought us a whole universe of possibilities; the gateway that brought you to me." He stopped, standing directly in front of her, looking deep into her eyes. "Sam, for over seven years I let regulations stop me from telling you how I feel; now that's gone, I can't wait any longer to be with you; to share my life with you…"
Sam's heart fluttered and her eyes widened as she realised where this was leading.
He reached one hand into his jacket and withdrew a small velvet box. She laughed once with nervous excitement and the back of her eyes began to tingle with tears.
He smiled at the look of anticipation on her face and opened the box.
"Sam, will you marry me?"
She looked up from the ring and grinned wider than he'd ever seen before. "Yes… Of course I will."
He almost lost his balance when she kissed him. A kiss filled with all the love and happiness she felt at that moment.
When she stepped back for air, he took her left hand in his and – somewhat awkwardly with one hand – removed the ring from its box. Sam watched as he slid it smoothly along the appropriate finger, taking in its beauty. One perfect diamond set on a ring of gold. Then she noticed there was something engraved either side of it. It looked like 'gate symbols. She briefly glanced at Jack, her brow creased in the pleasantly curious frown that he loved almost as much as her smile, then examined the ring more closely. There were three symbols on each side and she recognised that together they made up the first six symbols of Earth's 'gate address. She smiled and looked up at him, waiting for the explanation she knew he would offer.
He took her hand and kissed her palm just below where her ring sat. "Just to remind you that whichever planet you're on, I'm only a step away."
*****
"She just fell asleep?" Janet asked disbelievingly as she examined Sam.
The Major was still sleeping, and had slept through Jack carrying her from the briefing room to the infirmary.
"Yes," Daniel replied. "In the middle of the briefing."
"But what concerns us," Jack cut in, abruptly, "Is that she won't wake up!"
Janet shot a minor glare his way, knowing he was worried about Sam, but not wanting to let him completely get away with using that tone. "I realise that, Colonel."
She finished her initial examination and stepped back. "She does appear to just be asleep… I'll have to run some tests to find out why she won't wake up."
"They did something to her on that damn planet!" Jack exclaimed, beginning to pace in restless frustration.
Daniel frowned. "She said they didn't touch her."
"And her medical exam was clear," Janet added.
"How else would you explain this?" Jack glared at both Janet and Daniel before looking, concerned, at Sam's sleeping form.
"I believe O'Neill may be correct," Teal'c contributed suddenly. "Major Carter has seemed uncharacteristically tired and uneasy since our return… Did you not have a conversation with her about just that, Daniel Jackson?"
Daniel glanced, almost fearfully, at Janet. "Well yes… I did … but – "
"You two know something," Jack said stepping closer to them. "Did she tell you she wasn't feeling well? Did she tell you what they really did to her?"
Janet glanced at Daniel again and they, silently, agreed that they would tell him the basics, but definitely not the details. Turning back to an ever more impatient Jack, she took a deep breath and began. "She'd been having unusual dreams, that's all."
Jack frowned. "What kind of dreams?"
Once again Janet's eyes darted to Daniel's and back, then she shook her head. "Colonel, I'm sorry. I can't."
"Right… Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that," he muttered, then he looked at Daniel expectantly.
The archaeologist shifted uncomfortably under his friend's intense stare. "Jack… I can't… Daniel-Sam confidentiality."
His last word was drowned out by Jack. "Like hell it is! If you know what's wrong with her – "
Sam moved and all their eyes shot to her. Janet moved quickly to one side of her, while Jack was at the other. He took hold of her hand and gently shook her shoulder. "Carter?"
Nothing.
He tried again. And Janet tried. But there was no response. All their shoulders visibly slumped.
Still holding Sam's hand protectively in his, Jack closed his eyes, then calmly said:
"If the two of you know what could be causing this…" he trailed off, leaving them to fill in the rest for themselves.
"Sir, if I'd thought that what she was telling me implied that there was something wrong, I would have done something about it there and then…" Janet said gently. "Her dreams were unusual, for her, but not unnatural… But now that this has happened, it might be connected. The dreams did start when you returned from your last mission, so, while I run my tests, maybe you could go back there and find out exactly what those machines they scanned her with do."
Jack opened his eyes and looked at Janet. He was about to agree when Sam squeezed his hand and mumbled: "Jack."
"I'm here," he said softly, stroking her hand with his thumb, and watching her with hope. "Time to wake up," he smiled. She didn't respond. She remained asleep, and she didn't make another movement or sound. Jack's smile fell, but he turned back to Janet still with hope in his eyes. "Well, she knows I'm here. That's a good sign, right?"
Janet smiled. "Yes it is."
He squeezed her hand once then placed it gently on the bed. "Okay, Daniel, Teal'c, we're going to talk to General Hammond."
Jack and Teal'c left and Daniel paused to look at Janet before he followed. The look they exchanged showed that both were aware that it might not have been awareness of her current surroundings that Sam was showing. It may have been something from a dream that slipped through.
Chapter Four
The wormhole deactivated behind them as the three male members of SG1 headed for the nearby village. It was visible from the gate and would only take them twenty minutes to get there. Although, at the speed Jack was walking, they would get there in half that time.
*****
Meanwhile, Sam was smiling, Janet noticed as she drew blood from the sleeping Major's arm. Despite her deep concern for her friend, Janet couldn't stop the smirk that appeared on her face, or the thought that leaped into her head: "Having sweet dreams, Sam?" She laughed a little to herself, actually pleased that Sam appeared to be dreaming. At least, whilst whatever had afflicted her had its hold on her, Sam was happy.
Janet removed the needle from Sam's arm and placed cotton wool onto the small spot of blood left behind. She had collected her things and was leaving to check on Siler – who had broken two toes when he dropped his wrench on them – when she heard a familiar voice.
"Janet?" Sam asked quietly.
Janet retraced her steps with a wide smile on her face. "Hey, sleepyhead!"
Sam looked around the blurry room. "What am I doing here?" she asked, trying to think back and remember for herself. She could remember going to the briefing for their next mission, but, after that, it was very hazy. "Did something happen on the mission?"
"You never made it to the mission," Janet explained, her face still light, as she checked Sam over. "You fell asleep during the briefing."
Sam's eyes widened in disbelief. "I remember feeling tired, but - … What did General Hammond say?" It was now fear that filled her still tired eyes.
Janet smiled reassuringly. "We believe you may be suffering the effects of whatever happened to you on your last mission, so I think your job's safe."
Sam laughed slightly as Janet was speaking, so Janet frowned. "What?"
" `Suffering'," Sam laughed again.
Janet's mouth pursed into a smirk again. "Aren't you… suffering?" she grinned with a knowing look.
Sam gave her a playful glare. "I meant," she emphasised, "I just fell asleep… It's hardly life threatening."
"We couldn't wake you up," Janet said seriously. "That's not normal. We don't know how else you might be affected… Do you remember anything about what they did to you?"
Sam had been settling herself back against her pillows, and now, suitably comfortable, she sat still and thought for a moment. "There were a lot of machines… lights… scanning me."
Concern slipped onto Janet's face as Sam's speech became slower and quieter. She was falling asleep again.
"Sam? Stay with me… The dreams, do they tell you anything? Is there anything strange about them?" she reeled off her questions quickly.
Sam's eyes began to droop more and more. "They're… They're just dreams, Jan," she said before her eyes closed fully.
"Sam?" Janet said, shaking her gently, but it was the same as earlier, there was no response. She sighed and stepped back. It had been a good sign that Sam had woken up, but it wasn't good that she had fallen asleep again.
*****
The aroma of coffee stirred Sam's senses as her eyes fluttered open. It took her a second to get re-orientated then she looked at the bed, empty beside her. She smiled as she heard footsteps coming towards toward the room, and looked towards the door in anticipation of his entrance.
A few seconds later Jack appeared, carrying a tray containing various breakfast foods, coffee and orange juice.
"Good morning," he smiled upon seeing that she was awake.
She was already grinning from ear to ear, and replied, "Morning… You should have woken me."
He placed the tray on the bedside cabinet and sat on the bed beside her. "You look so cute when you're asleep."
Still smiling, she raised an eyebrow, and he quickly continued.
"Not that you don't normally look cute," he smiled, leaning forwards to kiss her gently on her lips. "What are you smiling about anyway?" he asked as he sat back.
Sam shrugged.
"What?" he asked when her smile didn't subside at all.
"I'm just happy," she offered finally. "Something wrong with that?"
Jack shook his head snuggling underneath the duvet with her. Then he looked at her as if he was deep in thought.
"What?" it was her turn to ask.
"Nothing," he said quickly, reaching over to take a slice of toast from the tray.
"Jack?" she persisted.
He swallowed his bite of toast and dropped the remainder back onto the plate. "Nothing," he repeated.
She didn't speak. She didn't need to. She was still smiling, but her eyes told him she wanted an answer.
"Well… It's just… If you're happy forever, are you gonna smile like that forever?" he smirked.
Her eyes widened and she slapped him playfully across his chest. "Yes I am! Can you not handle that?"
He caught her hand, and pressed soft kisses to the palm. "Oh I can handle it…" he responded, trailing the kisses along her wrist and all the way up her arm. Then looking into her eyes, caressing her cheek with his hand, he added, "In fact, I will dedicate my life to making sure you always have that goofy expression on your face."
He wouldn't have thought it possible if he hadn't witnessed it for himself, but as Sam blushed, her smile widened.
"I love you," she said softly.
*****
Three children playing just outside the village saw their visitors as they approached. Recognising the uniform, they hurried to the leaders to tell them who was on the way.
Seeing the children run away, Jack increased his walking speed, almost to a run. Teal'c increased the length of his strides to keep up, and Daniel actually was jogging.
"Jack?" he asked as he trotted alongside him.
"They know we're coming. I'm not giving them chance to prepare," Jack explained, his focus hard on the village; his pace still increasing.
The leaders, one male, one female – introduced to them last time as Tilan and Mikla – were walking out of the Meeting Place as SG1 entered the village.
Watching him intensely, Daniel could see the anger building in Jack. His muscles were tight, and his face was reddening. He quickly scurried to be ahead of him, and noticed that Teal'c had done the same thing. It was obvious that Jack wasn't in the mood to control his anger but, if they wanted these people to help them, somebody would have to.
Jack didn't notice that he had fallen to the back of their small group, he was too intently focussed on the people in front of him. It was only when he was about to set on them, and demand they tell him what they did to Carter, that he realised Daniel had got there first.
The archaeologist was explaining to the leaders why they had returned – in much too calm a way for Jack's liking.
"I'll handle this, Daniel," he said, stepping forward.
"Jack – " Daniel began to protest but was drowned out.
"What did you do to her?" Jack demanded, actually more calmly than the others had expected.
The two leaders exchanged concerned glances before Tilan faced Jack.
"Is Major Carter unwell?" he asked.
Jack glared at him. "Yes she is!… What did you do to her?" He stepped closer as he spoke; Daniel and Teal'c instinctively moving with him to stop him going any further.
Mikla stepped in between the two men. "Colonel O'Neill, the procedure used on Major Carter is highly successful – "
"Procedure?!" Jack yelled. "What procedure?"
The woman was not phased by Jack's anger and continued.
"If you would explain what has happened to Major Carter, I can establish if it's the result of our procedure – "
"Well it started right after we left here – "
"Colonel O'Neill," Mikla spoke up to interrupt him. "I understand that Major Carter is very important to you, but if you don't tell me what has happened to her, we can't determine how to help her."
Jack saw honesty in Mikla's eyes so he backed down, yielding to Daniel to explain Carter's condition.
Mikla looked to Tilan once Daniel had finished and asked him to call for someone named Ji-Rel. Tilan left to do so, and Mikla turned back to SG1.
"Ji-Rel is our lead scientist. He'll be able to reverse the procedure. If you bring Major Carter – "
"Whoa!" Jack cut in, emphasising it with a wave of his hand. "We're not gonna let you `reverse' anything until we know what you did in the first place."
Mikla studied Jack for a moment then nodded. "We never intended to cause her any harm. We have never had any problems with the procedure – "
"What procedure?" Jack asked impatiently, earning him a glare from Daniel, and a slightly raised eyebrow from Teal'c.
Mikla smiled to the others to show that O'Neill's behaviour was not offending her.
"Colonel O'Neill, have you ever imagined a different life for yourself?…"
Jack frowned but continued to listen.
"…A life which, for whatever reason, you cannot have?"
Instantly Jack's mind screamed yes, flashing with images of a life without regulations – a life with Sam.
Seeing Jack's eyes deep in thought, Mikla smiled a little. "I see you have… Well, we developed a procedure that allows you to live that life whilst at rest."
Daniel's eyes were bright with interest. "You mean, like in dreams?"
Mikla nodded. "Yes… The procedure stimulates the mind to conjure up images of our deepest desires and wishes, bringing them to the front when we sleep… The dreams continue from one another, it is as if we live a different life when we are asleep… It allows our people to experience what they otherwise could not."
"So that's what's happened to Carter? She's living some other life when she's asleep?" Jack asked.
"That was our intention… Major Carter appeared sad. It was clear from her eyes that there was something missing from her life…"
Jack's brow creased with concern hearing this. He hadn't noticed that Sam was sad. His chest ached as his mind ran through possible things that could have happened; how Sam could have been feeling; and he wasn't there for her.
"…We meant only to give her the opportunity we all have," Mikla had continued. "But she should only dream when she goes to sleep, it shouldn't be causing her to sleep all the time… Something must have gone wrong."
They all expected Jack to have a sarcastic comment here and, when he remained silent, all eyes turned to him.
Still lost in his thoughts of Sam, he suddenly became aware that everybody was looking at him. "What?" he asked quickly.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow, concerned that Jack had appeared distracted.
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked quietly.
Jack nodded.
"Don't you have anything to say?" Daniel frowned.
Jack took a breath and looked at Mikla. "Can you reverse it? Safely?"
Mikla nodded, but didn't look so sure. "Normally the procedure is easily reversed… But, given that something appears to have gone wrong, we should examine Major Carter first to find out what happened before we try to undo it. Or else we may end up harming her further," she explained.
Jack absorbed everything she was saying silently. She seemed to be being honest, and seemed genuinely apologetic that this had happened. But this was Sam's life, he had to be sure before he entrusted it to these people.
"Would you excuse us?" he smiled to Mikla who nodded and walked a little away from them.
"Jack…?" Daniel asked curiously.
"Do you think we can trust them?" he asked his friends.
"I would say yes. She seems genuine," Daniel replied.
"How do we know she's telling the truth? They kidnapped Carter once, this could just be a plot to get her back."
"Jack, they explained that. It was a misunderstanding between two different cultures. She really does seem sorry that Sam's `ill'."
Jack thought quietly for a moment then looked Daniel straight in the eye. "What she told us about the procedure, do you think that's true?"
Daniel knew what he meant. He was actually asking him to tell him about Sam's dreams. "Yes," he answered evasively. Answering the question, but not giving Jack what he wanted. He knew he wouldn't leave it there though.
"The dreams she was having were a life she wished she could have?"
Daniel shifted uncomfortably, and hesitantly responded. "She didn't tell me anything specific, but, I understand that they were, yes… Jack, it's likely that the procedure went wrong because we took Sam from them before they'd finished."
That had occurred to Jack, but he hadn't wanted to think that it might be their fault that Sam was indisposed now.
"Right… We'll bring her back… And we'll bring Doc Frasier and a medical team. They can learn about the procedure – and its reversal – before we let them near Carter."
*****
The infirmary was quiet, the lights dimmed for the night, when Jack arrived, finally having a chance to check on Sam. It had been the first thing he had wanted to do when they got back, but Janet had assured him she was fine, and Hammond had ordered him to shower, change and attend a debriefing. That had taken a lot longer than expected as he had to convince General Hammond that the people who had previously kidnapped Carter, and admittedly carried out a procedure on her without her consent, could be trusted to cure her.
Now he stepped quietly across the room, stopping beside Sam's bed. She looked so peaceful, lying still, breathing softly. And she was smiling. To see her smile made him smile, and he sat down in the chair beside her bed.
"So, you like your new life?" he asked quietly, a hint of sadness in his tone. "I'm sorry I didn't realise you weren't happy in this one," he added at barely a whisper.
For a couple of minutes he just sat looking at her, absorbing the beauty of her features, the apparent smoothness of her skin, the softness of her hair. It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore his feelings for her. When she was lost on the Prometheus, his heart had been breaking at the thought of never seeing her again. He had vowed that when she came back he would tell her how he felt; he would figure out some way for them to be together. But he didn't. He couldn't. He had sat beside her – much like now – waiting for her to wake up, waiting to tell her. But when she opened her eyes, he was overwhelmed by his fear of losing her. In that moment it convinced him that it was better to have her in his life as a friend; as a possibility, than to know that she didn't feel the same way. Yet every day since he still longed for her to return his feelings. Every time she was in the room, his attention was captivated by her. She smiled, and he melted. She stood close to him and he wanted to move closer. Right now he wanted to reach out, to hold her hand and tell her that everything would be okay. To promise to dedicate his life to making her happy. To tell her he loved her. With all his heart he loved her.
So lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't noticed her eyes open. "Jack?" she said quietly.
He jumped up from the seat – partly so that she could see him properly, but mainly with guilt over his thoughts. "Hey," he smiled.
"What happened?" she asked, her eyes staying open for only seconds at a time before they drooped closed again.
"Oh, nothing serious… You'll be fine," he replied.
She opened her mouth to speak then licked her lips. He noticed she was trying to force her eyes open, and she was looking towards the jug of water beside the bed.
"Are you thirsty?" he asked.
She nodded once, then her head fell back onto her pillows.
Jack poured her a glass of water and handed it towards her. She went to take it, but with her eyes refusing to stay open, her hand missed it completely and fell to the bed heavily.
She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm so tired," she whispered.
Jack smiled. "It's okay… Can you sit up a little?" he asked, placing his other hand just behind her shoulder and helping her sit up. Feeling her weight leaning on his hand, he slid it to support the centre of her back, then held the glass up to her lips.
At first she just sipped the water, then as her body cried for more to quench her thirst, her hand automatically moved to the glass, covering Jack's hand. He actually shivered at her touch, immediately cursing himself for it.
When she'd finished drinking, Sam tried to look at him. "Are you cold?" she asked slowly.
Jack shrugged. "A little… You finished?" he asked nodding towards the water.
Sam nodded and Jack moved his hand to allow her to lie back down. She did so, her eyes closing again, but she didn't release her hold on his hand. He moved it, but she didn't let go. So, instead, he took the glass with his other hand and placed it back on the cabinet, allowing his other hand to fall with hers, coming to rest on her stomach, where she adjusted her grip to hold it more tightly.
Feeling a little uncomfortable at how comfortable that felt, Jack cleared his throat. "I should get a doctor to check on you – "
"No!" she said, holding his hand tighter still. "Stay here… Please?"
Still uncertain that he should allow himself to do this, Jack acquiesced and perched on the edge of the bed to make it more comfortable for his arm.
A silence followed. Sam eyes drifted open occasionally and she would focus on Jack and smile, but then they would close again, and she would look like she was sleeping. Janet had told him that Sam had woken up a couple of times, but not for very long, and – as each time she appeared to be tired - it was probably best to let her sleep. Jack just watched her, subconsciously stroking his thumb along her fingers – until he realised what he was doing. He stopped abruptly, his guilt tripling. He shouldn't be indulging in this moment.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked him, her eyes still closed.
"Nothing," he said, standing up. "I should go… You need to rest… I'll see you tomorrow." He prised his hand out of hers and turned to walk away when she spoke again.
"Jack?"
He turned back. She was still lying with her eyes closed as she continued.
"Don't I get a kiss?"
Chapter Five
Jack's eyes widened and he froze to the spot. "Excuse me?" he said, his eyebrows raised.
Watching Sam, she seemed to be sound asleep. Frowning he looked around the room to see if anyone else had heard – not out of embarrassment or worry, but to see if she had really said what he thought she had.
It was in this shocked and staring state that Janet found him, when she entered the infirmary minutes later. She stopped in her tracks when she saw him just standing there staring at Sam.
"Colonel?… Are you okay?" she asked carefully.
When he didn't respond, her concern began to increase. "Is Sam okay?" she asked, moving to check on her patient.
The mention of Sam's name seemed to wake Jack up from the daze he was in. "Yes. She's sleeping," he replied quickly, quietly adding, "I think."
Janet heard that and turned to look at him, frowning curiously. "You think?"
Jack was shifting slightly from foot to foot, and his hands were in his pockets – behaviour Janet recognised from when he was nervous or uncomfortable.
"She woke up for a few minutes. She had a drink then went back to sleep," he explained.
"You think," Janet added for him, studying him closely. She could tell there was something he wasn't saying.
Jack nodded. "She was drifting in and out of our conversation, I'm not sure she was ever properly awake."
"Ah," Janet nodded, knowing that wasn't the thing he was hiding. "What did she say?"
"What?" Jack said, too quickly, and somewhat defensively.
Inwardly Janet smirked, that seemed to confirm her suspicion that Sam's dream life had somehow seeped into their conversation. "You said you had a conversation. What did she say? Did she tell you anything about the dreams? Say anything helpful?"
"Ah!" Jack said, reprimanding himself for his earlier over- reaction. "She asked what happened, said she was thirsty, and told me she was really tired. That's about it."
Janet smiled and nodded again. A silence enveloped them for a few seconds then she asked: "Did you ask what the dreams were about?"
"Nope. Why would I?" Jack replied, frowning a little.
"I thought maybe you'd want to check that what Mikla told you was true… Or, maybe you were curious?" Janet smiled.
Jack shook his head. "I'm not."
"Not even a little bit?"
"Nope."
Janet nodded. "Oh… Right, well I should get going."
"Me too." Jack nodded once to Janet then turned to leave, before quickly turning back. "Should I be?"
Janet couldn't help grinning widely, but she knew Sam would kill her if she answered that question. "She'll be ready to go at oh-eight hundred hours, Sir," she changed the subject.
Jack nodded once more. "Good… Yes… Night, Doc," he muttered as he walked out of the room.
Janet laughed to herself and shook her head, looking at Sam. "God, Sam, what did you say to him?"
--------
The instant she opened the door, her senses were hit by the scent of food, specifically bolognaise sauce. She smiled and stepped into the house.
"Honey, I'm home!" she giggled, dropping her bag to the floor in the hallway, and removing her jacket.
Jack stepped out of the kitchen. "Cliché!" he exclaimed, but he was grinning from ear to ear. "Welcome home, honey."
She walked into his waiting arms and pressed her lips against his forcefully. He stumbled backwards a little, surprised by the intensity of her impact, but he managed to steady himself and return the kiss.
Her tongue pushed its way past his lips and explored his mouth as she backed him against the wall, her hands starting to undo the buttons of his shirt. Her fingernails grazed the skin of his chest as she moved lower, then she pulled her lips away from his and trailed them along his jaw as she pulled his shirt back to slide it down his arms.
Whilst his body responded automatically to her actions, his mind did register that her behaviour was a little odd. With one hand on each of her shoulders, he moved her away from him, having to use minor force when gentle couldn't break through her determination.
Eyes dark and lips swollen, she pouted at him as she wriggled to fight his hold.
"Hey!" he said, "Just hold on a second."
She stilled in his grasp, glaring at him impatiently.
"Are you okay?"
"I will be," she smiled seductively, running her fingers around the waist of his trousers.
He swept his hands down her arms and took hold of her hands.
"Are you sure?… You haven't been infected with any alien viruses?"
Sam laughed. "I'm sure… I just missed you."
"You've only been gone eight hours."
"Eight hours too many… I don't like spending one minute away from you." She leaned towards him and tried to kiss him but he moved his head away.
"Sam? What's going on?… Did something happen at work?" he asked, stroking the side of her disappointment ridden face.
She shook her head. "I just missed you."
"Sam?!" he said, warningly, knowing that she was hiding something.
She met his eyes and considered lying to him, but she never could. "It's nothing."
"It's obviously something, your behaviour is… unusual." He smiled to ensure she knew he wasn't being angry with her.
Her eyebrow raised in a Teal'c like fashion. "I'm throwing myself at you and you're complaining?" she smirked.
He grinned. "I'm not complaining," he said, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him. "I'm just worried about you… What's wrong?"
She shrugged. "I don't know… All day I've had this feeling that something's going to happen… That everything's going to change."
Jack smiled reassuringly. "Things are going to change… We're gonna get married, you'll be Mrs O'Neill, and you will have to spend the rest of your life with me."
Sam laughed a little but still didn't look convinced. "It just… It felt like more than that… After everything we've been through, we know how easily everything can change - how quickly you can lose everything - "
"Sam - "
"I know, this is something we've lived with since we joined the Air Force, but I've never had this feeling before - "
"Not to sound egotistical, but have you been this happy since you joined the Air Force?" he smiled. "It's natural that you would be worried about losing this, but you can't let that fear overwhelm you."
"Even though that means I pounce on you the minute I see you?"
"It's hard to believe I'm gonna say this, but yeah," he laughed. "We can't live in fear, but it'll help us savour every minute."
She snuggled up against him, trailing her index finger down the centre of his chest. "That's what I was doing." She leaned up and brushed her lips across his, testing to see if he would pull away again. When he didn't, she smiled briefly and deepened the kiss.
Her hands found their way back to his shirt and she slid it down his arms, letting it drop to the floor. Returning the gesture, his hands slipped under the hem of her t-shirt and as he lifted it over her head, he manoeuvred so that she was the one pinned against the wall.
Kissing her hungrily, he supported her body between his and the wall as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Her head fell back with a purr as she felt him pressed against her, and his lips and teeth explored her neck, nipping and sucking, sending tingling rays throughout her body.
Just as his hands swept behind her back to unhook her bra, her head shot up, eyes wide.
"Can you smell burning?" she asked.
Her question was answered by the smoke alarm above their heads.
She dropped her legs down, freeing Jack to see to the burning food. Following him to the kitchen she leaned against the doorframe and watched as he opened the door and window and tried to waft the smoke away from the alarm.
She smiled as his topless, flustered form moved around her kitchen.
"I love you," she stated suddenly.
He stopped and turned to face her. "Even though I almost burned your kitchen down?" he smirked.
"Well, I think I was partly responsible for that," she smiled. "So, yes, I still love you."
He stood in front of her and kissed her once. "I love you too… Always will… Remember that." He kissed her again then pulled back slightly. "By the way, dinner is somewhat ruined."
Sam shrugged. "We can get take-out," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Later."
--------
Teal'c and Daniel took the lead through the Stargate, closely followed by O'Neill, Doctor Fraiser and the medical team, carrying Sam's still sleeping form.
Mikla and Ji-Rel were waiting for them at the base of the steps from the 'gate. Daniel introduced them to Janet and her team, and as they all made their way to the village, Ji-Rel explained the procedures to Janet.
--------
Sam woke with a start, sitting up in bed, waking Jack when the arm he'd had draped over her fell back onto him.
"Sam?" he asked, sleepily, but instantly concerned.
She was breathing rapidly, her eyes were wide and a sheen of sweat coated her skin.
He sat up beside her and took her hand in his.
"Sam?… Honey…?" He trailed off as she turned towards him.
"I'm okay… It was just - " she stopped, raising shaky hands to wipe her face.
"A bad dream?" he asked, softly, enveloping her in his arms and hugging her close to him.
--------
Two hours later, satisfied that the procedure was safe, Janet and Daniel emerged from the room they had followed Ji-Rel into, and joined Teal'c and Jack in the medical ward where Sam had been settled on one of the beds.
As they approached her bed, Jack stood up, but he didn't leave her side. "Finally!" he exclaimed.
"Patience is a virtue, Jack," Daniel responded as they stopped by the bed.
"During your absence Major Carter became restless," Teal'c explained.
"You should have called for me," Janet reacted, concern creasing her face.
"Dr Kelly checked on Major Carter and assured us that she was in no danger."
"She just doesn't seem to be enjoying her dream life as much anymore," Jack commented, looking back to Sam. "So, is it safe?"
--------
She had drifted to sleep again eventually, the rhythmic beating of Jack's heart a soothing lullaby. And she had been resting peacefully for an hour or so, but then she jumped, and started fidgeting.
Jack stirred from his slumber at the movement against his side, and his eyes opened wide with worry when Sam began thrashing from side to side and mumbling.
At first he couldn't make out what she was saying but, as he was trying to wake her, he managed to clearly understand his name.
--------
"It's okay… I'm here," Jack said, taking Sam's hand and ignoring the attempts to get him to move as Ji-Rel's assistants tried to prepare Sam for the reversal procedure.
As Sam began to squirm on the chair though, the assistants themselves fell backwards allowing Janet to also move to her side. Sam was now calling out "Jack" with increasing distress, but the dream still wasn't waking her up.
One of the assistants ran from the room to get Ji-Rel, and Janet checked Sam over.
"It seems like she is having a bad dream," the Doctor said, feeling assured that Sam wasn't experiencing any medical problems.
"Shouldn't she wake up?" Jack asked, desperately, still looking at Sam, and stroking the side of her face with one hand, trying to calm her down.
Janet realised that Jack wasn't thinking straight at the moment, and therefore didn't point out the obvious fact that Sam being asleep was not normal, and so they couldn't expect a normal response to a bad dream. She just remained silent, hoping that she could get away with acting like she thought the question was rhetorical.
--------
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jack asked softly after Sam had taken some time to calm down.
She shook her head once and snuggled closer to him.
"Do you want to lie down and go back to sleep?" he offered.
This time she shook her head more vigorously and the grip of her hand on his side tightened.
Frowning with concern, Jack hugged her more tightly and joked, "I'm not going anywhere," adding a small laugh for lightness.
Realising what he meant, Sam whispered, "Sorry…" and loosened her hold on him.
He smiled through his worry, and kissed her forehead gently.
They lay in silence for several minutes and Sam's eyes started to drift closed. She fought against it as hard as she could, but ultimately sleep claimed her once more.
Minutes later she screamed. "No!… Jack!… NO!!!!"
Jack immediately rolled her over so he could see her face. "Sam!" he called, trying to wake her. "Sam!"
He caught hold of her shoulders as she thrashed from side to side. "Sam! Honey! It's only a dream!"
She startled awake, tears streaming down her face, and she threw herself into his arms. "Don't let them take you!… Please, don't let them take you!" she cried into his chest.
--------
"Don't let them take you!"
Jack glanced, fearfully, at Janet as Sam's distressed cries began again, but it was Ji-Rel that spoke.
"Major Carter is obviously experiencing bad dreams, the sooner we conduct the reversal, the better."
They had managed to set up around Sam when she had momentarily calmed down, but Jack had stopped them from starting the procedure. He was concerned at Sam's recent behaviour and was slightly suspicious that it might have something to do with where they were. She had said they hadn't touched her originally, yet somehow they had carried out the procedure. Maybe they had done something to her since their arrival.
Janet stepped up beside him and spoke quietly. "Colonel, I know you're worried… I am too… But I'm more worried about the distress the dreams are causing her… I believe the procedure is safe, Sir, so does Daniel… And I believe that they genuinely want to help her…"
Jack nodded and turned to Ji-Rel. "Do it." His look carried all the threat he needed to make about what would happen if she wasn't awake and unharmed afterwards.
Ji-Rel tilted his head in acknowledgement and activated the machine.
--------
"I don't remember the details," Sam finally explained to Jack. "I just know that I was losing you… Something was taking you from me and I couldn't stop it."
Jack kissed her tenderly. "I'm still here…"
Sam managed a small smile. "I know… I'm sorry for being… crazy… You must wonder what you've got yourself into."
Jack shook his head and looked deep into her eyes. "I know exactly what I've got myself into… And I'm looking forward to it…" He took hold of her hand and gently kissed the palm. "Sam, I may not have been allowed to say it, but I have loved you for years, and I always will love you… Nobody can take that away… We are destined to be together."
Sam smiled, tears in her eyes for happier reasons this time, and took a breath to respond…
--------
Ji-Rel shut off the machine, and Sam's eyes shot open. She looked around frantically, disorientated. Jack and Janet were to one side of her, both smiling, and to the other side was someone she vaguely remembered. She knew she had seen him before, but couldn't place where. Deciding she would think about it later, she turned back to Jack and Janet.
"What's going on?… Jack?" she asked, tightening her grip on his hand that still held hers.
"It's a long story," he smiled, learning from what happened after she returned from the Prometheus, and not wanting to correct her use of his name. He did, however, realise that it was perhaps too inappropriate for him to continue holding her hand.
He gently slipped it out of her grasp as he indicated towards Janet. "Doc here's gonna check you over, and then we'll get you home…"
Sam frowned at how quickly he had taken his hand away, but was hit with a feeling that she shouldn't have been holding it in the first place. She looked around the room, the hazy look in her eyes clearly showing that she didn't understand what was happening.
Realizing what might be causing her confusion, Janet thought it might be best if she talked to Sam alone.
"Colonel, could I have a few minutes to examine Major Carter in private, please?" she asked.
Jack looked at the doctor, worry creasing his features, so she simply smiled to assure him that her request was natural.
He eyed her suspiciously, but Jack nevertheless agreed, and, along with Ji-Rel, made his way into the adjoining room where Daniel and Teal'c were eagerly awaiting news.
Janet stepped closer to Sam's chair, a smile plastered on her face.
"Janet?" Sam queried, recognising that the look on her friend's face meant she was avoiding an awkward subject. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
Janet hesitated for a second. "What's the last thing you remember?"
Sam was confused, but she answered the question. "I was in bed… I'd had a dream, it woke me up…"
Sam trailed off as if her account was finished, and Janet inwardly cringed at having to ask the next question. She had hoped that Sam's reply would have been more specific for her to figure out whether she was remembering her dream world, or the real world. No such luck.
"This is going to sound… odd… But remember it stays between us… Were you… alone in bed?"
Sam's eyes widened. "Janet!… What kind of - "
"Sam, please. Humour me?"
She had used the word `humour' but she didn't look like there was anything humorous about the situation. Sam's confusion tripled. "Jan?"
Janet decided it as easier to explain the situation rather than expect Sam to answer that question.
"We are on P3Y-29Z…" She paused to see if Sam showed any recognition. She did, and spoke before Janet could continue.
"Why?… There was nothing of particular importance for us to come back for…" Sam frowned.
"Sam, you've been asleep for over twenty-four hours - "
"What?!"
"Last time you were here… The machines they `scanned' you with actually performed a procedure on you to make you dream of a life you wish you could have… Because the others `rescued' you before it was complete, there were… complications."
"I slept for a day?!" Sam asked, incredulous.
"You woke up occasionally, but essentially you've been asleep the whole time, yes."
"But it's been weeks since we - " A light of understanding flashed in Sam's eyes which then clouded before she closed them and leaned her head back in the chair.
Janet watched her sadly for a moment then quietly asked: "Are you okay?"
Sam nodded and lifted her head again opening her eyes to add conviction to her words. "I'm tired." She laughed a little at how daft that sounded given what she had just been told.
"Ji-Rel explained that might happen… If you feel okay otherwise, we'll go back to the SGC and you can rest… I would like to keep you in the infirmary for a couple of days though… Just to keep an eye on you."
Sam smiled and agreed.
"We'd better let Colonel O'Neill back in before he goes crazy wondering if you're okay," Janet smiled. "And Daniel and Teal'c will be pleased to see you're awake."
Sam nodded and smiled, but as Janet turned away from her the smile slipped away.
Chapter Six
Jack had been sitting on the bed beside Sam's for the last few hours. He had come to the infirmary to see her only to find that she was asleep. He immediately checked with Janet that she hadn't reverted back to sleeping all the time, and was assured that this wasn't a permanent state. Not wanting to wake her, he had walked out of the room, with the intention of coming back later. Though he had intended for later to be longer than three minutes.
Something drew him to staying with her. He told himself it was because she had called for him when the bad dreams had started, and he wanted to be there in case she needed him again; but it was actually more for his own reassurance that she was okay.
He didn't sit right beside her bed. He didn't want to arouse suspicion - well, more suspicion. She didn't need to wake up to increased rumours about the two of them. So, he perched on the bed beside hers, and kept a watchful eye as she slept.
Shortly after his arrival Janet had left for a briefing with General Hammond and SG9, and now she stopped in the infirmary doorway when she returned to find that he was still there. She felt concern creeping into her veins. She had expected that Sam would have woken up by now. Granted she may have woken and gone back to sleep, but from the look on Jack's face, it didn't seem likely.
She placed the files she was carrying onto a nearby table and approached the bed where O'Neill was sitting.
"Hey, Doc," he said quietly, smiling, as she stopped beside him.
She returned the smile then looked towards Sam. "Has she not woke up yet?"
Jack shook his head, not registering that Janet wasn't looking at him. When it finally clicked, he added a verbal, "No."
Janet frowned and moved closer to Sam, checking for any immediate visual signs that there was something wrong. Looking more closely at her friend, she smiled sadly then composed her features and turned back to Jack.
"Colonel, when was the last time you slept?" she asked, firmly in doctor mode.
He paused for a moment, knowing where this was going - and also knowing that there was nothing he could say that would prevent it from reaching its intended destination. He could lie; tell her he slept last night, but she knew him too well. She wouldn't believe him. "I'm not tired," he said eventually. Might as well buy himself some time.
Janet cocked her head to one side, fixing him with a stare that told him she didn't believe that.
"I just want to talk to her when she wakes up… Just want to make sure she's alright… So I know if I need to make another return trip to that planet!"
Janet straightened up, understanding what he actually meant by that. "Colonel, in effect, Sam has been living another life while she was asleep. She wasn't particularly resting… Ji-Rel explained
she would probably be tired… This…" she motioned towards Sam, "…is nothing to worry about… You need to follow her example. Sleep!"
He opened his mouth to speak, but she spoke instead.
"That's an order, Colonel!… Go to your quarters, sleep for at least eight hours and then I'll let you back in here." Her stern look softened a little and she added. "I'll have them call for you if anything happens that you should know about."
"If she wakes up - "
"If she wakes up and everything is fine, you will be notified after your eight hours… If things take a turn for the worse, I promise I will send for you immediately."
Now it really was pointless arguing with her. If he didn't go now, the terms of the agreement would turn away from his favour and he'd probably end up confined to quarters until she declared otherwise.
"You promise?" he clarified.
Janet gave a small smile. "I promise."
"What about when you go off shift?"
"I'll leave strict instructions." The look that accompanied her words told him that those instructions would include the part about him not being allowed back in.
He dropped off the bed and, after a look at Sam, he left the infirmary for his quarters.
Janet watched him leave, making sure he was completely out of earshot before she turned back to her patient.
"He's gone," she said softly.
Sam's face crumpled and tears slipped out from beneath her lowered eyelids.
"Oh, honey, what's the matter?" Janet asked as she sat on the edge of her friend's bed.
Sam shook her head and tried to control her crying. "It's nothing… I'm fine."
"You don't look fine," Janet responded in a joking tone she knew would make Sam open her eyes.
It worked. Sam looked at her and laughed a little. "Gee, thanks Jan," she smiled.
"You're welcome," Janet retorted, at least pleased that she was smiling. "Now, tell me what's going on."
"What are you talking about?… There's nothing going on," Sam replied.
Maybe if she had frowned it would have been more convincing, but the absence of such a feature revealed that she knew exactly what Janet was talking about.
"Then why are you crying?"
"I don't know… Maybe it's because I'm tired…" she said, running a hand over her eyes.
"And why were you pretending to be asleep?"
Sam dropped her hand and looked, somewhat incredulously, at Janet. She had obviously forgotten how astute the doctor was.
"You've definitely been awake the entire time I've been in here, how long before that did you wake up?" her friend continued her enquiry, gently.
Sam hesitated for a moment, but she really felt like she needed to talk to somebody, so she answered. "I'm not sure… I couldn't see a clock." She accompanied her words with a smile, trying to show Janet that it was difficult for her to talk about this.
She got the message and remained silent, allowing Sam to explain in her own time.
"…But it felt like an eternity… I knew he was here, and I just don't feel - " She stopped mid-sentence and redirected her explanation. "You know when you have a dream, and you're really angry with someone in your dream, and when you wake up you still feel angry at them?"
Janet nodded. "Yeah… So you're angry at Colonel O'Neill for something he did in your dream life?" she asked, trying to make sure she was understanding.
Sam pursed her lips and her eyes clouded again. "Not exactly… But it's the same principle… Janet, I may have only been asleep for a day and a half, but my dreams spanned weeks… I have memories of several weeks of my life that never happened… I have memories of people, of places, of doing things I have never done… It's confusing. I just need some time to sort it out… To figure out what's real and what was… just my imagination."
Janet nodded sympathetically. "That makes sense… But we really should explain this to SG1. Colonel O'Neill is ready for going back to the planet and giving them hell because you're still not awake… You can't pretend to be asleep every time he comes to see you… It'll be seriously hazardous to Ji-Rel's health."
Sam laughed but it didn't reach her eyes. "I know…" She took a deep breath. "So, I've got, what? Seven and a half hours to deal with this?"
It was Janet's turn to laugh. "You think he'll actually stay away for that long?"
Sam's eyes caught Janet's and an air of seriousness descended on the room, invited in by the sorrow in the Major's face. Janet's heart broke for her friend when she saw the pain she was facing.
"Sam, if you want to talk about what your dreams were about - "
"You told me what they were about… A life I wish I could have… I had it… Weeks of it… And it's not particularly that I'm unhappy to be back in this one… I'm just finding it hard to deal with losing that one."
--------
Jack's eyes opened and glanced at the clock beside his bed. They were just slipping closed again when the time sunk in and they shot open as he swept from the bed.
When Doc Fraiser had ordered him to sleep for eight hours, he - as he suspected she did - had expected that he would maybe sleep for two or three hours then spend some time watching the clock impatiently, until he turned up at the infirmary having only actually been gone for four hours. Obviously they had both failed to consider that maybe he actually was tired.
He didn't know how long he had been sleeping, but it had been eleven hours and sixteen minutes since he left Sam's side. He ran frantically around the room, dressing and making himself look presentable, then flew into the corridor, almost colliding with Daniel and Teal'c.
"Hey Jack!" Daniel greeted him, despite the fact that Jack looked furious that they were in his way. "We were just coming to see you."
"Well, I was just on my way out," he responded, about to move past them.
"Are you going to see Sam?" Daniel apparently hadn't noticed his body language indicating that he was going.
He stopped and looked at the archaeologist. "Yes, I am… Is that okay?"
Daniel's narrowed eyes showed that Jack's tone had been noticed now. "That's actually why we were coming to find you… We've just come from there, and when Janet arrived, she was quite surprised that you weren't with us…"
"She was shocked that you had obeyed her orders," Teal'c added.
Daniel nodded towards his friend. "And we agreed that it was… unprecedented, so we were coming to make sure you hadn't banged your head or anything."
Daniel's voice faded towards the end of this sentence as Jack offered him an unamused glare. "Thanks for your concern, but I just overslept… Is Carter awake?"
Daniel nodded. "Yeah, but - "
Jack smiled what was obviously a goodbye smile, but he was prevented from leaving by Daniel's hand on his arm.
"Jack…"
He glanced back impatiently. "What, Daniel?"
"Sam's awake… and she's okay, but she …"
"Major Carter appeared distracted during our time with her," Teal'c concluded for him as Daniel seemed unsure what to say.
Jack frowned at both of them. "Distracted?"
"She said she is fine…"
"And Doctor Fraiser assures us that she is healthy…"
"But she has effectively been living in a different reality for three days…"
"But to Major Carter it has been weeks…"
Jack raised his hand to stop them. "You're making me dizzy!… Did you rehearse that?"
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow, but Daniel dropped his head as if in defeat.
"One of you," Jack continued, emphasising `one', "Tell me what point it is you're trying to make."
Daniel and Teal'c looked at each other and it was silently decided that Daniel would explain. He was about to start when Jack spoke again.
"Start with how she's lived weeks in three days," he said, his confusion clear on his face.
Daniel took a deep breath. "It's something to do with the fact that we took her before the original procedure was complete… Ordinarily, each time the person falls asleep, their dream life would continue from where it left off… In Sam's case - from what I can gather - she had disjointed dreams, but she has the memories of what occurred in between." At Jack's intensifying frown he quickly added, "It's like when you have a dream, and in it you are aware of information that wasn't actually explained… like where you are, or why you're there… Her mind filled in the gaps, and now she has memories of weeks of a life that never happened… And, apparently, it's confusing her a little… Which I guess is understandable, dreams can feel very real…"
Jack's glare told him to stick to his point.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "Sam's gonna need some time to sort everything out in her head… But she will be okay."
Jack watched Daniel for a moment. "Why do I feel like there's something you're not telling me?"
Daniel glanced uncomfortably at Teal'c who continued the story.
"Major Carter also described her feelings in terms of waking up after a dream and retaining feelings of anger one felt in the dream."
Jack raised an eyebrow at Teal'c. "You're saying we made her angry in her dream world? … And she's still angry?"
Daniel stepped back in. "We're not saying `we'."
Jack's eyes widened a little and Daniel tried his best to avoid eye contact. "I made her angry?… What did I do?"
"She did not say," Teal'c replied.
Daniel had found the courage to speak again, but he had, subconsciously, taken a step backwards from Jack, and sideways towards Teal'c. "She didn't actually say she was angry, that was just her way of describing what she's experiencing… Residual feelings from her dream world… That she needs to sort out… We said we would explain all this to you so she wouldn't have to go through it again."
Jack studied both of his friends closely. "Are you trying to tell me that she doesn't want to see me?"
Daniel shook his head quickly. "No!… No… No, she didn't - " he glanced, frowning, towards Teal'c. "She didn't say that, right?"
Teal'c's eyebrow quirked and the beginnings of a frown showed on his forehead, as the Jaffa considered O'Neill's reaction. He had not expected him to interpret their news in that way; it had not occurred to himself that maybe that was what Major Carter was trying to convey. But it was possible…
Jack nodded slowly, trying to keep the disappointment from transpiring on his face. "Thanks for the heads up, guys." He forced a small smile and turned away, continuing along the corridor.
"Jack!" Daniel called after him. "That's not what we meant!"
"I know, Daniel," Jack called back, accompanying it with a dismissive wave.
"Jack!" he called again. "Go and see her!"
Jack replied, "I will… Don't worry about it, Daniel," before he disappeared around the corner.
Daniel's shoulders slumped and he turned his worried expression on Teal'c, whose raised eyebrow and slightly inclined head showed that he felt the same concern.
---------
Janet stood at the other end of the infirmary, ostensibly reviewing some charts, but her gaze actually travelled over the top of the papers and focussed on the patient on the end bed. The doctor still had not been told exactly what Sam's dream life had been like, but from what she knew of the earliest dreams, and what Sam had said about `losing' that life, it wasn't difficult for her to come up with a theory. And the way the person in question was sitting staring expectantly, but nervously, towards the door seemed to support it.
It had been almost two hours since Daniel and Teal'c had left to find out why Colonel O'Neill had not returned to the infirmary. The two of them had come back themselves after an hour to ask if he had been in, and had explained to Janet how unsuccessful their talk with Jack had been. She had hoped they were over-reacting and he would turn up anyway.
Handing the charts to a nearby nurse, she crossed the room to Sam's bed.
The Major immediately broke her attention from the door, not wanting Janet to know she had been waiting for him to arrive.
"Hi, Janet," she greeted her.
"I thought you didn't want to see him?" Janet smiled.
Sam frowned - having realised that she forgot to do that in their earlier conversation. "Who?"
"Sam!" Janet warned, perching on the side of her bed. "I thought it would be easier for you not to see him?"
Sam sighed. "It would… Maybe… But…"
"You miss him?"
Sam looked straight at Janet, trying to feign shock. "No… But I have to see him some time… Might as well get it over with." She tried a small laugh to lighten the mood.
Janet smiled sympathetically, and then they fell into a silence.
Sam's gaze had sneaked back to the door, but when Janet didn't respond to her, she looked at her from the corner of her eye.
"Just ask," she said.
Janet fought away a smile, exchanging it for a frown for good measure. "What?"
Sam smirked as Janet also did, having lost control over her smile. "Whatever it is you're dying to ask me… You can ask."
The doctor hesitated for a few seconds then asked: "Are you going to tell him?" Seeing that Sam was about to claim she didn't know what she was talking about, she added: "What your dreams were about."
"No!" Sam replied quickly, her tone implying `of course not!'.
Janet held her hands up. "Okay… I was just asking… You said I could."
"I know," Sam nodded. "… It's just… It's awkward enough for me that I know what they were about, without knowing that he knows too."
Janet nodded and then sat in suspicious silence again, her eyes wandering around the room.
Sam smiled again. "Go on."
"What?" Janet said, looking back to Sam.
"I can see the gossip hungry side of you is trying to break free… As long as you don't spread the information, you can say whatever it is."
Janet feigned hurt and then grinned excitedly. "So your dreams were…"
"About Colonel O'Neill? Yes."
"And it wasn't…"
"Anger that I was feeling towards him?… No."
Janet's smile fell as she realised how hard this must be. "I'm sorry, Sam."
Sam shrugged. "I'll get over it… It's taken me six and a half years to… not get over him at all… So it shouldn't take me too long to deal with this… And people in our dreams tend to be a stylised illusion, once I get used to the real Jack O'Neill again I'll be fine."
Janet thought it, but she didn't want to point out that it was the real Jack O'Neill that Sam had fallen for in the first place. Besides, she could see it in Sam's eyes that she didn't believe any of what she had just said either.
"I'll be here to help you, honey… Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on." Janet leaned forward and embraced Sam in a tight hug.
"Thanks, Jan," Sam said, determined that the tears that were stinging the back of her eyes were not going to fall.
----
Jack stopped in the doorway when he saw the two women hugging and talking to each other quietly. He was about to turn round, when a voice from behind him asked:
"Colonel O'Neill, Sir, could I just slip past you please?"
He swivelled round to the nurse who was trying to get into the infirmary. "Sorry," he muttered as he stepped to one side.
She smiled gratefully, and moved into the room, and as his eyes followed her, he realised that Sam and Janet had seen him. No turning back now.
He walked in and smiled as he crossed to her bed.
Janet smiled at Sam then nodded in greeting to Colonel O'Neill and left them alone.
"Something I said?" Jack joked as Janet walked away.
Sam laughed briefly, then they fell into an uncomfortable quiet, both of them looking around the room nervously.
After a minute or so, Jack cleared his throat, drawing Sam's attention to him. "I brought you these," he said, handing her a bag of grapes.
Sam smiled. "Thanks."
"Not very original, I know," he said with a shrug.
"No… But, well, you've never brought me anything before, so… It's an original gesture," she smiled.
Jack nodded. "True… I just wanted to say sorry."
"For what?" she frowned.
Jack sat down on the chair beside her bed, and leaned back casually, trying to hide his nerves. "For whatever I did in your dreams that made you angry."
"Ah," Sam whispered.
"Well from the look on your face, I must have done something pretty bad," he commented, smiling. "So what was it?… Broke one of your doohickeys?… Burned your house down?"
Sam's head shot up at his last question.
Jack's eyes widened. "I burned your house down?"
"Well, you tried," Sam smiled, enjoying the memory. "But it was partly my fault so… I forgive you."
Jack nodded, his trademark `confused' expression gracing his face though. "Okay… Well, thanks."
Sam also nodded, smiling, genuinely, enjoying being back in his company. But then, as always happened with the two of them, as feelings had to be ignored and forcefully held back, a silence descended, and they sat desperately trying to think of something to say.
Eventually, Jack cleared his throat again and said: "So, how are you feeling?"
Deciding it was best not to offer her immediate response of, "lonely, lost and like a part of me is missing, yet is right there beside me," her shoulders shrugged ever so slightly, and she said: "Tired," laughing again at how ironic that seemed.
Jack smiled, "Well, you know what they say, the longer you sleep for, the more tired you feel when you are awake afterwards."
Sam gave a small laugh, nodding thoughtfully. "I guess so… That would explain it."
Finding that nodding seemed to fill these silences, Jack joined her in that action for a few seconds, then stood up suddenly. "I should go… Let you rest."
Not actually wanting him to leave, Sam nevertheless smiled her agreement – step one in getting back to how things used to be; in letting go.
He took a few steps away from the bed, then stopped and turned around. "Er… For the purposes of my report…"
Sam hid a small smirk, as she realised he was fishing for information. "Yes?"
"They said that your dreams… That you should dream about – "
"They were about a life I … can't have," she answered him, not wanting to watch him squirming with his question any longer.
His eyes raised from where they had been watching his feet awkwardly toeing the floor as he had tried to find his words, and they caught onto hers, holding them in an intense gaze filled with the feelings they had left in the room years ago. "Yet?" he asked quietly.
Her eyes widening briefly with the shock that he had broached the subject they went to great lengths to avoid, Sam finally smiled, and replied: "Hopefully."
They remained in their silent, figurative embrace for a few minutes longer, then Jack's lips quirked into a small smile, and he moved to leave.
"Sir, do you remember the first time I went through the stargate?" she asked suddenly, unsure as to why, but feeling that maybe she needed some reassurance that it hadn't been a stylised illusion her subconscious had created.
After his initial surprise at her change of subject, Jack smiled as he had done in her mind, and said: "Yes I do… Why?"
Sam shrugged again. "Oh, no reason…" she said, her eyes glancing quickly to her left hand, where his engagement ring had sat. "I was just wondering."
Jack eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then smiled. "Okay… Now I think you need to get some sleep, Major. We have a postponed mission to go on once you're ready."
"Yes, Sir," she smiled.
He went to leave, but stopped himself again, turning back. "I'm glad you're back," he said, smiling softly.
Her mind bombarded her with images of all her dreams – of his arms around her; of his lips against hers; of being able to speak of their love – and then with images of his face as he asked, "Yet?"; of the glances and smiles that they really had shared; and of everything they had been through together; and she returned his smile. "Me too," she said – and it wasn't a lie. This was their life. Yes it was filled with angst and sacrifice, but there was also hope and a silent promise for the future. And until such time as that promise could be fulfilled, she would always have the memories of the life they shared in dreams.
THE END
Hope you've enjoyed. Thanks for reading.
Story Notes: Archive: SJD yes
Season: Set during season 7 after Grace, but before the introduction of Pete.
Spoilers: could be there for anything up to season 7
A/N: I dreamt this fic a few nights ago. I had to change a couple of things because they were totally unrealistic, but the basic storyline was inspired by my dream.
Season: Set during season 7 after Grace, but before the introduction of Pete.
Spoilers: could be there for anything up to season 7
A/N: I dreamt this fic a few nights ago. I had to change a couple of things because they were totally unrealistic, but the basic storyline was inspired by my dream.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]