"If I Have to Walk Away"
Colonel Jack O'Neill stood in the middle of his bedroom, watching his younger self fumble with the family picture that usually sat on his nightstand. "You can have that if you want. You should have something . . . but --"
"I'd have a hard time explaining the wife. Besides, Sarah's not who I want to remember."
"You can have one of Charlie. He could be a brother or a cousin."
"Can't you be honest with yourself, just for once?"
The older Jack motioned for his counterpart to keep it down. "She's out there, you know."
"Yeah." The bitterness sounded wrong coming from someone so young. "She's sitting in your living room, waiting to say good-bye to me, and now it's too late."
"Hey! She's too old for you."
"And you're too old for her!"
He had no answer for that.
"Well," the teen hesitantly met the older man's eyes, "that's not true."
"It isn't?"
"No." He stood up, and started walking slowly around the room. "Loki gave me your whole consciousness. I've wanted her as much as you have for the last four years. At least that's how it feels, but I have one memory that you don't have."
"Go on."
"When she came to tell me that I was dying -- she thought I was you, and that she was going to loose you. I saw the pain in her eyes, and I wanted to hold her, to kiss it all away. Just as I was about to reach for her, I realized that I couldn't."
"I've never let the regs keep me from giving Carter a shoulder to cry on."
"But that's just it! These bony little shoulders weren't enough. She needs you! If I'm really going to just walk away from my life and my friends and the woman I . . . love." He took a deep breath, looked down, realized that he was still holding the picture, and dropped it on the bed. "You'd better take care of her."
"I haven't lost her yet . . . for too long."
"You know, for most people, 'cheating death' is a cliché. For SG1, it's a job description. Well, I've managed to cheat death again, but I can't say I've saved my life. Leave it to Jack O'Neill not to realize it until it's too late. All I can ever have are memories now. But for you. . . she's right out there."
The young man started to zip up his duffle bag.
"You know it's not that easy."
"Does Colonel Jack O'Neill ever do anything the easy way? Besides, you and Carter need to get married so you can have the next generation of genetically superior kids."
Jack felt a smile spread across his face. "I've been thinking that."
"It would be a crime against the human race -- and the Asgard race for that matter -- not to. Find a way . . . and send me a wedding invitation so I'll know she's finally happy."
"Oh, here." Jack held out a wallet-sized picture of Charlie. "He was a great kid."
"And cute too. Ya' know, Carter said I was cute."
"She did?"
"Yeah, but Teal'c seems to doubt your vitality."
"What? I'll have to show him, won't I?"
"Hey. Sam's the one you need to show."
~~~
copyright (c) 2003 Allie O'Neal alliesings@hotmail.com
Story Notes: EMAIL: alliesings@hotmail.com
EPISODE RELATED: Fragile Balance
STATUS: complete
SPOILERS/SEASON: 7
ARCHIVE: SJD, yes and Heliopolis
FEEDBACK: please :) Feed the writer, feed the muse.
AUTHORS NOTE: This is a response to Regency's challenge: "I challenge someone to deal with little Jack's feelings on leaving Carter behind."
I think I needed to write this. Thanks to Robert, who is the best beta.
EPISODE RELATED: Fragile Balance
STATUS: complete
SPOILERS/SEASON: 7
ARCHIVE: SJD, yes and Heliopolis
FEEDBACK: please :) Feed the writer, feed the muse.
AUTHORS NOTE: This is a response to Regency's challenge: "I challenge someone to deal with little Jack's feelings on leaving Carter behind."
I think I needed to write this. Thanks to Robert, who is the best beta.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]