It wasn't something Major Samantha Carter did very often. The only remotely girly thing she indulged in on a regular basis was a long hot bath, which was actually quite a practical activity considering the beating her skin and hair took going through a wormhole on a regular basis and then spending time in God only knew what climate of the week. But this week had been a test of even her ability to be 'one of the guys'.
SG6 had managed to get themselves thrown in jail on a planet with a population that had evolved to about the equivalent of the nineteenth century on Earth. SG9 had been sent in to negotiate, with SG1 and SG2 as backup in case force was needed to get their people home. It was. While the rest of her team and SG2 had set about creating several diversions, Sam, by virtue of being the smallest, had gotten to crawl though a very muddy drainage pipe to plant C-4 on the cell door, and free SG6 while the guards were preoccupied putting out fires. She was fine with that. It was her job after all. And so she never uttered a word of complaint, even when they had started the silent retreat back to the gate and she had first squished, and then as the mud dried virtually cracked as she covered their six. Of course it hadn't helped when two hours into the six-hour trek back her cramps had started, or that a couple members of SG2 and SG6 had managed to make some totally chauvinistic gaffs over the course of the next 10 hours. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and as she walked out of the base that Friday afternoon, Samantha Carter firmly left Dr. Carter, and Major Carter behind, and set out for a week-end indulging her feminine side, and insuring that there was not a bit of testosterone in site.
In the mean time, SG6 finally cleared from the infirmary, had tracked down the CO's of the three teams that had come to their rescue, and offered to buy them drinks at a nearby bar on their way home that night. An hour later, 17 of the 18 members of the four teams were at Maxi's Lounge. However one member was conspicuously absent.
"Jonas, you did stop by Carter's lab and invite her didn't you?" O'Neill asked.
"Yeah, Colonel, I did, but she said she had plans – I think."
"You *think*?"
"Well, she was kind of in a bad mood, and she said something like her plans for the evening definitely did not include spending *any* time with any *male* member of the SGC. Then she mumbled something about spending time with people that knew how to treat her with respect. At that point she was starting to throw things around so I left."
"That's not like Carter. I'd better call her and see what's going on."
That's when the new CO of SG6 decided he had better speak up. "She might be a bit upset with me sir."
"What are you talking about Conners?"
"Well on the hike back to the gate, I saw Major Carter take a few pills out of her vest and swallow them. I had wrenched my shoulder a bit when those goons threw us in jail, so I asked if I could have a couple. She tried to say that she didn't have any more, but I knew she did, so I made her hand them over. Turned out they were Midol, so I stammered an apology and gave them back. She was pretty embarrassed."
"Christ, Conners, what were you thinking? Carter would have shared regular painkillers with you. If she didn't, then she had a reason, like they could have been ones that Doc gives just to her because she has problems with a lot of the normal stuff."
"I didn't know that sir, and I didn't even think that they might be for something else."
"Is that all? Because Carter is pretty thick skinned. I doubt she would have gotten mad just because you had embarrassed her a little."
"That's all, sir, honest."
"That is not all O'Neill," Teal'c added. "I believe SG2 might have played a part in the Major's desire to not partake in our company tonight."
O'Neill looked over at the members of SG2 who were now looking decidedly guilty. Finally one of the young Captains spoke up.
"Remember when we took a quick break while you, Conners and Jonas scouted ahead to make sure that the area around the gate was clear? Well, Carter went off on her own, and she took a bit too long to get back. We were just wondering if we should send Teal'c to find her when she showed up. We might have made a comment on how long girls take."
"I believe your exact words were 'Major we thought you were building a latrine out there. If you are done putting on your make-up let's move out', and then you all laughed," Teal'c elaborated.
At this point O'Neill buried his face in his hands, so he missed the youngest two members of SG6 exchanging slightly scared glances. But Jonas saw them.
"Did you have something to add Lieutenants?"
O'Neill's head snapped up. This couldn't get any worse, could it?
"Yes, sir. Well, sir, when we were in the infirmary waiting for Doctor Fraiser to start our exams, Lieutenant Fisher from SG4 stopped in to check on us, and he sort of teased us about having to get rescued by a girl. We might have lied and told him that we escaped on our own after you guys provided a diversion."
"*Might* of?"
"We definitely lied, sir. But we swear we didn't know that Major Carter was in the infirmary at the time."
O'Neill let his head drop onto his forearm on the table, and after he had pounded it up and down three times he rose to his feet.
"Damn, no wonder Carter wants nothing to do with any of us. I'll be lucky if she doesn't shoot the first male member of the SGC that she sees on her way to Hammond's office to request a transfer. By the way, you will *all* report your deplorable behavior to General Hammond, in person, first thing Monday morning. Now if you will excuse me, I have some serious groveling to do to a certain Major. You know the one who crawled through a smelly, muddy drainpipe and risked her life to save four of your lives this morning? Not to mention the number of times she has saved the rest of our sorry asses."
Sam was busy lounging in a bathtub full of bubbles and bath oils, headphones on with her favorite CD blasting, and glass of wine at her fingertips when O'Neill tried to call. It wasn't until an hour later when she wandered out in her robe and slippers to find the trashy novel she planned on reading over the weekend that she saw the light flashing on her machine, and picked up his message.
"Carter, its O'Neill, pick up. (pause) OK, maybe you're out, but if not, please come have a drink with us at Maxi's. There are some sorry examples of the male gender here that want to apologize for behavior unbefitting officers and gentlemen. Payback is a bitch Carter, and you should be able to have some fun coming up with suitable punishment. Call me on my cell if get this and want to head over."
She snorted. Yeah, that's where she wanted to spend her evening, at an Airforce bar, with a bunch of drunk guys. Definitely not part of her plans for spending the whole weekend on her much neglected feminine side. Instead she poured herself another glass of wine, and settled in to lose herself in the anguish and triumph of the fictional lady in distress. Hell it wasn't any more unbelievable than her life. And at least it would have a happy ending. Then she went to bed early as she had a busy day ahead planned.
Saturday morning saw her up and out by 07:00 so she could get a workout in before her appointments at the salon. She was long gone when O'Neill showed up at her house with her favorite coffee and a bag of pastries that he knew she had a weakness for. He tried her cell, but it was at that moment still in her gym bag in her locker. He tried again 3 hours later, but she was in the middle of a facial, having already gotten her hair cut and highlighted. Since she went right from that to her pedicure and manicure appointment, she didn't pick up his messages until she was at the mall getting a new outfit for her lunch date the following day.
"*Message 1* Carter, O'Neill. I brought a peace offering for breakfast, but I must have missed you. Call me."
"*Message 2* Carter, it's me again. You've been out of reach for almost 18 hours. I'm getting worried. Can you at least call me and let me know if you are ok?"
She pulled up his entry in her address book and tried to decide if she should call him at home or try his cell. After all, he hadn't done anything wrong, and she didn't want him to worry. Besides, she was feeling decidedly better after indulging herself for the last several hours. She was just about to hit dial when her phone rang.
"Carter."
"Thank God, Are you Ok?"
"Just peachy, sir."
"(pause) How mad are you?"
"On a scale of 1 to 10?"
"You have scale?"
"Of course sir."
"Yeah, ok, 1 to 10."
"Well, I was an 11."
"Ouch! And now?"
"I'm down to about a 7."
"Wow that's good, or better anyway. So do I want to know what you did to work your way down that far?"
"Probably not, sir."
"Ok, fair enough. If I offer to buy you dinner tonight do you think I could get you down to say, under a 5?"
"Maybe, but I have plans for tonight, sir."
"Oh." (Was that disappointment she heard in his voice?)
"See you Monday, sir."
"Think you'll be over it by then?"
"No, but you can always hope, sir."
That night's plans consisted of Thai food and chick flicks at Janet's along with a whole lot of male bashing, especially after Sam related all of the events of the past few days. The venting helped almost as much as the last 24 hours worth of activities had, and by Sunday morning, she was feeling almost back to normal. She skipped the gym, and instead went to a yoga class that she rarely had time for., and she followed that up with a massage. By the time she joined some of the female professors from the Academy for their planned lunch date, she was feeling positively human again. She spent several hours catching up on all of the latest news and gossip at the Academy, and as she drove home she found herself humming to some pop tune on the radio. Wow, she should really do this more often she decided. Maybe not the whole weekend thing, but a little indulging now and then was definitely a good idea.
She really shouldn't have been surprised to see the Colonel's truck parked on the street outside of her house. She had to chuckle. He was lucky none of her nosy neighbors had called the police to report a stalker. Maybe he hadn't been there long enough yet. She couldn't help but flick a quick look into the rearview mirror to check her hair and make-up before she got of the car. Damn, she was glad she was still dressed in the skirt and form- fitting top she had worn to lunch. Then she schooled her features into a slight frown as he walked up to meet her at her front door.
"Colonel, what are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd better do some recon to see how much trouble I am going to still be in tomorrow. I was worried you might have had a relapse since yesterday, and you could be back at an 11."
"Well, I won't say that I am going to be pleased to see any of the members of SG2 or SG6 in the near future, but I am not having to adverse a reaction to the sight of you, so I would say the guys of SG1 are relatively safe."
"That's good to know Carter. We have a mission scheduled for tomorrow, and I don't want to have to be watching for attacks from within the ranks."
"There is one way you could guarantee my continued loyalty, sir."
"Anything Carter, well almost anything."
"Is that offer for dinner still open? I have a taste for steak, ooh and a good champagne. And I would love it if there was dancing involved."
"Do I have to wear a suit and tie?"
"All part of the package service, sir."
By 20:00 Jack O'Neill was sure this was a bad idea, as he danced with a blond bombshell named Samantha who was wearing a tiny black cocktail dress, and black strappy heals that made her legs look like they went on forever. Not a male set of eyes in the very expensive restaurant had been able to resist following her to their table, and he just knew that there were quite a few females who would gleefully have done a bit of physical damage to her by the time they were ready to leave. She had been throwing that damn lethal smile around all night. The fact that most of them had been aimed at him only re- enforced the fact that this was a bad idea. He had borrowed a car from the base knowing that he didn't dare pick her up in his truck, and as he walked around to open the door for her when they got back to her house he had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to get his libido under control. Those legs were slowly swinging out of the car, and she stood up so close to him he could feel her warmth. Yep, a very bad idea. But he forced himself to walk her to her door and he waited for her to unlock it. He just hoped he could make his escape before he did something that would undo all of his hard work of the evening.
"So are the guys and I in the clear yet?" he purposefully left off the 'Major' as he suddenly realized that she hadn't uttered a 'sir' or 'Colonel' all evening. No 'Jack' either, but he could live with that.
"Almost," she said. And then she leaned in and kissed him. He instantly became lost in the moment, so much so that when she pulled away he almost reached out to keep her from letting go.
But then she sighed and said "That should just about do it. See you tomorrow." And she disappeared into her house.
Late the next morning Major Sam Carter was called to General Hammond's office. He looked her over carefully as she seated herself, and nodded as if he was satisfied with what he saw.
"So, Major. I hear that there were a few things left out of Friday's debriefing."
"Yes, sir, but everything has been taken care of, sir."
"Good to hear, Major. How much is it going to cost the USAF this time?"
Sam handed over the itemized bill for her weekend's indulgences.
"I'll see that accounting cuts you a check. I'm assuming that Colonel O'Neill has made adequate restitution on the part of SG1?"
"Yes, sir."
"Alright. Dismissed. Oh, and Major? I like the hair."
THE END
Story Notes: Email: jackiesfic@aol.com
Season: Season 6
Spoilers: None
Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.
Feed back craved!
Season: Season 6
Spoilers: None
Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.
Feed back craved!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]