Story Notes: AUTHOR: Linz (

SPOILERS: none of 'em

SEASON: up to you

ARCHIVE: whoever wants it, you only have to ask.

NOTES: I know it's sad, but I decided to answer my own challenge on Heliopolis. As soon as I had written the challenge, my brain started working. The challenge was... They go to a party as characters from Toy Story, Jack and Daniel argue over who gets to be Buzz Lightyear. Include the phrases... "It's not flying...It's falling with style" and " you are a sad, strange little man. You have my pity" And Finally, must be Sam and Jack romance.


"Daniel, how can we possibly go as characters from Indiana Jones. There was only one! Just because he was an archaeologist doesn't mean that you qualify to play him. Anyway, he's more me, a ruggedly good-looking action hero..."

As Daniel rolled his eyes, Sam decided it would be wise to intercede in their budding argument... "Boys, play nice...How about we go as characters from Grease. I could do a good Olivia Newton John..."

"Only if you go in the tight black pants and I get to be John Travolta." Jack's eyebrows waggled suggestively, causing the intended reaction from Sam. Daniel saw his opportunity and decided it was time for payback...

"Um, Jack. You wouldn't be any good as Travolta. For one, we have all heard you sing and two, the phrase two left feet springs to mind! At least I actually am an archaeologist."

"Daniel I'm hurt... My honour needs restoring. On guard!" With that Jack and Daniel picked up pens and began a mock sword fight taking them around the whole of the briefing room.

One again Sam found it wise to interrupt the now duelling friends, "Guys, as much as I like to watch open displays of male one-up- manship. We really have to decide what we are going to wear for Feretti's party. If you're both so interested in swords, how about we go as the Three Musketeers and D'artagnion?"

"Major Carter; may I make a suggestion?"

Three heads turned in unison all showing slight disbelief as the huge Jaffa spoke...

"I believe the characters from the movie that we recently watched at the colonels house would be suitable..."

"What Toy Story?" Jack's eyes lit up with the childish enthusiasm that Sam found irresistible, "Yeah, Teal'c that's a great idea. I of course would have to be Buzz Lightyear, hero of the piece..."

"Why do you get to be Buzz?... You strike me more as a Mr. Potato Head..."

As the duelling started once more, Sam and Teal'c exchanged grimaces and left for the cafeteria. "I think we should let them decide by themselves Major."


"So who you gonna be Carter?"

"Not telling Sir, you'll have to wait and see. Teal'c is going as one of those little green alien things, he really does a great 'the claw is our master' impression."

Jack's eyes took on a look of child-like disbelief at the thought of the big, tough, ex First Prime doing that line. But it was the intrigue of Sam's costume that got to him most. "Oh, come on Major. Tell me" he winged "do I have to order you?"

"You wouldn't do that sir, besides anticipation is half the fun! Put it this way, I won't let the side down. Did you and Daniel decide who was gonna be Buzz?"

"Well technically, no... General Hammond decided for us. He said that since Daniel saved our butts on PC3 345 that he should be the hero. Hammond also decided that I couldn't be Woody, cause being from Texas he should be the cowboy! Plus he threatened to court martial me if I objected!"

Sam couldn't contain her laughter at the playful indignation in her colonel's tone. He had really started opening up lately, showing her another side of the character that she had already fell in love with. "So who have you chosen to be then?"

"Well major, unless you tell me yours, I won't tell you mine" She couldn't believe this, how childish. Well two could play at that game.

"Bite me colonel" with that she stuck her tongue out at a stunned Jack and left the room.

Man, she doesn't know just how much I'd love to bite her! He forcibly removed his mind from *that* train of thought, but damn it, where there any situations where that woman wasn't sexy as hell?


"Woah Daniel, you look really cool!"

Sam studied her friend who had now transformed himself from Space Monkey to Space Ranger with incredible attention to detail.

"But you're gonna have to move out of the way if you want me to come in, this outfit won't let me get passed you"

Daniel just stood there staring, all of a sudden one huge grin spread across his face. "Sam, you look great. But how are you gonna get in the car?"

"Easy, it comes off in one" While she demonstrated, Daniel accidentally set of his laser when he fell against the door.

The sight that greeted Teal'c as he emerged from Daniel's spare room was one of sheer madness. Sam was stuck, arms above her head either trying to put on or take off her costume, and in the process of trying to shut off his laser, Daniel had managed to eject the wings from his rocket pack and was now stuck in the doorframe. "Humans" thought the Jaffa-come-little green alien.


"Daniel, I thought the colonel was supposed to meet us here at 7.30pm, wonder what's happened to him?"

"He's probably sulking cause General Hammond said I could be Buzz."

"Nah, that's not like him Daniel, anyway, he told me he had got a costume, he just wouldn't tell me what it was."

"Don't worry about him Sam, he'll turn up eventually. Looks like Teal'c is enjoying himself though..."

As Sam looked on, she couldn't help but laugh. One of the marines had suspended a grappling hook from the ceiling while Teal'c took great pleasure in his "claw is our master" party piece. Jaffa's did joke!

Just then, a not so lanky Woody appeared. "Well Major, Dr. Jackson, I do believe that you have both out done yourselves. You look great, but Major, did you and Colonel O'Neill get your costumes together?"

"Er, what do you mean General?"

"What he means Carter is, for the evening everyone will assume that we're together...' Which isn't entirely a bad thing he thought.

As he showed himself, Woody smiled, Buzz laughed and a Mrs. Potato Head just stared at a Mr. Potato Head who was busy employing that smile. The one that screamed "Sexy as Hell" to a certain Major.

"... So why not start now, care to dance Sam?"

What Sam would have hoped would have been one of the most romantic moments of her life, one of her most favourite fantasies, dancing with her colonel, degenerated into one of those giant padded sumo wrestling bouts. Neither could get close enough to the other to dance and the more they tried and the more effort they put in, the further away from each other they bounced. After a short while of having fun, a certain Mr. Potato Head was getting just a little bit frustrated at not being able to hold the woman he had dreamed of holding. I mean what was the point of trying to dance with her if her couldn't get close enough to hold her and to feel her holding him.

"Come on Sam, I think it's time for a drink. I 'm a bit old for this..."

"OK, if that's what you want, but I never figured you for a quitter!"

Logically Jack knew that she was goading him, but dammit, he fell for it anyway...

"Wouldn't want to disappoint you Major, I'm up for anything you are..."

"Oh, really! Follow me then flyboy and just wait until I have done my civic duty"

Sam led him to the centre of the dance floor and after signalling to the band; she stood on the stage, microphone in hand...

"Sshh... can I have everyone's attention please. Daniel that includes you..."

As the crowd turned they where treated to the spectacle of Dr. Daniel Jackson who after drinking rather more than his 2-beer limit, had convinced himself that being Buzz Lightyear he would be able to fly. He had proceeded to jump from table to table shouting "Buzz Lightyear to the rescue"

"But Sam I'm flying..."

" Daniel... "That's not flying... it's falling with style"

"Hey Sam, I only fell once... ok three times...maybe five..."

"Space monkey, you are a sad strange little man... you have my pity" Everyone bar Daniel couldn't contain their laughter at the Colonel's outburst.

"Oh yeah Jack... At least I'm not dressed as a vegetable..."

Once more, Sam decided to mediate, besides, she had something to say...

"Will you guys just cannit!" As Jack turned she caught his surprise at her use of one of his catch phrases. Damn the man, there should be a law banning men in giant vegetable suits from looking so good!

"Sorry Sam" came the stereo response of the two, a penitent schoolboy was certainly a good look for her colonel... *enough* Sam, control yourself!

"I would just like to say Happy Birthday to Major Feretti, here's to another few years!"

As the crowd cheered, Sam returned to Jack.

"OK, major... lay it on, I can take anything you can dish out!"

Sam didn't answer; she just smirked up at him through suspiciously lowered eyelashes. This was probably gonna end her career, but hey, no gut's no glory!

She slowly circled Jack, who didn't really know what she was up to, but to have her circling him like this all slinky and sexy made him not give a damn what she was up to, as long as there was more of it. She lifted her arms above her head and whispered seductively, "Just for you Sir, by request..."

Jack looked on as Sam removed her Mrs. Potato Head outfit, revealing a tight black top, and very tight black pants. As she fluffed up her hair, a pair of high black stilettos were added (from a laughing Janet) and finally the band began to play "We go together" from "Grease". Her transformation complete, as decidedly sexy major now Olivia Newton John blushed at the wolf whistles coming from the crowd, but she was waiting for the only response that mattered to her.

"Well Jack, wanna be Travolta after all?"

"Woah, Sam... I dunno.... I'd kinda got used to the Mrs. Potato Head thing..."

A series of boo's from the now captivated audience was followed by a rather authoritative voice...

"Colonel, you better give the lady the answer she wants to hear, or it will be mineral surveys for the next six months, do you understand me Son?

"Yes Sir, General Woody sir."

"Well Sam, what are you asking?" Those eyebrows waggled suggestively.

Ok, this was it...all her dreaming, no going back now. Besides with the general on board she couldn't exactly back out now. "Why don't you come with me and see? Or are ya scared?"

"Never. I'd follow you anywhere Sam, anywhere" The emotion behind the words was missed by no-one, especially not Sam who watched stunned as her colonel shrugged off his costume, revealing a black jumper and black pants. OK, that was a lethal combination for the man who had looked amazing in a vegetable suit. No words came, and Jack understood perfectly her reaction. After all, he'd only just recovered from her transformation.

"How about we see what we can accomplish as humans then Sam?"

Jack took her into his arms as the band took the prompt off General Woody and began to play a slow sweet song, designed with romance in mind. They intertwined against each other as the cheers went up. Finally a start had been made. The interaction and tension, which flowed between the two like the wormhole between gates, had finally been made public. All present smiled a smile in the realisation that this was right, that they were right together.

"So what *were* you asking Major..."

"Oh, I just wondered if you would like to see where we can go with this"

"No need Sam. I know how I feel and I know where we are going..."

Her brows knitted as she valiantly tried to ignore the heat spreading through her as she felt his breath in her ear. Reading her gaze he decided to put them both out of their misery...

"We're going to infinity and beyond... together. Do you have a problem with that Major Carter?"

"No sir. Lead on..."

With that he did. The kiss they shared to seal their fates allowed no doubts or uncertainty, "We *do* go together" Was the last coherent thought that passed through the scientist's mind. The colonel had given up on coherent thought about the same time as his major had removed Mrs. Potato Head, he had been right, there was no situation where she didn't look damn sexy, but holding her like this, she blew his mind.

All concerned knew that this was the beginning of something special.

The End.


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