samandjack.net

Story Notes: EMAIL: SelDear@bigpond.com

SPOILERS: 'Frozen', 'Nightwalkers', hints of 'Abyss'

SEASON/SEQUEL INFO: Season Six - set post-Abyss

SERIES: None

CONTENT WARNING: sexual allusions

DATE: August 6th, 2002

ARCHIVED: Heliopolis, SJA

AUTHOR'S NOTES: It came to me - well, with a lot of help from other people - in a chatroom after 'Nightwalkers' (which I haven't seen, by the way!). Special thanks go to Denise who really provided a lot of the humour for this and prompted an ending when I got stuck. This one is dedicated to all the peeps who keep my online mornings interesting!


She took the curves fast on the way through the Garden of the Gods and listened to Jonas squeaking behind her. It was a small, petty thing to take out her irritation on Jonas, but she'd been stuck baby-sitting him after Teal'c decided that the Colonel needed his help to set up the barbecue more than Sam needed help taking Jonas down to Manitou Springs to get a leather jacket.

Each swing of the road brought with it another tightening of the arms around her waist, and she smiled grimly and balanced them neatly along the winding road back to the Colonel's house.

Jonas was wearing his coveted leather jacket to keep the wind out - and the luggage down. Sam admitted he looked pretty smart in it - although nothing compared to Colonel O'Neill in his jacket - and the shop girl had been making eyes at him.

"Thanks for taking me out!" He yelled over the noise of the bike and the rushing wind.

"You're welcome!" She yelled back, even though he wasn't.

"Do people really use the stuff in that shop?"

As Sam had discovered in the leather equipment shop, one of the most annoying things about Jonas was his ability to ask embarrassing questions at inopportune times.

Inopportune times such as in the shop, when he'd picked up a leather collar adorned with metal studs and asked her, "Hey, Sam, what's this for?" The question was asked in true innocent curiosity; and in Jonas' clear, carrying tones, was heard all through the store.

Someone in the shop had guffawed as Sam went a deeper shade of scarlet than she'd ever gone in her entire life, "Honey, you better get take than home and *show* him what it's used for!"

Back on the bike, with the engine humming between her knees, Sam resolved that next time it was the Colonel or Teal'c's turn to take Jonas shopping. Preferably for something masculine and embarrassing.

"Yes," she told Jonas in answer to his question about people really using things like dog-collars and leather accoutrements. "They do!"

"Your people have some strange customs!"

*And you don't know the half of it.* Sam didn't say any more.

Jonas did. "Teal'c said you've never taken anyone out on your bike before!"

*Don't get used to it, buddy,* Sam grimaced. "I never had time or opportunity," she replied, leaning carefully to take the next hairpin turn. She usually loved riding by herself. The speed and the danger were exhilarating, although she could see the astonished expressions of her friends at the thought of Sam Carter, adrenaline junkie. Daniel would never let her live it down...

Damn. There she went again.

"You've never taken Colonel O'Neill out on your motorcycle, have you?"

Now why did he ask that question?

Sam shook her head and took another hairpin turn. She was just getting paranoid after everything that had happened in the last six months.

"No."

The conversation should have ended there.

Of course, since it was Jonas she was conversing with, it didn't.

He was as bad as...

...as bad as Daniel in that respect.

"Why not?"

"Why would I?"

"You're friends, aren't you?"

That was one way of putting it. "It wouldn't be proper."

"It wouldn't *be* proper, or you wouldn't *feel* proper?"

She was getting tired of yelling over her shoulder. "If you keep this up, I won't take you riding again."

He shut up.

Thank God.

They reached the Colonel's house without further mishap or conversation - although on a couple of the turns, she could feel Jonas' arms tightening around her waist. Okay, so she was having a bit of fun with him, making the turns a little tighter than necessary - kinda like the way she'd been tugging McKay's strings a few weeks previously - but it was harmless fun. People who thought she was 'Miss Perfect Priss' Carter didn't know her very well.

Which was why she'd always appreciated the Colonel's sense of humour; it matched her own.

Hauling off her helmet, she could hear a discussion between a clear adolescent voice and a deep bass rumble: Cassie and Teal'c debating something. Snatches of conversation floated through the summer evening air as Sam walked the bike into the garage beside the Colonel's pickup. It sounded like Cassie's class at school had just done the American Civil War, and she was talking about the concepts of slavery and freedom with Teal'c.

"So this barbecue is an Earth custom?"

"Yeah, something like that. You'll see." Sam pulled off her riding gloves and scrubbed one hand through her hair to try to neaten it up a little as she walked around the corner of the garage and into the backyard.

"Hey, Sam!" At seventeen, Cassie was much too grown-up to rush across the lawn and hug Sam anymore, but she was not too grown-up to return Sam's wave.

"Sam, Jonas..." Janet came down the steps of the verandah with a bowl of what looked like coleslaw in her hands. "We were wondering if you guys were gonna turn up," the dark eyes twinkled, "Or if you got lost in the leather shops of Manitou Springs."

Sam had a retort on her lips, but was interrupted by the emergence of Colonel O'Neill from the house.

"Carter! Good to see you made it to Manitou and back." The Colonel was holding a plate of steaks in his hand. Evidently the barbecue was just beginning.

"Colonel O'Neill!"

"Quinn. How was the shopping?"

"Sam took me for a ride!"

A silence greeted that pronouncement. It seemed Sam had not used up her quota of embarrassment for the day, after all.

Up went the eyebrows, nearly to the hairline. "You *took* him for a *ride*?"

Janet had this expression on her face like she badly wanted to laugh but didn't dare. Jonas seemed aware that he'd said something wrong, but didn't know what it was, or how to take it back.

"On the motorcycle, sir."

"On the bike you won't even let me touch?" Uh-oh. She'd only warned him away from it *once*, and that was because he'd taken one glance and gotten this dreamy look in his eyes. Sam hadn't trusted him not to filch her keys and take her precious bike out for a ride. "The one you make Siler lock up when we go off-world?"

"Uh...yes, sir."

Her commanding officer looked miffed. "You've never taken *me* riding, Carter."

Jonas looked like he was about to say something, but the Colonel held up one hand, and, for a change, Jonas shut up.

"I didn't think you'd fit on the bike."

Brows arched, and in the mildest of voices he inquired: "Are you saying I'm fat?"

He *would* have an instant comeback!

There was a choked splutter from Janet, before she caught the Colonel's glance and took the salad over to the table. Teal'c and Cassie were just coming over, and Janet adroitly handed her daughter the salad and instructed her to take it to the table - and, not incidentally, out of earshot of the repartee.

"I have heard it said about the base that you have developed a fat head through the accomplishments of SG-1, O'Neill."

"What? Who said that?"

"Sergeant Siler."

"Why, that no-good, son of a..." He caught Janet's warning glare and hastily amended, "...gun..."

Sam reminded him: "He fixes your computer, sir."

"I could get you to fix it, Carter."

"You don't pay me enough."

"I brought you coffee!"

"Daniel was the sucker-punch for coffee, sir..." The words were out before she realised what she'd said.

A peculiar expression crossed her commanding officer's face: almost like he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Then he muttered, "He'll be having a hard time getting that blend he liked where he is now..."

The use of the present tense struck her like a blow, and the loss rolled in on her again before she forced it away. "The ascended blend. Specially glowed for that richer, fuller flavour?" The tension eased a little.

A smile twitched on Teal'c's face then vanished into a slightly guilty expression. The ascended were serious beings to the equally-serious Jaffa - to make jokes about them was rather like making jokes about...well...the kind of people you *didn't* make jokes about.

But Colonel O'Neill snorted and the tension eased a little more, "I'm the funny one, Carter. Leave the humour to the experts."

Ooh, she'd get him for that! Somehow.

There was no response she could make, and when he saw she'd been temporarily stumped by his words, he grinned and added, "Right, Teal'c, go show Jonas where the food is. He hasn't eaten anything in over fifteen minutes at least - he's probably chewing his own innards by now. Carter, you're helping me with the steaks."

A sizzling noise rose from the grill plate as they laid the steaks out in comfortable silence, only broken by his question, "So when *are* you gonna take me for a ride, Carter?"

"Next time you need a leather jacket, sir."

"What got him interested in leather jackets, anyway?"

"Teal'c had one, I had one - I think he'd seen you in yours at some time. He asked if it was an Earth custom, or just an SG-1 thing."

"Daniel never had one."

Daniel was a weird topic for them all. Sometimes they talked about him, sometimes they didn't. Sometimes he was referred to in past tense, sometimes he was referred to in present tense.

Sam prodded a steak with the tongs. "Daniel didn't need one. He had the local girls all over him anyway."

"So, first I'm fat, and now I need a leather jacket to up my coolness factor?" He sounded miffed, and she laughed.

"Sir, your quips are writing cheques that your existence cannot possibly pay for."

Another snort of amusement.

Sam glanced from the steak to him, and hesitated before asking: "Are you..." she paused. 'Okay' didn't quite fit the situation. Neither did 'good', 'fine ', or 'getting better.'

"Doc cleared me," he said, shortly. "I'm fine." Typical Colonel brusqueness. And typical Colonel care for his people. "And before you start kicking yourself again, may I remind you that I'm glad you asked me to take...it."

"It caused a lot of trouble."

"*Living* causes me a lot of trouble, Carter. Getting...one of *them*..." He grimaced, but there was a tension in him that advised Sam not to push the issue. "Look, it's...good to be out here. Back home. Grilling steaks on the barbie and hanging out with friends. The Tok'ra are really quite...boring. No offense to Dad. They just don't have much of a sense of humour. And..." he paused, and she got the impression that he changed the topic entirely. "You know, it's the little things you miss. Like barbecues, and friends to share it with."

The others were coming up to them now, so Sam settled for a smile, "I'm glad you're back, sir."

He smiled back, lopsided and charming. "Me too, Carter. Me too."

Cassie came up the stairs and slipped her arm around Sam's waist with easy familiarity. "Hello!" A kiss on the cheek and a brief hug followed. "How was shopping? Did you come back with anything nice?"

"Jonas got a leather jacket," Sam explained, pointing at the item in question as Teal'c, Janet, and Jonas came over to them. And then the idea struck. "Oh, Jonas..." She called her team-mate over.

"Sam?" The whole 'let's call Major Carter by her first name' was a bit annoying. She'd gotten used to only being referred to like that from certain people: Janet, Cassie, her Dad...Daniel. But what else was Jonas gonna call her?

"You know the items you were curious about in the shop?" Sam smiled as she got up from where she was leaning. "Colonel O'Neill knows *exactly* how they 're used. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to explain them to you."

A Christmas tree in December didn't have a chance against Jonas' eyes. They lit up with interest, "Really?"

"Absolutely." Sam grinned at her commanding officer as his expression demanded: *What have you just gotten me into, Carter?* "Hey, Cass, let's go over to the table and you can tell me the latest news..."

As they sat down, she heard the murmur of Jonas' voice asking his questions, and Janet's shout of laughter, quickly muffled. With her own sixth sense, Sam felt the Colonel's deadly gaze on her from eight yards away and grinned as she asked Cassie, "So, what's been happening with Dominic?"

Oh, revenge was sweet.

THE END!

feeeed me! Oh feeeed me! SelDear@bigpond.com




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