Grief by Christine Bosman

[Report This]
- Text Size +

Story Notes: E-mail: cbosman@pt.lu

Category: SJ Friendship

Season/Sequel info: This is an episode addition to Cold Lazarus

Spoilers: Cold Lazarus Archive SJA exclusive

"Hi, Daniel," Sam said as she walked into his laboratory, "I just finished my report and wondered if the Colonel is back already from P3X562?"

Daniel smiled at his friend and answered: "Yes, he returned about half an hour ago. I still think we should give these planets names instead of numbers."

Anxiously Sam asked: "And how was the Colonel doing, after saying goodbye to his son a second time?"

Daniel had to think about that before he answered: "He was really quiet and he did seem upset, but you know the Colonel," Sam finished with him: "he never shows his feelings."

At the spur of the moment Sam decided to go check on Jack herself. Daniel told her that Jack was in his quarters and that is where she went. She knocked and Jack called that she could enter. Still trying to find the courage to ask her CO such private questions, she stepped inside. As always, when she was unsure of what to say, she blurted out the first thing that came into her head: "Hello, Sir, how's Charlie doing?"

Jack looked away from the TV screen, apparently he had been watching Oprah, and stared at her. After a few minutes, the question seemed to be processed in his head and he answered with a dull sound in his voice: "Charlie is dead, he died years ago."

With a shock Sam realised that he had misunderstood her, that she had been extremely stupid and insensitive. She coloured a bright red and started to apologise and explain herself immediately: "Oh, God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean..., how could I be so stupid, I was talking about the crystal, who had taken the form of your son. And instead of asking you that, I just blurt out the one totally wrong question. Please forgive me, Sir."

As always no emotion showed on Jack's face. With a toneless voice he replied: "It's okay, Carter, and the crystal is okay too." But Sam felt that it was not okay, that Jack was not okay and that made her ask the next question: "But how about you, Sir, how are you dealing with all this?" Jack wanted to tell her that he was fine, great in fact, but that he didn't have the time to chat, he was watching TV. What was he watching anyway? Jack glanced at the screen and saw that he was watching Oprah. A closer look revealed the topic: Women of fifty+ deal with the increasing effects of gravity on their bodies. But that wasn't what was important. What was important, though, was that Carter would leave him alone. So he opened his mouth to tell her his excuse, prepared to be rude if he had to be.

But instead of all that, he heard himself say: "I miss him so much, Sam."

She walked towards him, she had been standing close to the door, and pleadingly said: "Then tell me about it, Jack, tell me what happened. It might make you feel better."

He looked at her and with a guiltridden voice replied: "But I don't want to feel better, it was all my fault, you see. First I got Charlie killed and then I ruined my marriage. I ought to feel horrible." Sam now seated herself beside him on the couch and said: "You are wrong, you don't deserve that, no one does."

He looked at her with his eyes full of uncried tears. Then he looked away again. "Carter, you don't want to know this and I don't want to tell you." But Sam persisted, she didn't really know why, it must be that motherly streak in her, that always wanted to help people, especially totally mixed up people. She turned his head with her hand and gently said: "I do want to know and you do have to tell someone. But if you really want me to go, I will go now."

Then Jack broke down, and told her everything. He didn't cry, even though Sam started crying very soon after he had started, until he came to the part where Charlie had tried to apologise for being naughty. He looked away, ashamed, but Sam caught him in a comforting embrace and he hid his face against her, crying finally for the loss of Charlie. He cried a long time and Sam comforted him like a mother would comfort her son.

At last his tears dried up. Feeling even more ashamed and embarrassed than before, Jack looked at his 2IC. He started to apologise, but Sam interrupted him. "No Jack, you don't have to apologise, this is what friends do for each other," and then with a small smile, "any time you want to ruin one of my shirts again, just tell me." Jack still looked dazed, missing the joke completely. Serious again Sam continued: "But I mean it, you can talk to me anytime, and you don't have to worry, I won't tell anyone about this."

Jack was still wiping the tears from his face, but now he took Sam's hand. "Thank you Sam, for being there for me. Anytime you need me, for anything, anything at all, call me and I will help you."

Sam rose from the couch and with a smile, she said goodbye.

The End (copyright (c) 2000 Christine Bosman)

I discovered that I love feedback, please tell me what you think. Christine

"Archaeology is a fascinating pursuit, but, after all, one cannot work day and night... Peabody, my darling Peabody -- what a perfectly splendid time we are going to have!" Emerson to his new fiancée (Crocodile on the Sandbank)

Table of Contents | Reviews - 1 |

[Report This]

You must login (register) to review.