" I know love is a fragile thing
And I'm trying hard to make it last
But it ain't easy holding on to a dream
When he's holding on to the past."
~ 'The Fool', LeeAnn Womack
~*~
It started out as one of those pointless arguments, the kind where you forget what you started arguing about and can't remember who said the first word but by the time you realise that, it's too late. The damage has been done and nothing you can say or do can put things right.
That's what Colonel Jack O'Neill found as he drove aimlessly around the block, keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of his missing lover.
" Way to go, O'Neill," he berated himself as he gave up, pulling into the drive. " Open mouth, insert foot."
He hadn't meant it. He still didn't know what had possessed him to say it. It just.. came out. His cheek still stung from her reaction to his comment, the skin angry and red. He could clearly remember the look that appeared in her eyes at his words; and that memory hurt more than the physical pain she'd inflicted.
Jack had swore to himself that he would never hurt her, not if he was fortunate enough to get her back. And yet.. He had. He'd cut her deeper than even he realised.
Sighing heavily in defeat, regret lining his features, he entered his house and closed the door behind him, heading straight for the cupboard where he kept a carefully hidden bottle of whiskey, knowing the only sleep he'd get that night would come through drinking himself into oblivion.
~*~
Curled up on the bed in her quarters, Major Samantha Carter pulled her knees even closer to her chest as she squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't sleep and she wouldn't cry. She just hurt.
He had hurt her. The person she'd thought would never hurt her. Not in any physical way. She was sure he would never do that, but on one side, the way he'd hurt her was worse. It was a lot worse and would last a lot longer in memory than it would for a physical wound to heal.
They had started talking about Velenthia; the subject brought up by a comment Jack had made over how she didn't have to wear the locket the King had given her all the time. He admitted it was an unwelcome reminder of her time away and she'd argued that it was a personal reminder of the people she'd met there.. The argument had quickly escalated and Jack had eventually blurted out what the locket really reminded him of..
" Forgive me for being blunt but what guy really wants a constant reminder that his girlfriend was a hooker?"
He had immediately appeared remorseful but it was too late. She acted on instinct, slapped him and fled.
Sam hadn't wanted to go anywhere he could find her so she left for the base, knowing he wouldn't think to look for her there. He would go to her old house, the one she was reluctant to sell despite having moved in with him, and when he didn't find her there, he would call Doctor Janet Fraiser, then Doctor Daniel Jackson and finally, he would call Evelyn and Nicholi Kavise. Then, she suspected, he would give up and wait for her to make her whereabouts known, which she would, on base, where they had to be the Colonel and the Major, rather than Sam and Jack.
The words stung and whirled around in her head, joining a thousand questions that formed from insecurities she had hoped were banished away for good. Is that what he really thought? Is that how he saw her? Did he look at her when she was lying asleep beside him at night and conjure up images of what she'd had to do? Deep down, did he feel the same way about her as some others did? Was he disgusted, appalled, shocked? Did he resent her for it? Was he going to turn around one day and tell her he couldn't get past it and that they'd be better off apart?
Alone, in the sparse, military-feel quarters, Sam found she couldn't answer any of those questions. She lay down, still curled up tightly and started blindly at the wall, a hand instinctively rising to the locket that had caused the argument as her fingers wound themselves up in the chain.
There was nothing wrong with having memories.. but what happened when something so dearly loved caused happy memories in one person and unpleasant memories in the other?
One single tear ran down her cheek. It was all she would allow to escape. She didn't understand how a gift given to her on a planet that tried to keep them apart was succeeding in doing what that whole planet of people had failed to do.
~*~
After sleepless nights for two members of the team, SG-1 gathered in the briefing room when General Hammond called for them. The condition of Sam and Jack escaped no one's attention but the General wisely decided to overlook the matter and get straight down to business.
" SG-6 were scheduled to return to the SGC at 0700 hours. They are two hours overdue and since SG-1 is the only complete unit on base who aren't on downtime. I'm sending you to retrieve them," General Hammond began. " We sent the MALP through this morning and found no sign of SG-6 or of any visible threats. Since you've all been to the planet before, you'll know what to expect, where to go, that sort of thing.."
" Which planet is it, General?" Daniel cut in curiously, noticing the lack of a report on the desk and the way General Hammond darted a look that could be construed as nervous in the direction of Sam and Jack.
" I was just getting to that, Doctor Jackson. The planet in question is Belethia. SG-6 were there because Captain Gardam started that it was a trade planet and that there might be something of importance there if we looked."
Breathing in slowly, Sam lowered her gaze to the table as she fought back the memories of her time on Belethia. Nothing much had happened to her there but it was the place the King of Velenthia's advisors had found her the first time around. She wondered whether it would be possible for then to find her again, neither over-joyed nor completely opposed to the idea.
" Of course," the General was saying as Sam tuned back into the conversation going on around her. " Given your past.. history.. with the planet, Major Carter, it would be understandable if you decided not to accompany the rest of SG-1 on this mission."
He looked at her expectantly and she felt the gazes of her tam mates and the two guards standing at the end of the room burn into her. She looked up and her eyes locked with Jack's, allowing her to read the message he was trying to convey, the one that told her to leave the past well alone and stay away. Narrowing her eyes, Sam made a decision based solely on her feelings; if he wouldn't let the past stay there, why should she? " I'll be fine going, General," she answered with a small smile that was more confident than she herself felt. " Belethia is a harmless planet unless someone claims ownership of you and tries to make a sale. Even then, it's considered illegal so if we stay to the main market area and keep away from any back street dealings, we'll be okay."
" Good." General Hammond appeared pleased with her answer. Daniel threw her a questioning glance, Jack frowned and Teal'c remained noncommittal. " You leave at 1000 hours. If you haven't checked in with the SGC by 1200 hours, SG-2 will be sent after you. Good luck, SG-1, and bring our people home. Dismissed."
Sam stood and left immediately after respectfully returning the General's salute. Daniel and Teal'c followed at a slower pace, both of them bemused, whilst Jack lingered behind.
" Colonel?" General Hammond paused in the doorway to his office. " Is there something I can do for you?"
" Take Carter off this mission," Jack responded instantly. At the General's raised eyebrow, he elaborated. " I don’t think it's a good idea for her to go back to Belethia. It'll dredge up too many memories for her and if anyone from Velenthia's there and sees she's alive.. She might get taken from us again."
" I'm well aware of the possibilities, Colonel, but it's your job and the job of Doctor Jackson and Teal'c to ensure that doesn't happen. If you have doubts as to Major Carter's ability as an officer, I'd be more than happy to discuss them.."
" No." Jack shook his head and sighed heavily. " I have no doubts about her capabilities as an officer.."
" Then I suggest you learn how to keep your personal differences off my base," General Hammond warned. His expression softened at the sign that escaped Jack's lips. " Is there trouble at home, Son?"
Jack looked up and met his CO's eyes for a long moment before forcing a smile. " Nothing a lot of grovelling and apologising on my part won't fix. At least I hope I can fix it."
Entering the office away from the prying eyes of the guards, mindful of the rumours and speculation already circulating the base, General Hammond motioned for Jack to do the same thing. " Something you want to talk about? Off-the-record, of course." He sat down in his chair and watched as Jack did the same.
" I said something I shouldn't have," Jack murmured, wondering in some distant part of his mind why he didn't feel uncomfortable telling the General this. Maybe, he reasoned to himself, it was because of General Hammond's affection for both himself and Sam. " I made an.. unkind.. comment about what she did on Velenthia.. It hurt her. She hasn't spoken to me since."
" I assume you're referring to the.. lifestyle.. she had to adopt in order to survive? Her profession as a courtesan?" General Hammond pressed gently, studying Jack's reaction, knowing from the flash of guilt in the younger man's eyes that he was right. " Colonel.. Jack. I know it must be hard for you to acknowledge what Major Carter had to do, especially given the new developments in your relationship with her but try and put yourself in her position." He held his hand up to stop Jack from protesting. " Just think about it for a minute. You're trapped on a planet light years from home. Being a courtesan, or the male equivalent, is the only method of living that will guarantee your survival until a time when you can either escape or are rescued. Would you embrace that lifestyle and keep hope alive that someday you'll make it home or would you choose to die without ever getting to go home and tell the people you care about that you love them?"
" I'd make the same choice Sam did, obviously," Jack started to say, stopping when General Hammond nodded and held his hand up again.
" Now, imagine you make it home. How do you think people will react to you? Even if they're the most understanding people in the world and would willingly die for you, how would you expect them to react?" The General smiled encouragingly as Jack shifted in his chair. " Major Carter has been through a lot, possibly more than we all realise. She may have passed the psyche evaluations and may have found strength in her friends support.. but she is still trying to deal with the aftermath of all she's been through. She will probably be dealing with it for the next few months if not the next few years. This isn't easy for her. She might try to appear in control of everything all the time but underneath the tough exterior is a very sensitive woman."
Closing his eyes, Jack nodded and rubbed his forehead. " I know," he sighed deeply. " I've tried to be supportive of her but.. every time I see that damn locket, I'm reminded of everything she's been through.. and how I failed her. I look at the necklace and remember how I let her go and couldn't find her in time to stop all of that from happening to her."
" So it's guilt rather than disgust," General Hammond smiled sympathetically. " Have you told her that? When you said whatever it is you said, did you explain it was caused by guilt and not by repulsion?"
" I didn't have time," Jack replied, frustration evident in his face. " She slapped me and left and I didn't see her again until we were here."
Biting back a chuckle, General Hammond nodded. " I wondered where that bruise came from. She has quite an arm on her."
" Oh, yeah." Jack agreed wholeheartedly, rubbing his cheek where the evidence of the truth in that statement was. " I should go find her," he mumbled, getting to his feet. " Clear this up before we go."
" That's a good idea." Making no move to stand, General Hammond watched Jack leave the office, shaking his head. SG-1 had been through so much recently, he hoped they would make it over this latest hurdle and through their mission unscathed.
~*~
Despite his best intentions, Jack didn't get the chance to clear the air between Sam and himself. She had already been and gone from the locker by the time he reached there as only Teal'c and Daniel remained, the two having a quiet conversation to try and discern the problem between the command team of their unit.
" Did you see the bags under Sam's eyes? She looked like she got as much sleep as Jack did. Something's happened between them.." Daniel was saying as Jack entered the room. " An argument, maybe.."
" O'Neill." Teal'c cut Daniel off mid-sentence, alerting the archaeologist to the presence of one of the two people he was talking about.
Daniel turned to study Jack's expression, relieved to find no sign of Jack having over-heard the tail end of their conversation. " Jack! Hi. Um.. What's up?"
Throwing him a strange look, Jack crossed the room and opened his locker, ignoring the question and replacing it with one of his own. " You guys seen Sam? Or know where she's gone?"
" Major Carter was here several moments ago," Teal'c informed him." I believe she mentioned she was departing for Doctor Fraiser's Office."
" Yeah," Daniel added, clarifying Teal'c's statement. " Sam said she needed to talk to Janet before we left." He studied Jack more closely, refusing to look away even when the subject of his scrutiny looked up and caught him in the act. " Is something wrong, Jack? Did you guys have a fight or something?"
" Or something," Jack murmured, adjusting his jacket. " I screwed up in typical Jack O'Neill fashion. Lets just leave it at that.."
" Oh." Frowning to himself, Daniel finished getting ready and sat on the bench, watching his friend curiously. " Is there something we can do to help? Maybe it'd help to talk about it.."
Jack shook his head and closed his locker. " Thanks for the offer but I've already figured it out." He paused before leaving. " You can do me one thing, though. Keep an eye on Sam when we get to Belethia. We're not losing her again."
" We will ensure Major Carter returns with us, O'Neill," Teal'c vowed solemnly, bowing his head. Jack nodded in return and left the locker room. " O'Neill is deeply troubled at the thought of returning to Belethia."
Daniel sighed and nodded. " He's probably wary because that's where Sam was passed from Astrone to the advisors of Velenthia. There's a chance someone's going to recognise her, news might have spread that they think she's a witch.. It *could* be dangerous."
" Then we must make sure Major Carter is protected at all times," Teal'c stated decisively, striding determinedly out of the locker room. Daniel looked after him for a few seconds, scurrying after his friend when he realised he had been left alone.
~*~
Searching the infirmary proved unsuccessful for Jack, too. He found the infirmary to be quite busy with two patients and a handful of nurses fussing over them but there was no Sam. Walking through to Janet's office, he was dismayed to find no one there, not even the petite doctor.
Fighting the urge to punch something, Jack glanced at the clock and saw it was almost time to meet his team in the gateroom. Hurrying through the hallways of the SGC, Jack made it to the Gateroom to find all of his team assembled there, including Sam, who stood in conversation with no other than Doctor Janet Fraiser.
" Carter!" He approached her with relief in his eyes, giving a small nod in Janet's direction to acknowledge her being there. " Sam," he continued in a lower tone when she refused to look at him. " I need to talk to you."
" Colonel," Sam gazed at him impartially. " Is there a problem, Sir?"
" Drop the ranks, Sam," Jack murmured softly. " This isn't a military matter and you know it."
" If it isn't a military matter, it has no place being discussed on base," Sam answered calmly.
Shaking his head, barely managing to contain his frustration, Jack reached out for her, stopping when she flinched. It wasn't her reaction that stopped him. It was the lack of something that stopped him. The lack of something sparkling around her neck over the collar of her clothes, the lack of something he had grown accustomed to seeing. " You took your locket off."
Sam tensed as Janet forced a weak, reassuring smile and moved away to stand at a safe distance, giving the two some privacy. " I didn't think it was appropriate to wear it on duty, Sir. Nor did I think it would be appropriate or professional to wear something that made my Commanding Officer think of me as a hooker."
" Aw, come on! I didn't mean that! You know I don't see you that way. We've talked about this, you know I.." The rest of his sentence was lost as the last chevron locked and the Stargate activated.
" SG-1, you have a go." General Hammond's voice came over the speakers. SG-1 looked to the window of the control room, Sam and Jack returning the General's salute as Teal'c and Daniel started up the ramp. Sam followed before Jack could stop her, leaving him with no choice but to start after her, telling himself they'd talk about it as soon as they got back.
~*~
Belethia was just as they remembered it – hot and unrelenting. In complete silence, the team made their way from the Stargate to the edge of the forest where Daniel had first spotted the village. Sam squinted in the near-blinding light and peered through her binoculars at what had caught her attention, a gasp torn from her throat when she saw the five objects up close.
Imitating her, Jack looked through his binoculars and swallowed quickly. " Jesus," was all he said as he handed them over to an impatient Daniel.
" That's SG-6!" Daniel exclaimed, breaking the silence that had descended over them. He looked through the binoculars again and swallowed convulsively. " They don't look too good."
The other members of his team couldn't argue. SG-6 had been lined up and tied to posts in the centre of the usually deserted market. Even from a distance, SG-1 could see their colleagues had been there for a while, all five members of SG-6 appearing dehydrated and weak.
" Lets go, Campers," Jack straightened and started marching on towards the path. " Keep your eyes and ears open for any signs of trouble." Silently, his team heeded his orders and fell into step behind him, all of them on their guard, their weapons ready to use if they needed them.
SG-6 looked worse when they were standing in front of them than they had from a distance. Not only were they all bound to the posts by their hands and legs, they were all wearing gags. Bruises mottled the skin that was visible, skin that was red and blistered from continuous exposure to the intense sunlight.
" Alright, let's get these guys untied," Jack spoke up, glancing around uneasily. Although there was no one around, he couldn’t fight the feeling that they were being watched.
As they got closer to SG-6, Captain Andrea Gardam opened her eyes. On seeing Sam standing in front of her, her eyes widened and she tried to shake her head, wincing when the movement caused her skin to brush the material of her clothes, aggravating the burns she'd received.
Confused by the reaction, Sam reached around and untied the gag, taking her canteen from her pack and helping Gardam drink when all the other woman could do was cough and choke. " Captain? What happened here?" Sam asked as she started to unfasten the knots at the back of the post to release Gardam's hands, her team mates doing the same for the other four members of SG-6.
" We walked into a trap," Gardam coughed, her throat still dry. " It was that guy from Velenthia," she continued, her voice taking on an edge of urgency as she twisted to look at Sam. " You've got to get out of here, Major. He recognised me and set up another trap so that he could.."
" Now, now, now. It's no fun if you spoil the surprise." The voice made Sam jump; it was that close to her ear. No one had heard Lord Jalen and his guards approach, too busy concentrating on their task of getting their colleagues out of there. Lord Jalen roughly grabbed Sam and pulled her against him, holding a knife against her throat as Jack and Teal'c advanced on him. " I wouldn't come any closer, unless you want the witch to die." Jalen grinned as Jack and Teal'c reluctantly stopped walking and glared at him as Jalen's guards moving over to them. " Now, drop your weapons." He held the blade of the knife closer to Sam's neck, making her bite her lip against a cry of pain when the sharp edge dug into her throat, a bead of blood standing out like a beacon in the night against the paleness of her skin. The members of SG-1 lay down their weapons as soon as they saw it, tensing as Jalen pulled Sam closer towards him. " Tie them up with the others," Jalen ordered his guards. " Let this be a lesson to the people of Belethia, a warning not to help and associate themselves with convicted criminals of Velenthia."
As his guards seized the three male members of SG-1, Jalen started pulling Sam in the direction of the row of houses.
" Hey!" Jack called out, stopping him in his tracks, struggling in the tight grip of the guard holding him, getting hit in the nose for his troubles.
" I wouldn’t fight them, Colonel," Jalen told him sweetly. " They wouldn't think twice about killing you."
" Where are you taking Sam?" Daniel wanted to know, glaring at the guard who tied him to his post.
Grinning suggestively at Sam, Jalen traced a pattern with the tip of the knife's blade up her neck and along her jaw. " Samantha and I have some.. unfinished business." He chuckled heartily at the expression of horror on her face and pulled her back against him. " Do not worry yourselves, Samantha will soon join you here. She may be dead, but she will still join you."
Holding the knife at her throat, Lord Jalen marched Sam away from her friends, with her team mates in no position to help her. Captain Gardam watched them go and lowered her head in defeat, closing her eyes. She'd tried to warn them.. but the warning had come too late.
~*~
" Psst.." Almost an hour after being tied up, Jack started at sound of someone whispering at his side. Unable to speak or ask who it was because of the gag, he twisted his head painfully, hoping to see Sam or another SG-team, feeling a little disappointment when his eyes came to rest on Machupa, the trader who had given them the information on where to find Sam in the first place. " Colonel." Machupa stepped out of his shadowy hiding place, darting his gaze around nervously. " Have the guards departed?"
A nod was the only answer Jack could give.
Smiling in relief, Machupa quickly made his way to the bound Colonel and deftly undid the binds keeping him in place. He moved onto untying Daniel as Jack undid his own gag and started work on Teal'c. Soon, all three members of SG-1 were free, helping to untie the team they were sent to rescue.
" Machupa," Daniel turned to the short man as the last team member stepped away from his post on unsteady legs. He was stopped from saying more by Machupa, who hushed him with a glare.
" We must be quiet," Machupa murmured, stealthily creeping across the empty ground of the village centre, motioning to the others to follow him. He led them into his house, shutting the door securely behind him before lighting some candles. Fidgeting nervously with his hands, Machupa nodded to a sink in the corner of the room. " There is plenty of water if your friends need to quench their thirst."
" Thank you," Jack nodded his thanks as Teal'c moved to get some water for the severely dehydrated members of SG-6. " Machupa.. Why did you help us?"
" What happened here?" Daniel asked at the same time.
" It is inhumane, Lord Jalen has no right to take such control of our planet," Machupa answered simply, darting a nervous look at the door. " Lord Jalen arrived here two sun cycles ago, demanding we give him the address of your planet. He had traced your knowledge of Velenthia to someone here. Your friends arrived after he did and he recognised Captain Gardam. He tied them to the pillars in the market place, demanding that they give the symbols of your planet to him but they refused. Lord Jalen declared that they would be an example to the rest of us, that they would prove that lack of co-operation led to death. He thought your planet would send more of your people through to help your friends and set a trap, hoping to gain information. I assume he wanted information on where the woman you came here searching for was. Now he has her," Machupa concluded sadly.
" Not for long," Jack retorted resolutely. " Do you know where he took her?"
Machupa paused thoughtfully. " I believe he may have taken her to the house he purchased. I can take you there, if you wish?"
" Thanks." Jack nodded and looked around. " Okay, here's the plan. Daniel, you're with me. Teal'c, you stay here and keep an eye out for Jalen's guards."
Captain Gardam stood up. " I'm going with you, Sir." She threw Jack a look when he was about to protest. " We'll stand more chance of rescuing Major Carter if there are more of us."
" Very well." Jack nodded, briefly wondering why Gardam was so eager to help, seeing something akin to remorse in her eyes. 'She feels guilty for letting Sam be taken,' he realised, knowing how she was feeling only too well. " Good to have you aboard, Gardam."
Jack started for the door, only to be stopped when Daniel spoke up. " Ah, Jack?" The others turned to stare at him and Daniel shifted under their scrutiny. " I'm all for getting Sam back.. but we've got no guns. How are we going to get her away from Lord Jalen without something to.."
" I know where your weapons were taken," Machupa interrupted, his eyes wide. " Lord Jalen gave them to Pilup for safe keeping. Pilup is a friend, he will return them to you if you wish."
" Oh, thanks." Daniel stood up and joined Jack and Gardam at the door. " Lets go."
Machupa smiled nervously and opened the door, peeking out to make sure there was no one there before stepping out completely. " You may come now." He waved for the others to follow him, and quickly started leading them to a house just a few feet away, continuously on the look out for any threats and dangers.
~*~
In a well-lit house on the other side of the village, Sam sat upright in her chair, staring blankly down at the food Lord Jalen had placed in front of her. He didn't expect her to eat it as he sat opposite, devouring his own meal, but for what he had planned, he would need his strength.
" You have not told me how you escaped, witch," Jalen commented around a mouthful of food. " You caused much alarm and surprise by disappearing."
" I don't have to tell you anything," Sam retorted coldly, crossing her arms over her chest.
" Samantha, Samantha, Samantha," Lord Jalen chuckled and wiped his mouth. He stood and moved over to her, towering over her where she sat. " I am merely interested in knowing whether you are truly a witch. When I made the accusations, I did not believe them. I am curious, however, was I right all along?"
Frowning, Sam stared up at him. " If you knew I wasn't guilty, why did you accuse me of being a witch in the first place?"
Laughing, Lord Jalen pulled her to her feet and held her in a bruising embrace she couldn't get out of. " Revenge," he spat, all traces of humour vanishing. " You humiliated me, Samantha. And the King was such a fool in not letting me see you. Do you know how hard I tried? Do you know how many times he refused to let me?"
" I had nothing to do with that," Sam spoke through gritted teeth. " If you were angry with the King, why take it out on me?"
" Because he loved you," Lord Jalen answered. " Besides, nothing could have hurt him more than losing both his son and the woman he loved as a daughter within the space of several sun cycles."
" You murdered prince Taylin." It was a horrified statement, not a question. Seeing no signs of denial in his face, Sam renewed her efforts at getting away, only stopping when he pushed her roughly to the floor and withdrew the knife from his belt.
Shaking his head, Lord Jalen leaned over her. " Prince Taylin got what he deserved. Just as you shall have what you deserve."
" What are you going to do?" Sam demanded, willing her voice not to shake as she attempted to sit up, mindful of the vicious knife in Lord Jalen's hand. " Are you going to kill me, too? Like you killed Prince Taylin? Does it make you feel good?" She taunted, pushing herself to her feet, her eyes blazing as she backed slowly towards the door. " Is that what makes you feel like a man? Killing people who you think have done you wrong somehow?"
" My plans for you do not solely involve your blood on my hands," Lord Jalen grinned deviously, a manic sparkle shining from the depths of his eyes. He closed the gap between them, keeping a firm grip on the knife, making sure she could see it. When he was certain her eyes were on the blade and not on him, he pounced and grabbed her arm, pulling her brusquely away from the door, pushing her down on the bed. " You owe me, Samantha. You will prove to me tonight just why you were Velenthia's favourite courtesan."
" I will not," Sam seethed, pushing against him. " I left that part of my life behind me on Velenthia and I refuse to go back to it."
" I wasn't asking permission," Jalen sneered. He growled from the pit of his throat when she kicked and pushed him. After ten minutes of struggling, both of them were growing tired, he more so that her. Lord Jalen had had enough, and decided to get his revenge before she over-powered him.
Sam's eyes widened in shock as she gasped, her struggling arms growing limp. She looked down in surprise and saw the wound created by the knife he had plunged into her stomach. Pressing her hand against the gaping hole, she was sickened by the warm, sticky, red moist that coated her fingers. She fell back and closed her eyes tightly, the last image she saw being Jalen raising the blood stained knife again.
She prepared herself to feel another painful blow as the blade sliced into her but it never came.
There was the sound of gunfire, and she opened her eyes to find Captain Gardam standing in the door way, her gun smoking slightly, as Jack and Daniel flanked her, both rooted to the place they were standing as they stared on at the scene before them.
Lord Jalen fell to the floor, his expression frozen as he stared blindly ahead of him. He inhaled slowly, pain engulfing him from the waist up. The only comfort he could find as he took his last breath was knowing that his revenge had been enacted.
" Major Carter?" Gardam was the first person to move, Jack and Daniel still frozen by the sight of one of their nightmares coming true before their eyes. The Captain moved to Sam's side and shed her jacket, wrapping it around Sam's injury. " Major?"
" Hurts," Sam gasped, struggling to catch her breath. Her eyes moved to Jack's face as she gazed at him pleadingly, holding a shaking hand out towards him. " Jack.."
Snapping into action at the sound of her voice, Jack moved over to her side as Daniel checked Lord Jalen was dead. " God, Sam." He took her hand, his stomach churning. There was so much blood, too much blood. It soaked through the thick material of her fatigues, staining them a darker colour. Staring into her pain-laden eyes, Jack felt something inside him clench painfully. " I'm so sorry.."
" No." Sam shook her head and tightened her hold on his hand. " Not like that."
" What?" Jack frowned, confused by her reaction, bringing her shaking hand up to rest at his cheek. " I don't understand.."
" Won't.. die.. like.. that," Sam gasped as a light sweat broke out across her face, covering her in its sheen.
Shaking his head, Jack gave her hand a squeeze. " You're not going to die, Sam. We're going to get you home and Doc's gonna work her magic on you. You're gonna be okay, Sam. You have to be."
She didn't have anything to say to that, and if she did, she didn't have time to say it. She smiled at him, weakly, and then her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped fully into Captain Gardam's waiting arms.
" Colonel, we have to get her back to Earth as soon as possible," Gardam announced, shaking Jack out of his trance as she felt Sam's weak pulse beneath her fingertips. " Colonel O'Neill! If we don't get her back soon, she is going to die."
" Right." Jack nodded and stood, reluctantly releasing Sam's hand. He turned, uncertain as to what he was looking for, until he saw Machupa in the doorway. " Machupa, is there any kind of transport you can get us? We need to get our.. our friend back to the Stargate and she can't walk.."
Machupa nodded, his eyes grave as they fell on the fallen woman. " I can arrange a cart for you. It will make your journey faster and smoother." He left before waiting for a reply, going to make the appropriate arrangements.
Jack knelt down by Sam's side once more, brushing the hair from her face as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. He had to believe she was going to be okay. He couldn't allow himself to think she was going to die with things so unsettled between them. He had to believe he would have the chance to make amends for what he'd said.
He had to.
If he didn't, he would have nothing to hold on to.
~*~
Sam and the members of SG-6 who were in the worst condition went first to the Stargate. Jack sent Daniel and Gardam with them, not wanting to leave Sam's side but knowing that he, as the Commanding Officer of the mission, couldn't leave the planet without every member of his team.
He, Teal'c and two others from SG-6 trailed behind, hearing the Stargate activate when they were only half way towards it.
" Doctor Fraiser is capable of helping Major Carter," Teal'c told Jack quietly as they continued climbing the hill. " If anyone can save her, it is Doctor Fraiser."
" I know, Teal'c," Jack couldn't bring himself to conjure even the smallest of grateful smiles. " I know." They continued the rest of the journey in silence; both lost in their own thoughts and hopes.
~*~
When they got back to base, they found Sam had already been taken to the OR. With General Hammond's permission, Jack joined Daniel and Teal'c outside in the hallway, waiting for all and any news.
" Mind if I join you?" The three men looked up to find Captain Gardam standing there, looking a little shy. Jack nodded to her and she took the spare seat, casting him a small smile. " Have you heard anything yet?"
" Not yet, Captain Gardam," Teal'c answered before his team mates could. " Doctor Fraiser has not yet departed the Operating Room."
" Oh." Gardam smiled what she hoped was an encouraging smile. " I'm sure she'll be okay. Doctor Fraiser is a great doctor.. and Major Carter's strong.."
" Thank you." Jack looked at her, his eyes troubled. " For killing that bastard before he could.."
Gardam nodded and forced a smile. " Major Carter will pull through," she told him softly. " I can't believe that she'd let him win."
The doors to the OR swung open and Janet, dressed in medical scrubs, approached them, her expression tired. She pulled the mask from over her face and stopped as the concerned team mates met her halfway. " She lost a lot of blood," Janet started. " But luckily the knife missed any major arteries. I've done all I can and hopefully stopped the bleeding. I don't think there'll be a scar but we'll have to wait and see."
" She's going to be okay?" Jack demanded, fighting the urge to grab Janet and shake her. " Is she going to be okay?"
Smiling, Janet nodded. " Sam's going to be fine. It was close but you got her back in time for us to help her. She'll probably be out of it for a couple of hours, and then I'll be confining her to the infirmary for a week so I can make sure there's no signs of any infection then you, Colonel, will be able to take her home."
" Can I see her?" Jack looked anxious as the doors to the OR opened and Sam was wheeled past on a gurney. She still looked pale. Deathly pale. " Doc..?"
" She's being taken to a private room," Janet assured him hurriedly. " I know she doesn't look well but I promise, we got to her in time. You can go and sit with her if you like, when you're not needed elsewhere."
Nodding, Jack didn't stop to say thank you. He was able to convey that in a small smile as he left the small group behind, following the gurney down the corridor.
Sighing, Janet slumped against the wall, closing her eyes. Gardam and Teal'c, both sensing the Doctor's exhaustion, discreetly walked away, both heading to see General Hammond. Gardam had a debriefing to attend and Teal'c decided he would update the General as to Sam's condition. Daniel remained behind, reaching out to tentatively touch Janet's shoulder.
" Janet? You okay?"
Opening one eye, Janet smiled and nodded. " Just tired," she replied, stifling a yawn with her hand. " That was close, you know. Had that knife struck her just one inch higher.."
" Don't think about it," Daniel told her softly, squeezing her shoulder before letting his hand drop back to his side. " Trust me, it's better not to think about it."
Pushing herself up against the wall, Janet started heading towards her office, with Daniel at her side. She allowed herself a brief moment to consider what would have happened if.. She shuddered and cut the thought short, knowing that he was right. It was better to think of what was, not what might have been.
~*~
No matter whereabouts in the world you were, the plastic chairs in hospital and infirmary rooms were anything but comfortable. Jack moved for what was the thirteenth time in as many minutes, trying to find a position he could stay in for an extended period of time.
Failing to find one, he leaned forward and took Sam's limp hand in his. " I'm sorry," he told her unconscious form deciding to practise his apology. " When I said what I said.. I didn't mean it. The locket.. I know how much it means to you and I don't want you to stop wearing it. It.. It just reminds me of my own failures, Sam. How I failed to protect you when I vowed I would. How I let you down, not the other way round." He brought her hand up to his lips and tenderly placed a kiss in her palm. " I'm sorry I let that bastard take you. I'm sorry I didn't find you in time. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I let Jalen take you again today."
He stroked a strand of hair from her face, leaning in to kiss her cheek softly. " You've got to wake up, Sam. If only so I can grovel in person." He caressed her cheek and leaned back again. " Take as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere."
" Not now.."
He slumped down in the chair, holding onto her hand tightly as he closed his eyes, willing the hours to pass quickly so he could put things right.
".. Not ever."
~*~
" I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you."
~ 'I'll be There for You', Bon Jovi
~*~
Story Notes: Near Yet Far: AUTHOR'S NOTES: Feedback of all types welcome at either stated address. I suggest you read at least Near Yet Far: Home Is.. before reading this. I needed something to counteract the sap in 'NYF: Home is..' and this is what I came up with. This is the sequel to both Near Yet Far and NYF: Home is.
DEDICATION: Lynn and LM for their support. Peps – BGR rules ;)
DEDICATION: Lynn and LM for their support. Peps – BGR rules ;)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]