Sam was sitting at her desk; trying to do some work while listening to the radio. She was looking to artifacts they brought back from their latest mission. Somehow, she was unable to concentrate on anything than the soft music playing in the background. It was her favorite music, but sometimes she drifted off in her dreams while listening. She heard some lyrics that were perfect for her and Jack and Sam gone. If no one interrupted her, she could dream away for several hours. Sometimes she pictured them doing the most romantic things. Because she had fallen head over heals for her CO a long time ago. And nothing could take her mind away from him. She had it bad, very bad. And the more time she spent with him, the stronger her love got.
A very familiar melody filled the room again and Sam was daydreaming. It was the most romantic song she heard in a long time and for some reason one sentence popped up in her head the whole time.
?
She wondered how her CO felt about her. She wished she could read his mind and look deeper into him. Somehow, they had become very close over the three years they worked together. She didn't know how close they were, but she could say they were good friends. They way they cared about each other proved it. But they question was if Jack cared about her more than a good friend.
Sometimes she thought about going to see him and ask him how he felt. But she never found the courage to do that. And when she did, she woke up sweating; cause it had all been a dream. A dream she wanted to come true. Even if that dream could turn into a nightmare. If Jack wouldn't feel the same as she did, her world would fall down. She was glad she didn't know. The result could never be negative. He couldn't hurt her by telling he didn't love her. But sometimes it was to know, even if he didn't care, than not to know at all. And Sam had been in this "I need to know"-mood all week long. But she would never be able to tell him in the face. She decided to write him a letter. It was not too personal and just personal enough.
Sam took a pen and papers and started writing. After a few lines she ripped the paper in two and threw it away. She didn't like what she had written and she tried again. Both her second, third and fourth attempt landed in the bin. She couldn't find the exact words to express how she felt. It had to be perfect. It needed to say everything she wanted to say. Although her feelings were overwhelming her, the words wouldn't come. She kept staring at an empty paper until that one phrase came to mind.
?
SJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJR
Dear Jack.
I am sure you are surprised to receive this letter from someone you work with. I don't want to excuse myself for this letter, nor for the fact that I can't say this to your face. I just think it is time for me to start with my life again and I can't do that as long as I can't this out of my mind. So here comes what you could call the biggest confession in the life of Samantha Carter.
First of all, I want our relationship to stay the way it has always been. Whatever happens and how hard it may be for either of us, I want to remain friends. I know that you're my CO and all that, but I think I can say we are friends. Either that or I know nothing about human beings.
Before you get sick and tired of my rambling, I'll cut to what's most important. Me and the way I see you. It may be hard for you to understand, (or not), but I've known for a very long time there is a you. And there is the way I see you. In my eyes, you are the most wonderful man in the world. I love the way you talk and the way that you smile with your eyes. This of course, is my heart speaking. But deep down I know you're not that perfect. And don't give me one of your looks, cause I know no one is perfect. Not even Jack O'Neill. But in my eyes, you are just perfect the way you are.
Please, don't be mad at me. I couldn't stand it if you never looked at me again. But I know you wouldn't do that. You're too honest for that. And I do hope you appreciate my honesty. Because I had two choices: Remain in the dark by not telling anything or be honest and take the chance to ruin everything I have worked for. I know I'm taking a big chance here, something that could ruin my career as well as my life.
Okay, here I go. I am in love with you, Jack. I have been for as long as I can remember. I just never realized how much until a few months ago. You were walking into the wormhole and it occurred to me how important you were. I couldn't stand living a day without you. I would give my life for you if that would save you. I know it probably sounds stupid and childish, but that's the way things are. I am being completely open and honest here and I hope you appreciate that.
It's hard to tell how you feel about me, but sometimes I get the impression you more about me than you should. I know you are my CO and that it's against the rules, but I couldn't live with myself if I never told you. I need to get this out, even knowing there's a chance I might get hurt. But I'll take my chances and confess to you. Or maybe you'll never get this letter. In fact, there's a big chance I'll never have the guts to send this, so why do I bother.
All I need to know is how you see me. Am I just Major Carter to you, you 2IC? Or am I much more than that? Maybe I'm imagining things and you never had the slightest feeling for me. Or maybe I'm seeing everything through pink glasses. I'll just hope for the best. Maybe some day I will know how you feel.
My feelings for you are very deep. I have loved before in my life, but I had never had feelings like I have now. I live with you in my heart for 30 hours a day. When I look at you, I see so much more than Colonel Jack O'Neill. I see a tender and caring person. My father once told me that I would recognize true love even if it bit me in the armpit. There's no need for that now. My true love has been right in front of me for the past three years. When I see you, I see an us. We could be so much more than good friends. I could climb the Himalaya with you. I'd go swimming in my nude in the middle of winter. I would lie on the warm, white sand, watching the stars. I would sit on some rocks and watch the sunset and I would always be by your side.
I know I'm making promised I can't keep. But one thing is certain: I wanna love you forever. Even if it means risking my career. Because I can't go on and deny this feeling. You started as being a friend to me, but over the years you became so much more. There's even a song about it. I wrote it a while ago and a friend of mine used it as the newest single of a star. Who happens to me my cousin by the way. You probably don't know the song, so I'll just write the lyrics down.
We've always been the best of friends
No secrets and no demands
But suddenly from somewhere out of the blue
I see a different light around you
One thing I haven't told you, I just want to hold you
And never let go, I need to know
How do I get there from here?
How do I make you see?
How do I tell you what my heart's been tellin' me?
Lost in your lovin' arms that's where I want to be
You know I love you
How do I get there?
You probably think I've lost my mind
Takin' this chance crossin' that line
But I promise to be truer than true
Dreaming every night with these arms around you
I can't wait any longer this feeling's gettin' stronger
Help me find a way
How do I get there from here?
How do I make you see?
How do I tell you what my heart's been telling me?
Lost in your lovin' arms that's where I wanna be
You know I love you
How do I get there?
I know the shortest distance
Between two points is a straight line
But I'll climb any mountain that you want me to climb
The perfect combination is your heart and mine
Darlin' won't you give me a sign
How do I get there from here?
How do I make you see?
How do I tell you what my heart's been tellin' me?
Lost in your lovin' arms that's where I wanna be
You know I love you
How do I get there from here?
I think this song says all I want to say. Can you believe I wrote it in ten minutes? It may come as a surprise to you, but I used to be a great music student. I can play the guitar, but my favorite instrument is probably the piano. Before you can ask, I studies music for eleven years.
But enough of that. I'll stop here and hope that you understand my motives. Or maybe you'll never get to read this.
All my love,
Sam
Sam sighed deeply and relaxed in her chair. She smiled to herself and put the letter in a large yellow envelope. She closed it and wrote Jack's name on the front. She laid it on her pile, took her stuff and walked out of her office. She had to go home and get a good night of sleep.
SJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJR
Sam had taken a warm shower and was relaxing in front of her TV. She was watching a tape of the x-files. It was the last episode of the series and she had seen it over twenty times. In her eyes, it was the most romantic episode in the history of television. Mulder and Scully shared their first kiss and they got married by the end of the episode. When it was over, tears of happiness streamed down her face. It was almost nine and Sam took the tape out of the VCR. She threw "up close and personal in. She went to the kitchen and took a bottle of diet coke. She was about to sit down, when she heard a very familiar melody coming from outside. It almost sounded like the song she had written. She went to her window and stared open-mouthed at the two persons standing under her window: Jack O'Neill was playing the guitar and some woman was singing. She didn't recognize her at first. She got down and when she came closer to them her mouth opened.
"But you are..."
"Very pleased to meet you. Hi Sam."
"Deanna... How? What?"
"Let me explain. Jack is a good friend of mine. I met him a couple of years ago. He called me this afternoon and asked me if I wanted to sing my song for someone. When he said it was for you, I told him you were the one who wrote the song. I could hear pride in his voice, Sam. So I guess this is your source of inspiration?"
"Not so loud, Dee, he will hear you."
"Sam, he already knows."
"I guess so. What do I do now?"
"How would I know? Talk to him."
"I can't. He's my CO for heaven's sake."
Meanwhile, Jack had walked up to Sam and was looking at her.
"You know Deanna Carter?"
"She's my cousin, Sir. I've known her forever."
"Go figure. Who would have known?"
"I could say the same, Sir."
"I guess."
Deanna put her hand in the air to get their attention.
"I'll leave you guys to it. I have a plane to catch."
"Thanks, Dee."
"I'm glad I could help, Jack."
She hugged them both, leaving a very confused couple behind. Neither spoke until her car had disappeared.
"Sam, I think you and I need to have a long talk."
"About?"
"Don't give me that! For starters, about a certain yellow envelope you lost at the SGC."
"On no!"
Sam looked at Jack, panic evident in her big, blue eyes. She stood frozen for a second, before she turned around and ran off. Jack followed closely behind, trapping her against a tree. She freed herself and got away. This time, Jack tackled her and they landed in the wet grass. Jack was lying on top of Sam, chocolate brown staring deeply into crystal blue. She was about to say something, but Jack silenced her by putting his finger on her lip. The scare of what she had said in her letter was written all over her face. She weakly smiled at her CO.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I was way out of line."
"Just stop, Sam. Do you really think I would have gone through all this trouble if I didn't care about you? Do you really think I would play guitar if I just saw you as my 2IC? And seriously, would Deanna have done this if my motives weren't good? You don't really believe that yourself, do you?!"
"No..."
He was staring deeply into her eyes, looking through her soul and looking straight into her heart. Tears were forming in his eyes and his voice was barely above a whisper.
"Sam, I feel the same. I share those feelings. I care about you despite everything that is against us."
"Jack..."
"Don't say a thing, Sam. Just listen to me. I love you. I have never loved anyone like I love you. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again. But you came into my life and all my walls crumbled. And nothing in the world will stop me from loving you. You Sam, you are the most precious thing in my life and I want to spend a lifetime with you."
Sam gave Jack the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He smiled back and claimed her lips with his. He gave her the softest and sweetest kiss he had ever given. They kissed for a few seconds before Jack pulled away and got up. He offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet. They both smiled and walked back to Sam's place. And it felt wonderful to hold each other's hand. They got inside and Jack followed Sam into the kitchen.
"Do you want something to drink, Jack?"
"A beer would be nice."
"One beer coming right up."
Sam turned around and opened the fridge. She was about to take a beer when she felt two strong arms encircling her waist. She smiled and leaned against Jack. He kissed her neck and turned her around in his arms. He laid his hands on her cheeks and tenderly claimed her lips with his. They kissed for several minutes and Sam pulled away.
"I think my neck's broken."
"Sorry."
Jack grinned at her and she smiled sheepishly. She grabbed a beer and managed to close the door before Jack was kissing her again. His kisses were becoming deeper and more passionate. Sam pulled away, took Jack's hand and led him to the living room. They curled up on the couch. Jack was lying with his back against some pillows, with Sam curled in his lap. Her head was resting on his shoulder and he had his arm around her waist. Jack spent a better part of the evening holding her and looking at her. He enjoyed the closeness-as did Sam- and he didn't care about regulations. For Sam, he would give up his job if he had to. As long as they could be together, everything would be fine.
The End.
Story Notes: Author's Note: This one popped up in my head while watching "The shopping channel" during my lunch break. LOLOLOLOL. It's based on Deanna Carter's "How do I get there"
WARNING: THIS IS FLUFF. IF THIS OFFENDS YOU , TURN AWAY NOW. :-)
WARNING: THIS IS FLUFF. IF THIS OFFENDS YOU , TURN AWAY NOW. :-)
End Notes: Feedback please? *drools all over her keyboard*
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]