"You could have trusted me," she murmured, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice as she stroked his hair, fingers gently caressing his nape. She felt his arms tighten around her as she smoothed her cheek against the top of his head where it rested against her breasts.
"Sam, I couldn't involve you." She felt him sigh. "We're already walking the line here, what I did I had to do on my own."
She shifted, raising herself up on one elbow, gazing intently at the man in her bed. His face was partly in shadow, the muted light from the bedside lamp illuminating the torment still present in his dark brown eyes.
Merrin had returned to Orban a little over twelve hours earlier and Sam knew that O'Neill had left the base almost immediately after that. Sam hadn't seen him again until he had shown up at her door hours later. She had already changed for bed when the doorbell rang. Tightening the belt on her robe she had peered through the peephole. When she saw her colonel, she opened the door. He hadn't offered a word of explanation; she simply took one look at his face and stepped aside, letting him in. As soon as he entered her living room she could see he was trembling, possibly from the chill night air, but then again possibly not. He just stood tensely in the middle of her living room.
"Colonel?" He had looked at her then, his eyes shadowed and full of pain. The pain was what tore at her; it was the same pain that was there as he watched Merrin walk through the gate.
"Sam..."
She hadn't known what to do until he said her name. The raw anguish in that single syllable motivated her next actions. Taking his hand she led him down the hall to her bedroom. As he stood docilely just inside the room she released his hand only to grab the sleeve of his jacket, pulling it off him. Her actions seemed to rouse him and brushing her hands away he unfastened his belt as she knelt and loosened the laces on his boots. She pulled his boots and then his socks off as he let his trousers fall, leaving clad only in his T-shirt and boxers.
Standing, she took off her robe, tossing it on the foot of the bed. Throwing back the covers she caught his hand again and led him to her bed. She lay back against the pillows pulling him down into her arms. She shuddered at the sweet pleasure of feeling his body so close against hers. He let out a heavy sigh and nestled into her arms, his body pressed close, his head resting on the soft swell of her breasts, one leg thrown across hers.
She maneuvered the covers over them and then began gently stroking his hair. Her fingers dancing lightly through the short graying strands. They lay quietly for a long time, Sam soothing him with her soft touches and caresses until she finally spoke.
"You could have trusted me."
And his answer was what she expected, but it still hurt.
Jack looked steadily into her fathomless blue eyes as she absorbed his words. What he had done he had done for Merrin, with little thought for himself and his career. He hadn't told Sam because he hadn't wanted to involve her in any actions that could affect her. So why was he lying, half-clothed, in his 2IC's bed? Because she had invited him and he couldn't refuse her.
"I know," she replied finally. Reaching up she gently brushed his hair back off his forehead.
Jack grabbed her hand and pulled her down into his embrace. She came willingly and wrapped her arms around him, turning her face into his neck.
"She asked me if I understood Sam," he said at last, his arms tightening around her. "But I don't. I'll never understand how her own people could use her and then just discard her." He shuddered, adding softly, "She should have the same chances as everyone else."
Sam was silent for a long time and as he heard her ragged breathing against his neck and felt her slight trembling in his arms he realized she was crying.
"Ah Sam," he murmured, stroking her back.
"I know it's not fair sir," she finally said, sniffling a little. "She should get to grow up, do all the things the non-Urrone children get to do." Her next words were spoken so softly he had to strain to hear her. "At least she'll have had the time she spent with you." She raised her head then to look at him; her eyes bright with unshed tears.
"Jack..." her voice trailed off as she lowered her head and kissed him, brushing his lips gently with hers. "I know that's all I want," she murmured, her lips moving against his, "to be with you." She pulled back slightly, her blue eyes gazing intently into his.
Jack shuddered abruptly at her words, his body reacting immediately. Searching her face he saw only love and acceptance there. Bringing his hand up to thread through her hair, he pulled her head back down to his. Kissing her fiercely he slid his other hand down her back, pulling her more firmly into his embrace. What they were about to do would complicate things to no end, but he didn't care. Right now he needed the comfort and closeness Sam offered. Nipping gently at her lower lip he whispered, "Then be with me."
THE END
Story Notes: Feedback: All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.
Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, November 2000
Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, November 2000
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]