from: Dr. D. Jackson djlurk@yahoo.com
to: the Sam and Jack list samandjack@egroups.com
Subject: Introductions
Hi Everyone,
I thought as everyone else was introducing themselves, I'd join in too....
My name is Daniel but online I usually go by the nickname of Dr.D. I've been around here a while but I usually lurk. I'd like to say how much I enjoy all the stories, particularly the ones that don't involve Daniel getting hurt (I'm kind of attached to my namesake ).
I'm a 34 year old American guy and live in Colorado. I'm an archaeologist and am currently employed by the government (don't ask..... ). My special interests include Egyptology and learning new languages - so far I'm up to 23!
I've been a Sam and Jack shipper for about three years now, ever since I saw them on Abydos on their first mission together. They can be tremendously pigheaded about their feelings but I think they are beginning to make progress - I was particularly positive about the way things were going around Christmas time but things went a little awry for them following the mission to Adora (I know just how everyone around here felt about that!). I think they are getting back on track now, at least, I hope they are!
Dr. D.
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Jack the brave held his head high and said,
"I would like the hand of the fair Samantha
in marriage."
from my Stargate Sg1 Fairy Tale
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"Daniel!! You *can't* post that!" Sam exclaimed from over his shoulder.
"Why not? No-one will think it's me."
"You say you're a 34 year old American archaeologist living in Colorado who just happens to work for the government!" Sam continued incredulously.
"The truth is stranger than fiction?" suggested Daniel. "Ness didn't believe me when I made up a cover story."
"You told her that SGC stood for Senate Ghostbusting Committee! I'm not surprised she didn't believe you." Sam let out a heartfelt sigh and carried on reading. She gasped. "And since when have you been a *shipper*?"
"Since I first saw you two together on Abydos." He peered at the computer screen. "Didn't I make myself clear in the mail?"
Sam narrowed her eyes and glared at him. She was composing a suitably cutting remark when they were interrupted by Jack walking in.
"Morning campers! Any more parts yet, Daniel?"
Sam looked at Daniel curiously. "Parts of what?"
The archaeologist smiled. "The colonel is totally hooked on.... " He counted on his fingers. "...the 'Andromeda' series by Alli, 'Surrender' by Ness and 'When Tomorrow Comes' by DustDevil."
"You're following three TBCs at the same time?" asked Sam incredulously.
"Yeah! I can do that!" he muttered indignantly, then added, "And I don't get them confused either! Well, Daniel, any more parts?"
"Sorry Jack, nothing today. And I was really hoping for the next instalment of 'Surrender'."
The colonel sighed. "For crying out loud! I can't take much more of this. Don't these women realise what they're doing to me?"
"And me," added Daniel sympathetically.
Sam tried to suppress a snigger. Both men swivelled to face her.
"You have a problem with our reading material, Major?" asked Jack.
"No, sir, it's not that. It's just that it's usually the list members who discuss what the two of you do to *them*....." Her voice trailed off as she turned a delicate shade of beetroot.
Jack and Daniel stared at her, open-mouthed. In an effort to change the subject, Sam said, "Perhaps you could read something else? Has anything complete been posted?"
Daniel scrolled down the list. "Yeah, DustDevil's posted one..."
"She should be working on 'When Tomorrow Comes'," mumbled Jack, grumpily.
"....called 'I Forgive You'. Shall we have a look at that?"
"Sounds angsty," said Sam.
The colonel and the major pulled up chairs and they all began to read. Silence reigned as they became engrossed in the story.
A few minutes later, Jack broke the silence. "So this is Sam's thoughts about me going back to Sara, right?"
"Could be," said Daniel. "But DustDevil has done a few 'tales with a twist'."
"So things might not be as they seem?" asked Sam.
"Yeah," agreed Daniel.
They continued reading.
Sam suddenly exclaimed, "Eeeewww!", turned pale and rushed out the door.
Jack turned to Daniel. "What's the matter with her?"
"Don't know. She reads faster than us, perhaps we'd better carry on?" He pointed at the computer screen.
"Guess so."
Daniel's eyes widened in horror. "I second that 'eeewww' and add an 'oh my God!'"
"Hang on, you're ahead of me.... What's this? 'When Sha're died'? What difference would that make to Sam's feelings for me?"
"Jack, it's not Sam talking." Daniel looked very uncomfortable. "It's me."
Jack's voice was almost a whisper. "You?"
"Uh-huh. Let's finish it. Remember it's the samandjack list, hopefully Sam will end up with you."
Jack turned back to the screen, then hesitated. "Er.... Daniel?"
"Yeah?"
"This story wasn't NC17, was it? I mean, no offence, buddy, but I really don't want to read about you and Sam doing the wild thing, if you follow my drift."
Daniel looked extremely doubtful. "Now you come to mention it, I don't either. I can't remember what rating it was. I guess we'd better check." He scrolled back to the top of the story. "No, it says it's a PG. And it doesn't mention anything about it being a S/D story."
"S/D?" asked the colonel. "No, let me guess, 'seriously deranged'."
"Sam/Daniel," corrected Daniel as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.
They had just begun reading again when Teal'c walked into the room. "I have just seen Major Carter. She seemed....." His brow creased into a slight frown as he tried to find the right word. "....distressed."
Daniel nodded slowly. "Yeah, Teal'c, she'd been reading this story. I'm not surprised she's upset. *I'm* upset, it's just so.... weird." He shuddered.
The jaffa raised an eyebrow and looked over their shoulders at the computer screen. "Ah," he said knowledgeably. "This is a story with an element of S/D, is it not? Is that why both Major Carter and yourself are upset?"
"Yes, and yes," said Jack wearily.
The jaffa frowned again, deep in thought. "But are you not all reading 'Surrender' by Vanessa Nichols?"
"We are, but Sam isn't. She never reads TBCs," said Daniel.
"That woman has amazing self-control," muttered Jack to no-one in particular, staring dreamily into space.
Teal'c ignored him and carried on, "In that story, Major Carter is married to you, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel sighed. "Yeah, but she's in love with Jack, who's in love with her but he's having a relationship with Janet, who used to be involved with Makepeace! I'm surprised you and General Hammond aren't dating anyone in that story, Teal'c!"
"I do not understand your reasoning, Daniel Jackson."
The archaeologist took a deep breath and tried again. "OK..... there are so many..." He paused and cleared his throat. "...*unusual* relationships mentioned in that story, that somehow me being with Sam didn't seem so bad. I mean, who would ever believe that Janet and Makepeace would stop yelling at each other long enough to get together? Even before he got arrested, they hated each other. And, anyway, so far at least, the relationships aren't the main point of the story. But this one... well, it came as kind of a shock... we were expecting it to be Sam talking about Sara."
"There have been others," suggested Teal'c.
"Other Sam/Daniel stories posted to the samandjack list?" asked Jack, not really believing what he was hearing.
The jaffa nodded solemnly. "Michelle Birkby did a whole series based on the idea that in one alternate reality Daniel Jackson and Major Carter were married."
Jack and Daniel stared at Teal'c in disbelief. "We must have missed those," said the colonel.
"Oh what a shame," mumbled Daniel sarcastically.
"And Wendy Parkinson wrote one where you and Major Carter had a sexual relationship," offered Teal'c, warming to his subject.
"I really didn't want to know that," said Daniel, turning pale.
"But they do all have happy endings," continued Teal'c.
"Happy for whom?" enquired Jack, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"By the end of these stories, Major Carter's relationship with Daniel Jackson has ended and she has begun a relationship with you, O'Neill."
"So I get dumped in *all* of them?" Daniel bristled with indignation.
"What do you expect, Daniel? It is the samandjack list!" Jack had a certain irritating smugness in his voice.
"I know, but couldn't Sam stay with me and you suffer terrible unrequited love and go into a decline or something? They seem to like watching you suffer."
"Go into a decline? What the hell have you been reading? Victorian bodice rippers?"
"NO!"
The two men glared at each other, fists clenched, eyes blazing. Teal'c decided to intervene. "I believe *you* dump Major Carter in both examples I have given, Daniel Jackson," he offered. It didn't really help much.
"I'd never do that, I'm a nice guy!" protested Daniel.
"You suffer immense psychological trauma as a result," added Teal'c, still trying to be helpful.
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Daniel snapped. "It's just another form of whumping, isn't it? Hurt me mentally, instead of physically...." He stood up and paced angrily around the room. "I thought these people were better than that...."
Jack stared at Daniel in disbelief. He glanced across at Teal'c who raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders. Jack took a deep breath and tried to calm his friend down. "Look Daniel, there are over 650 stories on the S/J archive and only a handful of them even suggest that you and Sam are more than friends. I really don't think you need to get steamed up about it."
"Steamed up? Steamed up? Who's steamed up?" Daniel's voice seemed to have risen about an octave. He turned on Jack. "How would you feel if you found a story, other than Surrender, that described a relationship between you and Janet?"
"Oh, don't be ridiculous, no-one would..."
Teal'c began to interrupt, "I believe Heliopolis..."
Jack cut him off before he really got started, "*Don't* go there, buddy!"
"See what I mean? I rest my case!" Daniel said triumphantly.
Jack's mouth dropped open but no sound came out.
Sam chose that moment to come back into the room. "Hi guys," she said faintly.
"Are you OK?" asked Jack.
She nodded. "Yeah, it was just a bit of a shock. I usually only read stuff from the S/J Archive and I don't have time to read everything that comes through there. It never occurred to me that there might be people who...." She glanced nervously across at Daniel but found she couldn't look him in the face. "....might pair me with someone else." She sat down carefully on a nearby chair. "I've just had a chat with Janet. It turns out that not only are there are stories out there about me and Daniel, but stories about me and Martouf and there's even one where I'm involved with Robert Makepeace." She shuddered. "She seemed to think there was one story where I married Graham Simmons."
"Ugh," muttered Jack.
"Apparently, he cheated on me and we got divorced."
"Be thankful for small mercies," said the colonel sympathetically.
Daniel winced. He'd seen S/J stories where he'd ended up with Janet but nothing graphic. He was grateful for that. Him and Janet was a weird idea, not as weird as him and Sam, but somehow it just didn't *feel* right. His musings were interrupted by the computer's screen saver switching on. The dancing Egyptians seemed to be mocking him. Frowning, he nudged the mouse and turned back to his friends. "So, is someone going to read the rest of this story?"
Everyone looked at everyone else. Sam fished in her pocket. "Draw straws?" she suggested.
"Are they the same ones...?" began Jack.
"Oh, yeah!" said Sam, smiling sweetly at him. She held them out. Daniel drew first. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realised he hadn't lost.
Then Jack reached over. He also drew a long straw. "Your turn, buddy," he said to Teal'c. The jaffa solemnly took one of the two remaining straws. It was short. Sam let out a long breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. Teal'c sat down at the computer and began to read.
Daniel beckoned Sam and Jack over to the doorway. "I think we need a plan," he said.
"A plan?" The colonel was baffled.
"Yeah, we need to stop these.... *other pairings*."
"And how do propose to do that? Flame everyone who writes one?" asked Sam.
"No, we can't do that! It's not polite."
"And writing stories where Sam's involved with Graham Simmons is?" muttered Jack.
"What I was thinking was.... how about if you two get a little shippier on our next mission?"
"Shippier?" Sam and Jack said together.
"Yeah, do something that will convince *everyone* that you're made for each other."
Sam and Jack looked at each other doubtfully. "Such as?" asked the major.
"Oh, I don't know.... perhaps you could kiss?"
Jack considered this for a moment then shook his head. "No, Danny, I think that contravenes regs."
"Him and the damned regs..." muttered Sam under her breath.
They lapsed into silence for a moment, then Daniel said, "I know! You could ask Sam to go on vacation with you!"
Sam and Jack exchanged glances. Sam nodded approvingly. "Yes, I think that could work, sir. What do you think?"
"Yeah, we'll have to think about where we want to go. How about fishing in Minnesota, major?"
"Sounds good, sir!"
Teal'c cleared his throat ostentatiously. "I have finished DustDevil's story."
"And?" asked Daniel.
"Major Carter begins a relationship with O'Neill and, yet again, you suffer immense psychological trauma."
"Oh joy!"
"But there is a positive side to it, Daniel Jackson."
"There is?"
The jaffa smiled encouragingly. "This time *she* dumps *you*."
The End.
Story Notes: Danny Lurks 11: Spoilers: Minor mentions of Shades of Grey and Nemesis; Major spoilers for DustDevil's story 'I Forgive You'; Also spoilers for the first few chapters of 'Surrender' by Vanessa Nichols which can be found at http://www.geocities.com/nessi_anne/surrender/surrender.html
Season/Sequel info: Set season three, after Shades of Grey and just before Nemesis. Eleventh in the Danny Lurks series, sequel to 'Smile Please!'
Author's notes: Quite a few stories get a mention in this one! Just because I haven't mentioned one of yours doesn't mean I haven't read it and enjoyed it - it just means it didn't fit the plot!
So... credit where credit's due - DustDevil's story 'I Forgive You' which fitted my plot perfectly! Thanks, Jules. The TBCs currently being posted to the samandjack list - DustDevil's story 'When Tomorrow Comes' is currently up to part 29 and Alli Snow's 'Andromeda' series is on instalment 24. Ness has got to part 23 with 'Surrender'. You're doing a great job, ladies, keep it up!
The other stories mentioned or referred to (in chronological order) are - the 'Daniel's Wife' stories by Michelle Birkby ('Daniel's Wife', 'Why Did You Kiss Him?', 'Jack' and 'Going Home') 'Consequences' by Wendy Parkinson. 'Revenge' by Bruni; 'All Good Things' by Vanessa Nichols All stories can be found on Heliopolis and the S/J Archive (or should be soon!)
Believe it or not, it's almost a year since the first Danny Lurks (Fan Fiction) appeared - I'd like to thank everyone on the samandjack list for their continued encouragement, enthusiasm and suggestions. I couldn't do it without you. Keep projecting, folks!
Season/Sequel info: Set season three, after Shades of Grey and just before Nemesis. Eleventh in the Danny Lurks series, sequel to 'Smile Please!'
Author's notes: Quite a few stories get a mention in this one! Just because I haven't mentioned one of yours doesn't mean I haven't read it and enjoyed it - it just means it didn't fit the plot!
So... credit where credit's due - DustDevil's story 'I Forgive You' which fitted my plot perfectly! Thanks, Jules. The TBCs currently being posted to the samandjack list - DustDevil's story 'When Tomorrow Comes' is currently up to part 29 and Alli Snow's 'Andromeda' series is on instalment 24. Ness has got to part 23 with 'Surrender'. You're doing a great job, ladies, keep it up!
The other stories mentioned or referred to (in chronological order) are - the 'Daniel's Wife' stories by Michelle Birkby ('Daniel's Wife', 'Why Did You Kiss Him?', 'Jack' and 'Going Home') 'Consequences' by Wendy Parkinson. 'Revenge' by Bruni; 'All Good Things' by Vanessa Nichols All stories can be found on Heliopolis and the S/J Archive (or should be soon!)
Believe it or not, it's almost a year since the first Danny Lurks (Fan Fiction) appeared - I'd like to thank everyone on the samandjack list for their continued encouragement, enthusiasm and suggestions. I couldn't do it without you. Keep projecting, folks!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]