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Story Notes: SPOILERS:100 days

SEASON/SEQUEL:Sequel to NO GOODBYES

AUTHORS NOTE:Those of you who have seen 100 days will know how this episode affected dedicated shippers, like myself, those of you who haven't yet seen it, a word of advice, get plenty of tissues for the tears, plenty of chocolate to help Sam through this, and plenty of wine to drown your sorrows! Hope you enjoy this.


Darkness fell over the figure tossing in the bed. Moonlight cast its eerie glow to highlight the pain etched on the woman's face.

Sam.

She sat up and stared at the clock. 2am. A huge sigh escaped her lips as she got up from the bed and pulled on her robe. Sam rubbed her tired eyes, trying to rub away the pain of the last two days. Moving to the window she gazed out to darkness.The air was still, no gentle breeze, just darkness. She looked over at the lonely bed which usually had another occupant.

Thinking of him she felt tears spring to her eyes. She angrily brushed them away, cursing herself for caring too much.

She had promised Jack that she wouldn't cry, that she would go on as normal until he returned. A promise that she had broken so many times since he'd left. She remembered the time he first admitted to her that he loved her. It was a few days after he had gone to her house to beg forgiveness.

She smiled at the memory, she had fallen asleep through 'The Wizard of Oz', only to awaken in the early hours to find his arms wrapped around her.

They had spent every night together since.They had confessed their feelings for each other over dinner in a crowded restaurant, she remembered how his face lit up when she told him, and the wonderful night of passion they had shared after they came home. That was four months ago, and she loved him more than ever even though he was breaking her heart.

A tear traced it's way down her cheek. She made no attempt to remove it.

She hoped he was all right where ever he was, hoped he remembered his promise to return.

Two nights ago he had shattered her trust in him. Two nights ago he had confessed a secret that she wished she could forget. Two nights ago he left her.



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They had been out with Daniel and Teal'c. They'd had a wonderful evening with their friends, dancing and laughing. Jack draped his arm over her shoulders, kissing her ear and whispering things he was hoping to do when they got home.

A slow song began playing on the jukebox. Before Jack could even speak, Daniel was on his feet pulling Sam's hand. "Come on Jack, Sam promised me a dance before you guys leave."

"I did," she smiled. Then turning to Jack, kissed him soundly. "Be back soon."

He smiled at them as they joined hands and began dancing. Sam was giggling at something Daniel had said. He couldn't help but smile.

He saw Teal'c looking at him. "You OK Teal'c?"

The Jaffa smiled. "It is good to see you and Major Carter together."

"Yea she's pretty amazing," he agreed, looking over at her smiling face. As if feeling his eyes on her she turned to look at him, rewarding him with a huge smile.

"You have not spoken to her of your intention to return to Edora?"

"Not yet," Jack said sadly, looking towards Teal'c. "I'll tell her tonight."

"She will be greatly upset by your actions." The Jaffa looked over at Sam.

"It'll break her heart, but I have to be sure," Jack sighed.

"I would like to accompany you on your journey Colonel O'Neill."

Jack just nodded as the others returned.

Sam sat next to him smiling at him, slightly out of breath. "Did you miss me?" she grinned.

"Always," was all he said.

Later on in the evening they returned home. The night only just beginning as they left a trail of clothes all along the floor. Jack carried her to the bedroom kissing her along the way.

Sam stretched against him in the bed. Her body was still tingling from his tender lovemaking. Smiling, she kissed his shoulder. Her eyes drinking in the sight of him laying beside her. Together they fell asleep sated and happy.

She couldn't remember when he actually woke her, she just remembered coming awake to his gentle touch. "Sam, honey, you awake?"

She felt him move from beside her to sit on the edge of the bed. Instantly awake, she moved to touch his arm. "Jack?"

He didn't look at her. "Sam you know I love you don't you?"

Propping her head up on her hands, she smiled and stroked his back. "Of course I do."

"I'm sorry Sam, I have to tell you something."

By this time she sat up, fear gripping her heart. Suddenly afraid of what he might say next. "Remember when I came back after I was stranded on Edora, and I told you about Lara?"

Sam closed her eyes tightly, she had wished that that woman's name would never again be mentioned. She just nodded silently.

"Sam," he continued, taking a deep breath before he continued, "she may be pregnant." He heard Sam gasp. "It's mine."

Sam sat in stunned silence, not knowing what to say or do. She felt him reach for her, but backed away from his touch. A sheen of tears filled her eyes as she couldn't shift the mental image of him and... her... that... woman.

"Sam," he said softly, "talk to me please."

"Why did you tell me?" she said, anger in her voice, "Why did you wait until now?"

He reached out to touch her, but she batted his hand away. Angry tears streamed down her face, "Why did you wait until I was so much in love with you, more now than I was when you came back?"

"Sam," he was pleading, "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid I would lose you."

Sam looked at him, shock on her face. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Reaching for her robe, she scrambled out of bed. Pulling on her robe, tying it tightly.

She walked over to the window and turned on him. "You sleep with another woman and you're afraid of losing*me*?" She began pacing. "Why did you start this? Why did you let me believe that we could live our lives out together." Jack opened his mouth to speak but she wasn't finished. "You claim to love me Jack, but you had sex with another woman."

"I'm sorry," he repeated pleadingly.

"Do you love her?"

"NO".

"Are you sure?"

"Sam." He stood up. "I don't love her."

"But you will if she's having your child." She looked him in the eyes. "Won't you?"

"NO!" He planted his hands on her shoulders to stop her from moving. "I love you and only you, nothing will ever change that."

She felt her anger fading slightly when she saw his face, he was trying so hard to make her understand.

"Why tell me now?" she whispered. "Why tell me at all?"

He wrapped his arms around her. "I have to go back, I have to be sure."

He felt her push him away, to look up at him, her face full of pain. "If she is, are we over?"

"No," he almost shouted. "I just have to know. I promise you I will be back." He moved forward to her again, to touch her face. This time she didn't back away.

"I never thought you could ever hurt me more than you hurt me last time," she whispered.

"I am so sorry I didn't tell you from the start. I never wanted to hide it from you. I never wanted to lie to you." He felt her move away from him to sit on the bed, her face masked with pain.

"When do you leave?"

He came to sit next to her, she avoided his gaze. Reaching over he took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips. Placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand, he sighed. "Tomorrow morning."

"How long?" she whispered.

"One or two days." He looked down at her, reaching over to lift her chin to look at her. "Sam?"

"Seems like you've had it all worked out for a while," she whispered, as one lone tear rolled slowly down her face.

"I just have to be sure, I promise you I will be back."

Sam sat for a while not moving, not speaking. Her whole world had just crumbled around her yet again. She turned to Jack who had too been silent.

"Will you tell her about me? About us?"

She brought her eyes up to look at him. She saw him move close to her to draw her near, placing his forehead against hers.

"She already knows about you. She already knows that I'll always be in love with you. She knew back then that you were the only woman I would ever love."

"So you slept with her anyway?" she said softly.

He closed his eyes at her words, feeling shame and regret at his actions. When he looked at her he saw the uncontrollable tears falling down her face, her body shaking with her quiet little sobs.

"I love you Sam," he whispered into her hair.

She pulled away from him and wiped the tears away. "You know the worst thing?"

"What?" he asked lovingly, as he moved a stray strand of hair from her eyes.

"I have to pretend that we're not together, I have to go to the SGC and watch you walk through the stargate and pretend I don't care." A sob escaped her as new tears appeared. "I have to watch you leave me."

He pulled her to him wrapping his arms around her body. His own emotions were soaring out of control as his own eyes filled with tears. "No Sam, I'm not leaving you, ever."

She buried her face into his chest, as they both let out their pain.

"I just wish," she sighed.

"I know." He kissed her head.

Slowly she lifted her head up to look into his eyes. She saw that they mirrored her own. "What will you do if she's pregnant?"

"I'll offer to support the child, I have an obligation to her. I at least owe her that much." He stroked her hair softly.

"I wish we didn't have to hide our feelings all the time," she sniffed.

"Me too, but I promise you as soon as I get back, you and me are going away on vacation, just the two of us." He smiled. "And to hell with regulations, this is about us being together. Besides, when we have our own kids, it won't really matter what anyone else thinks."

Sam looked up at him stunned. "Our kids?"

"Look Sam, no-one on Earth or any other planet could ever come between us, you hear me?"

For the first time since he'd told her of his intentions to go back to Edora, she smiled. Even though it was strained and sad.

"I don't want to be there tomorrow," she whispered.

"I understand why you don't want to,but I-." He stopped and looked at her. "Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"Then trust me now. Trust the fact that it's you I love. It's you I want to be with."

His hand held hers gently. Stroking her soft skin. They didn't speak, they just held each other. Finally, hours after this had all began, they fell asleep.

The next morning when he left through the stargate, she stayed out of the way, not trusting herself to stay. Daniel had tried his best to distract her, but had failed miserably. He settled for squeezing her shoulder reassuringly.

That was two days ago.



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Looking over at the clock again for the hundredth time, she saw that only seconds not minutes had ticked by.

She was alone. She missed him more than she ever thought possible, but as the hours turned to days, she had begun to tell herself that he wasn't coming back to her, that she wasn't the one he really loved. It helped. Hating him, and finding faults in him was far less painful that missing him.

If only she could convince herself of that, if only she could hate him.

"Well damn you Jack," she muttered to herself. "I will not cry over you any more."

Walking back over to her bed, she untied her robe and was about to climb into bed when a sharp knock sounded on her door.

Looking at the clock again,she walked slowly down the stairs to the front door. Looking through the peep hole, her heart racing suddenly. Slowly she opened the door to let him inside, not really knowing what to say to him. Without a word, he stepped forward and crushed his mouth to hers in a bruising kiss. Her arms moved to his neck pulling him closer to her, wanting every possible contact between their bodies.

He deepened the kiss, kissing her with all the longing they both felt. Her hands clawed his back, trying desperately to pull him closer. Without leaving her mouth, he kicked the door shut and lifted her so she wrapped her legs around his waist. Breaking only for breath he spoke. "I missed you so much."

"I know," she breathed as his mouth was on hers again. Their kiss this time had lost it's urgency. It was softer and full of promise.

Her fingers weaved themselves through his hair, as she thoroughly kissed him. He backed her up against the wall, before pulling reluctantly away from her lips. He opened his mouth to speak, but Sam stopped him, looking directly into his eyes. "Do you love me?"

"Always," he breathed.

She smiled at him, a smile that he had desperately missed. "I found my answer."

She looked into his eyes, searching their depths. Hearing him say, "There's no child."

She put her hand to his mouth silencing him. "Shh," she whispered, "tell me tomorrow."

"I love you Sam. Being away from you was killing me. I don't ever want to be away from you again."

Unwrapping her body from his, she stood before him, trailing her fingertips down his body. He closed his eyes savouring her touch.

"Take me to bed," she whispered into his ear.

Smiling at her, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs. Kissing her along the way. There was plenty of time to talk, tomorrow was another day.

But tonight they were lost in each other.



END




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