samandjack.net

Story Notes: Email: scorkill@earthlink.net

Category: Epilog/Missing Scene; SJ friendship

Content warning: None

Season/Sequel Info: Second season

Spoilers: Show and Tell, Tok'ra I & II

Archive: SJA, Heliopolis

Feedback: All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.

Author's notes: This story is dedicated to Sammie, from the Sam & Jack list, who wanted "Show and Tell" to be "shippier". Your comments inspired this fic. Special thanks to Wendy for her help and encouragement.

Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, May 2000


Sam watched as her father and Charlie walked up the ramp towards the Stargate. She glanced over towards Colonel O'Neill, she knew her father would take care of Charlie, she just hoped the Colonel realized it too. As she looked back towards the Stargate, they were stepping through the event horizon; the small ripples the only indication of their passage. General Hammond left as soon as the gate disengaged, stopping briefly to say something to the Colonel that she couldn't hear. As she turned to leave, she saw that the Colonel was still standing there, staring at the now quiet gate. The look on his face was hard to describe, closed was the best word she could think of. She walked over to him and laid her hand on his uninjured arm. "He'll be alright sir, Dad and the Tok'ra will be able to help him."

He didn't look at her, just kept staring at the gate; it was a few moments before he answered. "I know Carter, I just wish…." With that comment he turned to walk away, leaving Sam standing there. She stood staring after him, wishing that he had finished his sentence. She shook her head to clear her thoughts as she realized the gateroom was empty. There was still work to be done, they had only finished installing one of the palm scanners before the Ree'tu had attacked. She turned and left the gateroom, heading towards the lab.



The next day



SG-1 was on stand-down until Colonel O'Neill's shoulder was healed, giving Sam plenty of time to finish installing the palm scanners and sorting out the finer details of the changes to the security programs involved in the working of the gate. She was engrossed in the equations on her computer screen when Teal'c entered the lab.

"Captain Carter, we have finished with the last of the palm scanners and the other security changes requested by General Hammond. Lieutenant Simmons and Sergeant Siler are waiting for us in the control room to begin the testing."

"Thanks Teal'c, I'll be right there, just let me exit this program." As Teal'c turned to leave, Sam stopped him suddenly with a wave of her hand, beckoning him back into the lab. She pointed her mouse to the last icon, shutting down the program, and then turned to Teal'c.

"Teal'c, may I ask you a personal question?"

He responded with a nod of his head.

"How do you deal with your son living off-world? I mean, I know it's your choice for him, that it's what's best for him, but how do you handle the feelings?"

"I am not sure I understand what you are asking Captain Carter. My `feelings' can have no part in ensuring for the safety of my son."

"Okay, I understand that. I guess what I'm asking is how do you cope with…." She paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "I don't know, the sense of loss, the distance. He's not here; he's off on some other planet. It's not like you can just get in the car and go see him."

Teal'c could sense by the underlying tone of frustration in her voice that she was seeking for more than just the answers to his feelings. When he didn't answer right away, she continued.

"My Dad's only been living off-world for a few months, but for some reason it seems like years." She stood, and began pacing the room as she continued talking. "It's not like I saw him that often when he was living here, but at least I knew if I wanted to contact him all I had to was call him on the phone, not send a signal out into space!" She turned and looked at him, "Did you hear what Colonel O'Neill told Charlie? That they could visit each other. I know he was trying to make Charlie feel better, probably trying to make himself feel better too, but how realistic is that? The Tok'ra are rebels, they change their base of operations regularly. How can you maintain any kind of relationship in that type of situation?"

Teal'c studied the Captain intently, then he asked, "Who are you upset with, Colonel O'Neill or your father?"

She seemed taken aback by his question, "I'm not upset with anyone," she replied. And then added, "At least, I don't think I am."

"Captain Carter, would you have your father dead? With no hope of having any kind of relationship with him?" When she would have responded, he held up his hand. "Would you have the same for this Ree'tu boy, this child created solely to be a messenger? Does he not deserve a chance at life? Even a life that we cannot fully understand?"

She sat back down at her desk, head down, staring at her hands as they lay resting in her lap. After a moment she looked up at him "No, I wouldn't go back and change anything that has happened for my father, or will happen for Charlie. I just wish… I just wish it could be different." She looked at him with a plea for understanding in her eyes.

And he did understand. He also wished it could be different for his son and his wife. He wished they could live as a family, that he could participate in their lives as husband and father, and not just as an occasional visitor who bore those titles. "I am not sure I can answer your question. I too have wished that certain parts of my life were different. But the choices I have made are the choices I must live with. To try and do otherwise would be to regret the decision, and I will not live with regrets." She nodded her head in understanding, so he continued. "Your father and my family are not any less a part of us even though separated from us by distance or circumstance. By our actions in protecting them, serving this planet and fighting the Goa'uld we honor them and ourselves."

He came and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I believe that Colonel O'Neill would say this is a cliché, but I have found it to be true--the past cannot be changed, the future has not happened, so we must focus our lives and our energy on the present."

Sam briefly touched his hand where it rested on her shoulder and grinned up at him. "You're right on both counts Teal'c, the Colonel would say it's a cliché and that it's true."

She stood up then. "Teal'c, thanks for helping."

He nodded his head; "You are most welcome."

They exited the lab together, making their way to the control room to begin the testing of the new security measures.

Several hours later Sam looked up from the control room computer and stretched. As she glanced around the room she saw Teal'c was the only one left. "What time is it?"

"It is past 1900 hours, the day shift went off duty some time ago."

Sam stood and walked over to Teal'c, "You should have said something Teal'c. There was no need for you to stay this long too."

"I remained to provide any assistance you might have required. However, if you are finished I will depart."

"Yeah, I think I'm done here for tonight. I'm just going to go see if the General is still around to give him an update." As she turned to walk up the stairs that led to the General's office and the briefing room, she paused at the bottom step and said to Teal'c, "Thanks again for all your help."

He smiled and nodded briefly before leaving the control room.

Sam sighed as she headed up the stairs; she really needed to quit working these long hours. Simmons and Siler had enough sense to stop at quitting time, but not her. As she reached the top of the stairs, it was dark, but she could see that the General's office door was closed and no light was shining through his window. She smiled, guess the General has enough sense to stop at quitting time too. As she turned to head back down the stairs, she realized someone was standing at the far end of the room looking out the window towards the Stargate. Unsure of who would be here at this hour, she cautiously approached the person. As she got closer she saw that it was the Colonel. She knew he could hear her footsteps, but he never turned from gazing out the window.

She came and stood by his uninjured side, and looked down at the Stargate. No teams were expected back tonight, so there was a minimal guard present and the lights were low. In the quiet and dim light, the Stargate looked almost innocuous. Seeing it now, she never would have guessed that only a little over 48 hours ago it had been in the middle of a terrorist zone.

They stood there in the dark, side by side, not saying anything. The only sound, that of their even breathing. After a few minutes, the Colonel gave a heavy sigh and said "I know he's okay Sam, I know Jacob won't let anything bad happen to him. It's just that… he's just a boy, he shouldn't have to grow up so fast. He should get to be a boy."

"I know Colonel, we just wish that things could be different."

He turned his head slightly to look at her; she had a wistful look on her face. He wondered what she was wishing could be different. "Yeah," he replied, "that things could be different." With a low chuckle he added, "But as my mother was so fond of saying, `If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.'"

Sam turned and smiled at him, "Your mother too?"

"Yeah," he said with a soft smile, "one of the many profound sayings she used when trying to make a point."

"What would that point be, Colonel?" Sam asked.

He turned then to look at her. Her hair was mussed, and he could tell by the look around her eyes that she had been working hard all day, and he surmised by her presence here, well into the evening. She returned his gaze evenly, and he wondered how she could keep so together with everything that had happened. The Ree'tu invasion, her father being injured, her almost being killed and then killing one of the rebel Ree'tu. But then, that's what she did, she kept it together; she kept their team together, and if he was honest, she kept him together.

He reached out and tucked a piece of her hair that had strayed back behind her ear, gently caressing her neck as he let his hand drop back to his side. "I guess the point she would be trying to make is that things aren't always going to go the way we want. And that once a choice has been made, we have to live with it and make the best of it." He gestured towards the Stargate. "Like you did with your Dad and his cancer, like we just did with Charlie."

"Yeah, that's kind of the conclusion I came to also." Then she added with a quick grin at him, "With a little help from Teal'c."

The Colonel stepped back with a look of mock surprise on his face. "Help from Teal'c?"

Sam swatted his good arm, "Yes, Teal'c. He was quite helpful."

"Oh I know," the Colonel drawled, "he has depths we haven't even begun to explore yet."

Sam smiled at him again. He smiled back, thinking how beautiful she looked when she smiled, especially when she was smiling at him. He reached out and grabbed her hand, "What do you say we go find something to eat? We haven't been off the base in oh, at least three or four days."

"Sounds like a plan sir." She adjusted her hand, twining her fingers with his as they walked out of the room, arguing amiably with him about where they should go.



THE END




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