Jack O'Neill hated writing reports, and this was one report he wasn't happy about writing at all. He looked at his filing cabinet and the hockey stick he had left on top, then at his shelves and the few books that were on them. His eyes slipped over Charlie's photograph on the corner of his desk, and he was slightly disgusted with himself for thinking that Charlie would help forget about this. Charlie deserved to be remembered when the sun was hot and the grass sharp, and the world beautiful. When Jack could feel him there in his bones.
He was embarrassed as hell. And he didn't even manage to convince himself that it could all be blamed on the fact that he hadn't been with a woman in a while. He dropped his head on his arms, crossed over a pile of paper. There was a time when that would have been the embarrassing thing for him. You're an old man, he told himself, and those nana-bugs had nothing to do with your ageing. He had liked her a lot. She was a kind and generous woman and, for someone expecting a 'hundred days of bliss' spent alongside the cast of Melrose Place, she hadn't been put off by his condition at all. She was beautiful. If he couldn't quite find the reasons why the whole thing had started, he could clearly remember the curve of her hips, and of her fingers on his shoulder.
"Jesus, O'Neill," he said. "You need to get out more." A knock on his door startled him. The mountain had come to him. "Come in."
"Colonel? You asked to see me?"
"I did. Sit down, Carter." He watched her sit down in the chair in front of him, her back straight, her hands folded on her lap, at attention. Big blue eyes, a tentative smile that didn't know itself, and one hundred per cent there with him, ready for anything, and overwhelmingly bright and alive. That's what the people of Argos were like, too, and maybe that explained something. Why he liked having Sam around so much.
"Sir?"
He realised he had been staring. He sat up. "Sorry, Carter. Would you like something to drink? Coffee?"
"Coffee would be fine, sir."
He took another look around his office. "I don't have any of that here - do you mind if we go to the cafeteria?"
"There's a coffee machine around the corner -"
"Nah, that's the practical option, Captain. Besides, those coffees are awful. Goa'ould bathing tanks." He gave a mock shudder. She smiled again, a little wider. He asked her about the experiments she was conducting on their way there, and was happy to understand a few things she said. They settled themselves in a corner.
"Sir? What is it?"
He took a deep breath. He didn't have a problem saying things usually, but Carter was a woman. There were many conversations he'd never had with a woman and only with other soldiers. "First, I wanted to thank you. For all you did for me when I was ill."
"You did all the important work, sir -"
"Second, I wanted to apologise to you as my second-in-command." He sipped at his coffee. "My behaviour on Argos left something to be desired. It wasn't becoming of an officer, and your commanding officer in particular."
"I'm not sure I understand."
Jack wondered if she was doing this on purpose, if she knew how hard it was for him to have this conversation. "The cake was spiked, I know it. But I was willing enough... to eat it in the first place."
She straightened in her seat, and he saw it as an omen. Carter formal was a wall. "So you were attracted to her. That's not unusual."
"That's not relevant. I should never have left the team to go and - you know."
"Have sex." He nearly spilled half of his coffee on the table. "You can talk to me about these things, you know, Colonel. I won't take it the wrong way."
"I'm sure you won't, Captain." Look at her, he told himself. He forced his head up. "The point is, I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry. You're an excellent officer, one of the best I've ever had, and as a member of SG-1 you deserve only the best from me." He sighed. "Hell, I should have known better anyway. Whether I'm on Argos or in a bar, it doesn't make a difference."
They said nothing for a while, until Carter spoke up. "If it makes any difference, sir, I think I understand why you did it."
"Yeah? Please tell me, because I can't figure it out."
"I'm a sexual being, too. I know sometimes a person gets - lonely." He stared at her. She stared back, innocence to the tip of her hair. She was telling him things he didn't want to know. Whenever he had talked about sex with a woman, it had a clear practical purpose and some definite circumstances. She looked away with a slight blush. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to embarrass you."
"My fault."
"Sir?"
"For being old-fashioned. Maybe something I brought back from Argos, uh?" He was glad to see her smile return. "I want you to know - as my 2IC and my friend, you're entitled to talk to me about anything that might trouble you. Anything at all. I won't be any help whatsoever -" He waved a hand in the air "- but you're welcome anytime."
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that."
"We're good together, Carter. I want to keep it that way."
"Let's not kid ourselves, Colonel. We're the *best.*"
He laughed. "Amen." They raised their cups and clinked them together.
"I'll race you." At his frown, she said, "With the coffee." He looked into his cup. "What's the matter? Black stuff's too much for you?"
"Are you kidding? My *blood* is made of coffee."
"I thought that was Daniel."
"Let me show you why you're the captain and why I'm the colonel." They put their empty hand flat on the table. He tried to give her his hardest glare but wasn't surprised that it didn't seem to work. "Ready?"
"After you."
"Go!"
It didn't take long. And he was both dismayed and pleased that just as he felt the last of the cup fall down his throat, the loud clank of a cup slammed on the table nearly made him choke. When the first thing she did was ask if he was all right rather than gloat, he wanted to ask Daniel if that was a Carter thing.
"Oh yeah. My face always does that when I drink coffee."
"You must be quite a sight in the morning."
"I'd like to think I'm quite a sight *any time*."
"Many would agree," she replied.
He grinned. The words left his mouth before he had the time to think. Later he would ask himself what that was all about. But he loved games, all kinds of games, and she was happy to play with him. "What do you think?"
"Permission to speak freely?"
Perfect, he thought. Couldn't have done it better myself. She's good, he thought next before amending himself. The best. "No," he said. "I might have to court-martial you afterwards. And don't think this is gonna save you from that arm-wrestle you promised me."
"Any time's good for me, sir."
"I might take you up on that." He rose and she followed him. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - but one day. When you expect it the least."
"I guess this wasn't very fair to you," she said, stepping through the door he was holding for her. "I mean, I spend so much time working in the lab understanding the mysteries of the universe and finding ways of saving the world - I've got to have the advantage when it comes to drinking coffee fast."
"Damn you scientists."
What he didn't tell her was she deserved to win. As far as he was concerned, she deserved everything good in the world.
THE END.
Precedents by DHD
Story Notes: (dial_home_device@yahoo.co.uk)
ARCHIVE: I'd be glad if it was at Sam and Jack.
GENRE: Sam and Jack friendship. Missing scene?
SPOILERS: Brief Candle
SUPPLICATION: Feedback always appreciated and politely phrased. :)
ARCHIVE: I'd be glad if it was at Sam and Jack.
GENRE: Sam and Jack friendship. Missing scene?
SPOILERS: Brief Candle
SUPPLICATION: Feedback always appreciated and politely phrased. :)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]