The casket had a crisp flag draped over the top, the wreath in front of it stood out amidst the sea of blue in the background. The deep red roses contrasted with the white ones and the green leaves that completed the circular object. He stood at attention in the front of the chairs, his cover, still on his head, was his protection against the world.
He knew she wasn’t in there, after all who could really gather her body when there was nothing left. He was burying an empty casket, something he wanted to understand, but at that moment he was numb. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, she wasn’t supposed to go before him. He wished to God that he had the Puddle Jumper with the time machine, he needed a solar flare to throw him back in time, anything to change her fate. But the Puddle Jumper was no more, and since he was a two star there is no need to endanger himself, he had others to go off world for him.
The light rain that came down didn’t bother him or the rest of the funeral gatherers; after all she did a hell of a lot for this planet. If they were going to bitch about the rain then they didn’t deserve to be here. The rain was fitting with his mood. It hid the single tear track from earlier, he knew Danny and Teal’c saw, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He watched as the flag rose from the coffin to be folded into the perfect triangle. The precision was effortless for these Marines, and he realized looking at their faces that it was the members of SG-3. As the flag got to the last fold he looked up at the face that was to present it to his superior, he realized it was Colonel Reynolds, the guy who he could always count on to be there and back him up. The flag was passed to General Hammond, although he was retired, he was given the honor of giving the flag to her family. Jack watched as Reynolds did a crisp salute and an about face to return to his position at the casket.
Hammond came to stand in front of Jack with the flag in his hands, he faced Jack crisply and Jack stood even more at attention, if it was even possible. The flag passed from Hammond to Jack and once released into Jack’s shaking hands General Hammond saluted him. Jack couldn’t salute back, his hands trembled, and he felt this feeling long ago, when he and Sarah buried Charlie. Hammond then did an about face and returned to his post at the head of the casket once again.
The 21 gun salute was next, Jack was numb, and the firing of the rounds seemed like background noise in his upside down world. The only thing keeping him sane was the girl gripping his arm openly sobbing, he had to stay strong for Cassie, and it was the only thing keeping him from not joining her. After all he promised her he would take care of Cassie while she was in Atlantis.
The crowds dispersed, heading for their cars to avoid getting soaked to the bone, it was raining harder now that the procession was over. Teal’c, Daniel, General Hammond and Cassie still stood with him. But he couldn’t face them, he only gripped the flag tighter to his chest, hugging it against all his ribbons. Daniel saw the move and silently nodded to the cars, wanting to give Jack space. As they walked away Cassie looked back at the man she thought of as a father, hoping he would not give up on her.
Jack walked closer to the casket, reaching it he put one hand out, running it over the smooth, pristine surface. “You weren’t supposed to go first Sam. It was going to be me. You always were the stronger one, I don’t know if I can do this without you now” he cried, finally releasing all the tears that he had been holding onto since Rodney McKay called him that fateful day. Jack took off his cover and leaned his forehead against the top of the casket, his tears falling down onto the surface and mixing with the rain. He knew his friends were looking on, but he couldn’t seem to care, his world crashed and burned in front of him, there was never going to be lively blue eyes looking back into his brown ones. He wouldn’t get to touch her baby soft skin anymore, never hold her hand while walking in the park next to her house in the Springs. He now just had memories of her, and those memories would have to suffice until they were reunited again.
He lifted his head from the caskets lid, putting his cover back on and he touched the top once more, his palm resting on it, and the platinum band marring the unscathed surface. “I love you Sam, always” he whispered into the heavens. He walked back to the circle of friends, hugging the flag to his chest once more he gathered Cassie in his arms “it’s going to be okay” he said, and ray of sun shone down on the group, and for once Jack believed his own words. With Sam looking after him there was nothing he couldn’t do.
Story Notes: I do not own these characters.
End Notes: fin.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]