"See ya tomorrow Carter." Jack O'Neill called from across the parking lot of the mountain.
"Have a good night, Colonel." I yelled back at him. I climbed in my car. I was glad it was time to go home. Normally I enjoy work, but today was boring. There was no life threatening technology I had to deal with. The Colonel didn't even give me a made up problem to solve.
"Oh for crying out loud Sam! You dont have to call him "Colonel" in your mind!"
Why cant I ever call him "Jack''? I like the feeling of it when it slips past my lips. You know why Sam? Because he's your Commanding Officer. That's why. Strictly business. You already take flirting with him on levels you shouldn't be trespassing. But it is oh, so sweet. I'm so pathetic. I'm also so head over heels in love with Jack. Maybe I should stop somewhere and get wine and chocolate. That actually doesn't sound bad. But I can't. I have work in the morning. I can't get into another depressing night where I seriously considering quiting the Air Force just so I can fulfill me wants... My needs! Maybe music will distract me till I get home. Where is that damn radio dial?
"Elevator buttons and morning air,
Strangers' silence makes me wanna take the stairs."
That is very true. I think everyone at the base knows about my feelings for him... Or at least make bets about it. I always feel like the stairs on the back of my neck are crushing me in... I wish we did have stairs in that damn mountain.
"If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares,
but right now my time is their's"
He probably would laugh at their expressionless faces. He always seems to have something perfect to say at the perfect time. Right now my time IS their's. I never have time for myself. I'm always saving the world. Even for people I hate! Like that bitch from high school. Why should I save her ass? Calm down Sam. If you didn't save the world you wouldn't of met Jack. I never have time for me... Or Jack.
"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves,
They'll judge it like they know about me and you."
You got that right. Who came up with the regs anyway? Stupid Air Force rules. I am a grown woman... I think I know how to control myself. *Not when you are around Jack, you cant even control your breathing!* Yeah, I guess people judge. But how can you stop it? I wish I had that carelessness that Jack has of what people think of him. Nobody truly knows what's between us. It really WAS love at first sight.
"And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do,
The jury's out, my choice is you."
Yepp. While we are busting our asses out in the galaxy, the people who made the regs are sitting on their asses doing nothing but criticizing and being dictators! I wish the jury was out... My choice was you along time ago.
"So dont you worry your pretty little mind,
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard,
The stakes are high, the water's rough,
But this love is ours."
Jack does have a pretty mind. He always acts dumber then he really is. It's just his ways. I love that about him though. It adds to his many things I love about him. And people are always belittling him about it. Making him look stupid. He's not though. He is very smart. Life right now is looking like there will be no love for me. The stakes are extremely high! Court martial? No thanks. But I would if it was the only way to be with Jack. Our love in once in a life time. We understand each other. No matter what anybody says, they cant take it away.
"You never know what people have up their sleeves.
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me."
I am always afraid that if I dont tell him soon, Sara will realize what she let go and come back. And he will go to her. And when the subject of children comes up, I always try to watch what i say and not to remind him of Charlie.
"Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles,
But i dont care, 'cause right now you're mine."
You are almost mine. I just have to pluck up the courage to tell you.
"And you'll say-
dont you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard.
The stakes are high, the waters rough
But this love is ours."
Jack would say that to me. Always telling me to stop thinking, dont care what people think. And life does get difficult.
"And it's not their's to speculate
If it's wrong and your hands are tough
But they are where mine belong.
And I'll fight their doubt and give you faith
With this song for you."
Your hands are toughened by years in combat. But they ARE where mine belong. It's like my body was molded perfectly for you. I will try to fight their doubt and hopefully give you faith. Should I sing this to Jack?
"Cause I love the gap between your teeth.
And i love the riddles that you speak.
And any snide remarks from my father
About your tattoos
Will be ignored.
Cause my heart is your's."
He may not have a gap in his teeth but he has the cutest smile that melts my heart. And I love how he figures out the most difficult problem, and asks them in simplest terms. I know my father always picks on him. But that is only because he likes Jack. I wonder if Jack has any tattoos. You have always had my heart Jack O'Neill.
As I pull up to my house and turn off the car. I get out and meander up the sidewalk. Once I get in, I kick my shoes off, throw my jacket on the back of the couch, and walk to the kitchen. There I see Jack. Sitting in my kitchen. Eating an apple. Looking at me.
"Jack? I haven't hear you call me that in a long time." Yepp that's Jack.
"Sir, what are you doing?" I blush at my slip up.
"I just wanted to tell you something."
"It couldn't wait until tomorrow?"
I wait for him to go on but he doesn't.
"What is it, Sir?"
He stands up, throws the apple away and comes to stand right in front of me. I can smell his intoxicating scent. He kisses my cheek and then says,
"I just wanted to thank you. For everything."
I dont know how to react, what was so important about that?
"You're welcome, Sir. But why couldn't that wait?"
"Because I also wanted to say that... I... I"
I put my finger on his lips to silence him. He gets this "deer in headlights look"
"I know, me too. Wanna take a walk?"
I dont wait for him to answer. I put on my coat, grab his hand, entwined my fingers in his and walk down the street.
It may not be a "lost in the moment, moment" But it's a start. And i wouldn't want to be doing anything else right now.