Sam had been quiet ever since Jolinar died to save her. Usually I could make her laugh at my stupid jokes, but she just shrugged things off. Even Tealíc was beginning to get worried; she wasnít even in her lab playing with her doo-hickeys. I went to General Hammond hoping I could get SG1 some down time without too much explaining. He agreed without hesitation.
I kept thinking of how close she came to dying, I never did trust a Goaíuld. Now Iím supposed believe there are good snakes. I never have been able to tell her how I feel, at least not in words. I know she can feel the chemistry between us, I see it in her eyes. Deep blue pools, Iíve never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I could feel myself losing control, sheís my 2IC, I canít feel this way about her. But I do.
As I came around the corner I walked right into Daniel. As usual he had a stack of papers in his hands. I helped him pick them up, in a hurry to get to the lab.
ìJack, I didnít see youî Daniel stammered.
ìOn my way out of here, we have a week down time.î I replied as I walked away.
I approached Sam quietly, doing my best attempt to seem interested in her work. She pretended not to notice me.
ìCaptain, the General has given us some down time. Maybe you should go home and take it easy.î
ìYou havenít been acting like yourself lately.î
ìWith a do respect Sir, I am not myself anymore.î
I kicked myself for what Iíd said to her. I wanted to take her in my arms and assure her everything would be okay. I wanted her to open up to me.
ìCaptain, go home and rest. Thatís an order.î Rank has privileges sometimes.
She finished what she had been working on and began to pack up a few things to take home. I gave her my number in case she needed anything. At least I could be close to her off base, though I doubted sheíd call me even if I were the last person on the planet.
It was nearly dark when I got home. I was eager to get out of these damn fatigues. I grabbed a pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt, much better. After popping open a beer, I flipped through the channels looking for a hockey game. A few beers later I was beginning to fall asleep on the couch when the phone rang.
ìOíNeillî I said sleepily.
Oh god, it was Sam. My mind swirled, I could see her stretched out on her couch, her long legs tantalizing me. I was quickly pulled back to reality.
ìSir, could you come over?î her voice was shaky, she sounded scared.
ìGive me 20 minutes.î
I gave one last glance in the rearview mirror before I got out of the truck. I was nervous; Iíd only been in her house a few times. I tried to calm myself as I knocked on her door, my head swirled again as I waited.
ìThank you for coming sir.î
ìWeíre off baseÖcall me Jack please. Now whatís bothering you?î
"SirÖJack..I just donít want to be alone. Iíve felt empty and alone since Jolinar left me.î
She was near tears at this point. I couldnít take seeing her upset, it hurt me. She melted at my touch as I held her. She was so fragile, so far from the tough facade she had off world.
ìSam, its okay. Iím here with you, you wonít be alone again, I promise.î She looked up at me and I saw a smile form at the corners of her mouth. I let go of her long enough to toss my jacket on a chair. I could feel her fingers on my back as I pulled her close again. Now wasnít the time and I forced myself to stay in control.
ìYou need to sleep, Iíll stay with you.î I said as I kissed her on the forehead and led her down the hall. Her room was lit by the moonlight; I felt her tense as she entered. I gave her a hug and tucked her in. I felt her move but I couldnít see what she was doing. I kissed her forehead again and sat down in an old recliner she had in the corner. I smiled as I thought of how I used to tuck Charlie in at night in much the same way.
She looked so peaceful as she fell asleep. The moonlight danced across her hair, she looked almost like a statue. I leaned back in the chair, trying not to make any noise. She stirred and I could see she was holding something. I strained to see what it was. I got up and moved closer to her, laughing to myself as I realized that she had a stuffed bear in her arms. I pulled the covers up around her and went back to the chair.
My 2IC had a soft spot after all. I grinned, I knew a little more about her now. I made a point to remember not to say anything about the bear. This would be our little secret.