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Episode: Divide and Conquer


"Samantha."

Sam hesitated for only a moment, staring at the pain in his crystal blue eyes as he fought the desire in himself to self-destruct. She knew that if she allowed him to do it there would be no chance to find what a zatarc was, or to prevent this from happening again. She closed her eyes for a second. Then she shot him and ran, catching him as he fell.

She acted out on automatic pilot after that, still slightly foggy from the sedatives Janet had given her. She took his hand and slipped the Goa'uld device from it, wordlessly handing it to Daniel, knowing instinctively that he would be there. Looking down on Martouf she fought the urge to scream as Jolinar permeated her brain, trying to separate her feelings from the symbiotes. She had just killed her friend, her lover her soul mate.

From the back of her mind Sam heard Freya/Anise say something about his noble sacrifice, and looked up with tear-filled eyes. She needed someone to hold her, to make everything all right, but the man she loved was forbidden and the one she wanted to hold her was lying in her arms, dead. And there was nothing she could do about it.

She pulled his still warm body closer to her, cradling his head in her hand as tears started to spill down her cheeks, oblivious to everything around her. Hammond quietly signaled for everyone to leave and the officials filed out, leaving SG-1, Janet, Freya and the General in the gateroom. And Sam screamed.

All of Jolinar's memories flooded her head at once and Jack rushed forward as Martouf slipped from her arms and Sam curled up on the floor in the fetal position clutching her head. Their first meeting, how their eyes had met and they had played a cat and mouse game all night, avoiding each other. Their first kiss, his sweet lips as they moved across hers, his arms pulling her close and gathering her into his arms.

The fights they had had about her missions and the torrid lovemaking as they made up in case they never met again. The laughter they shared before she had been sent to Netu, unaware it was their last time together. Gradually the flashes became less, until one memory followed the other. Her body relaxed as the memories stayed pleasant and finally ended. Her last thought was of Martouf poised above her, smiling down into her eyes.

"I love you. Never forget that."

She sighed, and their bodies became one, a fire sweeping through her, knowing that she would always have these moments.

Jack knelt beside Sam, fighting the urge to gather her up and hug her as her body shuddered, convulsed and slowly relaxed, until she removed her hands from her head and opened her eyes to meet his. She accepted the offered hand and with his help slowly sat up, trying to stop herself from throwing herself at her commanding officer and losing herself in his arms.

One arm slid around her waist, his knee supporting her back as the other pushed her hair away from her eyes. She shivered at the light caress and turned towards him. "I'm sorry sir. Jolinar..." Her voice trailed off as he nodded.

"It's OK Carter, we understand." He put a slight emphasis on 'we' to remind himself and her that they were not alone.

Anise mentally nodded to herself as she watched them. As she had expected, the other woman was Sam.

Sam nodded, too exhausted to think about anything. She knelt beside Martouf and softly kissed his cheek, whispering in his ear, "Your love was all that she needed, and I'll never forget you. I love you." She stood up, refusing to look at Jack.

If she looked at him, the General would know how they felt, and she wouldn't be able to stop herself from grabbing a chance to touch him, to be with him. But she needed someone and if she couldn't have a hug from Jack or Martouf, she wanted one from her friend and surrogate brother.

Without saying a word she walked into the arms of the next best thing. Daniel sighed and hugged her tightly as she sobbed into his shirt, his heart aching because of the look on Jack's face as he watched them embrace.

Jack nodded his thanks to Daniel and walked out, his hands firmly entrenched in his pockets.



The End.




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