I walk into my lab and sigh. All weekend I've been trying to erase my head.
"Hey, Sam," Daniel walks in and hands me a coffee. "Thought you would need this." He sits down and my heart speeds up. Why would he say that? Does he know?
"Why would you say that?" I snap.
"Because it's Monday?" He says slowly. My heart rate drops noticeably.
"Right, sorry Daniel," I apologize. "I just had a bad start this morning."
"That's fine... so why did you leave so early on Friday?" I knew this was coming. Think Sam, what sounds good.
"I was just aching and had a headache from sitting up there that long. I just needed to go home and sleep." That sounds reasonable.
"I hope you felt better. We didn't stay much longer either."
I just nod and slowly sip my coffee.
--
I'm sitting in my living room, watching TV. I hear a knock on the door and groan. I am in sweatpants, and my hair is probably a disaster. I get up and pad to the door. I open it and try not to gasp. My whole body starts shaking.
"Um, hello, sir." I stammer out.
He looks around and then back at me. "Can I come in for a minute?"
"Uh, yeah, sure, I can make coffee." Doh! What are you thinking, Sam? We walk in and I make my way to the kitchen. I get the coffee out as he sits on one of the bar stools.
"So, what brings you here?" I ask. "Sir," I quickly add. I turn to look at him and find him looking at me with this look.
"Carter, I know that your IQ is higher than mine, Daniel's and Teal'c put together. Please don''t play dumb with me."
"Sir, I really don't feel like talking... I'm a mess..."
"Carter, you look fine! And we have to talk. Because if we don't things will be awkward, our performance in the field will slip, then and we'll be knee deep in Jaffa crap." He cuts me off. I look at him, his deep brown eyes are penetrating my thoughts.
I clear my throat, "Sit down, sir," I say. I step aside and wait for him to pass me. He sits in the middle of my couch, so I sit in the chair.
"C'mon, Sam, give me a break. I don't bite."
He's right. I sigh and get up slowly. I walk over and plop myself down next to him. "What do we need to talk about?"
He adverts his gaze from mine. "You know..." He says awkwardly.
"I didn't mean to do it, sir, I was out of control. I understand if you report me." His eyes shoot to mine.
"I'm not going to report you! Are you nuts?" He looks away and then quickly adds, "And drop the 'sir', we are way past that."
"So we forget this ever happened? Go back to the way it was before?" I ask. How I long for a relationship with him. But I wouldn't endanger his career.
"Could we go back to the way things were?" He asks me, seriously. Quietly.
"I don't know," I admit. I never imagined having this conversation with him.
"Do you want to forget? Honestly?" How do I answer that? If I say no, I'd be telling the truth. But the consequences might be horrifying. If I tell him yes, I'd be lying. I have never lied to him before.
"No, but we can't do anything about it." He looks at me. Millions of emotions are running through my head right now.
"And why not? Besides rules and regulations."
I look at him. Confused. I'm stumped. If rules and regulations didn't exist, what would be keeping us? "We don't even know if it would work out, Jack. Let's not jump to conclusions. The regulations do exist."
"So?"
"So if we get caught, we would both lose our jobs." I was getting irritated. He knew the risks as well as I did.
It's quiet. He suddenly gets close to me and talks just above a whisper. "I would be willing to give that all up. For you." I look at him, my heart thumps. Did he just say that? I can't fight him anymore. I love him. There. I said it. The L word. I get scoot closer to him and look at him.
"You do realize that if we do this, there is no turning back." I can't believe I'm doing this. The Air Force side of me is yelling at me. Commanding me to retreat back and take cover. But I'm not at work.
"I know. But I couldn't turn back after this even if I wanted to." He says with a slight smile.
"Well, you should probably get to know me outside of work. I do realize that we can't go out anywhere in Colorado Springs, but a night inside never hurt anyone." I was surprising myself. What the heck was I doing?
He smiles, "Wanna order some Chinese?" He knew me so well already. It was amazing. I just smile and nod and he follows me into the kitchen. He sits at the island as I dial the number and order what we always order for team poker nights. I look at him while I talk, and his gaze meets mine.
--
We're in the living room, sitting on the floor at the coffee table eating.
"Carter?"
"Yeah?" I take a bite of my noodles.
"What's you favorite color?" He asks. I look at him with a quizzical expression.
"Uh.. probably blue." I finally say. He nods.
We get done with dinner and he helps me clean up. How sweet. I feel that this is all a dream. It's moving by fast. But I can't help but feel a rush from it.
I walk him to the door and open it for him. He leans in smoothly, likes he's done this a billion times, and kisses me. It's light and delicious. His lips are warm and soft against mine. I lean into it, but he pulls away and smirks at me. "Goodnight, Sam," He chuckles as his walks past me and gets in his truck. I watch him go, the feel of him still on my lips.
Author's Notes: Wow. It has been awhile and I'm so sorry! I've just been so busy. But I'm hoping on getting the next chapter done tomorrow! =) Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! Means a lot! I hope you like this one!
End Notes: I love you guys!
xoxo,
WhiteTigers
xoxo,
WhiteTigers
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]