samandjack.net

Story Notes: Spoilers: 100 days, Shades of Grey, and maybe a few others.

Season/sequel: Set during 100 days, with my own little twists thrown in.

Author's notes: This is a very odd piece of work, and as I look back on it, I still cringe. The old `What was I thinking when I posted this!?' debate will no doubt dance around my head for a while. :) But, I think it's a good story, and feedback is always appreciated.

Feedback: Hell yeah! Don't make me beg.
E-mail: venom@scififan.com

Dedication: As always, for LEW.

Date: 11-3-2003

Copyright © to Venom, 2003


Haunting Obsessions

~*+*~

And the memories of a man are haunting her days
And the craving never fades.

The Corrs, Forgiven, not forgotten.

~*+*~

The fluttering under her fingertips was a welcome one and her hand continued to absently stoke her protruding stomach. She had often wondered, if the accident hadn't happened, if she would be in this position at all.

Not that she'd have it any other way, of course.

Circumstances being what they were, she was a little worried about the safety of her unborn child. Her doctor had been taken by the strangers, and although Jack had told her that he'd done a first aid course, she wasn't sure if she was completely comfortable with the idea of her husband delivering their child into the world.

Oh, she trusted him, and his skills, but there was something about the situation that unnerved her.

Walking along the lake, she spotted him coming down the river in the opposite direction, completely content in his canoe. Laira was fairly certain that he'd even named his beloved canoe `Carter,' but she wasn't going to bring it up.

After all, he had married her hadn't he?

"Fair day." She smiled as he banked the wooden boat.

"Fair day." He returned, stepping up on the shore to kiss her cheek and then her stomach. "Hey kid, how's it goin' in there?" He asked.

His question was met with a kick in her stomach that he felt. Satisfied, Jack stood up, smiling. He gently took Laira's hand and they began to walk back towards the village at a leisurely pace.

It was the same everyday. When she woke in the morning, he would be gone, and around lunchtime he would peacefully follow the river back down to the spot where they had first kissed, where she would be waiting.

Laira never asked where he went or what he did, she didn't see it as her place. She was his wife, yes, but she suspected that it was more a marriage of convenience than anything else.

The elder's council-the few that had stayed on Edorra and lived, anyway- were not happy about the fact that half of their population was missing. They had been very adamant that it was Jack's fault that they all had to work twice as hard to compensate for the diminished numbers.

Vote's had been taken on what to do with Jack, and he had been given little say in the matter. The council was a collection of ten men and woman who were usually compassionate, and fair in their rulings. In Jack's case, however, they had wanted to take the barbaric route and exile him from the village.

Laira had known that he couldn't survive. Their decision had come at the end of autumn, and with winter so close, he wouldn't able to gather enough supplies to survive on.

That hadn't seemed to effect the council though.

Most of the village had agreed with them. Jack's team had taken half of their people away, why should he be treated to their hospitality?

While the council saw a man responsible for the loss of their loved ones, Laira saw the man who had risked his own life, and his chance to return home, to save her son and his girlfriend.

But her arguments had done little to sway them.

She'd tried everything that she'd known that would sway the council. She'd used compassion, anger, tried to gather sympathy, but in the end nothing had worked.

So she'd told them that she and Jack had fallen in love.

He'd done well to hide his shock, and just nodded in admission. They council had demanded to know when they had started sharing a bed, what they planned to do with their lives. Jack had promptly informed them that he wanted to be `bound' with the woman.

Laira knew that it was a lie. She cared for Jack, and he cared for her because she had taken him in and shown compassion to him when everyone else was determined to make him feel unwelcome.

But there was no love.

Well, at least, Laira didn't think that Jack felt that way for her…..her own feelings were still in turmoil. He was sweet, kind, and attentive to her needs, but could she love a man who obviously didn't want her for who she was? Could she love someone who merely saw her as his chance for survival?

She wasn't sure.

"You okay?" Jack's question broke through her thoughts and she smiled up at him, her hand still resting protectively over her abdomen.

"I am well." She smiled. "Did you enjoy the river this morning?" She asked, the same question that she asked every morning.

"It was peaceful…..I saw Paynen this morning." Jack told her after a brief pause.

"I hope he was not unpleasant to you."

"No, no, nothing like that. He wanted me to tell you that Jaylan had some bigger work shirts for you to accommodate your size, all you have to do is ask."

"I will see her tonight, at the party." Laira replied.

"Will you be out late?" He asked as they neared their home.

Laira smiled at his words, unable to help herself. "You worry?"

"Of course."

"You need not concern yourself Jack, for you shall be there with me." She replied, walking into the wash room before he had a chance to reply.

~*+*~

Sam woke up reluctantly, her sleep deprived body protesting as she opened her eyes and life her head from the makeshift `pillow' that she had been using.

"You've got numbers and letters on your cheek." Daniel informed her from his position at the doorway.

Self-consciously rubbing her cheek, Sam felt the indents on her cheek from resting on her keyboard all night.

Damn.

She couldn't help but grin. "What time is it?" She asked, suppressing a yawn.

"Almost nine." He replied.

Sam's eyes widened in shock, panic clouding her eyes. "What? Nine! We have a briefing!" She cried.

"Relax Sam, Hammond cancelled it."

"Why?"

"Tessa has to have her appendix taken out. We have a temp General for the day so he can be with her." Daniel explained.

"Oh." Sam nodded, biting her bottom lip. "I should get back to work."

"Sam…." Daniel paused, wondering if she would bite his head off again for bringing this subject up again. "Don't you think that you should take a break?"

"I can't Daniel….I have to bring him home."

"When exactly was the last time you left the base?" He asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

"A while." She admitted reluctantly.

"Sam, you haven't left the base in six months. You've lost your house, and all of your stuff is in storage….what does that tell you?" He asked.

Sam looked at her friend.

Yes, her house had been sold because she wasn't paying the rent. Her stuff was in storage, but she'd practically lived in the SGC for the past four years anyway, paying the bills seemed a little futile.

"But out Daniel." She snapped, tired.

Daniel winced at the harsh tone and walked to the door, turning back to relay the message that had brought him here in the first place. "Janet said to get down to the infirmary today, she wants to see you."

Sighing at the hurt look on Daniel's face, Sam stood and arched her back, desperately trying to work out the kinks that had accumulated there during her…..-quick look at watch-…..three hours of sleep.

She sighed again, and headed towards the infirmary, ignoring the strange looks that she was getting from the passing airmen. At best guess, either she finally had grown something out of her nose of she still had letters on her cheek.

"Major Carter." Jenny, head nurse, greeted her, ushering her towards one of the gurneys at the back of the large room. "Doctor Fraiser will be here in a moment." She smiled, bounding away from Sam before she even had the chance to utter a sound.

Sam took the time to study her fingernails. Short, but neat and they had grease under them from her current project. She made a mental note to do something about them when she got the Colonel home.

"Hey Sam." Janet smiled, pulling the curtain around the bed for a little privacy.

"Janet, you wanted to see me?" Sam knew why she was here, more than likely it was to receive the same lecture that everyone else had been giving her, but she decided to play dumb for a bit, and-hopefully- avoid the inevitable.

"Yes. Just a check-up. Hop on the scales." She smiled cheerfully, and Sam willingly complied.

Janet frowned at the reading. "What?"

If possible, the doctor's from deepened significantly. "You've lost more weight."

"It's probably just a phase, I'll put it back on soon enough." Sam defended with a shrug.

"Sam, you haven't put on weight in almost eight months. You're severely under for your age and height, and I'm not happy. When was the last meal you had?" Janet crossed her arms across her chest, with her best `and you had better not lie to me' look plastered on her face.

"A few days ago." Sam shrugged. "I've been busy."

"And, when was your last period?"

"About four or five months ago, but Jolinar….."

Janet cut her off. "Don't use Jolinar as an excuse, Sam. Before that, they were regular, weren't they?"

"Yes."

"And now they're not."

"No, but it's probably just the chemical imbalance, you've said it yourself that my body chemistry isn't what it should be."

"Sam, you've been getting regular hormone shots to regulate your cycle, remember?" Sam nodded. "And now you've lost so much weight that you've started skipping periods."

"So…..?"

Janet's frown deepened at her friend's defiant tone. "So, I have no choice but to order you off the base for the next three days. If you come back during that time, I will have you removed from this program."

"You can't do that!'

Crossing her arms, Janet sighed quietly. "I can Sam, but I've been hoping that you'd start getting back to normal before it came to this. But if you don't start looking after yourself then I'll have no choice."

Sam stood and looked down at Janet. "I will not go home and put my feet up while my friend is stuck on another planet!" She told her firmly, marching out of the infirmary.

"At least get something to eat!" Janet called after her and Sam dismissed her with a curt wave.

~*+*~

Jack waited until Laira came out of the wash room before demanding answers. "I can't go to this party Laira, you're people blame me for what happened!"

"Can you control fire rain, Jack?" She asked.

His confusion was clearly displayed on Jack's face. "No, no one can."

"Then their blame is misplaced. I would like your company tonight, would you please accompany me?" She asked sweetly, rubbing her stomach.

Jack sighed deeply. He'd been here almost a year and the people still blamed him for what happened, how was he supposed to start building bridges with them and interact on a social level now?

"Fine." He agreed reluctantly.

"Good." Laira smiled.

Jack couldn't help but feel that it was going to be a long night.

~*+*~

Sam had decided that heading to the commissary was a good idea after all, and made her way there. The cooks were surprised to see her in there, and so was the rest of the room who all fell silent upon her arrival.

Something inside of her just…..snapped.

"Yes, people, I do have to eat too. For crying out loud, anyone would think that none of you had ever seen someone who was hungry!" letting out a long breath she waited until everyone returned to their previous activities before grabbing a tray.

The young man behind the counter watched, fascinated, as she loaded up her tray with as much as possible. Mostly packaged foods, he noted absently. Sam looked up. "Do you have any cans of soup here?" She asked.

James nodded and went into the kitchen before returning with ten cans, all different flavors. He lined them up on the counter. "Which one would you like ma'am?" He asked.

"All of them." She smiled, placing the large cans onto her tray, which was now very full. In the end, Sam had to put food in her fatigue pockets.

Once she was sure that she had enough food to last at least three weeks, more if she rationed it better, Sam left the room and headed back to her lab.

The particle beam generator 2 and it predecessor, the original generator, were both waiting, untouched, for her where she had left them. Opening one of the cupboards, Sam moved some of her tools to a lower shelf and stocked it up with the food that she had gathered. There was a sink in her lab for emergency's, a small cot in the storage room, a bar fridge in the storage room, and she'd even managed to get a toilet installed.

Essentially, she could live out of here for a while if she had to.

~*+*~

Jack sat towards the back of the room, staying out of people's way. He'd already gotten a rather unpleasant lecture from a drunken villager upon his arrival, and he was in no hurry to repeat the experience.

Laira was at the other end of the room, enjoying the party, no doubt.

He sighed.

He would happily give his left leg to be back on Earth with a cold beer, a hockey game, and his friends for the night.

The Edorrans were being anything and everything but welcoming. He understood their need to blame someone for what had happened, but surely he wasn't the only target available?

What about all the idiots that had chosen to stay and either be killed or injured? Everyone seemed to have forgotten about that, because they were native and he was just an alien to them.

At that moment he understood how Teal'c felt.

Garran sat down next to Jack and paused before speaking. "They don't all blame you."

"Then those select few have a very funny way of showing it." Jack replied bitterly.

Yes, he was bitter, and he had a right to be.

He had helped these people rebuild their lives. He tended to the herds of cattle-that's what he'd chosen to call them anyway-he'd helped them plant and harvest their crops and worked doubly hard when winter had approached to ensure that they all survived the cold. He'd made nails and hammers for crying out loud!

Surely that deserved some recognition?

Apparently not.

He was trying his best to fit in here. He had his `alone' time with the canoe every morning, but then he would work in the fields, or wherever he thought he was needed most, for the rest of the afternoon. He didn't say much to the people, and he didn't regale them with stories of Earth and his life.

"They are just afraid of going against the council's findings." Garran told him, his voice low.

"People have a right to say what they think." Jack insisted.

"You don't." Garran pointed out.

Jack smirked a little. "Yeah, well that's because at the moment most of my thoughts involve four letter words."

Garran missed the meaning.

"Do you miss Earth?" He asked.

"Earth is my home, of course I miss it."

"Edorra is your home at the moment."

"That won't last forever." He certainly hoped not. "Carter will figure something out. She always does."

"Major Carter is very smart, but you've been digging the whole time you've been here, and you still have yet to find the Stargate."

Jack blew out a long breath, knowing the kid had a point. Not that he was going to admit that. "Then I guess I'll just have to rely on Carter."

~*+*~

He was relying on her, she told herself.

Time and time again, that though alone had gotten her through the tiredness, the hunger, and the exhaustion. And it was probably the only thing that had stopped her from shooting anyone who interrupted her work.

Which was why she had ended up like she was at the moment.

The Asguard, Tollan and Tok'ra had all been contacted when the Eddoran Stargate had first been cut off. The quickest ship that any of their allies had would take at least two years to reach Eddora.

Sam wouldn't let him wait that long.

Her lab was fairly secluded from the rest of the base, and most of this level was deserted. Hammond had decided that it was probably safer after she and Merran had tested the Naqudah reactor. But, the seclusion meant that no one had tried to get in as yet.

Even if they did, the swipe on machine that opened her lab door had been involved in a very unfortunate accident. Now, it only responded to one card, hers. And, because there were copies available from the Pentagon, she had made herself a new one.

The food that she had taken from the commissary had been rationed out, and she worked out that she could survive on her supplies for two months if her eating habit's followed the same pattern that they had for the past five months. Besides, she also had an emergency stock of chocolate in the fridge that would make the food supply stretch for over three months.

Sam had emptied out her locker before she locked herself in her lab.

She had a toothbrush, the pajamas that the Colonel had brought for her-space patterns, with little Roswell aliens on them- and some civvies that she'd always kept on base in case of emergencies. She had three tubes of toothpaste that she'd stolen from Janet's locker, as well as her own.

She had all of the personal items that mattered to her-a picture of her mother, and her family all together, a picture of SG-1 and another which included Hammond, Janet and Cassie and a picture of Jack. And she'd brought blankets from her quarters and made up the cot in her storage room.

The photograph of Jack had been scanned, and several copies had been made, printed and hung around her lab. Whenever she looked up, she'd see a picture of him and that would drive her to work harder at getting the second generator to work.

He should have been home by now.

And he would have, if the first generator hadn't malfunctioned at the last second and blown up, nearly incinerating the Stargate. Three airmen had died in the explosion, three more had been hurt. Because of the accident, Sam had to start again on the plans to get him home and modify the second generator so that it wouldn't suffer the same fate.

She would have had the project finished months ago, but everyone kept insisting that she take a break. The constant interruption had all become too much.

So, she'd quietly set up her storeroom with everything she'd need.

Even managed installed a small fridge for drinks and the sandwiches, which had been put in several months before Jack had been stranded. He'd brought it for her as a Christmas present. Something along the lines of 'you there that often anyway, you might as well have access to some Bud for when I visit.' He'd joked.

She'd gone up to the top level of the base, signed out, and then maneuvered her way back in and locked herself in the lab. The security camera had been damaged from an explosion-very minor at that- a few months back. She'd insisted that they wait until she had finished with the PBG before they fixed it, in case the generator blew up again and ruined their efforts.

The idiotic technician that she'd feed that line to had believed her.

Looking at his picture again, Sam returned to work…..she *would* get him home.

Back to her.

~*+*~

Jack contemplated his conversation with Garran for a while before he attempted to make contact with Laira. She was engrossed in a debate with several other pregnant women about the winter crops when he'd found her, so he'd quietly slipped out of the house and into the cool night. He could tell that winter was approaching, even without seeing the Eddorans mad rush to gather supplies, he could feel it.

Someone else was out here he realised, hearing the sobs of a woman from the distance. Following the sound, he found Paynen's wife sobbing into her hands with her back resting against a large boulder.

"Jaylan?" He asked quietly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up and Jack could see her tear streaked face in the bright moonlight. "Mind if I sit down?" He asked.

Jaylan didn't trust her voice to work so she merely nodded and he slid down onto the boulder next to her, mirroring her position. "I did not think that anyone had noticed my leaving." She admitted.

"I heard you crying and came to see what was going on." He replied. "Wanna talk about it?"

"My husband loves another." She told him quietly.

Jack hadn't had any experience with infidelity in his life, and really had no idea what to say. "I'm sorry." It wasn't the most profound or comforting thing he could have though of, but it would have to do.

"As was I." She smiled grimly. "He will not leave me for her. There are many things that would happen if he were to do that and we have a fragile harmony among our people since the accident that sent the others away. He will not jeopardize that for his own happiness."

"I know this will sound horrible, but if he wont leave you, then why are you so upset?"

"Because she carries his child within her."

~*+*~

Sam looked at her watch, just after four in the morning. The time was perfect. She picked up her cell phone and dialed the base switchboard.

"This is Major Samantha Carter, password Chocolate Brown eyes. I'd like to speak to Doctor Fraiser please." She told the operator. She was put on hold while he checked the file's to see if her password was correct, and then came back.

"I'll put you through ma'am."

The phone rang several times before her friend answered. "Fraiser."

"Hey Janet."

"Sam." She could hear the weariness in her voice. "Where are you? We haven't heard from you in a few days."

"You told me to leave." Sam pointed out.

"Yes, but I thought that you'd try to get back in at least once. Are you at a motel?" So, Janet had heard about her house then. Daniel was probably relaying information at every possible opportunity.

"No, I'm in San-Diego. I decided to ask for a month's leave and come visit my brother." She lied.

"What about getting the Colonel home? The particle beam generator?"

"I left instructions with my lab assistant, he knows how to reach me if things go wrong. And anyway, I'm uploading a de-bugging program into the system and it's going to take a while. No point in hanging around if I have nothing to do, is there?"

"Fair enough."

"So…..yeah, I just wanted to let you know where I was. If you need me, then you can always call. Oh, I have to go, Abby wants ice cream. Bye Janet!" She hung up and then called the switch back.

"This is Major Samantha Carter, password Chocolate Brown eyes. I'd like to speak to General Hammond please."

~*+*~

Jaylan had calmed down significantly, and was heading back to join the others. If she was gone too long, someone would notice. Then they would immediately notice Jack's absence from the party and jump to conclusions. She didn't want his reputation among her people tarnished any more than it already had been.

Despite what the rest of the village thought, he was a good man, and she could see that by simply remembering the comforting arm he had placed around her shoulder and the way that he had remained non- judgmental as she cried into his shirt.

Why everyone else hated him, she would never understand.

Opening the door to her home, she saw that no one had notice she was gone. They were all concentrating on Laira, who was lying on the floor biting her bottom lip in pain. "What's going on?" She asked the nearest person.

"She is bringing her child into the world." He replied.

Paynen held her hand as she grimaced in pain while he Saylien wiped her brow with a damp cloth. "I'll get Jack." She muttered, running out of the house in search of the man.

He was exactly where she had left him, resting against the boulder. "Laira is giving birth." She told him, breathless from the run.

Jack shot up and ran back to the house, ready to deliver his child.

~*+*~

Sam hadn't slept in three days. She knew, from experience, that her body could continue to function for five days before the need for sleep overwhelmed her and she was forced to take a break. At the moment, however, her brain was filled with equations, mechanics, wormhole theories and numbers, and she was concerned that any for of distraction, sleep included, would force her thoughts away.

She couldn't allow that.

She had a man to rescue.

Occasionally, she would let her thoughts stray to him. She wondered what he was doing with himself of Edorra. Of course, he could have been killed when the meteor struck the Stargate. If he had been within three miles of it when it was hit…..

No, she told herself firmly, he had to be alive.

She'd been working on this project for over a year now, there was no way that all of that time had been wasted.

So, she let herself imagine that he was alive and well. No doubt he would have found something to do, Jack was one of those men that always had to keep their hands busy…..which brought her thoughts around to Laira.

The native woman had all but peed on Jack in an effort to mark her territory.

Sam knew that she was a good woman, and a loving mother, and she had sat down with Laira on several occasions throughout their first visit. She explained the situation with the meteor to her, and she'd shown her some of the basic workings of their equipment. Laira had seemed most interested in their radios, and seemed to Sam to be a naturally inquisitive woman.

But there was something about her. She had seemed far to willing to seduce Jack for Sam's liking. But it had been a subtle seduction. Laira was intelligent in that area, she didn't just throw herself at him. It was genuinely bright smiles, and the occasional touch that would win him over, the native woman had worked that much out in three days.

It had taken Sam three years to come to the same conclusion.

~*+*~

Jack smiled at his sleeping daughter, rocking her gently.

Everyone had instantly fell in love with Beth, and Jack was no exception. She had brown eyes and blonde hair, and she looked more like Laira than him, but that didn't matter.

The Eddorans had warmed up to him in leaps and bounds since she was born, nearly three months earlier. It had seemed odd at first, but Jack decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

If they were going to welcome him a little better, then who was he to complain?

Sometimes he though about Earth. He knew that Carter would be working to try and figure out a way to get him home, but as he looked at his beautiful daughter, Jack had to wonder if her really wanted to go back.

Okay, so even if the villagers were being a little nicer, they still resented him, and he was married to a woman that loved him, even if the sentiment wasn't returned. But on the positive, he had a beautiful daughter, peaceful surroundings, his canoe, and a placid lake…..one that actually had fish in it!

What more could a guy ask for, really?

~*+*~

Hammond had received a call from Major Carter, about a month and a half ago, requesting two more months leave to stay with her brother. He'd found it a little odd that she'd want to take so much time off while her commanding officer and friend was stranded on a planet thousands of light years from home, but it was the first vacation she had asked for, and she was certainly entitled to it.

With Doctor Fraiser's recommendations, he'd agreed.

Her lab had been left untouched, and the door was locked. Since an accident had occurred in there, involving lots of fragile technology, while she had been off-world, Carter had requested permission to keep it locked when she wasn't there.

Hammond could see the logic.

But something wasn't sitting right with him. He couldn't put his finger on it at the moment, but he'd figure it out.

~*+*~

The dormant Stargate spun to life and Sam looked up from her work, hearing the klaxons blaring. She was tempted to leave the sanctuary of her lab to see if it was him, but she knew that if they discovered her deception then she'd be taken to the loony bin…..or worse, Mackenzie.

George waited, anxious, to see if an IDC was received. He had three teams currently off world and none of them were due back.

Early arrivals usually meant trouble.

Janet seemed to come to the same conclusion as she ran up to the control room, waiting to receive any injured.

"Receiving the Tok'ra IDC sir, shall I open the iris?" Walter asked, looking up at Hammond.

The General nodded. "Defence teams stand ready, we don't know if it's really the Tok'ra or not!" He called through the microphone.

Jacob Carter stepped out of the event horizon and the airmen inside of the `Gate room visibly relaxed. "Hey George!" He waved, and looked around, a frown forming on his face. "Where's my daughter?"

~*+*~

Jack was going crazy.

There was no other way to describe it.

While, at first, he had been happy that the Eddorans were warming up to them, he didn't realise that he would soon become their center of entertainment. All they ever wanted to hear about was Earth.

And, while he had faith in Carter's ability to get him home, he was trying to accept the fact that he might never return. When people started asking him to tell them more, it made that harder and harder to do.

It was at these times that he realised how much he really did miss home. Hell, even Daniel knew when to shut up and give him some peace and quiet. These people didn't have the same trait, obviously.

Sure, having Beth was wonderful, and she was a good kid and didn't cry unless something was wrong, but she slept most of the day-as baby's do- and rarely needed his attention. When she was awake, it was usually because she needed to be fed-something that he couldn't do- or changed.

Laira seemed hell bent on developing some kind of sex life between them, and that was just plain weird. Sure, she was attractive, and a wonderful mother, but that didn't mean that he wanted to sleep with her.

How was he supposed to tell her that without hurting her feelings?

Yep, he was definitely going crazy.

~*+*~

Hammond had told Jacob everything that he knew about the situation. From Jack's current predicament, to his ominous feeling about Sam's sudden request for time off.

The two General's sat in silence for a long moment, while Jacob absorbed what he had been told. "Can I borrow the phone?" He asked.

"You know where it is."

Jacob smiled and picked up the phone on Hammond's desk. He dialed his son's number and waited for someone to answer.

"Hello?"

"Abigail? What are you doing answering the phone?"

"Grandpa!" The little girl squealed down the phone.

Jacob couldn't hold back a smile at her enthusiasm. "Is your Dad home, sweetie?"

"Hang on, I'll get him." Jacob heard the phone being dropped and the little girl running to get her father. "Daddy! Grandpa's on the phone!"

"Dad?"

"Hi Mark."

"How are you?"

Small talk, Jacob almost sighed. "Fine. Can I speak to Sam?"

"Sam? She isn't here."

"Did she go out or something?"

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"Sam requested three months leave to come and stay with you…..she's not there?"

"Dad, I haven't seen Sam since you came down here with her. I spoke to her about four months ago, but that was the last time. Is everything okay?"

His voice was worried, Jacob couldn't blame him. "Yes, I must have got my wires mixed up. Do you have her cell number, I'll try her on that?"

Hammond wordlessly handed his friend a pen and paper and her scribbled down the number. "Thanks, you take care Mark, say hello to Jake and Susan for me."

"Will do. When you get hold of Sam, tell her to call me will you?"

"Sure. Bye."

"Bye."

Jacob hung up the phone and blew out a long breath. "She isn't there."

"I gathered. Try her cell. Maybe she changed her plans."

Picking up the phone again, Jacob looked at his friend. "I hope so George, I really do."

~*+*~

Sam was almost there.

She could feel it. Maybe another two hour's work and the generator would be finished. Just how she was going to explain that she came back from her `vacation' with a particle beam accelerator, was another problem altogether.

Thus far, the plan was to finish the project, get some much needed sleep, and then work on a way to convince the General to use the generator *and* let her go through the Stargate before her Court Martial.

She was almost……her cell phone?

Okay, there were three possibilities. The first being, that Jack was back and they were ringing to tell her the good news. The second, there had been an accident on base and they needed her help urgently, or she had been discovered and they were calling to tell her to open her lab door before they had to break it down.

Sam crossed her fingers and hoped for the first scenario while she answered her phone.

"Carter."

"Sammy."

Sam almost dropped the phone at the sound of his voice on the other end. What the hell was her father doing here? "Dad."

"How are you?"

Small talk, Sam almost sighed. "Good. You?"

"Not bad. Just though I'd drop by Earth and see how my little girl was doing, but George tells me that you're off visiting Mark."

She hated lying to her father. She couldn't do it when she was a teenager, and she wasn't much better at it now. "Yeah, figured it was about time I took a vacation."

"Fair enough. How are they?"

"Good. You wouldn't believe how tall Abby is now! She's shot up like you wouldn't believe! And Jake is running around at a hundred miles an hour, I've never been so glad for basic training in my life!"

Jacob laughed. "Yeah well, kids will be kids."

"I guess. How long are you in town for?"

"Not long. I had some info for George and I was going to come by and see you, but I don't have time."

Sam felt herself relax a little at his words. "Maybe next time."

"Maybe. I have to go, this is going to cost the SGC a fortune."

"Okay. Give my best to Selmak."

"She says hi. Love you sweetheart."

"Love you too dad, bye."

Sam hung up the phone and turned it off. She was close, she just knew it.

~*+*~

"Why does this sport, `hockey' hold your interest so much Jack?"

He had the urge to scream. Jamey was the third person to ask him that question in an hour. He never should have mentioned his love of the sport at all. "Just does." He shrugged.

Jamey seemed to get the hint, and moved on to another group of people.

For a quite village, the Eddoran's could sure throw one hell of a party. There were usually no specific reasons for the gatherings, just spur of the moment things. This one was no exception, but Jack didn't feel much like partying.

"You look sad." Laira commented, sitting down next to him.

"I'm okay." He lied.

"You miss your world."

"Always."

"You said that you may never be able to return, and yet you still wish for it."

"Carter's smart, she'll work it out eventually."

"It may be many moon's before that happens."

Thanks Laira. "I know."

"Will you ever learn to accept that your place is here?"

"You must know by now, that a very big part of me will never be able to fully accept this. A big part of me will never leave the life I had behind."

"That is not the part I want."

Jack recognized her words. She had said them to him before the conception of their daughter had taken place. Speaking of…..

"Where's Beth?"

"Jaylan was not in the mood to attend tonight. She offered to watch Beth."

Jack nodded, he liked Jaylan. And he felt sorry for the woman after what she'd told him on the night of Beth's birth.

An uncomfortable silence descended upon them, and Jack felt obligated to say something, anything, to put them both at ease. As long as they were talking, they could continue the pretense of being happy. The council was watching them, Jack could feel it.

"Are you having a good time?"

"I am." She smiled. "Although I suspect that you are not."

Jack shrugged. "I just don't feel like partying."

Laira smiled gently. "Why don't you go and check on Beth." She suggested, and he was grateful for the opportunity to leave.

"I will. See you at home." He kissed her on the cheek and left Paynen's hut and headed back to his own.

~*+*~

"She lied."

"You know that for a fact?"

"She was telling me how grown up Abby is and how Jake's running around like nothing else."

"She lied."

Jacob couldn't understand it. Where would Sam be and why would she feel the need to lie about it? Unless…..

"Does she have anyone in her life at the moment?"

"Everyone in the SGC is in her life Jacob."

"No, I don't mean like that, I mean *someone* specific."

"You don't know?"

So he wasn't up to date on his daughter's love life? He wasn't even on the planet most of the time.

Literally.

"No."

Hammond made a face that Jacob tried not to interpret. "I don't think so." He replied slowly, unaware of what Sam had told her father about the situation she had with her CO.

"She hasn't said anything?"

"You think that everyone at the SGC comes to me when the start dating someone new? I'm their commanding officer, I stay out of their love lives."

"Good point. I would too."

"Although Doctor Jackson and Doctor Fraiser are dating, I believe."

Jacob smiled. "How do you know that?"

George shrugged slightly. "Grapevine."

"Well, do you think that Doctor Fraiser might have any idea about my daughter's love life?"

Hammond shrugged. "It's worth a shot."

He picked up the phone and dialed the infirmary, asking for Doctor Fraiser to be sent up immediately.

~*+*~

Jack heard her crying before he'd even reached the door to the house.

"Jaylan?" He called.

She walked into the room, carrying Beth in her arms. Quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks, she smiled at him. "Jack."

"Are you okay?"

"I am well."

"Beth?"

"She is well also. She has not cried in my presence."

He smiled. "You're a natural. You'll make a great mother."

Jaylan returned the smile, but her eyes were sad. "I am unable to bare children."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It is not your fault Jack. I do not tell everyone that I meet."

"I can understand why."

"Would you like to hold your daughter now?"

"Sure."

He wasn't sure why Jaylan had been crying, but he figured that if she wanted to talk, she'd let him know.

~*+*~

"You wanted to see me sir?"

"Have a seat Doctor."

"Yes sir. General Carter, it's nice to see you again." She smiled, taking the seat that had been offered.

"Janet, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Jacob?"

"I don't know sir." She smiled. "Was there something wrong?"

"No Doctor, nothing's wrong. We need to ask you a personal question, completely off the record."

Janet looked worried but nodded. "Do you know if Sam's seeing anyone?" Jacob asked.

"As in dating?"

"Yes."

"Um…..she hasn't said anything to me. But I doubt it sirs."

"Why do you doubt it?"

"Because over the past year and a bit, the only way I've been able to get Sam off base is by ordering her. She didn't have time to pay her own bills, let alone date anyone. If she couldn't keep her house then I doubt that she had much time for men."

"Sam lost her house?"

Suddenly, Janet felt like she had a bad case of foot in mouth disease, but answered none the less. "Yes sir. She didn't pay her rent or any of her bills. The gas and electricity were cut off, then the water, and eventually the landlord had her evicted, it didn't bother her though. She never left the base anyway."

"You had to order her to leave? What else did you have to order her to do?" Jacob asked.

"Um…..I can't say sir, doctor/patient confidentiality."

Jacob was very thankful that Hammond intervened at that point. "Doctor, Major Carter isn't at her brothers. She lied about it when Jacob rang her, we have no idea where she is or if she's in danger. I think we can waver the confidentiality rule in this case."

Janet's eye's widened.

Sam had lied?

She sighed, and took a deep breath. "I had to order her to eat. She collapsed three times and I've had her on a drip to feed her on several occasions. She was living of coffee and I had to put sedatives in her cups to get her to sleep."

"My God." Jacob breathed.

This is how his little girl had been living?

"I don't understand her behavior any more than you do sir. It's like she's obsessed with getting Colonel O'Neill home. More so since the accident."

"Accident?" Jacob repeated.

Exactly how much of his daughter's life had he missed recently?

"Major Carter thought of a plan to bring Jack home. She had to build a particle beam accelerator to get the Stargate to work properly. The first one she built exploded and killed three people. She blamed herself." Hammond told him.

"But it wasn't her fault." Janet assured. "No one but herself is blaming Sam for the accident, but she felt like she had to work harder to build another one. One that was perfect, was what she told me."

"Where could she be then?"

That, unfortunately, was the million-dollar question.

~*+*~

Sam couldn't help but smile proudly, it was done.

It had taken her a year and a half, almost four of those months in isolation, but she had finished it. Sam was certain that this generator would work. She had uploaded safety procedures, and even an alarm that would signal if the device was going to explode again.

She'd had a brief nap to regenerate herself and used her Bunsen burner to heat up a can of soup. Now all she had to do was work out her next course of action.

It would be easy to sneak back out of her lab and get to the surface, and then check back in like she had been at Mark's all along. But, if her father was here, then she'd have to wait a few days before she could do that. Or, she could always put the generator on a cart and walk out of here and admit that she'd been hiding in her lab for almost four months.

But then they'd make her seem Mackenzie.

~*+*~

"Has anyone checked her lab?" Janet asked.

"Her lab is locked, like it always is when Major Carter isn't on base. And besides, we would have known if she came back in."

"Sir, no disrespect intended, but Sam known this base better than anyone else. Do you really think that she couldn't get back in if she had to?" Janet asked.

"But she'd need food. She couldn't survive for this long without it, so she would have had to come out to get something to eat." Jacob pointed out.

Something inside of Janet's head clicked. "Sir, permission to be excused. I have an idea, and I need to check something out."

"Granted."

Janet stood and walked quickly to the door. "Sirs, don't go anywhere, I'll be back in ten."

Walking faster than she though her legs could possibly go, Janet reached the elevator and stepped in, pressing the button for the appropriate level, she waited impatiently for the cart to reach her destination.

As soon as the doors opened, she ran towards the main room on the level. Spotting the man she was looking for, she ran over to him. "James, can you come with me for a moment?" She asked.

"Doctor?"

"The General needs to ask you a few questions."

James dropped his ladle back into the pot he was stirring and followed the doctor back to the elevator, and then into Hammond's office.

"Sir." He nodded, snapping a sharp salute at both General's.

"Rogers." Hammond nodded. "Doctor, care to explain yourself?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

"Sir, James is the base cook. He's here every day and I think he might be able to answer our question."

Jacob smiled, for a red-head, Janet was pretty smart. "James, was it?"

"Yes sir."

"I like your Lemon Chicken."

"Thank you sir."

"It certainly beats what the Tok'ra have."

"I can imagine sir."

"When was the last time you saw Major Carter?" Hammond asked.

"About four months ago sir."

"She hasn't been into the commissary since then?"

James shook his head, feeling like he was the barer of bad news. "No sir."

"Than she can't be on base if she hasn't been out for food." Hammond concluded, forgetting that James was there.

"Actually sir, Major Carter may have had enough food to last her a while."

"Why do you say that?" Janet demanded.

"Because the last time she came into the infirmary, everything she took was packaged foods. Canned soup, sandwiches, bags of instant salads. She had a tray load full of food as well as her pockets." James replied.

Jacob was momentarily stunned. "Do you remember what everyone has?"

James shook his head. "No sir, but when Major Carter came in that day, everyone was surprised. We hadn't seen her in a while, and she had something to say about it."

"What did she say?" Janet asked.

"Um…..I think it was something about none of us having seen someone who was hungry before." He replied. "Oh and she also said for crying out loud." He added as an afterthought.

"Jack's saying." She muttered, mostly to herself.

"So…..is she on the base or not?" Jacob asked.

"Yes."

The voice that answered didn't belong to any of the original occupants of the room and everyone turned to see Major Carter standing at the doorway.

~*+*~

Jack was getting sick of trying to fight her off.

Laira was attractive, he wasn't denying that, but part of him was telling him that sleeping with her was not something that he wanted to do. He didn't know why. His divorce from Sara had been finalized years ago, and although he did love her, he wasn't *in* love with her.

So what was holding him back?

Something with blonde hair, blue eyes and the biggest brain that he had ever though possible. Okay, so he was probably never going to see her again, and even if he did, he had a daughter now. But, despite all of that, Jack missed Carter…..a lot.

Too much.

The rational part of his brain-which was small at the best of times- kept telling him to forget about her. Even if he did see her again, and the chances were slim, then the regulations were probably still the same.

He had a wife and daughter now.

But, not matter how many times he told himself this, his heart didn't want to listen.

And Jack wasn't sure he wanted it to.

~*+*~

No one moved.

Janet considered the possibility of a hallucination…..but all of them could see her…..maybe it was a joint hallucination? Maybe it was a contagious for of Urgo?

Hammond couldn't take his eyes off her. Was he dreaming? Did she look that bad when he last saw her?

James stared, because everyone else was.

Jacob-and Selmak-let their mouth fall open at the sight of her. She was far too thin, her hair was greasy, but a lot longer than he remembered-reaching her shoulders- dark circles were present under her eyes, and their normally lively blue depths were clouded.

But……they were happy, her eyes practically screamed success.

Where had she been?

Sam looked back and forth between all of the occupants of the room. Were they that surprised to see her? Had they though that she wouldn't return?

Not bloody likely.

At least, not while Jack was on the other side of the Galaxy.

"Say something." She begged, hating the silence and the wide-eyed stares that she was receiving.

"You've lost weight."

"Janet, it's good to see you haven't changed." She smiled a little.

"It's good to see you ma'am. I trust you enjoyed the soup?" James was somewhat at a loss of what to say.

"It was nice. I recommend the vegetable soup."

"How was Mark?"

"Dad I think we both know that I wasn't at Mark's."

She waited, and wasn't disappointed. Hammond was next. "Then where in blue blazer's have you been Major?"

Sam cringed.

Ooh, he was angry. "In my Lab sir, but you already figured that out. To be honest, I was surprised that it took you guys so long." She shrugged. If they were going to court-martial her for this-which was very possible- why not add insubordination to the charges?

"And what did you think you were doing in there?" He demanded.

"Working on the particle beam generator sir." She replied. "Oh, by the way it's finished. And it's perfect, just like I said it would be."

"How did you survive?" Janet asked, shell shocked.

"I'm military Janet, you know that we could survive in virtually any conditions if we had to. And besides, I had luxuries."

"Luxuries? What kind of luxuries?"

Ooh, so Janet was mad too.

"The basics. Plus I had a radio, I kept up to date with the news. I had clean clothes, toilet, fridge."

"You have a fridge in your lab?"

"Dad, I can build a particle beam accelerator-two actually-you don't think I can install a fridge in my own lab?" She deadpanned.

"This behavior is unacceptable Major."

"Yes sir, I understand that. But I would appreciate it if you try the generator and let us go through the Stargate to Edorra and rescue Colonel O'Neill." She asked.

Hammond's eyes flared in anger. "What makes you think that I am going to let you anywhere near that Stargate again Major?"

"Sir!" He eyes widened. "Please sir, you have to. He needs our help. I spent a year and a half working on this, please don't let it all be a waste."

"Doctor Fraiser?" He asked.

"Yes sir. I think we should…..given what we talked about earlier."

Hammond got the message. If Sam really was obsessed with getting him home, then God only knew what she'd do if they said no.

"Very well. You are to go straight to the infirmary for a physical. We'll try the generator but if it doesn't work then we are abandoning this project. Understood?"

"Yes sir." She smiled.

Sam and Janet left and headed to the infirmary, James followed, needing to get back to a pot of Alfredo he had on the stove.

Jacob shook his head. "That's not my little girl."

"What are you saying?"

"Oh don't get me wrong, it *is* her, but it isn't. Did that make any sense?"

Hammond sighed. "I know exactly what you're saying."

~*+*~

Janet didn't say anything during the physical. Apart from `open your mouth and say Ahh' and `step on the scales.' Not a word was spoken between the two.

Sam suspected that her friend was hurt that she hadn't trusted her enough to tell her where she was going, but other people's feeling had been the last thing on her mind when she had headed for her lab.

The physical was fairly quick. Blood samples were taken, Sam's glands were checked. She was weighed. At least Janet was happy with that. She was poked and prodded and finally allowed to leave and go to the locker room for a real shower.

After all, quick washes from a basin were nothing compared to a hot shower.

Sam left quietly, promising to be careful on the mission to Eddora and Janet picked up the phone when she left.

"Hammond."

"Sir, it's Doctor Fraiser, I've just finished giving Major Carter her physical."

"And?"

"I can't find any reason not to let her go through the Stargate sir."

"Admittedly, I was hoping you would."

"So was I sir. When she gets back, I'll have no choice to send her to Doctor Mackenzie for a full psychological evaluation. Until then, Teal'c and Daniel are just going to have to keep an eye on her."

"She won't be happy about being sent to see a psychiatrist."

"I've already told her sir, it's one of the conditions that I let her go through the Stargate."

"Very nice work Doctor. Where is she now?'

"I sent her for a hot shower, then she'll no doubt be in the control room with Siler while they set up the device."

"Thank you for the update Doctor."

"Your welcome sir."

Janet hung up the phone and went back to pack up her equipment.

~*+*~

News of Major Carter's return to the base spread quickly.

No one really knew where she went. There were rumors-as there always were-but none of them had come close to the truth. James didn't enlighten any of the gossiping airmen…..he had no idea where he would be stationed if Hammond found out that he told everyone on base where Carter had really been.

Scrubbing toilets with his tooth brush was not on his `to do' list, so he stayed quiet.

The few people that had seen her had commented on her appearance. Everyone noticed how thin she was, but they'd also heard that she was going through the Stargate later that day, and Fraiser wouldn't let her through if there was a problem, unless she was in on it.

Those speculations were spreading quickly as well.

~*+*~

Laira sighed.

She was never going to get this place clean.

Jack had told her that on Earth they had a similar tradition to the one she was doing now. It was called `Spring cleaning.' Laira had thought that it was a strange name, but she didn't comment.

The front door opened and Jack strode in, Beth in his arms. "Honey, I'm home!" He called.

That was another thing. He used that phrase, but she still wasn't quite sure if it was something from Earth or if her was just strange.

Probably both, knowing him.

"I am in the bed room!" She called back and heard him walking through the house.

Jack stopped at the doorway, and saw the contents of the basket that Laira was closely examining. "What are you doing with that stuff?" He asked.

"I just…..I though that you may not need these things anymore?"

"Well, hang on a minute, some of that stuff's pretty good. The jacket….."

"Does it remind you of Earth?" She asked gently.

Jack's eyes softened. "Toss it."

"Are you certain? If you wish to keep these things then I….."

"Get rid of it. I have Beth now." Jack shrugged. "And you." He added as an afterthought.

"I will take them to the river." She stood and picked up the basket, walking out of the house and down towards the river at a leisurely pace.

Jack watched her go with a lump in his throat.

~*+*~

Sam sat in her usual chair, which was comforting.

Siler was down at the `Gate, making sure that the generator was fully functional. Hammond was behind her, watching everything with a close eye. Teal'c was suited up and ready to go at her word. Daniel was sitting next to her and Janet was no doubt lingering at the back of the room.

Reaching over, Sam grasped the microphone. "Okay, everyone out of the `Gate room now. We don't want a repeat of last time." She called and the `Gate room was quickly vacated as she dialed Edorra.

The wormhole established and the particle beam generator sprang to life instantaneously, shooting a light blue beam into the wormhole.

Hammond leaned a little closer to the glass, watching. "Are we sure that this is going to work?" He asked.

Sam sighed, why was everyone doubting her?

"Yes sir. But the important thing will be maintain the beam for as long as possible and re-establish connection with Edorra as soon as possible."

Hammond nodded, he had faith in her, despite what she'd done.

~*+*~

Laira took the long route towards the river, and it was almost an hour before she reached it. The walk was nice, it was a pleasant day and she could feel a light breeze blowing through the trees. She knelt down on the bank and set the basket in front of her.

She pulled out the jacket first, and held it open, looking at it. She wasn't so sure that Jack wanted to get rid of this stuff, but he'd agreed, so that must mean that he was finally accepting his place among her people.

In time, she was confident, he would come to think of himself as one of them.

Spotting the radio, Laira pulled it off the jacket. Major Carter had shown her how they worked, and she was just as fascinated with the device now that she had been when she'd first seen it.

Turning the button that she knew would turn it on, she turned it over and studied the device.

"15 seconds to shut down." A voice told her through the device.

Laira nearly dropped the object in the water out of surprise when the voice came through. Was she going crazy? Was there someone from Earth on her world? What was happening?

"5 seconds to shut down…..3…..2…..1." The voice stopped.

Not knowing what to do, she turned the device off and tucked it into her pockets and rose. She contemplating throwing the rest of Jack's things away, but decided against it, leaving the basket of stuff by the river, she ran home.

~*+*~

Teal'c continued to thrust his pick upwards, desperately attempting to reach the surface. He'd been here for almost four hours exactly, and he knew that his oxygen tank was becoming dangerously low, despite his symbiot's attempts to slow his breathing.

He wasn't sure that he could survive much longer.

~*+*~

Jack sat on his chair, feeding Beth something that he guessed was pretty close to mashed pumpkin and potato. It had to be a vegetable, because she made a sickly face with every mouthful.

Laira sat quietly at the other end of the table, silent. "You okay?" He asked.

She looked at him, unsure of his response. Surely he wouldn't leave her and Beth if it really was someone coming through the Stargate?

Taking a deep breath, Laira stood and walked to stand in front of him, her hand snaking into the hidden pocket of her dress. "When I was taking your things to the river this morning, I thought I heard a sound come from this." She handed him the radio. "Perhaps a voice." She admitted.

Jack took the radio and slowly stood. A voice…..Home…..Carter. "Watch Beth." He ordered, running out to the shed to grab a shovel.

Garran saw him and also picked up a shovel, even though he had no idea what it was for. "I will help you." He offered.

Jack stopped for a moment and looked at the boy…..young man. "Thanks." He nodded curtly and the two ran to the area where the Stargate once was.

Jack was on his radio as they came down the hill. "This is Colonel Jack O'Neill, can anyone hear me?"

"O'Neill, it is I."

"Teal'c!" He cried. "Where are you?"

"Attempting to reach the surface. It is most difficult. Little oxygen remains." That was about as close to saying he needed help Jack had ever heard his friend.

"I got you on the RDF. I'm right on top of you!" He called and he and Garran began digging frantically.

Something in his peripheral vision caught Jack's eye and he turned to see Laira watching them, Beth gurgling happily in her arms. Jack felt a pang of guilt, knowing that she'd realised that Edorra wasn't where he wanted to be.

He felt vibrations from under the ground and returned to his digging. A hold was quickly formed and he could see his friend suspended over the horizontal Stargate and he couldn't help but smile. "Teal'c you are one stubborn son of a bitch!" He laughed.

He and Garran helped pull the big man out.

~*+*~

Sam waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Teal'c should have run out of oxygen by now. She truly hoped that he was on the other side of the Stargate, on the surface and having a cold drink with Jack.

So, until the heard anything, she waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

And nearly fell off her chair as the Stargate sprung to life.

"Call Hammond!" She ordered to whoever was closer.

The chevrons were locked in and the iris slid shut. Sam watched while the computer tried to scan the code coming through.

*Code recognized: SG-1*

"Yes." She whispered to herself, smiling.

"SGC this is Teal'c."

"Come in Teal'c, we read you."

"It is safe for you to come through the Stargate major Carter. The people of this world are most anxious to be reunited with their lost ones."

"I'll bring them through ASAP."

"Very well."

"Is Colonel O'Neill there?" She unconsciously held her breath as she waited anxiously for his reply.

"He is."

And he didn't want to talk to her? She was slightly hurt, but covered it quickly. "See you soon."

The Stargate disengaged and Sam stood, turning to face Hammond. "Permission to go through the Stargate and retrieve Colonel O'Neill sir?"

"Granted. Go and inform the Edorrans. They're on level 16." She nodded and went to move away, but his hand on her arm stopped her. "Bring him home Major."

"With pleasure sir."

~*+*~

Jack had had a lot of hopes for the day.

He'd hoped that none of the Edorrans had died while they were on Earth. He'd hoped that he could get through this with a small amount of mess. And he'd hoped that his heart wouldn't do a little back flip when he saw Carter again.

All of his hopes had flown out of the widow when he'd seen her leading the villagers down the well-traveled path leading to the Stargate.

Two of the natives had died, but only of old age. And his heart had done several back flips when he saw her.

"Sir!" She called, jogging the last of the way to stand in front of her.

"Her Carter." He grinned, unsure what to say.

"Are you okay?" She asked, studying him carefully. She hoped that Teal'c hadn't told him how hard she'd worked to get home.

"Yeah. You?"

"I'm good."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

"Yeah." So, the conversation wasn't exactly flowing.

"Hammond's looking forward to seeing you. And dad sends his best. He said he'd come back in a few weeks when you've settled back in. Did you know that Daniel and Janet were dating? Well, of course not. But they are, Cassie's thrilled, but she misses you and….."

"Stop." He pleaded, holding his hand up.

"Sir?"

"I'll come back with you, but I won't be staying."

"Excuse me?"

"I have a life here."

"I don't care. I have orders to bring you home."

"I don't care."

"You *will* be coming back with me Colonel."

"Need I remind you who the senior officer here is *Major?* I will not leave my family."

Family? Oh God….. "You have to come back."

"No. I am staying here with my wife and child."

Sam sighed and pulled out her Zat, shooting him once. "No, you are coming back."

~*+*~

Daniel could see Sam and Jack talking quietly. And, judging by the look on Jack's face, it wasn't a pleasant conversation.

He glanced back towards the last of the returning Edorrans, making sure that they were still coming. Their path was being slightly impeded by loved ones coming to hug their lost friends and family, but everyone was coming at their own pace.

He turned back to Sam and Jack just in time to see her shoot him with her Zat, watching helplessly as he slumped to the ground unconscious.

"Sam!" He called, horrified.

Teal'c followed him and they ran over to their friends.

"Daniel?" She asked, calmly.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Following my orders." She replied absently. "Teal'c, pick him up and carry him back to the Stargate. We're going home."

"Sam…..?"

"Quiet Daniel, we're leaving." She snapped and Teal'c did as ordered.

Sam walked over to Laira, who was holding a crying child in her arms. "I'll send another team through to make sure that everything's alright here. And they can collect Colonel O'Neill's things."

"He is leaving?" Laira asked, trying to shush the child.

"He's coming home."

"This is his home now."

"No, it never was and it never could be. He wasn't happy here Laira, you must know that."

"He said he was happy."

"He lied."

"But….he loves Beth, he loves me."

"He may love the kid, but he'd never love you." She snapped. "Don't bother following us or you'll leave your child an orphan. Goodbye."

Laira stood at the entrance of her home and silently cried as Sam walked away, following her friends.

~*+*~

Daniel punched in the glyphs for Earth and Sam sent the GDO code as soon as the Stargate was activated. Jack still hadn't stirred and Teal'c silently carried his weight.

"Follow me through." She ordered, stepping into the event horizon.

Sam stepped out on the other side and Daniel followed. Hammond was waiting at the base of the ramp and Teal'c, carrying Jack, stepped through. Sam smiled at her commanding officer.

"Congratulations Major, you've brought him home." He smiled.

"Thank you sir." Sam smiled, and slumped to the ground.

"Medic!" Daniel called, frantically feeling Sam's neck for a pulse.

The fluttering under his fingers was a very welcome one.

Teal'c set Jack to his feet as the other man began to stir. "Thanks T." He grinned, rubbing his pounding head. "What happened?" He asked

"Major Carter shot you with a Zat'nicha'tel while we were on Edorra."

"She did *what?*" He spun around to bawl her out and saw the blonde lying on the ground. "Carter?"

Three Medic's arrived with a gurney, Janet not far behind. "Get her on there. I want her in the infirmary now! Organize an ultrasound, CT scan, MRI and full blood work!" She ordered, running out of the `Gate room behind the gurney.

Hammond watched as Daniel and Teal'c followed the party out of the room before turning to Jack. "Colonel, welcome home."

"Thank you sir. Um…..what just happened?"

"Come with me son, we have a long debriefing ahead of us."

~*+*~

Sam's eyes fluttered open, and quickly closed against the blinding fluorescent lighting of the infirmary.

"You're awake." Janet smiled.

"Yeah. What happened?" She asked, looking at the worried eyes of her friend.

"You passed out."

"I gathered that from the bump on my head. Where did it happen?"

"The `Gate room."

"That explains the bump."

"How are you feeling."

"Tired, hungry. Really hungry."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Three days ago. I ran out of supplies in my lab and didn't want to come out until I had worked out a way to tell you all where I'd been. I can't believe I locked myself in there for four months! That's so not like me. God, Janet, what did I do?"

"You don't remember?"

"No, I remember, but I can't remember what compelled me to do what I did. Shit Janet, I shot the Colonel with a Zat gun! I lied to everyone, I was absolutely horrible to Laira. Why did I do all of that?"

Janet placed a gentle hand on Sam's arm. "Relax Sam, it wasn't your fault."

"What do you mean it wasn't my fault? I did those things Janet, it was me."

"No, it was the drug in your system."

"Drug?" Sam repeated, confused. "What drug?"

"I'm not sure yet, but there was a drug in your system. At best guess it had been there for about a year."

"A year? But, then I must have contracted it off-world. I haven't been off base in over a year."

"No, it's a drug with Earth based elements in there."

Sam sat up on the bed and stared at her friend. "How do you know that?"

"Because it has Shilatria in it. I wasn't sure exactly what the drug was made of so I got your lab assistant, Carl, nice guy by the way, to analyze it for me. He recognized the element."

"Shilatria? Isn't that the element with an atomic mass of three hundred? Doctor Fredric Shilat invented it a while ago."

"That's what Carl tells me."

"Someone put that in my system? To do what?"

Janet shook her head. "That, I can't answer you."

"Are you sure it's out?" She asked.

"Yes. I noticed it when the blood work that I took from you before you left came back. You were off world so I had to wait until you got back. You've been out for almost a day, and the blood tests that I did yesterday came back normal."

"I wonder why it's gone."

"Maybe it run it's course." Janet shrugged, wishing she had the answers that Sam wanted.

"But what was it supposed to do in the first place?"

Janet truly wished that she could answer that question.

~*+*~

"Hey Jack." Daniel greeted, pulling up a chair across from his friend. "Wanna take your feet off the table, I brought Jell-O and beer."

"How`d you get beer on the base?" Jack asked, impressed.

"I learned from the best."

Jack opened the bottle and took a long swallow, savoring the familiar taste. "That is good." He sighed. "The stuff that they had on Edorra was lethal. Like Vodka, Sambucca, Scotch and Tequila all mixed together, and twice as strong."

Daniel winced. "Sounds nasty."

"It was."

"You miss it?"

Jack raised an eyebrow and lowered the bottle from his lips. "The lethal drink?"

"Edorra."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"You and Laira seemed…..close."

"We got married." Jack admitted.

"You what?"

"Married."

"Um……congratulations, I guess."

"I don't love her Daniel, we got married so that the Elder's wouldn't exile me or something, so stop looking at me like that."

"Looking at you like what?"

"Like I'm betraying someone by being married."

"You are."

"She and I weren't together. Should I remind you of the regulations?"

"You don't have to, she says the same thing every time I mentioned it too. Can't you come up with a new excuse?"

"It's not an excuse Daniel, it's a fact and a way of life. A way of life, I might add, that we both chose a long time ago."

"If you say so."

"I do, and besides I have other things in my life now."

"Like…..?"

"A daughter. A wife."

"A wife you don't love."

"No, I don't love her but she gave me Beth, and for that I will be forever grateful."

Daniel nodded, accepting his words. "Did you hear about Sam?"

"That she locked herself up in that damn lab for four months? Yeah, Hammond told me. I knew she'd find a way."

"That's it? Have you even thanked her?"

"Not yet. She's kinda been out of it since I got home."

"Jack she's been awake for two days. Been out of the infirmary since yesterday."

"No one told me that."

"I guess everyone figured that you already knew."

"Maybe."

"Are you going to go back to her?"

"Beth, yes. Laira, no."

"You think Laira will let you just have Beth and not her? It seems to me like they're a package deal."

"Maybe." Jack sighed. "I'm going to and hit the bag in the gym for a while. I'll catch up with you later." Downing the rest of his beer, Jack left and headed for the gym.

~*+*~

Sam hit it again.

She was getting no where with this.

For all of her adult life, beating the hell out of a punching bag had always relieved her frustration. No such luck now. She was probably just out of shape.

Even though she wouldn't admit it, Janet was right. She had lost a lost of weight. For a Doctor, you'd think that Janet knew to check a patient's pockets before she weighed them.

Okay, so the metal in the pockets trick was an old one but it was working. And until Sam put on some weight and got back into shape, she was just going to have to keep using that one.

Old or not.

"Your right hook's getting a little slack there Carter."

Oh God, how was she supposed to face him after what she'd done. "Sir." She acknowledged, returning her attention to the bag.

"Want me to hold that thing for you?" He asked, gesturing towards the bag.

"I'm sure you have better things to be doing as opposed to holding a bag for….."

"I don't." He cut in.

"Knock yourself out." She shrugged.

Jack stood behind the bag and held it in the appropriate position while Sam continued to hit. "Who is it?"

In the middle of throwing her right hook, Sam stopped and looked up, her arm still raised. "Who is what?"

"The bag. I only ever beat it that hard if I'm imagining it's someone. Who is it for you at the moment?"

"No one interesting."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

The puppy dog eyes don't work, try another tactic. "I'll order you." He teased, his tone light.

She finally hit the bag with enough force to knock the wind out of Jack's lungs. "Me."

"You're imagining that you're hitting yourself?"

"Well, I could do it for real but this is so much more stimulating and it hurts a lot less." She shrugged. "What does it matter anyway?"

"Why would you want to hit yourself?"

"It's metaphorical."

"Why would you want to metaphorically hit yourself then?"

Sam threw a hard left and gave a small, satisfied grin. "Because I should have got you home sooner." She replied quietly.

"Not your fault Carter. Don't blame yourself, that's an order."

"Are you going back there?"

"I have to…..for Beth."

"Tell Laira that I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked, being pushed back a little by the force of her high kick to the bag.

"I said some things to her. Things that I shouldn't have said."

"Like?"

"It doesn't matter, just tell her I'm sorry."

"Thank you for everything you did."

"You're going back, you didn't want to come home. Why should you be thanking me?"

"Because I knew that you could do it. No matter how much of a life I built there, I knew that you'd get me back eventually."

"That's not the point. You still didn't want to come back."

"Yes I did."

"But you're leaving."

"I wanted to come back to see how everything on this end was going."

"Well, we're all fine. So have fun playing happy families with Laira."

"I don't love her."

"That's." High kick. "Not." Right hook. "The." Left. "Point."

"Then what is?"

"You're leaving us."

"I have a daughter Sam, I can't walk away from Beth."

"And we wouldn't expect you to…..but that's not the point."

"Then what is?"

"It doesn't matter." She muttered, throwing her gloves off and leaving the gym.

Jack stood there, holding the bag for what seemed like an eternity, trying to work out exactly what she'd meant by that. Shaking his head, he turned and decided that a hot shower would make him feel better, and hopefully clear his head enough to work out what Carter had meant.

It felt like he'd never left the base at all. He remembered every corridor, hadn't gotten lost since he'd been back. And he felt…..at home. Which was more than he could say for Edorra he mused as he reached the locker room.

The men's sign was up so he walked in…..only to find Carter standing clad in only black underwear, drying her hair with a towel. He watched her for a moment, shocked by what he saw, until his brain kicked in and over ruled his hormonal desire not to alert her to his presence.

"You didn't change the sign."

Sam squealed and hurriedly covered herself with the towel. "Well you could have called before you came in here!"

"Drop the towel."

Her eyes widened. "*Excuse* me?

"Drop it."

That was an order, she could tell by the tone.

Reluctantly, Sam let the towel fall to the ground. She knew why he was doing this, but she'd hoped that no one would see it for themselves. "I though Janet said you were a good weight?"

"I am."

"I can see your ribs Carter."

Sarcasm practically dripped off her words. "Take your shirt off, I'm sure I could see yours too."

"No, because I'm a little more than skin and bone."

"I'm not skin and bone Colonel."

Jack looked her up and down.

She was.

"Yes, you are." If her bones were sticking out any further than she wouldn't need the skin at all.

"I lost a little, not much." She protested.

"I think you lost a lot more than a little."

"And you've seen me naked before?"

"No, but fatigues don't hide much."

Sam bit her lip from saying anything. Moving to her locker, she pulled out a clean set of fatigues and pulled them on. "Well, you've been gone for a year and a half. A lot's happened since then."

"I realised that would happen. But finding that my second in command looks anorexic was not one of the possibilities that I thought of."

"I'm not anorexic!" She snapped.

"You look it."

Sam slammed her locker shut and picked up her towel. "Look, why don't you just go back to your perfect world out there and leave us here so we can all moved on. I got you home, I achieved my goal I……oh my God."

"What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head, hurriedly threw on her fatigues and left for the infirmary.

~*+*~

Janet stared at Sam's chart. Something wasn't adding up. According to her tests, the drug would have made Sam loose a significant amount of weight, but she was normal.

"Janet!" Sam called, running over to her friend. "I figured it out!"

"Figured what out?" Janet asked.

"What the drug was supposed to do."

"You did?"

"You said that I was acting like I was obsessed with getting the Colonel home, right?"

"How do you know I said that?"

"I was outside Hammond's door while you were having the conversation. Anyway, you said that right?"

"Yes. It's true, you were acting like you were obsessed."

"And the obsession started about a year ago, right?"

"Yes."

"And I passed out when the Colonel came out of the Stargate and back onto Earth, because I had achieved my goal of getting him home. It was all I thought about for four months, and then it was done and I passed out. When I woke up, the drug had completely left my system."

Janet's eyes lit up. "It made you obsessed with finding the Colonel!"

Sam clicked her fingers. "Exactly." She grinned.

"I noticed that one of the side effects from this drug should have been a significant amount of weight loss, but you….." Janet stopped as Sam unbuttoned her shirt and showed her friend the top half of her body. "My god." She breathed, how had she missed that in the physical's? "But…..but your weight is normal! I checked, several times."

"I had led in my pocket." Sam admitted.

"You what?"

Buttoning up her shirt, she averted her eyes from the other woman. "I had some melted lead that came off the first accelerator. I knew what weight I should be, so I measured enough lead to bring me back up to that."

"Sam!" Janet scolded.

"I know, but that was before that I knew I was on this drug."

"We'll talk about that later. I still don't know why someone would want the Colonel back badly enough to slip you something that powerful."

"Maybe that wasn't the intention."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe the drug was supposed to make me obsessed with whatever project that next came up and it just so happened that getting the Colonel home was what I was working on at the time. But why would someone do that?"

"I don't know."

Janet's phone rang and she quickly moved to answer it. "Fraiser."

"Doctor, General Hammond had requested that you and Major Carter come to the briefing room immediately."

"Thank you, we're on out way." She hung up and turned to Sam. "Hammond wants us."

~*+*~

Jack stepped back onto Edorra to find Laira, Garran and Beth waiting for them. He smiled and walked down the stairs to hug Laira, shake Garran's hand and pick Beth up. "You're getting bigger every day." He smiled and the little girl, who grinned back.

"She has been unsettled since you departed." Laira told him. "I am glad you have returned to your people."

Jack sighed. "Laira, you know that the Edorrans aren't my people. I am grateful to you for all you've done, but I can't stay here."

"What about your daughter?"

"You could return to Earth with me?"

Garran discreetly moved away from the two, but neither noticed. "My place is here, they may not be your people but they are mine and I cannot leave them."

"I didn't think so."

"May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you feel love for me?"

"Laira…..you gave me Beth, and I love you for that."

"But you are in love with another, are you not?"

"I'm sorry."

"Do not be. For I am the same way."

"You're in love with someone else?"

"You sound hurt."

"Not hurt, surprised."

"I do love you Jack, but I am in love with another."

"Who?"

Laira hesitated before answering. "Paynen."

"Paynen? Does he feel the same about you?"

"Yes." She nodded.

Jack though back to that night with Jaylan under the stars. *I know this will sound horrible, but if he wont leave you, then why are you so upset?*

*Because she carries his child within her.*

"Beth isn't mine." He whispered, holding the child close as she began to cry, sensing her fathers…..Jack's distress.

"I did not mean to deceive you Jack, but the council would have exiled you if I had not."

"Answer me dammnit!"

"She is not."

"Shh Beth, don't cry sweetie." He cooed softly to the child he had though of as his, and now wished she was.

"She wants her father."

"Could you rub any more salt into the wound please?"

"I do not understand that statement Jack."

"Why didn't you just tell me? I knew that I didn't love you. If you had told me from the start then I wouldn't have gotten so attached to her."

"Had I told you then it would have been difficult to fool the council. They watched us. It was only when they saw that I was with child did they believe that you and I were truly in love."

"I can't believe this…..I can act when I have to Laira! You should have told me."

"I did not wish to make things more difficult for you."

"If I hadn't been rescued, would you have ever told me?"

Laira looked down at her hands. "I would not."

"You would have lied to me?"

"You would never have known."

"So why tell me now?"

"You love another and you deserve to be with her. I do not wish you tied to my world because you believed Beth to be yours."

"Oh it was all for me." He sneered.

"No Jack. I did this for myself as well. I did this for Beth. I knew that she would not be accepted if the council knew that she was conceived in the circumstances that she was."

"That night…..the night we slept together, did you plan that?"

"Yes. I already knew that she was within me. I needed you to believe it too."

Jack sighed. "I love you sweetie, if you ever need me I'll always be around." He told Beth, kissing her forehead before handing her back to Laira.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

~*+*~

"Major, doctor, have a seat." Hammond pointed to two of the chairs. Sam took the one opposite Major Coulburn of SG-3, and Janet was next to Daniel. Jack was no where to be found, but Sam suspected that he was already on Edorra starting his new life.

"Major Coulburn."

"Yes sir. We `Gated to P887B6 and were greeted by the leader of the local village, Mallory. She said that it was a great honor to accept visitors from our would again."

"'Again?'" Sam frowned. "We've never `Gated to that planet before." She told them.

"I know." Coulburn nodded. "She invited us back to their village to meet the people. Then she asked us how the `Ontaria' was."

"That's Latin, or something close to it, and it means obsession." Daniel added.

"We though so. She said that four men from our would had come through the Stargate many, many moons ago and they had traded. The men had given her village a sidearm in exchange for some of the drug. We didn't realise it until later, but we figured that it must have been the NID that went there and traded."

"So they had a drug that did what…..?" Janet asked.

"Apparently it was for focus. If a project was needed to be completed and the people working on it were unable to do so, then they would take the drug and think of nothing else until their project was completed." Coulburn told them, looking at Sam in particular.

"Were there any side effects?" Janet asked.

"None, apparently."

"It must be the Shilatria that causes the weight loss." She theorized.

Hammond raised an eyebrow in question. "Doctor?"

"Major Carter has lost a significant amount of weight and body fat. The drug we found in her system had traces of a man made element called Shilatria. That must be the reason for the side effects."

"I though you said that she was a healthy weight?" Hammond asked, a deep frown on his face.

Sam saved Janet from having to rat her out. "I had led in my pockets sir. I knew that Janet wouldn't let me through the Stargate when she saw how much weight I'd lost, so I put lead in my pockets."

"Major….."

"I was under the influence of the Ontaria sir, you can't hold me accountable for that, I was trying to complete my project."

The frown stayed firmly on his face. "I see your point." He conceded.

"Thank you." She smiled, breathing a sigh of relief.

"So, now that we know why you were acting the way you were, how do we find out where it came from?" He asked.

"I believe that it came from within the SGC General Hammond. For Major Carter has not left this base in a long time." Teal'c answered.

"That's a lot of people as suspects." Hammond sighed.

The Stargate spun to life, and everyone went their separate ways. Hammond and SG-1 went to the control room in time to see Jack returning, a lost look on his face.

~*+*~

She picked up the phone and dialed the correct number.

Three rings and he answered. "Yes?"

"It's me." She whispered.

"Why are you calling me. I told you that we were to have no contact." He snapped, angry.

"They've figured it out."

"What?"

"Carter knows about the drug."

"How?"

"SG-1 went back to the planet, and the natives told them."

"Crap."

"That's what I thought."

"Thank you for informing me."

"What do I do now?"

"Hope that they don't discover that it was you who administered the drug."

"And if they do?" She held her breath as she waited for the answer to come.

"Then if you name me or anyone from my organization, we will deny everything."

Her tone was incredulous, even to her own ears. "You're going to let me hang for this?"

"Only if they discover it."

The phone went dead.

~*+*~

"Jack?" Daniel asked, looking at his friend.

"What?" he snapped, looking up from his intense study of the locker room floor.

"You okay?"

"Fine." He lied.

He couldn't believe that Laira would do that to him. She was supposed to be the mother of his child…..a child that wasn't even his. If she'd told him, then it would have been better. Not okay, but better. She wouldn't have needed to lie constantly, and he wouldn't have become so smitten with the child.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming back to say goodbye."

"I'm staying here."

"Things not going well between you and Laira?" He asked, sitting down beside him to join in the study of the floor.

"You could say that."

"I thought that you didn't love her?"

"I don't, never did. But you knew that already."

"Yes, but I though you would have gone back for Beth."

"She isn't mine."

"What?"

"Laira is in love with Paynen, and Beth is his daughter, not mine."

"God. She lied?"

"That she did."

"Why did she come clean now then?"

"She said that it was because she could see that I was in love with someone else. She said that she just wanted me to be happy."

"She's right."

"What do you mean?"

"You are in love with someone else."

Jack hated it when Daniel was right. "It won't change anything. She hates me at the moment."

"Why would S…..she hate you?"

"Because she thinks that I don't care about her."

"Have you told her otherwise?"

"No."

"Don't you think you should?"

"No." Jack sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. "But I suppose you do, right?"

"Yes."

"Why? It doesn't change our situation."

"She's been through a lot."

"She's the one that locked herself in a lab for months."

Suddenly, it dawned on Daniel why he was acting so nonchalant about the whole situation with Sam. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Come on, let's go out and get a beer. This is a long story."

Jack shrugged and followed, figuring that this was a story he wanted to hear.

~*+*~

Jack had, surprisingly, remained silent throughout Daniel's explanation of Sam's behavior. Daniel suspected that his friend was completely shocked by the news. But that shock quickly turned to anger.

"I'll kill the rat bastard that did this to her." He sneered.

"Jack, we don't know who did this. We don't even know if they were monitoring Sam's condition."

"I don't care. I'll find them."

"Where are you going to start looking?"

Jack hated it when Daniel was right. "The SGC. It had to be someone from there, but who would do such a thing?"

"I don't know." He sighed.

Swallowing the rest of his beer, Jack hung his head. "I should have known something was up when I saw her in the locker room."

"What about it?"

"She's so thin Daniel, it's almost sickening."

"I wouldn't tell her that's what you think."

"I already did." Jack at least had the decency to look sheepish, even if it was only slightly.

"No wonder she didn't look happy to see you when you came back through the Stargate."

Jack shrugged, if he hadn't been so involved in his own problems, maybe he could have seen something in her behavior on Edorra that would have clued him in on the fact that she was under the influence of…..something.

"I swear to God Daniel, I'm going to find the bastard responsible for this and I'm going to kill them."

"How are you going to do that?" Daniel asked, fearing that he might be considering something rash.…..and very Jack like.

Jack thought back to a conversation that he'd had with Hammond the previous day, and the offer that had been made. "I have a plan."

~*+*~

"Sir." Jack greeted, walking into Hammond's office without knocking.

George looked up from his report from Janet on Sam's condition and gestured for Jack to have a seat. "What can I do for you?"

"I thought about our discussion yesterday." He told the older man. Their conversation had taken place in a park near the SGC, trying to avoid any bugs that may have been planted within the base.

"And?"

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes sir.

"You do realise what you'll have to do, don't you son?"

Jack took a deep breath. "I understand sir, and I think you know why I have to do this."

"I thought so. I'll contact the people and you can proceed with your mission as planned tomorrow."

"Yes sir." Jack stood and walked over to the door.

"Good luck Jack."

"Thank you, I think I'll need it."

~*+*~

Sam laid curled up in a ball on the infirmary gurney. Janet had let her go on the last mission to Tollana, under the General's request, but now she was to be kept in the infirmary for observation, on a drip that would-hopefully-help her put on more weight.

Admittedly, she was tired, but her brain refused to allow her the pleasure of a few blissful hours of sleep. Jack had come back from Edorra, claiming that he was going to split his time between SG-1 and his daughter, but stay Earth based for the most part. Now he was gone, back to Edorra to be with Laira.

He had been forced into early retirement after stealing from the Tollan.

She couldn't believe that he could possibly be that stupid. Sure, the Tollan weren't willing to share their technology-and were quite arrogant about the fact that they were more advanced- but there was still a lot they could learn from them, even Teal'c could clearly see that. And she thought that Jack had as well.

Apparently not.

What was worse, he had been a complete ass to them all. Daniel had worn the brunt of it, Jack had said that they hadn't had much of a friendship to start with, but what he'd said to her had really cut her. *I haven't been acting like myself since I met you, now I'm acting like myself.*

Eventually, she cried herself to sleep.

~*+*~

Jack wandered through the facility, familiarizing himself with the corridors. It was-surprise, surprise-set up a lot like the SGC. Maybe Maybourne liked the Earth base a little more than he was letting on.

He found the living quarters easily enough, and the locker room was pretty close to his room. The commissary-if you could call it that- was a few corridors away from the barracks, and was small, but fed all of the personnel easily.

He saw Tobias and Newman heading his way, so Jack ducked behind one of the pillars and listened to their conversation as they passed. It was nothing interesting-something about the anti-gravitational device- but he had a feeling that they were involved in whatever had happened to Sam.

And there was not a chance in hell that he was leaving until he discovered who was behind all of this.

~*+*~

"On the scales." Janet ordered.

Sam sighed. "Janet, I feel great. I've been eating properly, exercising-but not too much-and I've been getting enough sleep."

"On the scales."

"But….."

"Now!"

Groaning, Sam reluctantly did as she was told. Janet stepped up behind her and began to pat down all of her pockets. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for led."

"You won't find any."

Janet picked up her chart and wrote down Sam's weight. "I had to make sure."

"And…..?"

"You're not putting anything on."

"But I….."

"Am worried sick about Jack, and completely jealous of Laira, and thus not putting on weight?" Janet supplied.

Sam's shoulders visibly slumped as she stepped off the scales and put her boots back on. "Maybe." She admitted.

"It's not doing you any good Sam."

"I know, he made his own bed, but I can't help but think that something is wron….."

"What?" Janet asked as Sam began to sway.

"Dizzy." She muttered, falling backwards onto the floor.

~*+*~

"Have we heard anything about Carter?" Tobias asked, absently pushing her food around the plate.

Newman took a mouthful of water before replying. "Last I heard she passed out, but Maybourne's reports have become less frequent. He's worried that someone will suspect him."

"Do you think they know?"

"Apparently SG-3 are the one's that tipped Hammond off about the Ontaria. I don't think they know that we added the Shilatria."

Jack decided that now would be a good time to join the conversation. "Yes they do."

Newman and Tobias automatically rose to their feet as a mark of respect as Jack sat down at their table. "At ease." He waved his hand in their direction.

"Sir? What do you mean they know?" Tobias asked.

"Well, Fraiser found the drug in Carter's system and had some lab geek test it. They know about the element."

"Do they know who gave it to her?"

Jack shrugged, trying to look uninterested. "No."

"Good. She hasn't been discovered." Newman muttered.

"She?" Jack repeated.

"I don't know exactly who it is sir, but I know it's one of the female nurses." He answered.

"How did they administer it?"

"One of her pre-mission shots, I think. Why do you ask sir?"

"It's been bugging me. The whole damn SGC is talking about it, and I've been itching to know." He admitted with a shrug.

"Curiosity." Newman nodded in understanding.

"Why Carter anyway?" Jack asked, picking at his Jell-O. Of all the Earth based foods that he had expected here, Jell-O wasn't one of them.

Not that he was complaining.

"Because they could monitor her more easily. Maybourne wanted to test the drug on someone that was expendable to him." Tobias explained.

Jack could hardly believe how easy this was. "Why did they want to test it? Is it going to be used for some sort of wide spread application?"

"The plan was to create a army of soldiers who had one goal, to kill the Goa'uld. And the drug would keep them focused on that task until it was completed." He replied.

"Didn't they know about the weight loss?"

"That was the point of testing it on Carter, they'd find out what the side effects were."

"Oh."

Oh, indeed.

~*+*~

The Stargate had engaged a few minutes earlier and a sea of people were crowded into the `Gate room, all being arrested. Jack had handcuffed Makepeace-oh the irony of that name-and was currently accepting the thanks from High Chancellor Travelle.

"You have once again regained our trust." She smiled, kissing him on each cheek.

Jack nodded and looked around the room, searching for one person in particular. Daniel noticed and turned to the man standing at the base of the Stargate's ramp.

"She's in the infirmary." He told him curtly, leaving the room. Daniel wasn't quite ready to forgive Jack for the stuff that he had said at his house, not to mention the stuff that he'd said to Sam.

Turning to Hammond, who nodded his ascent, Jack headed out of the `Gate room, passed all of the people who were scowling at him and into the corridor, walking quickly towards the elevator.

A few of the airmen that he passed gave him strange looks, obviously they hadn't heard that it was all an act to catch the mole. It wouldn't take long for the news to spread.

The infirmary was hardly quiet. Nurses were running around like mad, tending to their patients. Every time Jack saw one of them inject something into an injured man or woman, he couldn't help but wonder what was really in the syringes they were using.

"Charge the paddles to one hundred!" Janet shouted. "Clear!"

Jack saw her administer an electric shock to her patient. He moved to the side a little and saw Sam lying on the gurney, the heart monitor flat-lining with an ear piercing sound.

"No change." Jenny told her.

"Two hundred!" She shouted. "Clear!" The charge went through Sam's limp body again and the flat-line turned into a weak heart rate.

"We have a pulse!" Jenny told her.

"Keep an eye on her vitals, I don't know how long it'll stay that way." Janet ordered, turning around to see Jack standing there. "What are *you* doing here." She sneered.

"I work here. What's the go with Carter?" He asked.

"I'm sorry Colonel O'Neill, but I can't discuss that with you." She replied icily.

"Janet cut the crap. I care about her and I want to know why you just had to revive her." He snapped, in no mood to play these kinds of games at the moment. Fraiser obviously hadn't heard yet either.

"She's in withdrawal."

"From the drug?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me any more?"

"No."

"One word answers? It that how you want to play this?"

"Yes."

"Janet, it was all a lie."

"What?"

Jack briefly explained the reasons behind his departure-as well as the fact that when he went back to Edorra, he didn't even go to the village let alone see Laira-and watched as she reddened slightly.

"Sorry about that then."

"No sweat. Is Sam going to be okay?" He asked, his voice low.

"I don't know sir. I wish I could answer that, but it's up to her body. If she had a bit more body fat on her, then her immune system would have something to fight with. But at this point, all we can do is hope."

"How about you give me my post mission physical?"

"Wouldn't you prefer one of the more gentle nurse?"

Jack didn't think she needed to hear about his latest discovery concerning her nurses just yet. "Yes, but jabbing an needle into my ass will make you feel better."

"True."

~*+*~

Janet looked tired, really tired. The other people seated around the briefing room table matched her weary face.

"Doctor? What's Major Carter's condition?"

Shaking her head grimly, Janet sighed. "I don't think that she's going to make it sir, her immune system was so weakened by the weight loss that it can't fight the withdrawals from the drug."

"Can't we call the Tok'ra and get Jacob to use the healing device?" Jack asked quietly.

Mentally, Janet kicked herself. Why hadn't she thought of that? "It could work, sir, and it's worth a try." She told Hammond.

"Agreed. Teal'c get down to the control room and tell them to dial up the Tok'ra home world. Colonel, a word in my office please."

"Yes sir." He nodded, and everyone departed.

~*+*~

Jack waited anxiously for Hammond to speak. He wasn't disappointed. "Jack, I wanted to thank you for what you did."

"I did my job sir." Jack defended. He didn't want to be thanked for being an ass to his friends.

Hammond offered the younger man a sad smile. "I know that this is hard for you, but hopefully the Tok'ra will be able to help Major Carter."

"Sam should never have been put in this situation in the first place."

"You'll get no arguments from me on that one."

Jack idly fiddled with a pen that he'd picked up from the briefing room. "I didn't want to say anything in front of the Doc, she's got enough on her plate. But I found out that it was one of the nurses who gave Carter the drug."

Hammond's mouth opened and shut for a few moments before he gained enough composure to speak. "All of those nurses are highly trained professionals, hand picked by the best."

"Everyone has their price sir. And Maybourne has a lot of money at his disposal."

Suddenly, Hammond had a monster of a headache. "How do we find out who?"

"Doesn't the infirmary keep a record of every shot given to a patient, as well as who administered it?"

"Yes."

"Well, we should check the records and see who gave Carter the last shot before she started working on the generator, that should be our perp."

"Check the records." Hammond ordered.

~*+*~

Sam curled herself into a ball on the bed.

Her father was somewhere out in the living room, no doubt trying to find something to do. He had come through the Stargate the day before and used the healing device on her. Colonel O'Neill was, apparently, very close to finding out exactly who it was that had given her the drug.

While Jack investigated what had happened, Sam had been sent home to rest, with strict instructions that she was not be left alone, her father had volunteered to, for want of a better word, `baby-sit' her.

And, when it wasn't thoughtful, caring and unusually sweet, the `mother hen' act that he was using towards her was beginning to drive her nuts.

Every five minute's he would be knocking on her door asking her if she needed anything to eat or drink, or even once he had asked if she wanted her pillow fluffed to make it more comfortable for her.

Very un-like the father that she'd known all her life.

To be honest, all Sam wanted was to be left alone so she could curl up in a ball and cry for a while. The emotional release would make her feel better, if only for a short time.

She glanced at the clock, almost midnight. No doubt her father would be in soon to check on her yet again.

Never one to disappoint, Sam heard the sound of her door creaking open and she closed her eyes, feigning sleep in the hopes that he would just leave her alone.

"I know you're awake."

"Though you might."

"Mind if I come in?"

Sam shrugged, she wasn't in the mood for one of his botched attempts at a deep and meaningful conversation.

"Want to talk?"

"No."

"Good, I'll go first." He grinned and sat on the unoccupied side of her bed.

"Great." She rolled over to face him. If he was going to try to get her to open up-and, undoubtedly he was-then she may as well get it over with as soon as possible.

"When's your first session with the doc?"

"Which one?"

"Mackenzie."

"Oh. Him. In a few days, I think. I wasn't really listening."

"Sam, it's for your own good, you know that don't you? They are only trying to help you get through this."

"By making me sit in a room and blubber like a baby about something that doesn't actually bother me?"

"You were obsessed with getting O'Neill home, surely that has to take it's toll. And look at you!" He gestured at her body, waving his arms madly.

"Dad, I love you, but shut up!" She snapped.

Jacob couldn't help but sigh. "You need to talk to someone."

"And it wont be you." She replied, turning over to face away from him.

Obviously he wasn't welcome at the moment, so Jacob decided to make a hasty retreat and left the room. He closed her door and stood outside of it for a moment, listening to the sobs that floated through the wood.

~*+*~

Jack felt like the biggest ass in the world.

Seriously, *the* biggest.

Watching Janet's face fall as he told her that Jenny, he head nurse and good friend, was currently being arrested by the SF's for drugging Sam was not something he had planned on doing today.

Janet wasn't sure what to think.

She trusted Jenny, they had gone to medical school together and while they hadn't exactly been the best of friends, they had always been on good terms. Not even stopping to think for a second, the Doctor walked briskly out of her office and stood in that path of three SF's who were currently escorting her head nurse out of the infirmary.

"Why?" She demanded.

Jenny didn't even flinch at the harsh tone. "Because I was ordered to. And it was necessary."

"Necessary? Do you realise what you did to Major Carter? Did you even stop to think, for just *one* second what the ramifications of your actions would be?"

The other woman shrugged nonchalantly. "Not really."

"How could you do this to another human being?"

"I was defending my country, in my own way. The drug could have help us defeat the Goa'uld."

"Your way of defending this planet was to *save* lives, not destroy them."

"Doesn't it ever get to you, the amount of people that we treat, the amount of people that we loose? I don't know about you, but I don't like seeing good men and women die, and by testing that drug, I could have helped stop the death."

"No you couldn't."

"What makes you say that?"

"Do you even know what the drug was designed for?"

"Yes…..to create an obsession on one task that would end when the task was completed."

"No. Daniel and Teal'c went back to P887B6 and talked to the natives. That drug, the `Ontaria' was a weight loss drug."

"But it worked on the obsession, didn't it?"

"That was a die effect that the natives hadn't expected, so they changed it's purpose. But whenever the drug had run it's course, the weight loss became to much for their bodies to bare and they wasted away."

"No…..Maybourne said that-"

"Do you think he's never lied to get what he wants before?" Janet deadpanned.

The realization of what Jenny had done finally hit her and her eyes welled with tears of disgust. "My God."

"Get her out of here." Janet ordered.

~*+*~

Sam tentatively stepped out of her bedroom, wary of her father after the way she had spoken to him the previous night. She figured that he'd probably be cooking up a breakfast fit to feed a cast of thousands for her, but she was surprised to see that he was on the phone.

"No, she's still asleep…..I don't know, she wont talk to me and I don't expect her to anytime soon…..yeah,. well I wouldn't hold my breath waiting if I was you…..she was pretty upset last night…..yeah, I don't think she's too thrilled about it either. Is Mackenzie really *that* bad? Well, if I were a friend of Doctor Jackson's then I'd react that way to the man as well…..what should I make her for breakfast? Any doctor's orders on a healthy start to the day…..what do you mean I should know what she likes? The last time I made her breakfast it was fruit loops and a glass of flavored milk." He chuckled to-she assumed-Doctor Fraiser. "Okay, thanks, bye."

She waited until he'd replaced the handset on her charger before Sam announced her presence. "How's Janet?"

"Sam! You're awake. Janet's okay."

"Good."

"They found out who gave you the drug."

"Who?" Sam tensed despite herself, waiting anxiously for the answer.

"Jenny Harrow."

"Isn't she one of the nurses?"

Jacob nodded. "Head nurse, if you want to get technical."

"But….aren't the nurses supposed to be highly trained professionals. They have to go through a number of physiological evaluations before they can get into the SGC to prevent this kind of situation. How did this happen?"

"She thought that she was doing the right thing."

"How much?"

Jacob's brow creased in confusion. "How much what?"

"How much was she getting paid to screw me over like this?"

"Five million, give or take a few thousand."

"Nice to know that I'm worth at least that much." She joked dryly, her body trembling.

Reaching out just in time, Jacob Carter barely caught his daughter as she slumped face first towards the ground.

~*+*~

Janet checked Sam's vitals again.

Much to his annoyance, Jacob had brought her in earlier in the morning, still unconscious but before she could inform him of Sam's condition, he had been called back to the Tok'ra, who urgently needed Selmak's advice on a problem one of their operatives was having.

Jack had been asked nicely-okay, kicked out-of the infirmary several hours ago. While Janet was trying to give Sam a once-over he had been getting in the way, unintentionally of course, but it was distracting.

She had very little doubt that he'd crept in to check on Sam several times throughout the day, but thus far he hadn't been caught. At least, not by her.

"Janet?" Sam mumbled, somewhere in that blissful place that rests between sleep and wake.

"You're awake." Janet smiled. "Do you know where you are?"

"Infirmary."

"Yes. Do you remember what happened?"

"Dad was on the phone to you. He told me that Jenny was the one to give me the drug, and then I just blacked out."

Janet's jaw involuntarily tightened at the mention of her former head nurse. "Yeah, he was pretty worried about you. We all were."

"I'm okay."

"No not yet, but I think you will be."

~*+*~

Much as Sam hated to admit it, the sessions with Mackenzie were helping her….and when he told her that essentially `getting back onto the horse' would be good for her, she had forced herself to go back into her lab.

It was a lot different than the last time she had been back, nearly a month ago. Someone had, thankfully, cleaned it up and there was absolutely no sign that she had lived there for six months.

That was probably what had kept her out of there more than anything else. The evidence that she had virtually lost the plot would have been a little too much for her fragile emotions to deal with.

But now, she was back at work. Sleeping regularly, going on missions and eating properly…..much to Janet's delight, and-probably best of all-she hadn't fainted or blacked out once since she'd been released from the infirmary. The other three members of SG-1 had taken to being her emotional rock. They put up with the remaining mood swings that still haunted her, and the sudden crying fits.

Jack, most of all, seemed to be trying to help her through this. Despite the fact that she told him several times, he felt a large amount of guilt over her situation. Like, somehow, if he hadn't helped Garran she wouldn't be in the situation that had been haunting her. He'd been taking her to Hockey games, having frequent pizza and video nights-many with just the two of them-and lately he had taken to being her sleeping partner.

They weren't *sleeping* sleeping together. At least, not yet. But there was something about the night that bothered her now…..she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but the darkness only served to remind her of what she had been like before.

And that was not a person that Sam Carter wanted to remember.

To anyone that knew her, Samantha Carter seemed to be normal again. She still laughed at her commanding officer's jokes-and lately, at his loud snoring-she still bit her bottom lip in frustration or concentration. She still argued with Daniel over theories on the Stargate and she still worked too hard. She still tried to help Teal'c adapt to new things about Earth that continued to confuse him. She still had regular girl's night's with Janet, and lately Jack seemed to be the central topic. She still acted like the person she was before, only now there was more brightness in her day.

And she thanked Jack O'Neill for that.

~*+*~

The end.




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