The Anger by Alli Snow

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Story Notes: Title: The Anger

Author: Alli (alli@ecis.com)

Rating: PG/PG-13

Category: Future story, SJR, angst

Archive: SJA and Heliopolis

The Andromeda Series
1. The Assignment
2. The Aide
3. The Afterglow
4. The Arising
5. The Allusion
6. The Attack
7. The Accident
8. The Anger

* * * * *

|| Samantha Carter ||

Almost three months later, I woke one morning, sat up in bed, and realized that I hated Jack O'Neill.

The reasons were elusive but the feeling was there in all its hideousness. It was a revelation I'd been putting off for some time, passing it off as PMS or good old fashioned annoyance. The horrible truth, though, was that I hated him.

My stomach turned when he entered the room. When he spoke, I had to struggle to keep my face neutral. I wanted to leave, to get out of his sight and get him out of mine as well. Simply put, I no longer wanted anything to do with him.

I laid back down in bed, turned over on my side, and cried a few tears for a friendship that had so brutally met it's end. Then I got up and went to work.

What made it easier was that he felt the same way towards me; I could tell. He avoided me when he could, and when he couldn't, he argued with me. Oh, did he argue. Before, he had always seemed to acknowledge that many of my strong suits were his weaknesses, that there were things I understood that he couldn't begin to comprehend. I'd never boasted about that, never felt any unreasonable pride, but I had appreciated the fact that he'd always appeared to trust me implicitly. Now... that was all gone. He would refuse to concede a point, leaving it up to me to either look like the bad guy or give in, even though I knew I was right. Missions were difficult to get through, though duty and obligation to our base and country made things a bit easier to bear. Off-times were impossible, because that was when the rage and animosity showed themselves, uninhibited by regulations or even common decency.

Sometimes I was overwhelmed by the sheer guilt, that I hadn't fought longer, harder, to repair our relationship, a friendship that had been more important to me than I had ever let myself believe. But the truth of the matter is that, deep down in my heart, I knew that there would be no repair, no reconstruction, no way to patch up what had somehow happened.

Never once did I think of blaming P2C-260 for our troubles. My hunch that it had been a lab proved correct, but our scientists had little to no luck figuring out how the technology worked or what it did. The only things actually discovered were the off-switch for the beam-chamber and a couple more of those engraved tablets. As far as I knew, as far as I cared, the place was blameless.

And I had bigger things to worry about.

* * * * *

|| Daniel Jackson ||

It was one of the most awful things I'd ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

We pretended not to notice, even Jadae, pawning it off on something trivial, something insignificant that would work itself out in due time, as these things always seemed to. I told myself countless times that it must have sprung from something one of them had said while they were alone, exploring the planet and finally stumbling across the Gou'ald lab. Perhaps they had gotten into an argument, a disagreement that neither on of them was willing to relinquish. It had happened before, I reasoned. This was nothing to get worried about; it was nothing more dire than a simple quarrel

So quickly I seemed to forget that the monstrous storm on P2C-260 had begun with only a few dismal clouds.

In my own defense, it began subtly. For the first few weeks, there was the faint undercurrent of tension between my friends, a vague sense that one wasn't exactly pleased with the other. It became only slightly more apparent in the coming months that they weren't talking at ALL off duty, were totally and completely avoiding each other, and on missions they were curt and abrupt, letting the most necessary of interactions pass between them, but nothing else.

It wasn't until the beginning of the summer months that I started to get truly concerned, and for that I place all the blame on myself. They were my friends, I should have noticed, no matter how caught up I was in my appreciation of Jadae's beauty or my distaste of Warren's attitude. The only excuse I can provide is that I wanted things to stay the same. I resented both the Captain and the Tok'ra to varying degrees, and I was willing to overlook whatever was happening with Sam and Jack in favor of pretending that nothing had changed. That nothing was going to change.

But things changed.

I'll never forget the night we spent at my house - all of us, even Jadae - celebrating the Fourth of July. Teal'c had advised, wisely, against inviting both Jack and Sam, but I couldn't very well ask one and not the other, could I?

I'll never forget how they started yelling at each other over something stupid, something inconsequential... something I don't even remember. How the argument escalated until Warren and Jadae left with red faces and downcast eyes. How I was afraid of real damage being done to either my friends or my kitchen. How, when Sam left, she left with real tears in her eyes and on her cheeks.

I'd never in all my life been as disgusted with anyone as I had been with Jack that night.

I don't know why he didn't ask to have her transferred. I don't know why she didn't request to be placed on another team. I don't know why I didn't take the initiative and say something, why I, along with the others, contributed it hiding the dissolution of our team from General Hammond's watchful eyes. He knew something was up as well, but he just chose not to comment on it.

Of that, we're all blameworthy.

* * * * *

|| Jack O'Neill ||

In my life, I had seen a lot of death.

When you get right down to it, look past the honor and the splendor, that's what the army is about. Oh, it's about freedom, and protection, and veneration of your country as well, but in order to protect that freedom, that veneration, it always seems that someone or something has to die. I'd done a lot of protecting in my life. I'd seen a lot of death.

But without a doubt the most horrible casualty I'd ever witnessed was my relationship with Sam Carter.

All of a sudden, I despised her. I couldn't look at the woman without sneering. What a loudmouth. What a showoff. What a...

I tried to put it off, tried to look at her like I always had, tried to see the beautiful smile and charming wit. And beauty... that was never the problem. Never once did I lose sight of her physical attractiveness, and not a week went by that I didn't entertain some dream or fantasy about the two of us in another world, another life, where the enmity that existed between us had never come to be.

She knew that, too. And she hated it.

It disturbed Tony. It confused Jadae. It hurt Daniel and it angered Teal'c, and the despicable thing was that I didn't care. I was so wrapped up in my loathing for Sam Carter that the rest of the world ceased to exist.

The rest of the universe did not.

The Gou'ald, for once, had the most perfect timing imaginable.

I don't know why I never went to Hammond about getting Carter a team of her own; all arguments aside, she deserved one. It was some kind of sick fascination, I think. I detested being around Sam, but at the same time, she was the only person I wanted to be with. Torture, pure and simple and inflicted by my own hand. A fuse had been lit and by our doing we were consciously building the tension, putting more coal on the fire, doing everything we could to reach critical mass.

The day we succeeded is not a day I like recalling, but my propensity for self-torment is there as well. It's one of my clearest memories.

* * * * *

|| Janet Frasier ||

All I can remember thinking is:

Their luck has run out.

* * * * *

|| Teal'c ||

As his relationship with Sam Carter deteriorated, O'Neill pushed me away.

It is true he pushed all of us away, but I felt it especially keenly. My friendship with him was different than his relations with any other member of his team or, indeed, his species. I'd always been able to communicate with him on a different level, a different wavelength, than the others. And I'd always been able to reach him, to some extent.

But so deeply did he mourn for the death of his connection with Sam that he isolated himself from the rest of us, from any help that could have been offered. Rejecting the idea of conversation, of counseling, of any kind of intervention, he withdrew into his anger. It hurt all of us, rubbing against the very foundation of SG-1 AND the SGC until it seemed thin and flimsy. Their hostility exhausted all of us, even those who weren't immediately privy to it. Yet at the same time, we were stuck. Trapped in the situation and fully and completely as we had ever been imprisoned in any snare of Apophis. No way to return to how things had been. No where to go from where we now found ourselves. No escape.

Only there was.

* * * * *

|| Samantha Carter ||

"Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It depends on how you look at it," answered Martouf. His eyes shone, not with alien light, but with excitement and hope. "I prefer to see it as the former."

"That's because it isn't your planet," pointed out O'Neill sardonically. "We had trouble getting rid of TWO of those big suckers, if you'd remember. And now you're saying... what? Fifteen of them? Jesus!"

"Sixteen," corrected Martouf calmly.

"Whatever." O'Neill leaned across the table. "With die respect, how the FUCK are we going to manage that?"

Martouf looked at me and gave a secret smile, one that I was forced to return. "The battle you speak of happened many years ago. And at the time, you did not have our help."

"I was under the impression that the Tok'ra weren't all that interested in helping us out. Something about not expecting you to save us?"

"Jack," Daniel admonished before looking back at the Tok'ra. "Just... let me get this straight. Sixteen Gou'ald motherships are headed HERE. They are going to BE here in about six months."

"That's correct."

Daniel leaned back in his chair and let out a great sigh. "Okay, so far, I'm agreeing with Jack. This is a bad thing."

Jadae cocked her head at him. "It is not impossible."

"Now she's the optimist," cracked Warren. "So when the hell did Apophis and all his little Gou'ald buddies decided to sit down and smoke the peace pipe? Last I heard they were too busy fighting amongst themselves to worry about us at the moment."

"That moment has passed," said Martouf gravely. "The System Lords have in fact come to the conclusion that at this time, the Tau'ri are the real threat. While they would like to do nothing more than declare war on one another and fight until the end of time, they realize that such hostilities would provide you with the opportunity to discover the means to destroy them all."

"Damn right," muttered O'Neill. I rolled my eyes.

"They're postponing their war to take care of us first?" clarified Hammond. "I think I'm almost flattered," he added dryly. "What does the Council suggest?"

"A joint operation between our two peoples," said the Tok'ra, smiling broadly. "Jadae," he continued, nodding at the woman, "convinced the Council quite spectacularly that you can be trusted with the necessary intelligence, and that you have grown a great deal since our initial meeting. They feel that you are sufficiently wise and honorable."

"Was that ever in question?" I couldn't help but ask.

Again, Martouf looked at me and smiled brilliantly. "Not in my mind, Samantha," he avowed. "But the Council did harbor some doubts. For the most part, they have proved groundless."

I tried not to notice as Jadae made a big show of looking at me, then the Colonel, and then back to me again. She had been present for too many of our shouting matches, and I was utterly thankful that she hadn't mentioned the discord to the Tok'ra High Council; it just might have hampered further relations. It had always been difficult to tell exactly what they placed value on when it came to allies.

"Well, for the most part, I'm glad to hear that," replied Hammond. "What kind of operation did you have in mind?"

"If you will allow Jadae to contact the Council, I believe Garshaw would like to outline the plan to you herself."

Hammond nodded, dismissing us. Shooting a baleful glare first at Martouf and then at me, O'Neill followed the General and Jadae.

Sighing, I also moved in that direction, feeling that I should be there as well. Martouf's hand on my arm, however, made me pause, and his voice caused me to stop in my tracks.

"Samantha..."

"What is it?"

He hesitated, bright blue eyes flickering to Daniel and Teal'c, and he didn't speak until they had rather reluctantly exited the room. "There is something that I would like to discuss with you."

"All right."

"In private," he emphasized.

"Ah." I glanced around at the empty chairs; obviously this wasn't private enough. "Um, okay... this way..."

* * * * *

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