The hammering was an unwanted intrusion into a private world of grief, torment, and subdued rage.
"JACK!!!!"
Oh great, now Daniel had somehow managed to get through the door - Jack was sure he had locked it - and was standing over him, yelling at him, shaking his shoulders. Couldn't he see Jack just wanted him to go away?
"Come on... JACK!!!! I swear, if Hammond finds you like this..."
Jack O'Neill looked up at Daniel Jackson myopically through an alcoholic haze. "Huh?"
Daniel grimaced at the state of his friend and shoved a large mug of steaming black coffee into Jack's hands. "Here, drink this." he ordered brusquely. "You're going to need it if you're going to get through the next few hours."
Jack stared at the mug as if it would tell him all its secrets. It didn't hold any promise of a brief respite from the memories though. He reached out for the almost empty bottle that had been sitting on his desk, but Daniel had whisked it away, his only comment on its lack of contents being a raised eyebrow.
"Why? What's goin' to happen?" asked Jack miserably, sniffing the coffee and taking a small sip. Disgusting.
Daniel stared at him in shock. "You don't remember?" At the blank stare he received in return, Daniel shook his head in consternation. "Jack... it's Sam's memorial service."
The grief suddenly threatened to overwhelm Jack again. How could he have forgotten? The mug shook in his hands, threatening to spill over. Daniel, seeing the potential disaster, carefully took the mug away from Jack, setting it down on the desk.
"Jack," he told his friend. "You can't go on like this, you're a nervous wreck."
"Why not?" demanded Jack grouchily, fumbling in one of the desk drawers and throwing back a couple of aspirin, trying to offset the headache that seemed to be building.
"Because it'll get you fired." Daniel pointed out.
"Who wants this fucking job, anyway?" Jack mumbled.
"You do." said Daniel, then paused. "Or at least you used to."
"That was before."
Daniel sat back in his chair, folding his arms. "Do you honestly think Sam would have wanted to see you here in your office, drunk, and Janet, Teal'c and I trying desperately to hide it from the higher-ups?"
Jack didn't respond, just stared into the depths of his mug.
"Jack..." Daniel sighed and took his glasses off, "At least attend Sam's memorial service. You owe her that much." He put his glasses back on. "Then I don't care if you go and throw yourself in front of an opening Gate."
The venom in Daniel's tone startled Jack, and he looked up into the face of a very angry man. "Alright," he said after a moment. "But I hope you have something stronger than this." he held up the mug.
"Actually, I have just the thing."
**
The Gateroom was almost too full to allow everyone who wanted to attend the ceremony to do so. As it was, there was an overflow of people who stood in the Briefing and Control rooms, people trying not to jostle each other trying to see, respectful of the occasion. Jack should have probably been surprised at the sheer number of people who had came, but somehow he wasn't. Maybe it was just because he felt to numb inside.
He had a feeling it wasn't going away anytime soon.
He wished that Jacob Carter could have been there for the ceremony, but he had been needed by the Tok'ra, and had not remained long after Jack had informed him of his daughter's death.
He hadn't wanted to be the one to tell Jacob, not by a long shot, but he felt obliged, and he felt that Sam would have wanted the news to come from him. So he had been the one standing at the bottom of the ramp, waiting for the Tok'ra to arrive through the Gate.
Jacob had arrived and almost immediately to sense the mood of not only Jack, but the other personnel in the Gate and Control rooms. The reasonably cheerful expression on his face faded and he looked solemnly at Jack.
"Colonel? What is it?" There was a pause as Jacob glanced around, looking for the one person that would have normally been there to meet him. "Where's Sam?"
Jack turned and glanced at Hammond, who stood in the control room, looking down on the proceedings somberly. "I think," he said, turning back to Jacob. "That we should go somewhere slightly more private."
Jacob said nothing, merely nodded and allowed Jack to lead him away.
Jack did have an office. As a colonel, leader of SG-1, who had more reports and forms to fill out (usually injury reports, considering his team), Hammond had figured he needed it, even if it was only a closet somewhere to stow the work. As such, Jack rarely went in there, only to fill in those reports. But right now, his office had privacy, and that was what was needed.
Jacob took in the disorganised room, and seemed tempted to make a comment on Jack's cleaning skills, but instead just looking at his daughter's commanding officer intensely.
"Where's Sam?"
Jack gestured to one of two chairs in the room, lowering himself into the other one. "Jacob..." He hesitated as the Tok'ra seemed to still and almost appeared to be a statue. "There's no easy way to say this... Sam... passed on about a week ago." He was using euphemisms? He must have been more unnerved than he realised.
There was a sudden and almost heart-rending silence.
"How?" Jacob asked after the silent moment had stretched on for nearly a full minute.
Jack laced his fingers as he began to speak. "We were caught by Jaffa on our way back to the Stargate on P9L214. There'd been no sign of Goa'uld activity, so they took us by surprise. Daniel had just managed to dial out, and we thought it was just a matter of jumping through the Gate. Sam started to rise, but she was caught in the chest by a staff weapon blast. She died instantly." At least, that was what he hoped had happened. He had wanted to go back and get her, or at least make sure she was dead, alive, whatever... but Teal'c had grabbed him and forced him through the Gate.
Jacob's head, sometime in his retelling of events, had lowered for a moment, and he now brought his gaze up to reveal glowing eyes. Jack tried not to jump. He would never get used to that.
"I grieve with you for your loss," Selmak said simply, genuine grief colouring her voice, affected by her host's distress. "As I grieve with Jacob."
"I'm sorry-" Jack started to say, but was cut off by the Tok'ra.
"You must not blame yourself." Selmak told him, in a commanding tone, one that was used to being obeyed. "It was not your fault the Goa'uld killed her. I have no doubt you did your best to save her."
*But I didn't...* he wanted to say, but instead said, "She was my captain, I was her superior officer, I had a duty-"
"Selmak's right." Jacob again, his voice hoarse and laced with grief. "/Don't/ blame yourself." He paused and took a deep breath. "I know Sam wouldn't have wanted you to."
Jack had barely managed to get through another few sentences and make a civil exit, disappearing and finding some solace in that drunken haze Daniel had later found him in.
Jack wasn't entirely sure that he was altogether revived from his drinking binge, in spite of Daniel's Abydonian 'killer cure'. It tasted disgusting, but it had provided him with enough lucidity for him to attend the service.
Damned linguist.
Everyone looked so solemn. Graham Simmons looked like he was going to cry. Teal'c looked the same as always. Jack was dead inside.
"I'd like to ask Colonel O'Neill to give the eulogy."
The words jolted him out of his numb haze. He glanced up at Hammond, who was gazing sympathetically at him, then Jack nodded and headed towards the podium, barely aware of the fact that he was moving.
"I met Samantha Carter," he began, feeling the need to clear his throat, but somehow knew that would be inappropriate. "When she first joined SG-1. I wasn't very impressed with her, because she was a scientist." He paused, and glanced at the small pieces of paper with the eulogy written on it. It was a habitual action, the same way one will look at their watch, even though they know what the time is. He'd spent so much time staring at his eulogy he could have said it backward.
"It didn't take me long to overcome that rather... short-sighted assessment. Sam helped save her team-mates, even this planet, more than once. I can't think of anyone else I would have rather have had as my second in command. She was someone that could be relied upon, could be trusted. Everyone at the SGC knew her as a colleague, and as a friend.
"Samantha Carter was a soldier, a scientist, and I..." Jack hesitated, the next words caught in his throat.
*I wish she were still here?*
*I wish I had died in her place?*
*I loved her?*
"I consider myself proud to have been her friend."
Janet Frasier stepped forward, holding the wreath in her hand; as another military officer who had been Sam's friend, she had asked to partcipate in this. Her eyes had a haunted look, and she appeared drawn, as if from a lack of sleep. Jack didn't notice this, as he stepped down, only fell into step alongside the Doctor. He didn't even notice the sympathetic glance from Hammond, as if to say, 'I know what you wanted to say, and I'm sorry'.
Sam was gone. What else mattered?
**
One thousand, five hundred and sixty four...
*drip*
One thousand, five hundred and sixty five...
*drip*
One thousand, five hundred and sixty six...
//You're going crazy, Sam...//
Samantha Carter giggled to herself at that thought. The little inner voice who was her only companion.
//Probably, but at least I realise it.//
*drip*
One thousand, five hundred and sixty seven...
How long had she been there? Stuck in a cold, dark cell where the dripping of the water was her only companion. Long enough to think that counting the drops as they splattered against the stone floor was the best entertainment known to man... or woman... she thought with another giggle. No men around.
*drip, drip, drop*
//Ooh, three drops at once... so much fun, so interesting...//
//You really need a hobbie, Sam. Ever thought of stamp-collecting?//
The clomping of boots gave away the approach of the guards long before they came anywhere near her door. They couldn't sneak up on someone who was blind and deaf, buried six feet underground. Which pretty accurately described Sam's current condition.
//Oh damn, they made me lose count.//
*drip*
One...
"You! Get up!"
Were they talking to her? She supposed that they must be, considering that there was no one else in the pitch black cell but her, unless someone had been keeping /really/ quiet. Sam tried to comply with the snapped instruction, but her legs refused to co-operate, and she felt the rough hands of the guards as they hauled her to something approaching a standing position and dragged her out of the room into too-bright daylight.
Sam squinted and tried to take in all the colours around her, which hurt her dark-adapted light. For some reason, the pain caused by the light seemed to jog her memory somewhat.
She remembered being injured, being shot at, being captured, then being locked in that cellar for... how long? And why couldn't she remember anything else?
She was hauled into a large throne room and dumped on the floor, where she lay, weak and unprotesting of her rough treatment. Opening her eyes a tad - they didn't seem to hurt as much any more - she could see a gold attired figure looking down at her from where she stood over her. She tilted her head.
"Has anyone told you that gold really isn't your colour?"
The woman's face was stony for a moment, then she laughed out loud, a creepy distorted laugh. Sam tried to match a name to the face, but could only think of the letter A. Anna?
//Ammunet...// Her little inner voice advised her. Hmm... maybe she ought to name that voice.
"What have you done to me?" she managed to choke out. "I can't remember much..."
"The Tau'ri mind is so fragile." Ammunet told her, matter of factly. "It does not take much effort to simply... distort its perceptions, its memories."
She suddenly switched tacts, moving to one side of the room. "You are aware of the healing abilities of the sarcophagus, are you not?"
Ammunet was making conversation? "Yes..."
"What do you think would happen if an acid was placed within the sarcophagus, along with an individual, and then the sarcophagus activated?"
Sam swallowed, her mouth dry, and pushed herself up into a sitting position, only to be hauled to her feet. "The 'individual' would be in constant pain, the sarcophagus healing as fast as the damage was being done."
"I see you understand. Good." Ammunet held out her left hand, a red tendril reaching out to touch the Captain's forehead, Sam felt her control of her body weakening.
"Give us the codes that will lower the barrier protecting the Tau'ri..." she hissed venomously.
//Now would be a good time to do something!//
A very good idea. Sam thrust a hand upwards and knocked Ammunet aside, then spun and kicked with weakened muscles at one of the Jaffa to her side. He was so surprised that he actually went down, and she snatched the staff weapon he held, hitting the other Jaffa in the face with it.
She spun, firing several shots at some of the Jaffa around the room, some of them actually connecting - a minor miracle considering she could barely see - and she bolted for the door.
Ammunet shouted something at her which she took to be the Goa'uld equivalent of 'stop!', but she just kept running for the door, the impact of the ribbon device's wave of energy barely missing her as she turned the corner of the room.
She gripped the staff weapon, leaning against it for a moment, trying to catch her breath, but could hear Apophis and more serpent guards approaching. She held onto the only weapon she had and bolted as fast as she could down the corridor.
To be truthful, she had no idea where she was heading, and didn't actually realise what she was looking for until she found it, hidden in a large room filled with heiroglyphs - the Stargate for this planet.
Sam ran up to the DHD, and then stopped. Which symbols did she need to press? She could remember one, but only that one, and that she needed the point of origin, different on all gates. But which were the other five symbols and in which order? She knew where she wanted to go, but how did she get there?
Sam shook like a leaf for a few seconds, before the slamming of boots on the floor brought her forcibly back to reality. In a frenzy of panic, she whacked seven symbols with such force that she was certain she almost cracked them, and then the large raised button in the centre.
The vortex had barely settled back into the event horizon when Sam, who had taken a running jump, threw herself into the wormhole, and to wherever the gate might take her.
**
Sam hit the hard stone surface of her destination with sufficient force to crack her skull against it and leave her dazed. She almost didn't hear the wormhole shutting down, without any pursuers joining her. She lay there for a long time, lacking any energy with which to move, with which to do more than just close her eyes and let her consciousness drift. She didn't quiet sleep, but then she wasn't quiet awake either.
By the time she had come back to herself fully, it was deep into the planet's nighttime. The Stargate was positioned in a stand of trees, and through the leaves above her, she could see unfamiliar stars and constellations.
This wasn't the SGC, this wasn't a friendly planet, this wasn't anywhere she wanted to be. And she had no idea where she was.
Sam Carter closed her eyes and began to cry silently.
**
The door to Hammond's office, being flimsy, had a tendency to shake a little whenever someone knocked on it. It was a result of the budget cuts, Hammond was sure: replace all bulbs with fluorescant, and make the doors out of plywood.
Glancing at Colonel O'Neill, where he sat looking morose in one chair, and Daniel Jackson, who sat looking nervous in another, Hammond raised his head and called out, "Enter!"
Daniel followed the General's gaze as the door opened to allow a woman in an olive-green jumpsuit to enter. She was slightly shorter than Daniel, with short, cropped black hair, obviously tinged a purplish-red. Her eyes were brown and her skin was tanned from the time spent on alien planets. In short, she was phsyically as dissimilar from Sam as she could be.
"Colonel O'Neill," said Hammond, making the introductions, "This is Major Amy Kaide, formerly of SG-8."
Kaide turned to Jack and Daniel immediately noticed the woman sizing up the man who was going to be her new CO, and knew that Jack was doing the same.
"A pleasure, sir," she said curteously, extending her hand.
There was a long pause when, for a moment, Daniel thought that Jack was going to let her stand there until she lowered her hand because he wasn't responding, but then he reached forward and gave her hand a brisk shake.
"Likewise, Major." he said neutrally.
Hammond had considered not chosing a replacement for Carter, but after over a month of SG-1 functioning as a three man unit, he had decided to introduce another member, making up the numbers of the group once more.
"Major Kaide, I assume you know why you've been asked here?" said Hammond after a moment, when O'Neill said nothing further.
"I have a pretty good idea, sir." she said in a neutral tone of voice. She was trying hard to avoid any eye contact with O'Neill. The resentment in the room was almost palpable.
"Captain Carter will be missed, Major, and Colonel Hennly of SG8 was very praising. SG1 is a different unit, however, and I expect you to be able to adapt, appropriately."
"Yes, sir." responded Kaide evenly.
O'Neill stared at her. "She'll do." he said slowly, as if giving the matter a great deal of thought.
From the expression on Kaide's face, it was clear that she didn't know whether to be insulted or not.
"Thank you, Major. Dismissed."
Kaide spun on her heel and left the office, Daniel close behind her.
"Colonel O'Neill, a word please?" Hammond said, and waited until the others had left before speaking. O'Neill hadn't turned around to face him.
"Colonel, I /know/ how much she meant to you." Hammond glanced down at his desk and then up again. "Try not to resent Major Kaide because of her position on SG-1." It was a warning, subtle, but present.
O'Neill said nothing, merely left the office in silence. Hammond sighed and picked up the pen and returned to signing reports. He had a terrible feeling he'd made a mistake with Kaide's assignment.
**
"Where's Major Kaide?"
Daniel and Teal'c watched Jack as he paced irritably in front of the Stargate ramp. They both knew why he was being more cranky than usual, and they also knew that he'd be taking it out on their new member. Daniel just hoped she was up to the task.
"I don't know. She's probably on her way." said Daniel, not even bothering to placate Jack. He had given up.
As if his words were a cue, the large blast doors rolled aside, and Kaide entered, doing up the last few straps on her equipment.
"Where have you been?" snapped Jack.
Kaide slowed her walk and raised her head. "I'm on time, sir." she said slowly, consciously striving to make her tone even.
"SG1 assembles five minutes early, Major. I expect you to remember that for future reference."
"Yes, sir." mumbled Kaide, casting nasty glares at Jack when he turned away from her to look up at General Hammond, who was supervising the dial out proceedure.
"SG1, you have a go."
Jack nodded and gestured for his team to move out. "Major," he called, just as they reached the top. "Try not to trip on anything."
Kaide mis-stepped when she heard O'Neill say that. She swallowed hard and set her teeth, following the other three members of her new team through the Gate. Her stomach flipped more than usual as she stepped through the wormhole, and she knew it was more than the travel that was affecting her. How was she supposed to prove that she was fully capable as a 2IC, when her commanding officer was so intent on hating her?
Unfortunately, Kaide didn't have any idea as to how she was supposed to go about that.
When her feet connected with the top step of whatever platform it was that the Stargate stood on, Kaide took a sharp inward breath, feeling her sinuses already aching from the absolute cold of the Gate travel.
When she had gotten her bearings, she realised that O'Neill had struck out, away from the Gate, without waiting for her. Daniel Jackson was hanging back slightly, waiting for her, and Teal'c was trying to keep an equal distance between Daniel and O'Neill, so they didn't all get separated.
Kaide was grateful that at least one person on SG1 wasn't overly hostile towards her (she couldn't tell with Teal'c). Daniel had actually gone out of his way to find her after she was assigned to the team and welcome her. Then he had warned her:
"Don't resent Jack, ok?" he had said to her. "He's still hurting over Sam."
It was hard not to resent him though. Very hard.
Daniel fell into step beside her, and the two of them jogged forward a little way to catch up with the other members of their team. Kaide was content to follow everyone around until she didn't want to crawl into a hole, but it didn't seem that that was meant to be.
"So, Amy Kaide..." O'Neill's voice startled her out of the internal thoughts she sometimes drifted into.
Kaide blinked and stepped up her pace slightly so she could speak to him. "Sir?"
"You're a scientist, right?" he asked, eyeing her a little.
"Uh..." she didn't like the way he asked that. "Yes, I'm an Earth Scientist."
"We're not on Earth." he said with a snort of derision.
Kaide licked suddenly dry lips. "Actually, I specialise in geology and spelunking."
"What's that?" he stared at her for a moment.
"Rocks and caves." she said with a little less tension. Maybe he wouldn't hate her all the time.
"Rocks and caves? Oh yeah, like that's hard. Real tough one that." he shook his head.
Kaide hadn't realised she had stopped dead for a few seconds. She knew her expression must have registered the hurt she felt at that comment. Daniel gently pushed her into moving again.
"Amy..."
"Yeah... I know." she said, her voice weak. "Don't resent him." How could she not?
**
Sam stepped out onto a very chilly world, where everything was slightly frosted over. It didn't take more than an absent glance to confirm that this wasn't her home. It wasn't where she wanted to be. She sagged slightly against her staff weapon, leaning on it for support, shivering absently. The threadbare clothes she wore were scarcely enough anymore to keep her warm.
She jumped slightly when she heard a twig snap on the bank of the small stream nearby, and she automatically clutched her staff a little tighter. When she looked over in that direction, though, she relaxed, seeing only a group of young children, maybe ten or eleven years old, all doing a very bad job of trying to hide from her.
She didn't want them to be afraid of her, because it was blatantly apparent that it was what they were from their faces. She held out her hand and spoke in what she hoped was a soothing voice; something that would cross any language barriers they had.
"It's alright..." she said, softly calling to the children. "I'm not going to hurt you. You can come out."
None of the children emerged from their hiding place, but she could hear anxious whispering in an alien tongue, probably talking about her. She opened her mouth to try again when she heard a call.
"Tu'yasen! Ilien mir tuop'an."
Sam turned to see the people, who from their bearing and attire, she guessed to be the leaders of whatever community this was, extend their hands, in what she guessed was a welcome. She tried her best to mimic the gesture, knowing that she probably failed miserably.
"I'm Samantha..." she said slowly, carefully. "I'm only a traveller, I don't mean to hurt you."
The oldest man was still chattering away at her in his alien tongue, making beckoning motions to her, then pointing at some huts that could be seen through the trees.
Sam tried to nod her understanding, and followed her hosts. At least they hadn't tried to kill her. That was a good sign.
**
"You guys /really/ have a knack for attracting trouble!" snapped Kaide, reloading her weapon with quick short movements. "BY THE BATTALION!!"
The others were too busy even to glare at her, as SG1 barrelled through the low bushes, taking the most direct route possible back to the Stargate - in a straight line. And they didn't care about what sort of state they left the plants in their wake in.
Neither, apparently, did the Jaffa, as one tree had its bark forcibly removed by a staff weapon blast. It had all been going absolutely swimmingly... until they had walked into a platoon of Horus guards, forcing them to run for the Gate as fast as they could.
To Kaide, it seemed like every time that they travelled off-world, they wound up getting into a firefight. Maybe it wasn't true, but that what it felt like to her. She had spent more time in the Infirmary in the last month than she had in the last year. Bruises, slightly wrist fracture, minor head trauma... the list went on. So, by this point, she was more than slightly annoyed with her fellow teammates, who seemed to attract trouble like a magnet.
They reached the DHD, and Daniel began to slam his hands down on the chevrons without being prompted. Kaide, Teal'c and O'Neill had to take up flanking positions around the DHD, buying Daniel a little more time. That was when the Major noticed something odd about O'Neill. He was shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet, as if preparing to make a run. And from the direction in which he was looking, it seemed as if he were planning to run into the centre of the Jaffa that were approaching rapidly.
"Colonel! What are you doing?" demanded Kaide, glancing at him worriedly as Daniel hit the fifth chevron.
She didn't really expect a response, so she wasn't surprised when she didn't get one. Her attention was momentarily caught as the wormhole burst to life, and Daniel tapped in a code into the GDO he carried. Then he headed for the shimmering event horizon, diving in. After a moment, Teal'c left his position and also dove through.
Then came Kaide and O'Neill's turn. They waited for a pause in the fighting - one of those moments where there seems to be a pause, if only for a fraction of a second, but still a pause. Then they bolted to their feet and headed for the Gate.
It was only when she was on the verge of taking the step that would send her through the Gate that Kaide realised that O'Neill had stopped moving. So she had come to a screeching halt, her momentum almost throwing her through the Stargate and turning to look at her commander.
"Sir? What are you doing??"
O'Neill said nothing. He didn't even look at her.
In a flash of insight, Kaide was certain that he wasn't planning to jump through the Gate. He was going to stay there and fight the lot of then. Noble, in a way. And she had a feeling she knew why. There wasn't a single person at the SGC who wasn't aware of his feelings towards his late Captain, and in fact, some had said that it was only a matter of time before he tried to get himself killed.
Kaide didn't bother being gentle, just grabbed her superior officer by the collar of his jacket and hurled him with as much strength as she could muster through the event horizon, then dove after him.
**
Hammond was in the control room when SG-1 returned from their latest mission, and it was predictably, a very close call. Teal'c and Daniel were through first, turned to look at the Gate after they had exited, then Colonel O'Neill landed on the ramp as if he'd been thrown through the Gate, looking slightly stunned, and causing Daniel and Teal'c to step back slightly. Major Kaide followed soon after, rolling as she hit the ramp and jumping to her feet almost instantly, her face livid.
"What in God's name were you playing at?!" Kaide yelled, her voice filling the Gateroom, carrying over the scraping of metal on metal as the iris closed. The woman could certainly shout if she put her mind to it.
"You're outta line, Major," said O'Neill, slowly, dangerously, as he stood up.
"Fuck that! You could have gotten yourself killed!" Kaide was becoming shrill, her arms flaying around madly. Daniel was backing off the ramp double time, while Teal'c watched them both carefully.
"It was necessary." was the only response she got.
"Necessary?! Necessary to die?" Then Kaide went straight for the cheap shot. At another time, she might have considered it wiser for her not to try and antagonise this man, but she was full of self-righteous fury, and didn't mind showing it. "Like Carter?"
She never saw the fist that went for her jaw, but she certainly felt it as it connected, staggering her back. She started to swing back, but Teal'c grabbed both her and O'Neill's wrists, effectively immobilising them. Kaide and O'Neill glared at each other heatedly for a moment, before Hammond's voice cut across the speaker system.
"Colonel, Major, you're both confined to quarters until you can cool off. Teal'c, Doctor Jackson, my office. Now."
Guards took the two officers who still looked like they wanted to break each others necks down to their quarters, while Daniel and Teal'c went to tell Hammond exactly how long this sort of thing had been going on.
Kaide asked for a transfer back to SG-8 not long after. She didn't say so in her official request, but everyone knew that the two of them couldn't stand the sight of one another anymore. Kaide was sick of the crap O'Neill put her through, and O'Neill was sick of the thought of someone taking Sam's place. They had 'mutually decided' that it would be best for them to steer clear of one another, before violence erupted. Again.
Hammond agreed to the transfer - her old CO was more than happy to have her back - and didn't even bother trying to find someone new to be assigned to Sam's old position in SG-1. He let the team continue, but with only three members.
**
The villagers had decided to have some sort of feast, and Sam was extremely grateful. She had been living on what small animals she had been able to find, eating what plants she hoped wouldn't kill her. So food like this - which she occasionally received from a planet's native population - was a welcome gift.
At some point, between courses, one of the leaders had pushed what looked like a breadstick into her hands and motioned for her to try it. When Sam had done so, she had found out that it tasted of something akin to barley sugar, although with the consistency of a string bean.
But it seemed to make her apetite increase, so she tried not to eat too much of it, nodding politely at intervals which seemed appropriate while the leaders chattered on at her in their native language.
Sam's mind started to wander after a while. She absently sifted through memories - still a little disjointed and out of sequence even after all this time. Some portions of her memory were even missing altogether. But it was still enough to piece together some of what she wanted to know. Even though she knew it wasn't everything.
A flash of movement caught Sam's vision out of the corner of her eye. She whipped her head around to focus on whoever it was and her breath caught in her throat.
"Jack?"
It wasn't Jack. She could see, after staring at him for a few moments, that he was nothing like the man who haunted her dreams, and her waking moments. She felt a horrid sinking sensation in her stomach, and she abruptly lost all apetite, but much on the sugary stick so she didn't appear rude. In reality, she could barely choke it down in her misery.
It was all she could do not to cry.
**
In her dreams, she relived the day she had been separated from her team. Over and over again. It was like her subconscious mind was torturing her, teasing her with this imagery. The one thing that she remembered with crystal clear clarity.
//"So, Carter, you treating us to your infamous phone call to the Pizza Place tomorrow?" Jack teased her. They were all meant to be going around to her apartment for a post-mission pizza and horror-flick fest the following night. It had become something of a tradition for them all.
"Why is it always me that phones?" she asked the team as a group. "It doesn't matter whose place we're at. I'm always the one to make the phone call. Last time, the guy said... oh you're that blonde woman, aren't you?" she shook her head. "I didn't know I was so famous."
"Infamous you mean." retorted Jack, teasing her.//
It had all come so suddenly. The attack of serpent guard, virtually stepping into their path - making no attempt at stealth whatsoever. They had thought they had the advantage, which they so clearly had.
//The Jaffa were coming closer. Sam could feel the heat from the last blast as it came a hair too close to her leg. Unconsciously, she put on a spurt of extra speed. It seemed to her that they spent too much time dashing for the DHD's on various planets.
Since Teal'c had arrived their first, he started the dialing out, while Daniel, Jack and Sam had taken cover behind large granite slabs laid out in concentric circles out from the Gate. When the Gate had activated, Sam had turned her gaze away from their attackers - who had just been slightly too far away to attack them, or so she had though - and started to rise to head towards the Gate.
It turned out to be a fatal mistake.
The staff weapon blast caught her in the centre of her chest like a giant's fist pounding into her, lifting her up into the air slightly and depositing her down about a meter away. Except she doubted that giant's hands burnt the skin they touched, causing hot lances of pain to spread to every corner of her body.
She remembered feeling this sensation once before, on the Nox world. The slight greying of vision around the edges before she lost all thought altogether. Except, this time, it was much slower, and more painful.
She couldn't hear much of anything - as if she were listening to the world through thick wads of cotton wool. She could see Jack, who had started heading towards the Gate, stop and yell something, then start to head back towards her.
She couldn't breath. It was like something heavy was sitting on her chest, smothering her. Her chest didn't rise or fall.
Teal'c stopped Jack before he could take more than a single step, and Daniel yelled something at him, before both hurled Jack through the Gate and jumped after him.
*JACK!!!* she wanted to scream, but couldn't, as her vision faded altogether and the serpent guards approached.//
After that, after her subconscious had tormented her by repeating that sequence a few dozen times, her dreams seemed to change. She had a mental image of looking down at a DHD and watching a graceful arm, her own but not quite, pressing on seven symbols as everyone around her poised ready to jump through the open gate.
Sam muffled a yelp as she fell off the low cot, striking her arm on the way down, forcibly waking from her dream. Ironic that Jolinar's memories would be stronger than her own. But now she had at least one planet where she knew someone had been.
Of course, she had no idea what would be there when she arrived. It could be empty for all she knew. But then, what did she have to lose?
**
She made her goodbyes to the Village Leaders in the morning. Of course, for all she knew, they could have thought she was telling them the recipe for the perfect banana walnut cake, but she hoped she got the gist across. One of them muttered something that sounded like a chant and handed her a small river-smoothed pebble, decorated with a character that looked a bit like a rune, but not quite. Unfortunately, Daniel wasn't there to translate for her.
//Daniel... SG-1... Jack...//
She smiled her gratitude, and hefted her staff weapon to keep it from dragging as she made her way back to the Stargate, some distance from the village proper.
So, she was a little surprised that as she touched the first chevron, from her dream, that one of the young children that had been there had her arrival suddenly burst from the bushes and clung to Sam as if her young life depended on it.
It was strange, the girl looked so much like Cassie it was hard to believe. Or maybe Sam was just projecting her longing for home onto the people she saw. It would certainly explain that... incident at the meal.
"Tha'ne sen'da fa'alenn." the girl said to her, the expression on her face one of total seriousness, then she released Sam and stood back slightly.
Sam smiled down at the little girl who spoke to her with such solemnity. She touched the girl's cheek tenderly and then turned to the DHD tapping in the six other symbols from her dream. As she hit the centre button, the vortex open, settling down into the event horizon, and stepped through it without looking back, even though she could feel the eyes of the little girl on her back.
**
Somehow, Daniel Jackson was sure that SG-1 had single-handedly managed to defoliate the area around the Stargates on several planets, assisted in part by obliging Jaffa and their weaponry. Today was no exception.
The bush besides Daniel vaporised and he jumped slightly to the side as Teal'c turned to fire a staff weapon blast over his shoulder. It was shortly after the the twin suns of P5F542 set, so it was almost pitch black, but the light from the staff weapons lit up the surroundings enough so they could see the huge ring they were barrelling towards.
"DANIEL!!!!!"
"YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY IT!!!"
Daniel almost ran into the DHD as they reaches the Stargate, the Jack and Teal'c taking up positions to provide covering fire for him.
*Point of origin... where the... oh right, there it is...*
Daniel had hit the first two symbols on the DHD, and then swore loudly as the inner ring started spinning, before he had finished inputting the address, and he knew he wouldn't have enough time to finish dialing out, as six symbols were already alight. "Someone's dialing in!" he called.
"Oh that's all we need." came Jack's voice, distinctly peeved.
Daniel leapt away from the DHD and took behind one of the stones that surrounded the Gate, as on many planets, and joined Jack and Teal'c in returning fire, while Jack looked for a more secure position. It wouldn't do to get Jaffa coming at them from one side, while another group came out of the Gate behind them. Not at all.
The gate finished spinning and burst into a flash of light, momentarily lighting up the whole landscape, blinding everyone in the area for a split second, leaving bright spots on their eyes. Jack turned towards the Gate, raising his gun, ready to attack whoever was coming out.
But instead of a large platoon of Jaffa, a small, solitary, figure exited from the Gate, holding a staff weapon in one hand. Before the wormhole disengaged, Jack could make out faded green military fatigues, and dishevelled blonde hair.
"Sam?" he managed to choke out.
Daniel and Teal'c didn't hear him, occupied as they were with the Jaffa. Sam was a little confused at first, her eyes not yet dark adapted, but her confusion was soon resolved as one of the Jaffa managed to land a shot about a foot to her right, startling her into instinctively diving leftwards.
She, through pure chance, nearly landed on top of Jack, and stared long and hard at him for a long moment before reality sunk in.
"Oh my god... Jack?"
They both ducked, reflexively grasping at each other as a patch of earth exploded near them, tossing up soil and debris. Sam and Jack immediately forgot about the touching reunion thing, as Sam hefted her staff weapon, turning the business end towards the Jaffa and joining Teal'c and Daniel in firing at their enemy. Both of the men were startled at the sudden joining of another staff weapon on their side.
"Daniel!! Dial it up!!"
Daniel overcame his startlement, unable to see Sam in the darkness, and went for the DHD, hitting the first symbol before he had even come to a complete stop.
The Stargate burst into life, and Sam leapt towards the platform on which the Gate stood, firing several shots towards their attackers. Daniel stared in confusion for a moment.
"Sam?"
The former-SG-1 member had no patience for this. With little regard for how he might land on the other side, she shoved him on the back hard, forcing him through the Gate, then jumped through herself, barely a second ahead of Teal'c and Jack.
**
Sam's spine was jarred as she landed on her feet upon exiting the Gate, something she had learned to do from constant practice. It wouldn't do to get charred by a staff weapon whilst trying to get your balance back.
She raised her head, and felt her vision swim as she looked around the sterile, concrete walls of the Embarkation Room in the SGC, the dull brown and green fatigues, which, for a single moment, Sam thought were the most beautiful thing in the Universe.
"Close the iris!" snapped an oh-so-familiar voice.
The grating sound of smooth metal on smooth metal sounded as the iris swivelled shut, and the thuds of what was probably Jaffa were heard impacting on the other side.
"SG-1 you... my god... Captain Carter?" Hammond's voice could, at best, be described as incredulous. Janet, standing in the control room, looked as if she were about to go and check with a psychiatrist to see if she'd lost her mind.
Sam swayed unsteadily on her feet for a moment, the only thing holding her upright being the staff weapon. She could be heard to mutter plaintatively, "I'm home..." before collapsing bonelessly, and would have hit the hard metal of the ramp, had Jack not caught her.
"Get her to the infirmary!" cried a feminine voice, seconds before she lost consciousness altogether.
**
"How is she?"
"It's hard to tell. There's a lot of old healed-over injuries which obviously didn't have any sort of attention, so she's not in the best of shapes..."
"Will she live?"
"She's perfectly healthy, except..."
"Except what?"
"She seems to have some sort of amnesia. When she regained consciousness a short while ago, we had Sinead Hanson, one of our counsellors look her over, and she doesn't know whether the memories can be returned."
"Is it possible?"
"Yes, but..."
"Then I refuse to give up hope, Doc."
Sam felt the gentle touch on her hand, in a sort of semi-conscious state between waking and dreaming. The touch was calming, and dreamt of for so long.
"I did before. I won't again."
-Fini
= Jewels = http://jump.to/jewels.realm
"Wouldst thou know a truth or mystery, A drunkard, fool, or child may tell it thee."
Story Notes: Title: Losing The Way
Author: Jewels
Email: jhantor@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 (the F' word shows up)
Category: S/J, Angst
Spoilers: Nope.
Archive: SJA, Heliopolis, go ahead, anyone else, ask me first please.
Summary: Everyone thinks Sam's dead, or is she simply lost? The full story of "The Visitor". Set late 2nd season.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. They're not mine, never have been mine, even though I wish they were. Well, Amy Kaide is mine, but no one else is.
Notes: I've been working on this ever since I posted "The Visitor". I kinda wanted to tell more of the story. Who knows... maybe I'll write a sequel... maybe I won't... maybe you'll hate it... I hope you won't... :)
For the little devil on my shoulder, who first persuaded me to write. She knows who she is.
Author: Jewels
Email: jhantor@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 (the F' word shows up)
Category: S/J, Angst
Spoilers: Nope.
Archive: SJA, Heliopolis, go ahead, anyone else, ask me first please.
Summary: Everyone thinks Sam's dead, or is she simply lost? The full story of "The Visitor". Set late 2nd season.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. They're not mine, never have been mine, even though I wish they were. Well, Amy Kaide is mine, but no one else is.
Notes: I've been working on this ever since I posted "The Visitor". I kinda wanted to tell more of the story. Who knows... maybe I'll write a sequel... maybe I won't... maybe you'll hate it... I hope you won't... :)
For the little devil on my shoulder, who first persuaded me to write. She knows who she is.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]