Nothing was as it should be. The base was in chaos, people were milling around caught between supreme elation and flat disappointment. They'd done it! Beaten the bad guys, saved the world. But it was a victory tainted by sadness. An ending of everything.
The gate room stood hollow, bereft of its heart. Wires trailed to nothing, props and struts rested awkwardly. Useless. And the ramp that had seen so many triumphant returns was a forlorn site, leading up to nothing.
It was gone.
The Stargate was gone.
Sam's footsteps seemed too loud in the empty room as she walked slowly up the ramp, remembering a hundred missions - some wondrous, some terrifying. All astonishing. And there would be no more. The SGC was extinct, their close-knit family would be dispersed, meeting only at nostalgic reunions. Remembering the past. The glory days.
"Damn it!" She kicked angrily at the ramp, the dull clang tolling mournfully. Damn Anubis. Damn his weapon that could keep them Earth-bound, denying them the access to the stars that was their right. Their birth right! If only she could have--
"Major Carter?"
Jonas. She turned, composing her features. He wasn't quite a friend. Not yet. "Hey."
He nodded thoughtfully, squinting up towards the elevator shaft that had been their salvation. And their destruction. "Guess I won't be going home any time soon, huh?"
"Guess not," she agreed. And she wouldn't be seeing her father any time soon either. Or Teal'c. But, "We owe you for this, Jonas," she acknowledged. "You saved our world."
He shrugged. "It was your idea, Major." And then, "General Hammond sent me to find you. Colonel O'Neill just arrived back. He's on his way down."
Despite the years of repression, her stomach flipped over and she felt a smile touch her lips. If there was a silver-lining to all this... "Thanks. Did the General say how he's doing?"
"Fine. His knee got a little..." He grimaced and waved towards his own leg. "When he hit the water, I think."
She nodded, knowing all too well the pummeling the body took ejecting at that speed and at that altitude. "He'll be a bit bashed up," she agreed, turning and taking loud, ringing steps down the ramp towards the door. "But at least he's in one piece."
Jonas nodded as she passed him. "Major?"
"Yeah?"
"I guess now there isn't an SG-1 anymore."
"No," she said shortly. "Not anymore."
He nodded again. "One day," he promised her, "I'll prove myself to you all."
Recognizing the real concern, the real disappointment behind his smile, she offered him a smile of her own. "You already have, Jonas."
He looked pleased. "Even to Colonel O'Neill?"
She had no answer to that. "I'll talk to him."
***
She could hear his voice before she saw him, and even that tightened her stomach into a knot of anticipation. He was alive. Thank God. She would never forget those agonized moments when she thought he was gone... Quickening her step, eager to see for herself what her ears were telling her, she turned the corner and stopped in the infirmary doorway.
And there he was, obstreperous as always, perched on the edge of a bed and barely tolerating Janet's determined examination. "I'm telling you," he groused, "they already did all this when they fished me outa the sea. I'm fine. Better than fine, I'm--OW!"
"Tender?" Janet asked innocently, her fingers hovering over his left knee.
"Good guess." He looked up then, his eyes landing inevitably on Sam where she still lingered in the doorway. For a moment a smile lit his face, an expression of genuine, heartfelt pleasure that she shared utterly. And then the moment was gone. "Hey, Carter. Nice plan."
"Thanks," she nodded, stepping into the room and approaching the bed. God, it was good to see him. She had a sudden, insane desire to pull him into her arms and hold on tight. Just to make sure he was really back with them. She didn't, of course. "You had us worried there, sir."
He nodded. "Had myself worried." He gave her a tight-lipped smile, a mixture of resignation and reassurance. But then the smile wavered. She couldn't tell if he was trying not to smile more, or trying not to frown, so muddled was the expression that crept over his face. But he looked at her sideways, almost anxiously, as he said, "So...Hammond says we're all outa here?"
Oh. That. "Yeah," she replied, feeling her pulse quicken and her eyes slide to something interesting on Janet's instrument tray. She knew what this meant of course, just as well as he did. Everything that had remained so carefully unspoken between them could be...spoken. It was a frightening thought. Terrifying! "I'll, um, probably be transferred to Area 51."
"Nevada, huh?" He said the word as if he were trying it on for size. Considering the implications. Then, flinging a cautious look at Janet - now scribbling notes in his file at her desk - he slipped off the bed. Wincing as his bad knee took his weight, he limped towards Sam. "So, I guess this changes a few things...?" It was more a question than a statement, spoken as if he wasn't entirely sure she'd agree.
His caution made her smile In every other part of his life, he was brash and brazen. But not with this. Never with this. "It depends," she agreed, teasing him gently. She couldn't resist it, not with her heart quickening at the feel of him standing so close.
A flicker of nervous tension, half-humor half fear-brightened his eyes. "Depends on...?"
"What your plans are, sir."
He smiled then, slowly, gently. And utterly delightfully. "I think you know what my plans are, Carter. After the SGC, there's nowhere to go but...fishing."
She raised a teasing eyebrow. "Not many fish in Nevada."
He shrugged, the smile leaving his lips and deepening in his eyes. "That's never bothered me before. It's the company I'm interested in."
"They'll want you to take another command."
"I know. The President mentioned it..."
Her eyes widened. "*The* President?"
"We chatted on the way over. I told him I had other plans."
A grin flashed onto her face, more than mildly flattered by the idea. "Wow."
"Come on, Carter. No one is gonna get me to pass up on--"
"Okay Colonel!" Janet interrupted, appearing at his side with a poorly concealed smile. "Everything checks out. You'll have to stay off the knee for a few more days, other than that you're free to go."
"*Thank* you," he replied with exaggerated relief, limping over to snag his jacket from the back of the chair. "Dinner, a hot bath, and bed...here I come."
Sam flung a look at Janet, but hurriedly turned away when she saw the laughing speculation in her friend's eyes. "Sounds like a good idea, Colonel," was all Fraiser said, despite the grin that plastered her face as she tidied away her instruments.
Rolling her eyes, Sam trailed after O'Neill. "Think I'll head home too."
He turned, words about to fall from his lips. Then he stopped. "On second thought," he said slowly, eyes darting between Sam and Janet, "maybe I'll stop by and see George on the way. Need to sort out a couple of...details."
"Tonight?" Sam asked. If he was thinking what she thought he was thinking... "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"
But there was an excitement rising in his eyes that she'd never seen before. It took ten years off him, and turned her knees to jelly. He grinned dangerously. "Why wait?" And then he was gone, as fast as his limp could carry him.
Janet chuckled, and Sam spun around nervously. "What?"
Fraiser shook her head. "The Colonel's an impatient man, that's all!"
"Janet!"
"What?!"
"Never mind," Sam grumbled, heading for the door.
"Just make sure he doesn't do anything too athletic, that knee--"
"I'm not listening!" Sam called over her shoulder as she strode from the room, blushing to the roots of her hair.
***
But she didn't head straight home. She dawdled in her lab for a while, running her eyes over all the things she'd have to leave behind, all the momentos of a life suddenly changed. She was heavy-hearted, but buoyant too. For every ending, there was a new beginning. And with the end of the Stargate Program, she knew that her personal life was going to take off on its own path. As breathtaking and unpredictable, in its own way, as any trip through the gate.
She took a deep breath, feeling herself relax as she sat down behind her work bench. She wondered if he'd come and find her after talking to Hammond, or if she should go find him? She had no idea what he expected from her, and little idea of what she expected from herself. Or him. The one thing she did know was that she wanted him in her life. Wanted to get to know him, spend time with him, and give whatever they had between them a chance to grow and blossom in the open at last.
It was a liberating sensation, a reprieve from the constant subjugation of personal desire to the overwhelming importance of the common good. A license, at last, to put herself first and be happy. She smiled, a slow wide smile. She couldn't wait to--
"Major Carter to the control room!"
She was on her feet and running in a heartbeat, pulse thudding.
O'Neill and Hammond were both there as she raced into the room. "What's up?"
Davies was at the controls. It didn't look like trouble... "Go ahead," he said, "they're all here."
The radio crackled and then, "General Hammond ..."
"Teal'c!"
Thank God!
"O'Neill! It is good to hear you are well. The weapon being used by Anubis has been destroyed..."
Destroyed? Her mind raced ahead as the details of Teal'c's landing were discussed around her. Destroyed! It meant they didn't have to fear another attack! They weren't trapped like rabbits in a cage. They could use the Russian gate! The SGC would continue and--
Oh...
Oh God...
Her eyes flashed instantly to O'Neill's. Joy was once more ridged with pain. SG-1, the SGC - everything she'd worked for - had been reprieved from destruction. Only to send that other, fragile, barely-named hope back into the abyss of regulation and duty from which it had so recently emerged. It was too much, almost too much to bear.
Her throat tightened as his eyes, bitter with disappointment, slid from hers. He sucked in a deep breath, burying his hands deep into his pockets. "I guess we're back in business."
"That we are, son," Hammond grinned, slapping him enthusiastically on the back. "I'm afraid you'll have to put off commanding that boat of yours for a while."
O'Neill nodded, a flat, humorless smile compressing his lips. "I guess so, sir."
Sam sighed, staring out at the still empty gate room. The balance had shifted again, from personal back to professional. Duty settled heavily on her shoulders, a familiar and comfortable weight. It felt good, but it did little to warm the part of her heart that was creeping back into the cold darkness of repression and denial. The respite had been short, a mere glimpse of a life that had, again, been pushed out of reach.
Once more, duty called them. And once more, they would answer.
This time, at least.
~End~
Story Notes: There's a chance this might be the first of a series of short episode additions for season six. Maybe.
End Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]