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Story Notes: Thread of Destiny - 09 - Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission. Copyright by Blue Topaz, 2002


I stare blankly at the gate. I don't know how much time has passed since the gate disengaged, but every fraction of a second is like torture to me. I don't know what to do, part of me acknowledges that she's gone, Wagner had been watching her as well as he was watching me. The other part of me hopes that she and Teal'c made it, that she cut the right wire. In the background, I could hear vaguely the gate technicians checking the computer.

"The computer is back online, Sir." Davis reports.

"*But it's too late.*"

I still can hear it, Wagner's mocking voice. It keeps echoing inside my head. He was right, I should've noticed it sooner, I should've told her which wire to cut, I should've been there with her in the first place, I should've ...

"Son ..." General's voice, he put one comforting hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't take my eyes off the gate.

"I know how much Major Carter means to you."

I don't know what to say, " She's ... a very valuable member of my team, Sir." I want to say more, I want to say how much I love her, how she somehow stole a place in my heart, how she makes me wish everyday for a chance to be together, even if it's only in a dream. But I couldn't, I'm still in my wishful thinking that she'll be back and I'll say all those things to her myself. Making sure that my every word is written in her heart.

"I know, Son ... I know." Hammond knows about us, he's a General for a reason. But I guess he never saw any reasons to doubt our judgement, we never did cross the line. How I wish we did now.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of Wagner, my desperation soon turning into fury. He still is standing near the wall where I pushed him earlier. I make my way to him and stop just right in front of him, he's closing his eyes and rambling something under his breath. He has a faint smile on his lips, but it's a sad one. Sensing that I was near, he opens his eyes. The control room is in an eerie silence, although there are at least a dozen technicians in there. They're watching us.

And then, very slowly, he says, "It's over. She's gone."

Without thinking, my good arm automatically raises, and I send a fist towards him with all my might. In less than a second my fist finds its target, the wall next to Wagner's head. He's shocked, he thought for sure that I'd punch him.

"You won't get away too easily. There'll be Hell to pay for all this Wagner ... and I'm personally going to make sure that you'll get there." I threaten people all the time, it's one of my games, but this time I really meant it, every single word of it.

He just shrugs, "I got what I want, I don't care about the consequences."

He's trying to make me lose my self-control. No, no, I won't be baited. Okay, take a deep breath, breathe in ... breathe out ... breathe in ... breathe out.

"Jack, he's not worth it." Daniel, my own living conscience. He's right, he always is, "Sam would not want you to do that either." Yeah, she wouldn't want this.

Slowly I regain my composure, I was so close to losing it, but there's still hope. No matter how faint it is, it's still hope. Carter and Teal'c have a streak to beat the odds, like any other member of SG-1. The streak that frustrates the Goa'uld over and over again. I still have hope ... don't I?

"General, can we establish a wormhole to P30 J81?" Waiting is not my game, I despise it. While you're waiting, you never know what's truly going on. I'm more of an 'action' man, or that was the term Carter used once.

"Not until we're sure that the bomb is disabled, Colonel. You know that." Of course I know. Damn, the pain in my fist decides to make its presence known, the adrenaline has decreased now as my frustration escalates.

And then suddenly the Stargate starts to rotate.

"Incoming traveller." Davis excitedly announces, and the mood inside the room brightens.

"Don't waste your hope, Colonel. It's SG-5. They were due back about now." Annoyingly, Wagner smiles.

Surprisingly, it's Daniel who answers him back, "Don't waste your snide remarks, Wagner. They're way too good for your bomb." That shuts him up.

I look at Daniel for a while and then I realise that I'm not alone. He also shares the same guilt as I do, that we're supposed to be there with them, next to the bomb, instead of here, in the safety of the grey walls of the SGC. He flashes me a small tender smile, and somehow it soothes me a little. That's my best friend for you, who can give me consolation in the time I need it the most.

KAWOSH

The wormhole is established.

"Closing the Iris, waiting for SGC code."

I wait ... and wait ... and wait.

"*Sir, is it safe to go home now?*" Carter's voice is like ice-cold fresh water to my thirsty soul. Well, I was being too poetic for my own standards there for a moment, but who cares? I'm so relieved that she's alive.

The control room is exploding with cheers, some are clapping, Daniel hugs me, and General Hammond smiles as wide as possible.

"Yes, Major. You had us worried there for a moment." Hammond says.

"*Teal'c and I were just making sure that the bomb is completely off Sir.*"

"Very well, come home now, Major. And that's an order."

"*Yes, Sir.*"

I'm still speechless, I don't know what to say. She's coming back, to Earth, to me. Still intact and very ... her. Those few torturous minutes of uncertainty seem like decades away now.

"It's impossible."

Trust the universe to always have someone who isn't pleased with this dramatic close call. Wagner had slumped to the floor as soon as the realization of his plan's failure had sunk in. I shot him a sympathetic look, where's the man who stood like a proud victor just a minute ago?

"I guess she's not as predictable as she looks, huh?" She is anything but predictable.

With that I left him in the control room and headed towards the gate room, Hammond and Daniel are already in there. And then, two figures emerge from the event horizon; I could recognise those figures anywhere, anytime.

"Welcome home, Major Carter, Teal'c." Hammond greets cheerfully.

"It's good to be home, Sir."

Teal'c just bows his head as he always does.

Daniel runs straight to Carter and hugs her close as she returns his embrace, and I could see him muttering something in her ear. Teal'c hands over the naquada generator to one of the SF, and I walk towards them.

"O'Neill."

"Teal'c. I'm glad that you could make it."

"It is Major Carter's crucial decision that makes it possible."

It is, and I still don't understand why she cut the blue wire. I was so certain that she would go for the red one.

"Colonel."

I turn around to see her standing in front of me.

"You did good, Carter."

She really did.

"Yes, Sir."

Many things are running through my mind at the moment, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything else. So I close distance between us and pull her into my arms. If Daniel is allowed to do it, I see no reason why I shouldn't do it either, she's my friend and she deserves it. I don't care if the whole base witnesses this. It's a basic human right to hug a friend who just cheated her death, right?

"I thought ... damn, doesn't matter now ... I'm just glad that you're back." I whisper.

She hugs me and whispers back, "You won't get rid of me that easily."

I allow myself to hold her so close, to put my arms around her like there's no tomorrow. After a few seconds, I reluctantly let her go. I miss the warmth that radiates from her body already, my body craves for more.

She smiles at me, "Besides, you still owe me a picture, Sir."

Oh yeah, that smile and that comment *do* help me a lot with my craving for her. She's back, and we're back in the familiar territory. I couldn't ask for more.

"All in good time, Carter. All in good time."

- to be continued-




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