samandjack.net

Story Notes: Authors Note: Please, for the love of all things Holy and Good, if you haven't read the spoilers for Season 7's "The Lost City", look away. Do not read...this is just my pathetic attempt at what I would like to see happen...that's all. Thanks to my Beta Reader Teresa, look T, no waffles! As always feedback is craved...

EMAIL: hatchepsut@shaw.ca


How Do You Say Good-bye?


She lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling. This wasn't an unusual situation for her to be in, sleep was an ever elusive companion when she was stressed...and she was stressed.

Sam sighed and flipped over on to her stomach. Great, she still couldn't sleep, but at least now she was staring out the window and not up at the ceiling that needed a paint job.

It was all his fault.

Damn him!!!

She'd spent the whole night with him, Daniel and Teal'C making nice, pretending that what he had done, what he had chosen to do, wasn't the stupidest thing in the Universe. How did she tell her CO that he is being the *biggest freakin' idiot in the known Galaxy*?

So what if it was the only way, and that he was the only one that had ever done it before? So what if the Asgaard might be able to clean his mess in time? So what if the very thought of what could happen was killing her?

Damn, damn, damn!!!

She flipped over again and noticed the clock.

2:45 am.

Great.

Peachy.

Lovely.

And a whole lot of other adjectives that she wasn't going to use right now.

She tossed the quilt aside and crawled out of bed. She was mad, and it didn't help that there were other thoughts whispering at the back of her mind.

Like what would have been if they had allowed the feelings between them to develop?

Like did he know how she felt about him right now, today?

Like how was she going to survive day after day without him?

Damn, damn, damn!!!

She hadn't been drinking, so the rash decision was made of as sound a mind as she had right now. She pulled on a pair of jeans, grabbed her helmet and leather jacket from the post by the door, and hopped on her bike, before she could talk herself out of it.

So what if was going to be after 3 am when she got there? So what if he was in bed (oh so not going there) when she got there? So what if he got mad and brought her up on insubordination charges? He'd had his turn to say his piece, now she was going to have hers...

His house was dark when she pulled into the gravel drive. She hadn't revved the engine down as she'd come into the street, and the throaty echoes had probably awakened a few neighbours, if not him too. She sighed, a moment's doubt crossing her mind, but she shook it off and swung her leg over the bike. In for a penny in for a pound!

She approached the door and raised her hand, after giving serious thought to using her boot, and knocked, only to hear her name.

"Carter!?"

She looked up to locate the source. Ah, on his roof, stargazing.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

His voice was a hoarse whisper.

"Yes, and that's why I'm here!"

She bothered to stage whisper back. Lord knew that his neighbours weren't that close, and if her bike hadn't woken them, then their voices certainly wouldn't...

But she was in a pique...and her brain had disconnected from her mouth about ten minutes ago.

Jack had to grip the banister that he'd installed on his roof, so as not to fall off when he heard her reply.

Surely she hadn't meant it the way it sounded? He halfway hoped she had.

He met her half way up the ladder to his roof top observatory.

"Major."

He tried not to sound desperate, resorting to using her rank in an effort to put an emotional, if not physical, distance between them. He looked at her, gauged how mad she was and how loud it was going to get.

"Perhaps we should take this *inside*?"

Major? She seethed. If he couldn't use her first name, he could damn well call her Carter like he usually did!

She stomped along behind him, allowing him to crawl down the ladder first. She was so mad that she didn't even sneak a peek at his butt on the way down.

He was going to find her boot print on that fine, fine backside before she was done here tonight!

Jack was trying to figure out what the obviously pissed off Major Samantha Carter was doing at his house at 3:15 in the morning.

She'd said her good-byes, sort of, earlier in the evening, when she, Teal'C and Daniel had come by. He'd given her the run down on how she'd be the best person to lead SG-1 with him gone, and she smiled, sadly and thanked him. She'd been quiet for most of the evening, but he didn't kid himself. They were friends, at the very least, and his choice had pretty much ended his life.

He opened the patio door and ushered her in. As she swept by him he caught a whiff of a truly intoxicating smell...leather and Carter.

His toes curled in his shoes.

He watched her peel off her jacket and throw it on the chair by her helmet, then begin to pace. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but she anticipated it and lifted one hand to stop him from speaking.

"No don't," she nearly growled. "I came here for a reason, and I want to get this off my chest before I come to my senses. Then you can have your say and bring me up on charges, or whatever. I just can't do *this* any more."

She waived her hands emphatically as she spoke.

Jack sat back on the sofa, shock making his knees less sturdy than usual. Not shock at her anger. Shock at how it transformed her...

It wasn't often that he got to see Carter with a full head of steam, but it was a beautiful sight to behold when it happened. Her eyes became almost navy in colour and her lips took on a deep pink hue -- when she was debating what she was going to say next, she chewed on them. Her body language was that of a stalking cat and he could almost see the sparks coming off of her.

He hated cliches but, damn she was beautiful when she was angry!

"Okay, what the hell were you thinking?"

This time she actually did growl the words, but she didn't let him actually participate in the conversation.

"You weren't...that's all I can fathom."

"I should be at the lab trying to fix this, but *noooo* I'm here trying to figure out what the hell is going on."

Jack sat there dumb struck. She really didn't need him here for this did she?

She was pacing back and forth across his living room rug.

"I can't sleep because I don't know how this is going to work out...I can't work because I can't concentrate..."

She stopped and threw a glare his way.

"You didn't stop and think about what this would mean to those of us who love did you?"

Jack felt like he'd been hit with a bolt of lightening. She was so angry that she wasn't even listening to what she was saying and Carter always thought before she spoke. That was one of the things he valued most about her.

"Nope, didn't think about us at all. You signed your own death warrant and we're supposed to go on like nothing's happening. Well guess what, *SIR*? I can't."

Jack tried to once again interrupt her, only to be shushed.

"The lunatic fringe...Blessed be, why do I have to fall in love with the lunatic fringe? I was reasonably happy at the Pentagon...Sure it was a little dry, not much sunlight...But at least I didn't know you and didn't find myself holding my breath every time you left my sight."

Pacing again.

"But hey, I should have known...It wasn't going to happen when I wasn't around. You pull some idiot stunt and get yourself killed right in front of me!"

"Oh and answer me this!!! Why is it that when Thor needs you, he just beams you up, but when you need him, he's on vacation? This whole relationship is a little one-sided, and I promise you the next time I see his scrawny little grey butt, I'm going to kick it to Othala and back!"

It was at that point he felt his leash snap...Metaphorically.

Stomping over to where his 2IC was standing, Jack grabbed her shoulders, and turned her to look into his eyes.

"Damn it Carter, I love you too. Do you think that I waited this long only to throw it all away? Seven years is a *long* time to wait."

The tears in her eyes broke him. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"It will work out...Trust me, we *will* have tomorrow and a thousand more tomorrows to figure out what this is between us and to make it work. Thor *will* show up, a little late, but he'll show...He does like to make an entrance."

She pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"I do love you Jack..."

"And I love you, Sam."

Just as they drew each other close, lips a whisper apart, the doorbell rang. They could hear Daniel and Teal'C arguing outside.

Damn the Spacemonkey...and his Jaffa friend too!




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