I Don't Want To Wait
I Don't Want To Wait:
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be!
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?
Paula Cole
DTG 211720Z SEP 04
Bolts of energy flew past her face as Sam Carter dove behind the non- existent protection of a bush. She hit the ground hard and rolled onto her side firing her Zat back at the group of Jaffa who were still hot on her tail. The blue lightening hit one and she watched as he fell to the ground, stunned. She could see Teal'C, off to the left, through the smoke and dust and beyond him she could hear Daniel. More correctly, she could hear the scrape of the Stargate, as it turned locking in the chevrons that would bring up the wormhole that would take them home. Where was Jack? The Colonel, she corrected herself. Another staff blast blew by her and she turned to the right, in time to see her Commanding Officer fall to the ground as a Jaffa swung his staff weapon and connected it with the back of O'Neill's head. Had the Jaffa been two steps closer, O'Neill would have been chasing his head across the field. She screamed for Teal'C, needing his backup, as she fired at the enemy Jaffa leaning over the Colonel. The large man, whom she would trust with her life, ran for O'Neill just as Daniel got the Gate open. Sam hurriedly punched the code into the GDO on her wrist, and all four members of SG-1 jumped through the wormhole. "Close the iris!!!!" Carter screamed it aloud as she hit the metal ramp on the other side. For once she was the last one through the Gate, a position O'Neill usually took. She looked around the room from her kneeling position to see that Daniel, Teal'C and the unconscious O'Neill, had made it through, safe and sound. It was only then that she felt the burning pain of her right shoulder and, dreading what she would see, glanced around at the source of her pain. A rather large, smoldering hole was where her jacket sleeve and the attached SGC insignia should have been. Yup, just as she thought, she'd ruined another jacket. That was her last thought as the dark fuzziness that had crept up on her took over her vision and she lost consciousness.
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The next time Sam opened her eyes, Janet Fraser's concerned face was looking down at her. "Colonel?" She was surprised at the way her voice grated, but her throat was drier than the deserts of Abydos. She'd already guessed that she was in the infirmary: the IV, Janet, the smell, the annoying beeps... The look of concern on Janet's face deepened. "He's here." That was an avoidance technique if Sam had ever heard one. "Janet?" She asked again. This time was a little easier thanks to the ice chips Janet had supplied. The doctor busied herself looking at Sam's chart. "Yes?" "The Colonel, is he okay?" Sam asked. "Sam...I really want you to rest, you took a full-powered staff blast to that arm. It's going to hurt like hell and take its toll on your body for quite a while." Janet looked at her patient, her friend, with a soft smile. Realizing that Janet still hadn't answered her, Sam panicked, her cardiac monitor going crazy as her heartbeat ratcheted up. "He's dead? Oh God, no Janet, please, tell me he…Oh God..." Her blue eyes widened in fear and agony and filled with tears. Janet grabbed Sam's hand, halting her struggles against the constricting bed sheets and monitor leads. "Sam, no, he's not dead. He just hasn't regained consciousness yet. He has a skull fracture and there's a lot of swelling of his brain..." "How long?" Sam wanted to know how long they'd been unconscious. "Ten hours. The first 24 are critical, so he has a while to go. Please Sam, rest, there's nothing you can do." Janet patted her hand. "Janet, I need to see him, please." Sam struggled to sit up. Her right arm was thickly bandaged and tightly secured to her chest. She was going to be out of commission for awhile. "I won't stay long. Please?" Janet had a soft spot for her friend and it extended to a certain sarcastic Colonel, too. Everybody knew that the Major and the Colonel of SG-1 had a special bond. But Janet was one of the few who understood how deeply the woman cared for the man, and had her suspicions that the man cared for the woman just as deeply. She thought it was funny how, amongst the people who cared to speculate about them, most everybody thought that it was O'Neill who had first realized his feelings for his second in command were more than military. But Janet knew for a fact that Sam had realized what she felt for him months before he ever did. She remembered the woman with the wild look in her eyes, the exhaustion on her face, trying to figure out a way to return her CO from Edora. "Sam..." Janet said, he censure clear in the tone of her voice. "Please...?" Sam begged. Janet had never seen her friend beg. Against her better judgment, she called for a nurse and they helped Sam out of bed and into a wheelchair. Some rules were just not to be broken. The petite doctor then wheeled her friend across the empty infirmary over to a curtained area. Sam could hear shuffling and a low voice muttering behind the barricade. The Major looked up at her Doctor, questioningly. Janet smiled sadly and pulled back the curtain. Daniel Jackson sat on a chair leaning forward, talking to O'Neill. He started when he heard the curtain slide, looking around behind him. "Ohh, Sam, you're awake...Good, I was coming to see you again...In a moment, uhm. Yeah." The archaeologist looked tired and scared. Janet looked at Daniel and pointedly as if to say " Give them a minute." Daniel looked at Sam. She was staring at the man in the bed with a look of deep fear on her face. Watching her watch Jack, Daniel felt his heart break. He looked up at Janet who nodded and then he whispered to Sam. "I think I'll go grab a shower and some coffee. Teal'C just went to grab a quick bite... Sam, are you going to stay for a while?" She didn't even look up at him. She just nodded. She didn't even hear Janet slide the curtain back around the bed. Janet had moved her close enough to the bed that if she just reached out, she could take him by the hand. The machinery monitoring his heart and respiration beeped quietly in the background. He was breathing on his own, at least that was good. He was pale - more pale than she'd seen him since his return from Ba'al, when he'd been addicted to the sarcophagus. "Sir? Can you hear me?" She squeezed his hand, her throat thickened with tears. "I'm sorry. I failed you ...again" Sam rested her head on the bed by his hand. They were alone. It was a rare occurrence to be alone anywhere in the SGC. And she was so tired. She wasn't tired from the last mission, it was no worse than most, better than some. But she was tired of the lies, to herself and to him. Tired of the self sacrificing she was forced to practice and damn it, she was tired of the damn force field that separated them. The force field on the Goa'uld ship had started their problems. If they hadn't been subconsciously lying to Anise, they wouldn't have had to voice their feelings and they could have gone on pretending. Pretending that the feelings they felt didn't exist. Pretending that they could just be friends. Pretending that they could each continue to live without the other one. She was tired of pretending. She wasn't going to do it any more. She sat there for a moment and realized she was crying, quietly at first, then deep heart wrenching sobs that shook the bed her Commanding Officer was laying on. "These last couple of weeks have been the worst..." She spoke just barely aloud, sucking in a breath through her teeth. "I can't do this...anymore." She panted in frustration. "We got Daniel back, and as much as I love him, please tell me, I didn't get him back just to lose you?" Her normally chatty Colonel was silent. His continued unconsciousness gave her the perfect opportunity to let him know what was in her heart. She would know she'd said it, even if he didn't. "I need you, sir. I can't do this alone. There's too much work to be done..." She stopped, silently admonishing herself for lying, taking the easy way out again. "Damn it that's not true! This has nothing to do with work! You know how I feel about...you, us..." She stopped not knowing what to else to say. Knowing what she wanted to say, but unable to put it into the right words Samantha Carter at a loss for words was an unusual occurrence. She usually had plenty of them, most being poly-syllabic, Latin-based, scientist words, at that. She tried again. "When you and Maybourne took your little trip, I worked my ass off finding a way to bring you home… Jonas, Teal'C and I came up with the idea to send you Yu, when Ba'al had you trapped. I can and have fought for you - every single time. No one gets left behind. And I won't leave you here, either. But you just laying here? I can't handle this. I can't help you. I can't build a machine to get you out of this bed." She broke off, feeling her tears return. She shoved those hurt, scared feelings back, putting them into a box and slamming the lid down on them. Crying had never gotten her anywhere. Only when she had picked herself up by her bootstraps and forced herself to go on -- out of sheer stubborn-mindedness -- had she ever made any progress in her life. Drawing on the hope and frustration she felt about their current situation, she spoke to him one more time, willing him to hear her. "I don't like feeling helpless, so you just wake up...now...please...sir...Jack?" her voice was a whisper and she felt the tears work their way back out of the box as she pleaded with him. She waited for him to react. To wake up and say that everything was going to be peachy. But he didn't. She found herself continuing to talk to him. Saying nothing. Saying everything. Saying anything. Saying what she had been feeling for so long, now. "I was pretty sure that I was done with relationships when I got my transfer here. After Jonas, I figured that my weakness for the lunatic fringe was God's way of telling me to stay single. Then I walk into the briefing room and I see you..." "I'm still not 100% certain there were other people in the briefing room that first time. I heard you tell me that you didn't want me on your team, and I figured you were a pig. Fine, I figured, I'd dealt with pigs before, and I knew I'd deal with them again. You looked at me and told me that it had nothing to do with me being a woman, and I couldn't breathe." She took his hand in hers, pressed the back of it to her cheek, and sighed. She loved his hands, strong, yet gentle, able to defend himself yet also rest on her shoulder in comfort. He had scars criss-crossing the backs, cutting through the dusting of hair there, a fine puzzle of barely there white lines, that she knew had come from his time as a hostage in Iraq. "I heard a song the other day, that made me stop and think. The line that got me was 'I don't want to wait for our lives to be over, I want to know right now what will it be?'..." She stopped, trying to form the sentences, but not knowing how to say what she wanted to. She sat there for what seemed like hours. "I wish I could blame this on the regs...Not knowing what to say, or how to say it..." she sighed. But that wouldn't be true. At this point, I don't really care what the regs say..." She paused, almost hearing his sarcastic reply. "Surprised? You should have been in my shoes when I realized that myself. Oh yeah, for a couple of years I bitched about how unfair it was. I finally found someone that I could..." She stumbled to a stop, trying to get back her control and continue to tell him what she needed to. "Anyway, after a while, I decided it was safe. I was safe having feelings for you, because I knew that nothing would happen. Oh but then, wham, right between the eyes, and I didn't give a damn about the regs. You were gone with Maybourne and I knew that I had to have you back, and I had to..." She paused, thinking he had just moved. Wishful thinking, but wishes and hope were all she had. "Sir? Can you hear me?" She waited scarcely breathing. Nothing. Everybody says that I'm so smart...How smart is it to fall in love with your CO?" He didn't seem to have an answer for that, either. So they sat there, neither of them speaking. Of course, the fact that Colonel O'Neill was unconscious gave him an excuse. Carter rubbed her thumb across his knuckles, trying to soothe herself and maybe, somehow, him. "You do realize that you're missing the playoffs, don't you? The Wild are still in the running...." The NHL playoffs had started and she knew he was a huge fan. She was desperate enough at this point to try almost anything to get him to wake up. She sat watching him breathe - the steady susurration soothing her frazzled nerves. She was content until she noticed that something was wrong. His chest wasn't moving in that comforting up and down motion. "Janet!" Sam screamed, just as the monitors started to scream as well. "He's not breathing! Janet!" The curtain was ripped back as doctors and nurses moved in. Sam was unceremoniously shoved out of the way as hands shoved a crash cart against the bed rail and someone started to intubate him. "He's in V-tac!" Sam recognized Dr Warner reaching for the paddles, handing them over to the diminutive doctor. "Set it at 200! Clear!" Sam couldn't see anything so she tried to stand. She was wobbly and nearly fell over until an arm was looped around her waist. She sagged against the tall, lean form, knowing subconsciously that it was Daniel. "What happened? "I don't know, he just stopped breathing. Daniel, he can't die." Sam shivered against her friend. "He won't, it's not his time." Daniel said with certainty. "He's not done here." Sam looked up into his blue eyes. "I thought you didn't remember..."" "I don't. I only have vague feelings from when I was ascended...I just don't think Jack's done here." He squeezed her waist. "Let's get you back to bed." "No, Daniel, please. Not until...." She begged him. He nodded and held her close. "Could you at least sit?" She smiled, a tight, worried smile. "I guess so." He helped her to the wheelchair. Dr. Warner came over to them and knelt down to speak with her, eye to eye. "There's been an increase in the inter-cranial pressure. The pressure on the brain stem has caused his autonomic functions to destabilize, causing his blood pressure to skyrocket and then plummet, repeatedly. This caused his heart to stop and made him stop breathing. We managed to restart his heart and he's breathing with the help of a ventilator. But, this will just happen again if we don't relieve the pressure in his skull. We need to take him into surgery and drill a small hole into his skull to relive the pressure." "Why don't you just go ahead and do it?" Sam asked, horrified but hopeful at the same time. "We need your permission, Major." Dr. Warner replied. "My permission? I don't understand." She looked at Daniel and then back over at the Doctor. "You are listed as his next of kin. It's in his file." Dr. Warner looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "You didn't know?" "I thought General Hammond made that kind of decision. Daniel, we should do it, right?" She craned around to look at Daniel as she asked, needing to see his eyes. "No disrespect intended Dr. Warner, but I think that we should talk to Janet." Daniel looked around for the CMO. Janet Fraser had just come into the room. She'd been in her office, on a call to a neurologist she had read about. "Daniel, Sam, if Dr. Warner thinks that this step is necessary, then I agree. We need you to decide, though. We don't have a lot of time." "Do it." Sam decided, making a command decision. "Now." Janet forcefully suggested that Sam get back into bed. Daniel helped her as the surgical team came in and made Jack ready for the operation. "He'll be fine, Sam. I'm going to get Teal'C, he'll want to be here." Daniel assured her. "Yeah," Sam looked for Janet, catching her eye as she hurried past. "Do me a favor, Janet?" The doctor stopped following O'Neill's gurney. "What Sam?" she asked kindly. "Don't let them shave his whole head." Sam pleaded. "He really wouldn't like it."
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DTG 141335Z Sep 04
"Incoming traveler, General. Sir, it's SG-11's IDC." Sergeant Davis reported in surprise when the Gate activated. Hammond stood at the large window overlooking the Gate room. He'd not been expecting SG-11 back this soon and was more than a little concerned. It was never a good thing when a team came home early. The General had hope, though, if for no other reason than the team coming home early wasn't SG-1. If it had been SG-1, somebody, most likely Dr. Jackson, would almost assuredly be coming back dead. Daniel Jackson seemed to be the only person in the Universe for whom death was never permanent. "Inform Colonel O'Neill and have him, SG-1, and the medical team report to the Gate room." Lieutenant Devon hesitated, looking around at his comrades on watch, and then picked up the phone and called O'Neill's office. The man, himself, answered. Everybody on the base knew O'Neill and most everyone had a strong opinion about the man -- half of the officers and most of the enlisted were either scared of him or in love with him (sometimes both at the same time). The guy was a God, or at the very least a God-killer, and he was the ultimate in cool. He could walk into any situation and come up with a really great comeback. There was a rumor that he had once told the President of the United States to pick up the phone and call him sometime -- maybe they'd go out for a beer. Colonel Jack O'Neill was the man every young recruit wanted to grow up to be. He led the best team, he got the best assignments, and if locker room hypothesis were correct, her got the best babe...Major Samantha Carter. The half of the rank and file that weren't in love with O'Neill, were in love with her. Devon informed the General that SG-1 was on their way down to the Gate room and then he melted into the background. If he were lucky, he'd get to hang around to see O'Neill and the rest of SG-1 in action. The flagship team was legendary within the SGC, their exploits nearly unimaginable, and only a few lucky airman got to work with them, one on one. Of course, the airmen who worked with SG-1 did tend to get knocked around a bit. Graeme Simmons had nearly died from a viral infection. But a lot of airmen, Simmons included, thought that the odds of surviving were worth it for the chance to work with the best. And SG-1 was the often imitated, never duplicated, best. The iris opened and the event horizon kawooshed into the room in a bright blue flash. Two members of SG-11 came through, carrying Major Phillips, their CO. The man looked like he was in a lot of pain. General Hammond moved down the stairs quickly, to join the ever- present Marines, at the foot of the metal ramp. "What happened Major?" Hammond had to raise his voice to be heard over the noise that was the Gate room. "I...uh...I... tripped over an...indigenous life form, sir." Major Timothy Phillips, veteran of Desert Storm, said, blushing. "Tripped? Indigenous life form?" "Yes, sir. It was...It was a weasel, sir." "A six foot long weasel, sir!" The team chemist, Dr. Sharyn Beven, piped up. She was the closest thing the team had to a medic. SG-11 was the science team, sent out after initial contact was made, to study anything of interest that was on a new planet. SG-1 had been to P3X-477 and Carter had found a rather large deposit of Naqada in a group of caves in a mountain range about half a kilometer from the Gate. So, a month later, SG-11 was sent there to study the planet. At the time that SG-1 was there, they hadn't discovered the six-foot long weasels, but it looked like the weasels owned the place. Hammond smothered a small smile. Now that he knew his team was safe, he felt like someone had removed a piano from his shoulders. A baby grand. He was also smiling because he knew the way these things worked out. From now on, these weasels would be known as 'Phillips Weasels' in any, and all, documentation. The Major had just gotten into the history books, maybe probably not in any way he'd ever imagined. "Get Major Phillips to the infirmary." General Hammond ordered. "Dr Beven, Lt Kyle, where is the rest of your team?" "Sir, Dr's Marcus and Llewellyn stayed to continue on with the geological survey. There is a huge deposit of Naqada on P3X-477, larger than we first thought. I think that Seamus and I should get back there, sir." Sharyn had taken the defacto leadership of the team with the Major out of action By this time, SG-1 had joined the others in the Gate room. Teal'C stood back observing, his gaze unwavering. Daniel had a puzzled, distant look on his face, as if he were thinking about something that wasn't in the room. Carter was soaking up the information the new arrivals had brought them, with an intense interest, and O'Neill... Well, O'Neill just looked happy to be out of his office and away from the paper work that seemed to haunt his every movement. "With SG-11's team leader out of commission, we can't leave the rest of the team alone in the field." Hammond remarked to the group at large. Carter was excited to hear that there was more Naqada on the planet then they had originally thought. The mineral was very important, in fact it was vital, to the defense of earth against the Goa'uld. SG-1 wasn't scheduled to go off-world again for at least a week so she volunteered. "Sir, I could go...?" Hammond and O'Neill looked at each other. The General had been waiting for an opportunity like this to present itself. He had wanted Major Carter to get more Command experience and SG-11 and their current mission was a good opportunity for her to lead. "Colonel, is there any reason why Major Carter couldn't temporarily lead SG-11?" Hammond asked, after a momentary pause to weigh the idea. "Lead?" 'Oh shit', Jack thought. "Uh, I was going to suggest giving us a few minutes and SG-1 would go, but... Yes, sir. Sure, I guess there's no reason that Carter couldn't go...Unless she's left something boiling in her lab?" This was the moment he'd been dreading for the last three years. Carter was getting her own command, albeit a temporary one, but her own command none the less. This meant one thing: She was moving away from him. One of the main reasons O'Neill hadn't retired was that he wasn't ready to leave her alone, unprotected. This was a crazy thought, because he knew that she was more than able to protect herself, but he felt if he were around then maybe she wouldn't get hurt...as often. Almost as important for him was the plain and simple fact that as the CO of her own team, Carter wouldn't need him. She was more than ready for command. Hell, she'd been a Major for a long enough to qualify for a promotion any day now. She had the seniority and, face it, she was the smartest person he'd ever met, inside or out of the military. It was just that as long as she was a part of SG-1, he felt that she needed him. And, in some respects, he was her equal. Yes, he outranked her, but as her CO there was a respect that he couldn't quite feel he would deserve if they were both leading teams. Even in his mind that sounded petty and perhaps a little macho, but there you had it. A very large part of him was scared that they would have nothing if he wasn't her CO. And he was very afraid that this petty little part of him was going to show itself right now and spoil what the rest of him knew was a good chance for her. "If you think it's necessary, SG-1 could all go..." Carter said. Evidently, it wasn't registering with her that O'Neill didn't want her to have her own command, so she wasn't disappointed. "Uhm, I've got some work to do here..." Daniel muttered. "Would I be really necessary?" "Well, no." O'Neill replied. None of them would be, other than Carter, but still. "Teal'C and I could go, to...uh, watch out for the killer weasels..." "Colonel?" Dr. Beven started. "It was really an accident that we ran into this weasel. Uh, Major Phillips, needed to...um...use a tree, and sort of stumbled over it. It stood up on its hind legs and hissed at him. The Major was understandably startled and twisted his ankle trying to get clear." 'He buggered up his ankle taking a leak in the woods,' O'Neill thought. What kind of CO's were they sending the SGC? "Then it's settled. Major, grab your gear. You'll serve as the temporary CO of SG-11 while they complete their mission on P3X-477. You have a go in one half hour." Hammond smiled at Carter in a clearly paternal fashion, feeling a sense of pride for this young woman. He would enjoy telling Jacob of this when the man next showed up at the SGC. He actually would leave out the fact that Colonel O'Neill looked ready to throw himself in front of the Gate to keep Carter from heading off on this mission alone. Hammond had a daughter of his own, and he didn't know how he would have handled it if her boss had "feelings" for her. The Colonel was doing nothing wrong, and Hammond knew that Carter had her own feelings for O'Neill. The whole 'let's get a satellite to rescue the Colonel' idea was only the most recent hint. But O'Neill was still her direct CO. Perhaps, if the SG-11 mission went well, Carter could have her own command and that little regulation could be bypassed?
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Twenty minutes later, Carter was geared-up and was getting a few last- minute things to get ready to go through the Gate to P3X-477. She'd grabbed some of her equipment, her specialized doohickeys, as the Colonel called them, to take specific readings. She wanted to see the formations that the Naqada deposits were in and how deep they were under the ground. Her mind was on her upcoming adventure, so much so that she didn't notice O'Neill standing in the doorway of her lab. He watched her moving around her lab, every movement made with an economy that spoke so much about her. She wasn't a lazy woman, in fact, he had ordered her to go home and rest more than once. She could focus so hard on the current problem at hand that she didn't come up for air. But in her movements, there was an economy and grace and a minimum of unnecessary movements. He'd made a study of her, her movements, her smell, her smile... After seven years together he knew her and her moods well. Right now, she was in scientist mode and, when she was like this, there was no talking to her. He must have made a noise because right then Carter looked up. It took her eyes a moment to focus and... If he were a dreamer, O'Neill would have said he saw hunger there, a deeper yearning that Sam Carter had for Jack O'Neill, before the shutters of "Major" Carter dropped back over those clear eyes, hiding Sam behind her... But years of battle had killed the dreamer that Jack O'Neill had been, so he knew that what he had seen was her eagerness to get on with the adventure at hand...the next, well- deserved step in her career. "Colonel? Is there anything I can do for you?" "Just checking to see if you've changed your mind." "Changed my mind, sir?" Her brow puckered just a bit at that. "About needing me...to ward off the killer weasels?" He was trying to make her laugh. If she was going to be gone for a while, he needed one more giggle to hold him. Her smile lit the room, but her laugh...it made this strong man go weak in the knees... And this train of thought was sickening, even to him. O'Neill had known that he cared about his 2IC for a long time. He had also known for a long time that what was between them was a little more than what a normal 2IC and CO felt for one another. He'd once said that he'd rather die himself than lose her. But that wasn't true anymore. He would no longer die rather than lose her, because he wouldn't be able to live if he lost her. Dying was easy, but living without his heart would be impossible. What he felt for Sam had been a lightening bolt out of the blue. She'd been run through Niirti's machine and was about to liquefy at his feet, when he realized that she was his heart. His heart, an organ he had thought only used to pump blood through his body, shattered like fine crystal when the men had come and taken her from their cell. He watched from behind bars, and felt absolutely useless, unable to do anything to keep her safe. Rage, like he'd felt only a few times before, had burned through him when Carter had leaned her damp forehead against his shoulder. Rage like he'd felt when Charlie had died, when Skaar'a was taken as a host, and when Daniel had asked him to stop Jacob, had burned through him, screaming her name. Now she was leaving him of her own accord. She was moving herself away from him and proving that she didn't need him. His heart, healed by that machine in Niirti's lab that had given Carter back to him, shattered again. She'd gone on her own before, but for some reason, this time was different. This time it felt as if it could be permanent. Sam was still looking at him while he stared back. For a brief instant, it looked as if her CO was in pain. She wondered if she had time to ask Janet if there was something she should be concerned about. She wouldn't leave if the Colonel wasn't well. As excited as she was about this task, he meant more to her than any amount of Naqada ever could. He hated the infirmary and avoided it like the plague, but Janet would know if he was ill. As quickly as it came the look went. He gave her a cocky smile and pulled himself upright from where he was leaning against the doorframe. "Okay, but don't blame me if you get nibbled on by a killer weasel." O'Neill waved jauntily and walked away from her lab, heading for the Operations room -- to watch her leave him. He hoped he wouldn't make a fool of himself in front of everyone. Teal'C and Daniel would know something was up, but he could handle them. He had been doing that for years. As far as he was concerned, no one knew how deeply he felt for Carter, and he was determined he was going to keep it that way.
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DTG 170605Z SEP 04
People had been diving down corridors to avoid Jack O'Neill recently. The man whose sarcasm was known throughout the galaxy, had become downright grumpy. He'd made two new recruits cry, over photocopies of all things. He'd been doing paperwork, a task that he truly, truly hated, and he had needed to make copies of expense reports. Unfortunately there was a young airman, new to her post, in the resource office. She had innocently asked O'Neill why he hadn't just used the online version of the fitness report, and he blew. He wasn't a man to take his frustrations out on others, but he'd had a long day. The second person to run afoul of him was a medical clerk. It was well known that Colonel O'Neill didn't like the infirmary at the best of times, but add that to that the fact that he was already in a mood, and the base FPCON should have been upgraded to red alert. He'd needed monthly injury stats for one of his many reports and had walked into the file room and asked a young staff sergeant for a copy of the reports he needed. The young man had the nerve to ask if the Colonel had filed a requisition. When O'Neill was finished with him, he was wondering if he had chosen the right career. At the moment O'Neill was sitting in his office, just as happy to avoid people as they were to avoid him. He was throwing crumpled pieces of paper in to a garbage can across the room. He'd made five in a row and was setting up number six when the door opened and Daniel Jackson stuck his face in. "Jack?" "What?!" O'Neill growled but didn't look away from his shot on the garbage can goal. "Have you had lunch?" "No." O'Neill tossed the sixth crumpled piece of paper into the garbage can. "Do you want to?" "What?" "Have lunch?" "Now?" "No, tomorrow." "I'll check my schedule for tomorrow and let you know." "Okay Jack, what's wrong?" The Colonel looked up, confused. "What? Nothing, nothing is wrong. Don't you have something to do other than bothering me?" Wasn't the reason that SG-1 hadn't gone to P3X-477 the fact that Daniel had some 'stuff' to do? "Yes, it seems that I have to protect the base...from you. Let's go!" Daniel opened the door wide and walked fully into the room. "What's that supposed to mean?" "You've been banned from the clerical department...and the infirmary support staff has threatened to walk if you so much a slip a toe into their realm." Daniel frowned at his friend. It hadn't gone unnoticed by him that Jack's attitude had started just after Sam had gone through the Gate, alone. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "What the hell is what supposed to mean?" "I've been banned?" "Well Jack, you've been a little testy lately." "Huh?" "You yelled at Staff Sergeant Potter for leaving a wrench on the floor." "Well someone could have tripped over it!" "The man was shifting to get a better position under the desk. He had put the damn thing down so he could use both of his hands!" "Look, Daniel, if you have something to say, say it and get outta here. I'm busy." "Jack, I have been saying it, Teal'C has been saying it, hell I think even General Hammond has said it. You are being one nasty son of a bitch and it has to stop...before someone pulls out a Zat and drops you." Jack refused to even acknowledge that one, while he contemplated whether or not Hammond would have noticed that much. "She'll be back soon, Jack." "Who?" Daniel rolled his eyes. Jack had made playing dumb a work of art. "Sam...SG-11 will be back, probably tonight." "Oh, is Carter coming home tonight?" Jack O'Neill just didn't play innocence well. "Yes, Carter is coming home tonight...jeez Jack." "What?" "Don't. Just don't play dumb with me. I don't buy it." "Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I've been feeling a little tired lately, so I'm sorry if I haven't been all rose petals and kittens." "Have you seen Janet?" "Janet? Why?" "Well maybe you're coming down with something. Janet could run a few tests..." "A) I don't need any damn tests, and B) I thought I wasn't allowed into the infirmary?" Daniel walked over to the desk. He sat in the extra chair Jack had, and sighed. "Okay, talk to me." "THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!" "Jack?" Daniel held up his hands when Jack picked up a stapler to throw at him. "Let's go get some lunch...off of the base." Jack sighed. "Okay, I'll go, if you'll just shut up about Carter." "Fine, not a word. We'll go into town and grab a steak...You know, the one thing I remember missing when I was ascended, was a nice juicy medium rare steak, with sautéed mushrooms and a baked potato." "Yeah, well I guess when you are ascended you don't have to worry about heart disease. You wanna get Teal'C?" "Let's go get him and head over to O'Malley's. He's got a new hat he's been dying to wear." "Oh boy, if it's one of the ones from Cassie, I'm not sure we want to be seen with him." "That bad?" "Well, let's say they've become rather colourful lately." Daniel just looked at his friend. They'd known each other longer than anybody else in the SGC, and Daniel had seen Jack at his worst. There was something really bothering the man and it was up to Daniel to find out what. "Jack, you really okay?" "I've been buried in paperwork for the last week, I'm tired and edgy. I don't like sitting behind a desk." "Is that all? I mean, she's led SG-1 when you've been out of commission..." "What are you yammering on about Daniel?" "Sam." Jack stood and began to pace the width of his office. "Did you hit your head recently Danny-boy?" He only called the younger man 'Danny-boy' to wind him up. "No Jack, I haven't hit my head. You, on the other hand, have been acting like an ass. Did you and Sam argue before she left?" "Major Carter and I don't argue. She was my second in command, and may have questioned my orders a time or two, but we've never argued." "*Was* your second in command, Jack?" Damn his linguistic brain, Jack thought. He hadn't meant to put that in the past tense. "Is, Daniel. She is my second in command. Samantha Carter *is* my second in command and we've never fought, about anything. Why are you so obsessed with her? Something I should know about the two of you?" "You know you can talk to me Jack?" "What have I been*doing*? Miming?" Jack picked up the phone on his desk and dialled Teal'C's quarters. "Hey T, Daniel and I are heading into town for lunch...You wanna come? Okay then meet us in the parking lot in fifteen." Jack turned back to Daniel. "Teal'C'll meet us upstairs. I want to change." The two men were dressed in their green BDU's and though they were at the height of fashion 28 stories down in Cheyenne Mountain, they would draw unwanted attention topside. Especially since they weren't marked with rank and had the SGC emblems on the sleeves. Daniel looked down at what he was wearing and decided that street clothes would be a better way to go, so he followed Jack to the locker room. Daniel did notice how Jack's eyes slid over to the women's locker room. Before Daniel had gone away, Sam would have to wait for them to be done using the locker room. Then she'd go in and get ready. Since he'd ascended, the Powers That Be had added a women's locker room, so that the 'girls' didn't have to share with the 'boys'. Daniel had heard that Sam had done the 'dance of joy' when it was opened. After six years of sharing the showers with Marines and Air Force flyboys, she'd developed a strong stomach for filth. She had always felt that the women of the SGC deserved their own locker room. It didn't take them long to change, off with the khaki pants on with the denim. Jack and Daniel headed off to the elevator, arguing about what exactly they were going to have for lunch. Jack, normally a meat and potatoes kinda guy, had changed his mind and was thinking Italian. Daniel still wanted his steak. They knew it wouldn't matter to Teal'C, as he seemed to eat more salad than the Easter bunny. For a large man, he didn't seem to need a lot of protein. The three of them headed for town in Daniel's Jeep. He'd had to buy a few things when he'd returned, but Jack and the gang had kept his Jeep, letting Jonas use it when he needed to be mobile. Daniel was still getting used to the fact that Jonas had been using his stuff, his tools, his office, his computer, his Jeep...He was trying not to be bothered by it. It was a funny thing to see the three men walking into a room. Not one of them noticed that every female head, from 16 to 60, turned to follow them. Carter knew, and had promised herself that she would never mention it, because these three men already had pretty healthy egos. It didn't hurt her ego though, to be seen in the company of three very different, but very attractive men. Janet had teased her about it once, when the doctor had joined them for a night out. They had just received their meal when Jack's cell phone rang. Very few people had the number, so everyone at the table knew it was important. "O'Neill." Jack answered his phone. Teal'C and Daniel watched their friend pale slightly at whatever he was being told. Jack's replies were short and to the point and they watched as he stood and threw down some money. They were leaving. "Jack?" Daniel questioned as he fished his keys out of his pocket. "SG-11 has requested back up." O'Neill growled quietly. "They're not alone anymore." Both Teal'C and Daniel knew what that meant. Goa'uld, or at the very least Jaffa, had come through the Gate to P3X-477 and Sam was there with a group of scientists and one very young Lieutenant. She needed them. Now.
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DTG 170805Z SEP 04
The three men didn't speak as they made their way back to the mountain. They shouldered their way past the guards, who knew them, flashing ID. They changed elevators on level 10, and finally arrived on level 21 where they stormed the locker room. In ten minutes, from parking lot on their way to Gate room, SG-1 was ready to kick butt. They were barreling down the hallway, geared up for a rescue mission when they ran into Sam and Dr Llywellen. She was smiling and, if O'Neill wasn't mistaken, flirting. It looked like flirting...Yup definitely flirting...With Dr. Llywellen. "Oh, hi sir, guys..." She grinned at her team mates. "We were just going to the infirmary...Did I miss something? Is SG-1 heading out?" It took a lot to stun Jack O'Neill, and looking at his 2IC standing there as nice as you please, did it. He dropped his vest to the floor and stood there with his mouth open. "Carter?" It took him a second to get his voice working and when he did her name came out like a growl. "MajorCarter, we were informed that your team was under attack." Teal'C beat Daniel to the punch and forestalled O'Neill's own angry statement. "Well, yes and no." Carter made a 'just one moment' gesture and smiled at Dr. Llywellen. "Gwyn, why don't you go ahead to the infirmary? I'll be up in a minute." "Sure Sam..." He headed down the hallway past the other men, then paused and turned back to her. "Hey it was great working with you. Should I salute you?" The young geologist gave a cheeky grin, a very non-military salute, and a wink as he headed for the elevator. "What happened, Sam?" Daniel reached out and touched her arm, drawing her eyes and attention away from the departing man. "We got a message that you were under Goa'uld attack. We were just coming to get you." "Hey, I'm a big girl, guys, I don't need you to ride to my rescue every time." Carter smiled at them, softening her emphatic words a bit.. "The Jaffa came through the Gate, they sniffed around and they left. Lieutenant Kyle reported back when the Jaffa got between us and him at the Gate." Carter had taken the time to look at Kyle's personnel file. He was new to the SGC and young -- younger than she thought she'd ever been. The Lieutenant had panicked, a rookie mistake, made by a rookie soldier. The team was fine and they made it home okay. While Carter was filling them in, O'Neill had picked up his vest and got ready to return his weapons to the armory. He nodded at Carter's explanation and walked away, leaving Daniel and Teal'C to escort her to Doc Fraser. He was going to report to the General and then, if he wasn't necessary, he planned to go home. He'd done enough paperwork for this lifetime. The General apologized for pulling them in from their lunch break, telling O'Neill that he'd tried to call him back again, but they'd obviously already been in the complex and his cell phone turned off by then. Hammond told him that he wasn't necessary for the time being, so O'Neill headed off of the base. Carter had finally come out and said it: She didn't need him anymore, and he was going to have to think about that, whether he wanted to or not.
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By the time Carter and SG-11 were finished briefing the General, it was dinnertime. She headed for the commissary and found two of her three SG-1 team mates. "Hi, what's for dinner?" She asked Daniel and Teal'C, eyeing the contents of their plates. Teal'C looked up from the massive bowl of salad greens sitting in front of him. "It is an item called Chicken Caesar Salad." "Can I join you?" "Of course, MajorCarter." She gathered her meal from the cafeteria line and sat down at the table with Teal'C and Daniel. Carter was surprised that O'Neill wasn't there and asked where he was. "I think he headed home." Daniel replied. "Ohh." She tried to hide her disappointment. "I wanted to tell him about the mission." "I am sure that O'Neill will return in the morning. The two of you may discuss your mission then." Teal'C's voice was even and heavy in his stoic way. "He's been doing paperwork..." Daniel jumped in, sounding a bit desperate even to his own ears. "Any fatalities?" "A couple of clerks got crisped, but nothing that won't heal."
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DTG 191443Z SEP 04
She missed him. It had come to Carter as she tried, for the fourth time, to focus on her report. It really annoyed her that she missed his goofy little interruptions to her work. But she did. It had only been a couple of days, but he hadn't come by. She knew he was on the base. Daniel and Teal'C had both mentioned seeing him, yet she hadn't seen him since she'd run into him in the corridor right after her mission. It was futile to keep staring at the blinking cursor that had seriously started to taunt her. Was there something wrong with the Colonel? Had she angered him, or insulted him in some way? He'd always come by to see how she was before, and, since her close call with Niirti and the loss of their friends on Abydos, she had felt that they were closer. Not as close as she wanted, but as close as they could be. She pushed down the screen on her laptop and stood. She stretched her arms above her and listened to the symphony of snaps, pops and cracks her spine made after sitting on that stool for three hours straight. Thirty eight years old and her back was starting to sound like the Colonel's knees. She really should go find him. Carter was known throughout the galaxy for her thinking. Supreme Commander Thor had made his way across the cosmos for her 'dumb' ideas. At this very moment though, her thought processes were at the "fire bad, tree pretty" stage. She couldn't think of how she was going to find out what was wrong with the Colonel, without sounding like a teenager. 'Colonel O'Neill, do you still like me?' Carter thought and snorted at herself. That stopped her because she'd actually snorted. 'Oh Samantha Carter, you are such a babe.' She waited for the elevator. Why her lab was on level 19 and his office was on level 22 had always confused her. It was if the powers that be had known something even before they knew each other. Pressing the down button, she began humming her own elevator music. It was a song she'd heard on the radio earlier that morning, as she was getting dressed. The song was about a woman questioning her...husband?...lover?...about their relationship. The chorus had struck a chord with her, deep down, causing an unexplained pang of sorrow to pass through her. She walked out of the elevator and headed for the Colonel's office. Low and behold, he wasn't there. That, in itself, didn't surprise her, as he hated paperwork and the only thing that there was to do in the small room was paperwork. Well, paperwork and playing the Gameboy he had hidden in the top right hand drawer. She needed coffee so she turned on her heel and headed for the commissary. There he was, sitting at a table with Teal'C and Daniel, eating Jell-O and smiling. Another jolt of pain zinged through her like a Zat blast as she saw the three of them together. She'd gotten over the fact that Daniel hadn't visited her from the great beyond, hadn't she? She'd gotten over the feeling of betrayal that assaulted her when she found out about his visits to the Colonel and Teal'C hadn't she? So why did it hurt her to see the three of them sitting together having coffee without her? Didn't they need her anymore? She pushed the thought out of her mind as she grabbed a coffee and headed over to them. "Sam, hi." Daniel looked genuinely surprised to see her. "MajorCarter." "Major." Why did it suddenly feel ten degrees cooler in here? "Hi? Having coffee without me? She smiled at them. She'd try joking, it worked for the Colonel didn't it.? "Did I do something to tick you guys off? Forget somebody's birthday? Commit a Jaffa faux pas?" "Of course not." Daniel pulled out the chair beside him. Teal'C and O'Neill were sitting across from him and the empty chair was across from Teal'C. She took her seat, as far away from him as was possible at the small table and was about to launch into a description of her mission, when O'Neill dropped his spoon. "I'm sorry, I just remembered I need to make a call. Later kids." O'Neill stood to leave. He gathered his cup and Jell-O dish and headed off to his office. "Is it just me...?" Carter's question trailed off as she realized that neither of the two men left at the table could look her in the eye. "What?" Her gut clenched as their reticence clued her in that she wasn't imagining things. "I don't know Sam, Jack just hasn't been himself lately." Daniel shrugged. "DanielJackson is correct, O'Neill has not been acting like he usually does. I believe he my be ill." "Uh, yeah. I don't think he's really...sick, Teal'C...Uh he's just tired. Yeah, tired...hasn't been sleeping well..." Daniel was babbling. He sucked back a mouthful of coffee and tried not to look suspicious. "I've got to go. I have a translation going that needs me." Daniel stood and bolted out of the room. His tail, if he'd had one, would have been on fire. The Jaffa only raised an eyebrow. "Teal'C what's going on here?" "I do not know." "I'm going to talk to Daniel. He knows something..." Teal'C watched the blonde woman run out of the room after the archaeologist. He pitied the younger man. Major Carter could be very persuasive. Then again, so could he... "And I will speak to O'Neill." He said aloud, making a passing airman give him a strange look.
She was concerned, she was scared, but most of all she was pissed that Daniel was holding back. Nothing was a terrifying as a pissed- off Major Samantha Carter. "Daniel?" She practically yelled, as she flung open the door to his lab so hard that she caused a framed map to twist sideways on the wall He jumped, spilled coffee on his desk and actually squawked at the invasion. "Sam?! What?!" "Tell me!" She entered and closed the door closed as hard as she had flung it opened. He was going to need new hinges. "What?" "You are hiding something from me. What is it? Is the Colonel sick?" "Sick? Jack? Not that I know of. Why?" Okay, this was her conundrum. She knew that he knew about Him and Her and how She felt about Him and how He felt about Her. But she wasn't so sure that he disapproved of the way that She felt about Him and He felt about Her. After all, he wasn't military and, more often than not, he didn't hold well with some of the more problematic military codes. But both He and She were military and, as the Jimney Cricket of the team, he would expect both of Them to honor Their commitments and not break the regs. And She knew that the last thing that They would ever want to do would be to make him and Teal'C uncomfortable about Them... She knew that none of that made sense. It would make even less sense if she actually tried to say it aloud. But, it made sense in her head and that was all that mattered. "He's been acting...odd..." "Jack O'Neill acting odd. Gee, let me think? Is that unusual?" Daniel had been hanging out with the Colonel far too much -- the sarcasm was catching. "The man could be the poster boy for odd, Sam." "Okay, fine, he's acting odder than usual. He..." she sucked in a huge breath and launched "hehasn'tcometovisitmeinmylabsinceI'vebeenbackfromP3X- 744." She said it quickly, hoping that it didn't sound as lame to him as it did to her. Daniel pulled off his glasses and began wiping them with the tail of his jacket. This was his number one 'I-don't-know-what-to-say-so-I'm- going-to-kill-time-while-I-think-it-over' time killer. She knew it. And he knew she knew it. She knew that he knew that she knew it, too. Again this was only making sense in her head. "Daniel, he's avoiding me." "Sam, I don't think he's consciously avoiding you...He's just been...off...for the last couple of days." "Daniel!!" She felt like stamping her feet and jumping up and down. If it wouldn't have been very un-Major-like, Sam would have stamped her feet and jumped up and down. She was very close to throwing a spectacular tantrum. "Sam "Have you three decided that you don't need me anymore?" Sam had always switched gears faster than anyone Daniel knew, but he suffered whip-lash at this change in topic. "Are you crazy?" He asked. Sam kicked at the big desk in the middle of the room and he thought he heard her sob. She looked like she wanted to scream...Or cry. Or to rant and rave. But he knew she couldn't or wouldn't. Her knees gave out and she ended up sitting on the floor of his lab with a look of intense misery on her face It hurt him to see her this way. "Sam?" He sat beside her and did something he rarely ever considered doing with anyone on his team. He took his friend into his arms, held her close and began to rock. He needed to soothe this woman. That's what you did for family and she was the closest thing he had to family. "What are you talking about? Of *course* we need you...Why would you ever think we don't need you? SG-1 is a family." "You didn't come see me..." She whispered it in a small, thick voice that didn't sound at all like the kick-ass soldier who had saved his life so many times in the past. "It's eight am, I didn't know you were here yet." She sniffed. Sam didn't like to cry, which was probably the reason that she didn't do it often. Everybody knows big-girl Majors don't cry. "When you ascended...You came to see the Colonel, and Teal'C...But you didn't come to see me." "Sam, I don't remember much from when I was ascended, I'm sorry..." "They didn't tell me that they saw you...Kept it from me...Like I wouldn't have wanted to know that you were okay." "Sam." He rubbed her back, helpless to explain what he could not recall. "I'm sure that they had their reasons..." As if she didn't hear him, she went on. "And then today, I walk in to the commissary and you're all sitting there, talking and laughing, and not even noticing that I'm not there." "Sam, where is this coming from?" "He hasn't come to visit me, Daniel. He always comes to visit, to see what I'm working on, even if he doesn't understand it. He hasn't come to ask me about the mission, or the results of the tests, which were phenomenal by the way." "I don't know Sam..." Daniel sighed. How did he explain Jack O'Neill, playing turtle and pulling away from everyone who cared about him? "I tried to get him to open up last week. He wouldn't talk to me about what's bothering him." "Why?" "I wish I could tell you. Come on, let's get up and have that coffee." "Could we just stay here for a bit?" What could he say to that? He settled back and listened to the rhythm of her breathing.
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"O'Neill." "Hey T...Whas'sup?" "Are you unwell?" "Huh?" "You have not been behaving in your normal manner for many days. Are you unwell?" "I'm fine...What do ya mean not myself?" "You have been...Unusually short tempered." O'Neill looked at his friend, his eyes scrunching up at the corners as he tried to figure out what the man was getting at. Teal'C rarely said anything personal. He usually needed a pretty strong hint to involve himself in one of his human friends' emotional twists. It wasn't that he didn't care. On the contrary, the people of the SGC were as much his family as Ry'ac and Bray'tac, but emotions were a subject he avoided. Most Jaffa tended to ignore everything but devotion to their God. So, this outright interrogation was unlike Teal'C. "I'm fine. Maybe a little tired, but I'm fine." "Perhaps you should visit DrFrasier?" "Why is everyone trying to get me to see the Doc? Listen when I say this T: I. Am. Fine." O'Neill ran his hand through his short hair in frustration. "We are...concerned." Attempting a staring contest with a Jaffa was never a smart idea...It was an even worse one when you were actually trying to hide something from said Jaffa. O'Neill realized his mistake almost immediately and looked away. At one time, he'd been in Special Forces and was trained to hide all emotion from probing eyes. Lately, he might just as well have been wearing a sign saying "I'm upset...Ask me about it!" The big man just stood there staring at him. Letting him play out the line until he decided it was time to hang himself with it. O'Neill looked at everything but his friend. Finally, Teal'C's unending patience won out and O'Neill looked at him. "Close the door, please." The Colonel sat behind his desk, but it was Jack O'Neill who spoke to his friend. "Oh man, I've never been good at these heart-to-heart things T..." One eyebrow arched up. "Perhaps then, I am not the person to which you should be saying these things of the heart." "Huh?" "Perhaps you should be having this...heart-to-heart...with someone else?" "Daniel was in here the other day...I couldn't talk to him either." "I was not referring to DanielJackson." "I'm not ready for McKenzie." "O'Neill." "Yeah, yeah I know. It's ridiculous.' Teal'C waited. He had been through this six months before, when O'Neill had disappeared and MajorCarter had been upset. "I'm...I think Carter is looking to move on...To her own team." "MajorCarter would be a fine choice as the leader of any SG team." "Goes without saying, Teal'C." "Then why should this be a concern?" "Dammit Teal'C, she's been ready for this for years...*I'm* the one who isn't." Eyebrow up, head tilt to the right. "If she's not part of SG-1, she won't need me...Hell she doesn't need me anyway." Whoever said it helps to talk was a horrible liar. It really didn't feel any better having said it. "I do not understand, O'Neill." "She's super-smart, younger, faster and basically better off without me." "You are a very good leader O'Neill. I know for a certainty that MajorCarter believes this as well." "AARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!" Teal'C was having an internal battle, not that anyone would know. He had information that would ease his friend's mind. He also had made an unspoken commitment to MajorCarter, to keep her feelings between them. He knew that if O'Neill would just talk to MajorCarter, his knowledge of her feelings would be shared. That made his decision easier.
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The alarms drove Sam and Daniel to their feet and out the door. By the time they'd made it to the elevator the cacophony and light show had stopped. That meant one of two things, and both SG-1 members hoped to hell it was that the incoming traveller was friend not foe. Daniel's lab was down the hall from Sam's, which meant that they were on level 19 when they caught the elevator. Sam hit the button for level 28 and the elevator began it's decent. It stopped once and O'Neill and Teal'C stepped in. Nothing was said as the car finished it's swift downward journey. O'Neill noticed Carter's sniffy nose and red-rimmed eyes. O'Neill noticed everything about Carter, always had and always would...if given the opportunity. It looked as if she'd been crying, but the Carter he knew, didn't cry, at least not often and not easily. Maybe she had allergies...Were they contagious? The door opened and SG-1 filed out. O'Neill put hand on his 2IC's arm. "Major, you okay?" This was the most he had said to her in a week. She didn't speak just nodded once and looked straight ahead. Her emotions were still running high but at least he'd acknowledged her. The Colonel wanted to grab her by the arms and shake her. Why now? What had happened to change everything? He was used to being frustrated by her. In fact, in a sick kind of way he almost welcomed the feeling. But that was usually because she was looking at him with those beautiful blue eyes, babbling in a language that occasionally resembled English, or she was breathing and he was turned on like a school-boy. This feeling of fear, frustration and a double scoop of self-pity was new, and very unloved. The four had made their way down the corridor, swiping security cards and dodging Marines, to the big door with C4 painted on it. It slid open and they were all startled to see who had come through the Gate. If life came with cartoon thought bubbles there would have been a huge "OH FUCK!" hanging over Jack O'Neill's head. "Dad!?"
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"So, as I was telling George, things have slowed down a little since Anubis went...Well you know, so I thought I'd put in for a little leave. Surprisingly, the Tok'ra don't do that, a lot." Sam was having a second cup of what the commissary jokingly refereed to as coffee. Everybody had made their way to the large conference room that over looked the Gate, to hear why Jacob Carter was there. As close as she and her Dad had become lately, Sam wasn't all that thrilled to have him there. Ten years ago, he wouldn't have had a clue that she was unhappy. Hell, ten years ago he wouldn't have been around, but now, with the help of Selmac, her Dad had become pretty in-tune with his "little girl's" feelings. She could tell from the way his eyes narrowed that he'd know right away that something wasn't right between her and her CO. And, with the help of Selmac, she knew he'd wade right in. "So," he patted her hand. "Can you spend a couple days having fun with an old man?" O'Neill caught himself before he could embarrass himself by laughing out loud. He'd had those thoughts on numerous occasions, but had never had the guts to ask her...Unless you count a couple of lame fishing invites. "Old man, Dad?" She smiled, but somebody had forgotten to tell the sparkle in her eyes to show up for work. She looked tired to him. "Well, Selmac is the oldest and wisest..." He could have sworn he'd heard Jack mutter, 'and most annoying' but he wasn't positive. "...Among us." He knew that he still had some pretty long strings he could pull when he turned to his old friend and asked simply, "George?" Hammond smiled. "Of course Jake...SG-1 you are officially off-duty for a long weekend. Have fun." It was early Thursday morning and if she'd been in fighting shape, Carter would have made some excuse to haul herself down to her lab, until one of her friends had forced her to go, but not today. The Colonel was staring out the window at the Gate, after hardly saying more than five consecutive words in a row to her Dad. He looked as if he'd jump at the chance to get away from her...from the base, she corrected herself out of the habit of never letting it be personal, for a few days. She pulled herself to her feet and said. "Your stuff's where it always is in the locker room, Dad. I'll be in my lab when you're ready to go." Carter 'senior's' own feelings of intuition perked up as he watched his daughter shuffle from the room. She usually had more, he searched for the right word..."Bounce, Jacob" Selmac supplied for him, than that. What's more, the Colonel, sitting to his right, was also decidedly, un-bouncy as well. Uh-oh, something was not right in paradise. Daniel decided that now would be a good time to flee and offered Teal'C a means of escape as well. "Teal'C, they're running a marathon Star Trek weekend on cable. Why don't you come stay at my place?" "That would be much appreciated DanielJackson." Teal'C had noticed that Jacob Carter was homing in on the tensions between his daughter and O'Neill. As a father himself, Teal'C would have wanted an explanation. But he was not the cruel man Jacob Carter was when it came to the Major and her CO. The elder Carter loved his daughter and loved to drive O'Neill insane, so this was a win/win situation for the former General. O'Neill was a dead man walking, and Teal'C felt a bit satisfied, on Major Carter's behalf.
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The Carters sat around Sam's house that afternoon, catching each other up on what had been happening in their respective lives. Sam tried desperately not to let her Dad see that she was unhappy. She was unsuccessful. "Okay, spill it Sammy." Jacob only used her childhood nickname when he was "parenting" her. "There's nothing to 'spill', Dad." "It's a good thing you didn't go into NID...You can't lie worth a damn. "Da'ad?!" She moaned, reverting suddenly to the sing-song voice she'd used when she was 17. "Wha'at?" He replied in the same sing-song voice. "I'm not lying. There's *nothing* wrong." "Sammy...you know that you and I can talk. Is it work?" "No, Dad. There isn't any trouble at work." "Is it...uhm a relationship thing?" 'Please don't let it be a relationship thing...My little girl isn't having sex...No. No. No.' Jacob lowered his head and after a quick moment he looked up at her again, his eyes flashed once. Selmac was now speaking to her. "Samantha..." Her Father's Tok'ra - altered voice always sent a shiver down her spine when she first heard it. Even after all these years. It was her Dad, yet it wasn't. Selmac knew better how Jacob felt about her than Sam did. "Your father is having a difficult time finding the words to express himself." "My Dad? At a loss for words? I find that hard to believe." "He's having a hard time finding the *right* words...He is your parent and there is difficulty relating to you as his child. Yet, he is also a man and still has trouble relating to you as a woman. It is something that I very much admire in the Ta'uri: Your parental emotional bond to your offspring." "Yeah well, we offspring are pretty bonded to our parents, too." "But not enough to be honest with them when you are troubled?" "There's nothing wrong, Selmac." "Samantha, your Father and I can both sense something is troubling you. Why do you not share it with us?" "Okay, I'll admit that there is something bothering me. I just need time to work it out for myself. I promise, if I need your help I'll ask." This time, when her Father spoke, it was Jacob at the helm, so to speak. "Sam, does this have something to do with Jack?" Oh shit, she suddenly felt like she was 17 and had just been busted by the RA for breaking freshman curfew regs. How was she supposed to answer that? "Why would this have anything to do with Colonel O'Neill? I'm just working on something in my head. It'll be fine." Sam stood from where she'd been lounging in her chair and headed to the kitchen. "What do you want for dinner Dad?" "When did you learn to cook?" "Ha ha! I may not be able to cook, but I do a killer take-out." While Sam was looking for menus, Jacob was having an internal argument with Selmac. "She just needs time to work it out herself, Jacob." "I know, I know. I would just love to know what 'it' is." "Jacob...There are times when you have to push and there are times when you have no choice but to wait for her to come to you. This is the time for the latter." Jacob knew that his symbiote was correct, but he didn't have to like it. "I could have a go at Jack." "And what would that accomplish?" "Well, I know *I'd* feel better." "This may have nothing at all to do with Colonel O'Neill." "This has everything to do with Jack. I recognised that look on her face." "Which look would that be?" "The one that says she's about to do something rash." "What do you mean Jacob?" "You know her as well as I do..." "But you have the advantage of the parental bond. What do you mean rash?" "Sam has always followed the rules. In fact, I never had to discipline her for breaking curfew, or lying to her mother and I...But on the rare occasions that she felt the rules were unfair...The girl could be as stubborn as a mule." "And you think she is finding a rule, unfair?" "Have you never seen the two of them together? She and Jack, they...I'm her father and, as such, I don't want to think about my daughter as a sexual being...But I'm not so old that I haven't noticed the sparks those two strike off of each other." "Is this something new?" "What, you haven't noticed it? I think that I first saw it on the first day I met Jack. Here was her CO bringing her a drink like they were on a date." "And this bothers you...That they are in love?" "I didn't say that they were in love...necessarily. All I know is that my daughter has changed. She seems to be allowing her emotions to sit closer to the surface...Ever since Jack and Kana'an and the whole Ba'al thing. I'm afraid that she's about to take a step that may not only affect her career, but her future as well." "You don't believe that Colonel O'Neill and your daughter should be together?" "Yes...No...I don't know...He's a little long in the tooth, but all in all, he's a good guy...Beyond that fact, though, he is her CO. There are regs to be considered." "Dad? Do you feel like Chinese?" Sam yelled from the kitchen, interrupting their conversation. Jacob broke off from talking to the Tok'ra, promising they would speak again later. "Hey, after eating Tok'ra cuisine for as long I have been, I could eat grilled cheese sandwiches and be happy. What ever you want Sammy, what ever you want." Jacob, went through to the kitchen as he spoke, walking up and placing a kiss on his daughter's worried brow. He so wanted to help her with whatever was bothering her. He'd get to the bottom of this, if it meant he had to kill Jack.
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DTG 202014Z SEP 04
The weekend dragged for O'Neill. Three and a half days wasn't long enough to get away to Minnesota and get in some fishing but it was waaaaay too long to hang around the house doing nothing. It was actually *just* about the right amount of time for him to drive himself nuts. He couldn't understand why he was allowing himself this pity party, but he was and he didn't think he was going to stop himself anytime soon. Of course, by Sunday afternoon, he was offending even himself. He was laying on the couch watching sitcom re-runs when the doorbell rang. "Now who the hell..." He grumbled, making his way to the door. Of all the people he expected it to be, Jacob Carter wasn't high on his probable suspects list. But there stood the senior Carter, looking at him like he expected a hero's welcome. "Jack, glad you're home." Jacob elbowed his way in the door, past the younger man. "Dad...uhg Jacob, what're ya doing here?" "Visiting you. Got anything to eat?" Jack's house was neat...That earned him points. Nice place actually, hardwood floors and big windows. Lots of space for...a dog. Oh there were chips...but Jacob wanted something more nutritious. Jack hadn't shaved in a couple of days though. Lazy or emotional? Jacob would have to press that button. Jack watched as Carter's Dad made his way into the kitchen looking for something to eat. Something told him that Carter's kitchen was probably as bare as his, knowing her love of the culinary arts. "You know, before Selmac, I'd have asked for a beer too, but she tends to neutralize all the fun parts of drinking and just leaves the taste." Jacob pulled a face that at any other time would have sent Jack to the floor in hysterics. This time, however, he barely cracked a smile. "Never did like the taste of beer." "Can I offer you a snack?" Jack asked with patented O'Neill sarcasm. But this was Jacob, after all. And, as Sam had pointed out on many occasions, he could give as good as he got. "I suppose that depends on what you've got..." Jacob's voice was muffled, due to the fact that his head was in the fridge. "You don't eat here, do you?" Jacob was moving the four bottles of imported Canadian beer back and forth across the otherwise empty shelf. On the next shelf Jack had a bottle of ketchup and a jar of yellow mustard, to go with the three dried out hotdog buns on the bottom shelf. "How old are you Jack? You live like you're in college. Beer and hot dogs?" "I eat a lot of take out." He rubbed a hand across his face and decided he just had to ask. "What are you doing here, Jake? Is there a reason you're inspecting me like a cadet?" "Well, Sam was busy this afternoon and..." "She tossed you out on your ass, didn't she?" "My daughter did not 'toss me out'. She said that she needed some time to think. And I wanted to talk to you." Icy cold fingers of fear ran down Jack O'Neill's spine, and he was a man trained to face torture of all kinds. Jacob was Carter's Dad and Jack was Carter's...CO and 2IC didn't seem to cover the nuances of their relationship. This wasn't looking good for Jack because he was pretty sure Carter's dad knew that he was lusting after his daughter. Jacob put on his General's face and turned to look at Jack. The Colonel tried to pull off his version of the face, but failed, miserably. "Jack, I have finally figured out that I love my daughter, more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone." Jack just nodded in acknowledgement at that statement. He'd had the pleasure of watching the Carters grow closer together over the years, knowing how important the relationship was to both of them. When he'd first met General Carter, Jack hadn't given the man much thought. Carter's surprise over her Dad's appearance at the medal ceremony had told Jack volumes about their relationship, or lack thereof. But through the years and through that damned nosey snake Selmac, Jack had seen Jacob and his daughter had become a real family. "And you...well, I don't hate you." A wry smile twisted Jack's mouth. "Gee, thanks, Dad." "But..." Uh-oh. Buts were almost never good. Jack felt the chill creep up his spine again and made a note to check the weather-stripping on his doors and windows to find the source of that draft. "But?" "Well, let's just say I don't like the fact that there is...something between you two." Jack opened his mouth to object. Jack was the one with the problem, not Carter. "Shut up, Jack. Anyone who has ever been in a room with the two of you for longer than 30 seconds can feel it. And I've spent *days at a time* with the two of you in a Tel'tac." He made a face that was not quite the 'hate the taste of beer' grimace. "You gravitate to each other. Did you know that? You and Sam always sit together." This time, when he paused, Jack did get a word in, but just barely. "That's just so she can explain the technical stuff to me." "You are also no where near as dumb as you pretend to be, so cut the crap, Jack. I want to know what's wrong. Sam's dragging around the house like the time her Mother and I said no to the unsupervised trip to Hawaii with her high school friends. And from what I can see here, you aren't doing much better, Slick." The last was joined by a pointed look at Jack's unshaven chin and rumpled clothes. Jack could have sworn he actually heard Jacob sniff the air. Crap, Jacob had noticed. Jack turned and high-tailed it out of his kitchen. It went against the grain for him to run, but he *so* didn't want to be having a discussion about Sam, with Jacob. The man had the tenacity of a bulldog, as did his daughter, and Jack realized that it was much more attractive on his Carter than on this one. Jacob followed him into the living room, just as Carter would have. Jack dropped onto the couch and was immediately cornered. "Jack, when I got here on Thursday, there was a tension between the two of you that I've never felt before. What's going on?" "Look Jake, your daughter is my 2IC, and if there's something that's bothering her and it affects her job, I'll do my damnedest to find out what it is...But if it's personal, I'll respect her privacy." The other man sighed and stared. He didn't want to give up this easily but Selmac kept telling him to pull back. So, he changed his line of sight and stared at the TV. "Chip?" Jack asked after a moment of silence, shoving Jacob the bowl.
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Sam had fled to the bathroom the minute her Dad pulled her little Volvo out of the driveway. She ran water into the tub and threw in some bath salts to help her relax. She lit a couple of softly scented candles and poured herself a glass of crisp, white wine then crawled into the tub, where she firmly refused to think about where her Dad had gone. Nope, didn't matter to her where he was. As long as he wasn't there, asking her to talk about what was wrong. Worst case scenario: He was harassing the Colonel, and after the week she'd had, she felt that her CO deserved a little visit from her Dad, just for making her crazy all week. The stereo in her bedroom was tuned to a local adult contemporary station and was playing that soft ballad that had been stuck in her head all week. That damn line about wanting to know how he felt had repeated in her head over and over again, like that annoying 'This is the Song That Never Ends' song. But instead of slowly driving her insane, this song made her think. About him...Actually accomplishing the same results as the never ending song. Sam's greatest attribute, as well as her biggest downfall, was her ability to think the hell out of a problem. She could focus in so tightly on a puzzle that she would literally lose days, sometimes weeks, in her lab. The Colonel had often joked that he would be shocked if she ever stopped thinking. She knew that he would find her brooding over him, ironic. Jack O'Neill was a dichotomous man. He was funny and outgoing in life, teasing, playing dumb, telling jokes to make his team laugh. He had kept the team functioning in extremely difficult situations, just by saying outrageous things. More times than Sam could count, his acerbic wit had given them cause to go on. Flashes of missions past flickered behind her closed eyes, as she relaxed against the back of the tub. The first time she remembered him joking in the face of death was when they were trapped in the Antarctic, with him seriously wounded and both of them in danger of freezing to death. After she'd wrestled his over six foot frame into a sleeping bag and tried to keep warm by pooling body heat, he'd made a smart-assed comment about his sidearm. She remembered Jonah and Thera and his dreams of mining...Naked. That brought a warmth to the bath that she didn't care to investigate. Then there was their stay in Hell and his assertion that the Blood of Sokar reminded him of the seventies. He deflected fear with humor, that was his way of dealing. Of course, as open and comfortable as the Colonel could be, he could be just as cold, hard and solitary. After Daniel ascended, he shut down tighter than a drum. He wouldn't talk, wouldn't or couldn't stay alone in a room with her, and pressed the rest of their team into action -- unwilling or unable to let them grieve, or stop to grieve himself. To this day, he wouldn't talk about his experience at the hands of Ba'al. Not even with her. And that hurt. A lot more than it should have. She wasn't some voyeur, looking for a cheap thrill at his expense. She wanted to be there for him. She wanted him to trust her with his innermost thoughts and fears, she wanted him to let her love him. The water was beginning to cool so she twisted the tap to add some more hot. She didn't know what to do about him, because more than likely, if she were to go toe to toe with him, he'd freeze her out. If she didn't, she'd lose her mind. They were supposed to be inching their way toward each other, not running in opposite directions. "God damn him!" She actually yelled aloud in her frustration, "Seven years in limbo is enough!" But what could she do about it? How could she change what was between them with destroying their current relationship? She was willing to pursue the possibilities there but not if it meant destroying the fragile 'thing' they had now. Her Dad was going to visit Mark tonight, so he wouldn't be around to drive her nuts for a while. Without him there, and especially since he'd be back, Sam decided that she'd have to confront the Colonel about the last week -- hell about their whole relationship.. She was not about to have her Dad come back from California and start in on her again. A girl could only be expected to take so much. Tomorrow morning, before they stepped through the Gate for P8X-295, Sam was going to confront the Colonel with her fears. She was too scared to go through the Gate with this on her mind. They'd come too close to losing each other too many times. It was *so* time to take it out of the room.
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DTG 211400Z SEP 04
No one would ever call Sam Carter a procrastinator. Yes, she thought things through, very, very carefully, but that wasn't the same as putting things off until tomorrow. So, at 0800 hours she stood outside her CO's office, knowing that this could be a turning point in her personal life, thinking that this just might be the biggest mistake of her career. Here went nothing. "Enter at your own risk!" The Colonel growled out a warning at her knock. Carter stuck just her head in, somewhat peeking around the door. "Sir, I, uh...have a request..." "Come in, Major." She did, slowly closing the door behind her. He didn't offer her a seat, which was unusual so she stood in front of his desk. "Major, if you are requesting a transfer, request denied." "Sir?" Why would she request a transfer? "I realize that you think you are being held back by not receiving your own command, but the prestige of being second in command of SG-1 should make up for it." Carter stood there with her jaw clenched so that her chin wasn't resting on her chest. She was stunned, flabbergasted... That he would think that she wanted a transfer... "But sir...?" "Don't 'Sir' me, Major. The decision's final. You *will* remain as part of SG-1 until such time as you are no longer needed here. Dismissed!" "Sir? Permission to speak candidly?" He wasn't looking at her. She knew him well enough to know that this was his way of separating himself from something or someone he didn't want to have to deal with. "Permission denied!" "With all due respect, Sir-" "Major Carter, you are *dismissed*. Do I need to order you to get the hell out of my office?" "No, sir...I'll see you at the briefing." She executed a parade-ground-perfect turn on her heel and did her best quick march out the door. She kept her composure all the way down the corridor, during the short trip up to level 19, and the walk to her lab. Once inside, she chose a spot near one of her file cabinets and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. She knew that the security cameras didn't cover this area of her lab, so she was as unofficially private as it was possible to be in a Top Secret military installation. She was numb. Nothing that he could have said would have hurt as much as the icy tone of voice he'd just used on her. He spoke to her as if she were nothing to him -- not his friend, not his 2IC, and not his...whatever it was she was to him. A perverse part of her brain, one that sounded a whole lot like a certain Colonel, did try to remind her that hey, at least he wasn't trying to get rid of her. That was a good thing, right? She didn't even realize that she was crying until she had the overwhelming urge to sniff. She roughly rubbed at her eyes and nose with the heel of one hand. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them, holding herself together. What had she done to make him so angry? He had lashed out at her like this once before, but that was a long time ago and he'd only done it then because he'd needed to distance himself from her. She didn't think that he was involved in any undercover operations now, but he was former Special Forces and that could mean a mission that no one, not even General Hammond, knew about. Special Forces secret ops aside, he had no reason to pull rank on her... He *was* her superior officer, but he had no reason to do it in this fashion. They could talk, they never did, but they could start. It wasn't just his fault that they didn't talk. She had her own issues about opening up and allowing anyone to get close. She had once told Daniel that she had a weakness for the lunatic fringe, and it scared her. Jonas Hansen had nearly killed her team and three of the men she loved most in the world. She had decided, then and there, that perhaps romantic entanglements in general were best viewed from a distance. Narim. He'd had promise, lived on a different planet, and he would never try to hold the power over her that Jonas had. He was a safe bet, all advanced-cultured and other-worldly. He was also sweet and kind and...boring as hell. A relationship with him wouldn't have had any spark of fear or adventure, or the kind of passion that took you over and made you change your life. Martouf. He had the passion thing going for him. And being a Tok'ra running from the Goa'uld had fear and adventure to boot, but she was afraid his convictions, his passionate commitment to his people, would have prevented them from forming a relationship that was permanent. And she wasn't sure who was attracted to him, Jolinar or herself. In many ways, the feelings she had for him were left over from her brief time as Jolinar's host. She may have entertained the idea of getting sweaty with him, but she had never seen Martouf as a permanent part of her life. Orlin. He was a flash in the pan, literally. She knew he was willing to share more of himself with her than any man she had ever met, and she probably could have gotten close to him, given the fact that he'd moved in with her. But, he was a man passionately committed to saving the world -- not really even caring which world it was. His ideals and commitments had meant more to him than she did, and in her own way, it had meant more to her too. He had thrown himself into the path of Earth's destruction and was rewarded by going all glowy again. Some women never found the 'right' man. Sam had found three candidates. Each, in their own way, was perfect for her. If she could have taken the parts of each that were perfect and combined them into one man, sure she'd have one big man, but he'd have also been the man who was her CO. Her Colonel. She forced herself to think of him as the Colonel or Sir, just for the sake of her own sanity. If she allowed her mind to know what her heart held, she'd ruin everything. It wasn't denial, really. (Why did it always sound as if she protested too much whenever she voiced those thoughts, even to herself?) It was just that this mattered to her *so* much. At no time in her life had it been as important to keep Major Carter and Samantha Carter separate as it was with this man. Major Carter respected Colonel O'Neill's years of experience, his ability to make the decisions that needed to be made (even if she didn't like them) and his unyielding policy of never leaving anyone behind. He was brave and strong and good. And that alone would have made her follow his lead, to the end of the Earth, or whatever other planet they were on. He was the kind of leader who inspired those who served with him to push themselves beyond their previous limits. And it truly was an honor to serve with an officer of his caliber. Samantha Carter loved Jack O'Neill. All of his 'Colonel' traits were a part of it, but there was so much more to the man than being a soldier. It was the size of Jack's heart that drew her to him. He had room in there for an absent minded archaeologist, a Jaffa in need of a second chance, a nearing retirement General and an egg-head scientist, even when he said that he didn't like scientists. Not that she was blind to his obvious physical traits. Oh no. The man was easy to look at. He was tall and lean, strength radiated off of him in waves. His deep dark eyes were almost hypnotic to her, and she wanted to just run her fingers through his hair and allow the greying strands to play softly against her hand. She clamped down on the feeling of warmth that came over her when she thought of Jack. Repressing what she felt for the man and promoting what she felt for the officer was the only way she could stay sane these days. She had stopped crying some time ago, but had just continued to sit on the floor thinking about the path her life had taken. She was startled when the phone on her desk rang. She lifted herself up, and dusted off her rear end. She was in a fog as she answered the phone. "Major Carter." "Major, this is General Hammond. We're waiting for you in the briefing room." Was there a bit of a smile in his voice? It wasn't unusual for her to lose track of time and for someone to have to come and get her. Usually, Colonel O'Neill dropped by her lab on his way to meetings or briefings to get her. Today he hadn't. "I'm so sorry sir, I, uh, lost track of time. I'll be right there." Thankfully, she'd gathered the papers she needed before she went to see her CO. She grabbed the pile of papers, briefly checked out the damage her crying jag had done to her face and, deciding that it didn't look too bad, she hurried down to level 28.
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"Just freakin' lovely." Carter muttered aloud as she gathered her field kits and battery- powered testing equipment, shoving the cases that held each different item into her backpack. The last things she picked up were the palm- pilot that was specially designed for off world data collection and storage and her digital camera, plopping them into the top of the bag. "Ten minutes late for the meeting...Spending most of it so zoned-out, you wouldn't know where you were going, if you hadn't picked out the destination yourself...And I think even the General noticed you staring at the Colonel and him avoiding looking at you. Damn, damn, damn!" She looked up, startled at a noise in the doorway. "Daniel, how long have you been there?" "About three damns...Are you ready to go?" "Yes, uhm, Daniel, about the other day...That doesn't go anywhere...Right?" "Sam, of course." He held out his arm, gesturing Sam to follow him. "Are you feeling better?" "I'm fine Daniel...off to P8X-295." Daniel didn't believe her for a split second. He knew that she'd been upset when she came flying into the meeting late, and he was pretty sure that she'd been crying. His brave friend was hurting and Daniel wanted to do something for her. But he didn't know what. "Sam, I know that right now you are pretty unsure about a lot of things, but you have to believe me. We need you on SG-1..." "I believe you, Daniel." 'Yeah-sure-ya-betcha-snookums,' Daniel thought in his best Minnesotan impersonation. 'And I'm Santa Claus.' He was going to have to talk to Jack, see what his friend thought about Sam's dilemma. They didn't have time to get into this now, so Daniel pushed his concerns to the back of his brain and concentrated on P8X-295. He had a tendency to get into trouble when he was just focused on their missions. It was much worse when other things had his attention. That was probably why he held the record for the most instances of coming back from the dead. He would mention Sam's troubles to Jack when they got back. They made it in to the Gate room before their other team members. Carter checked over her pack one last time, in last minute preparations. By the time Sergeant Davis was calling out the chevron engagements, the Colonel and Teal'C had shown up. The four stood at the foot of the ramp and waited for the kawoosh of the event horizon to settle into the large ring of the 'Gate. Once it did, SG-1 heard General Hammond make the announcement. "SG-1, you have a go."
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DTG 220340Z SEP 04
How had it gone so bad so fast? Carter thought as she lay in her hospital bed, running a post mortem on the mission. They had come through the Gate to a welcome from Jaffa that, from all of the information they had collected before, shouldn't have been there. The team had dived for cover and then they were fighting for their lives. She tried to remember, looking through the pieces in her mind. Bright blue bolts of energy flew past her face as she dived behind the cover of a scraggly bush. She hit the ground hard and rolled to fire back at the Jaffa. What the hell were Jaffa doing there? She could see Teal'C and could hear Daniel,. Another staff blast blew by and she turned in time to see the Colonel fall as a Jaffa staff weapon connected with his head. She remembered screaming for Teal'C as she fired at the enemy Jaffa leaning over her Colonel. Teal'C ran for O'Neill just as Daniel got the Gate open. All four members of SG-1 jumped through the wormhole, as Sam hurriedly punched the code into the GDO on her wrist. Next thing she remembered she hit the metal ramp back in the Gate room. "SG-1? What the hell happened?" General Hammond had asked as she blacked out and the team was hauled off to the infirmary.
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They rolled the Colonel out on a gurney, heading out to the operating theatre. Daniel, Teal'C, and Sam sat and waited. Nurses went on doing the things that they did, day to day. One had tried to get Sam to take a sedative only to be told, in no uncertain terms, what she could do with it. Sam would have to apologize later. She was spending *way* too much time with the Colonel. The minute hand of the institutional clock ticked, getting louder and louder. Sam felt as if she would crawl out of her skin in a minute. Daniel was trying to calm her down by sitting on the bed beside her rubbing her back gently. It wasn't helping. As much as she loved Daniel, he just wasn't the Colonel and that is who she needed. Teal'C sat on the next bed in a lighter form of meditation. He knew everything that was going on in the room and had heard every tick of the clock. He was concerned by Major Carter's emotional condition. "I can't do this Daniel. I can't just sit here." Sam whispered. She needed to move. "Sam, come on, you'll just hurt yourself...You have to rest or they are going to give you that sedative whether you agree to it or not." "Daniel, something was wrong, between us, the Colonel and I. I don't know what I did. He has to pull through, because I need to find out what I did and apologize." Teal'C opened his eyes. He knew that O'Neill would never want MajorCarter to think that she was to blame for what was wrong between them, especially if O'Neill were to die. He felt that he should tell her what he knew. It was then that they heard it. There was a ruckus outside in the corridor. Sam threw herself off of the bed and headed for the door, her heart in her throat, her mind screaming incoherently. She felt the tug of the IV needle in her hand, limiting her travel away from the bed, and, distractedly, pulled at the tape, tearing the needle out. The doors opened and there stood her Dad. "Dad, when did you get here?" "George called me the minute he could and I left Mark's. It was insane. I think at one point I nearly had to hop a freight train...But I'm here. More importantly Selmac is here." Sam was stunned. The Goa'uld healing device locked in her lab, of course! Selmac could use it and save the Colonel's life. "We don't have much time Dad...In my lab, come on...the hand device...it's there. If you can get to the operating room before they..." "Sam, it's okay, I have the device...I want to fix your arm. Come on, you just sit." Carter looked around wildly. He had the device and he wanted to fix the burn on her arm? Now, when the Colonel could be dying? Her eyes landed on Daniel and then Teal'C, silently begging them for help in convincing her Dad to help the Colonel or at to least explain to her why her Dad had suddenly gone insane. "No Dad, my arm is fine...you have to go and help the Colonel...Please, Dad! He needs you more than I do..." Jacob had never seen his daughter this emotionally volatile. When her Mother had died, Sam shut down, now she was having a meltdown. He had known that his daughter cared for the Colonel, but he hadn't realized how deep her feelings went. He should have known. "It's okay Sam..." She was beyond hearing him. She was beyond realizing where she was and who was in the room. She had pulled out her IV in the rush to find out what was happening out in the corridor and her left hand was bleeding. She was nearly hyperventilating in her anxiety. "Dad, please. You have to go and save him... You have to save him. I need to say I'm sorry." The room fell silent. Daniel looked beyond Sam to the doorway his eyes widening in surprise. Teal'C followed Daniel Jackson's gaze and a smile graced his face, briefly. Sam didn't see any of it. Sam began to pivot between her Dad and her team mates, but before she could say anything, warm, strong arms wrapped around her from behind. She started fighting against them, until she looked up into those incredibly beautiful, brown eyes. "Colonel?" She whispered and the fight left her limbs. "It's okay Sam...I'm okay." He whispered quietly as they slowly slid to the floor, she was brought to her knees by emotion, he was brought to his by her emotional display. The room cleared, though Sam and Jack never noticed. He held her as she cried, shedding a few tears himself for this incredibly strong woman who had finally reached her breaking point. Her Dad would have time to fix her arm, it wasn't life threatening. They needed the time to be alone right now. "Sam, sssshhh, you're going to make yourself sick." She looked at him, raising her left hand to touch his cheek, as if to reassure herself that he really was there. "What did I do wrong...How do I fix it? I can fix it, right?" She hiccupped, the tears nearly choking her. "There is nothing for you to fix." "But, before we left..." "I was a fool Sam...As scared stupid as I have ever been." "I don't understand?" "I have been acting like an idiot since you came back from P3X-744." His callused fingers smoothed the tears from her cheeks. "Did someone on SG-11 complain? Did I do something wrong on the mission?" "No, believe me, it wasn't you. Not really." He pulled her tightly to his chest loosening his grip only when she whimpered in pain. "Let's get your Dad in here to fix that arm." "No, please sir, we have to talk. Please." She dug her fingers into his T-shirt to hold onto him. He'd changed clothes since she'd seen him last. Jack sighed, he never wanted to see this woman beg. It humbled him as nothing else had. "We'll talk, but you have to get well first. I promise that we'll talk." "You won't leave the mountain?" "No, I'll wait...But I think that this time, we should take this discussion out of here." "Okay." "First things first...We need to get you into bed and off of this cold floor. Come on Major, up you go." She let him help her to her feet and allowed him to guide her to the bed. She held his hand, and, looking straight into his eyes, she said to him. "You were going to leave me, tonight." "No, Sam. I need to get your Dad." She watched him walk to the door, confused by his comment. The group of people waiting in the corridor looked up as Jack exited the infirmary. General Hammond had joined them in waiting. "She's ready to see you Jacob." "Okay." The older man placed a hand on Jack's shoulder in a fatherly fashion. "I hurt her Jacob...It was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I did." "She's tough, Jack. And forgiving." "I hope so. General, I need to see you, in your office?" "Sure, son, let's go." ~
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"Sam, are you okay?" Daniel asked peeking his head around the doorframe. "Yeah, uhm have you seen..." "Jack went to talk to the General when Jacob came in to fix your arm. I don't know if he's still there...But I don't think he left the SGC." "Janet's cleared me and Dad's decided to go wherever it is he's calling home these days. I'm headed for my lab, if you see...uh him...tell the Colonel... tell him he can find me there." "Sam, are you sure you're okay?" "Oh, Daniel, I think I just flushed my career, but yeah, I'm okay. We've been given a few more days down time, so I'm going home. I just need to do something first." "Don't do anything you'll regret, okay Sam? We need you here." "Yeah, okay." She sighed. "Okay, if I walk with you?" "Sure, I just don't feel like talking right now, Daniel." "That's okay. We'll just walk." They made their way out of the infirmary and into the corridor. Sam looked around, hoping to see Jack, but not seeing anyone. "What time is it?" She asked once they were in the elevator. "Two am. Night shift's on." "The General's still here?" "Of course, he didn't want to leave while Jack was in surgery. Then instead of surgery Jack requested a meeting..." "Of course." They got out on level 19. Sam stopped outside her lab door and looked at her worried friend. "I need to clean up a few things and then I'm going home. You don't need to wait around." Daniel placed the palm of his hand against her face. "Get some rest, okay? Things will look better in the morning...Well, later in the morning." She forced a smile and opened her lab door. Daniel had left her and she needed to do one thing. She moved to her computer and brought up a file that had been encrypted on a disc. She printed it off and placed a phone call. "General? Good you're still here. May I have a moment of your time, sir? I can be in your office in five minutes...Thank you."
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She went home alone. After speaking with the General and waiting for him for another hour in her lab, Sam gave up on Jack. She packed her laptop and some files she needed into her briefcase and headed top side. By the time she pulled into her driveway it was 4:30 am and she was wide awake. She got into the house and looked around like it was the first time she'd been there. Her mind had shut down, whether out of exhaustion or pain, she wasn't sure. She only knew that her heart hurt. Jack had promised not to leave her, so it was probably the headache more than any other pain that was bothering her. She stripped off her clothes on the way to the bathroom and filled the tub with water and bath salts. She planned to soak away the ache with lots of hot, scented water, again. Much more of Jack O'Neill induced confusion and she was going to become water-logged. She lay there for awhile, soaking the residual stiffness out of her shoulder. One thing about the Goa'uld, they had the technology to make life a little easier. She washed her hair and finger-combed the short strands, then crawled out of the tub and walked, un-self-consciously naked, into her bedroom. She looked at the bed, and really didn't want to get into it. She could only imagine what she would dream of tonight. How long she stood there, she didn't know, but finally she was brought back to the here-and-now by the ringing of the doorbell. She turned to walk out of the room and realized that she hadn't gotten dressed yet. Grabbing the first thing she found, she threw it on and she made her way to the front door. She didn't even check the peep hole, she just swung the door open to face the dark of the early morning.
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Jack stood on her front step. He didn't have anything to say. Somehow the image of her in an oversized USAF T-shirt, frayed at the sleeves, barely reaching the top of those incredibly long legs and her blond hair standing up in little spikes all over her head tossed aside all of his practiced words, rendering him mute. He watched her turn from the door and walk back through the house without saying a word. She didn't slam the door in his face, so Jack followed her into the kitchen where she was busying herself making coffee. "You left without me." He whispered. The sound reverberated throughout the kitchen like thunder. It slapped at her, shaking her out of her fugue. "I thought that you'd left." "I told you I'd wait." "I couldn't find you. I waited and you didn't come back. So I just came home." "I was in my office...Why didn't you check there?" "I thought that you'd left." "I never thought trust would ever be an issue between us, Sam." She looked at him with a sadness in her big blue eyes that nearly impaled him. Her pain and mistrust was like a knife to his soul. She couldn't answer him. She had so many issues when it came to trust. On one hand, she trusted Colonel O'Neill with her life and the lives of her Dad, and her best friends, no questions asked. He would do everything within his power, and a few things that seemed just outside of it, to keep the people who served with him safe. He was her CO. She would gladly follow him across the galaxy. It hit her then, that it really wasn't him that she didn't trust...It was herself. She'd chosen Jonas Hansen, and then she'd allowed herself to fall in love with her CO. She just couldn't make the right decisions when it came to her heart. The men involved seemed to be incidental to the circumstances and the almost scripted progression of their relationship in a downward spiral. The only man she'd ever been able to maintain a halfway decent relationship with had been- "I'm not your Dad, or Hansen, Sam." She sucked in a breath through her teeth at that. "I don't know details about Hansen...I don't want to know because I know that I'd need to kill him again...and again...and again." "I do know that your Dad abandoned you...emotionally, at least...before and after your Mom died. I promised you that I'd be here for you and I'm here." They looked at each other for a moment and then in unison said. "I resigned." "You what?" "I quit." Jack was faster this time. "When?" "About 2:30 this morning. I went to see General Hammond and handed him my letter of resignation...You can't quit, Sir, SG-1 needs you." "Well the SGC needs you a hell of a lot more" His words were harsh, but the tone of his voice was soft and sweet. "What are you thinking?" "I wrote that letter of resignation the day you returned from your "vacation" with Maybourne. I realized years ago that I never wanted to face the possibility that I could be at the SGC without you. I knew that for certain when I was sitting in the woman's locker room, crying in Teal'C's arms, railing against the Fates for taking you away. What kind of Air Force Major sits in the bathroom bawling her eyes out?" "I printed this version of my retirement letter off- Wait! What did you say?!" "I just couldn't do it anymore. Why am I not really surprised that Teal'C didn't tell you about my not-so-little breakdown? Although I would have thought he'd have considered it something you, as my CO, should know." Jack was stunned. He reached out for her before he could stop himself. Cupping her soft cheek in his hand, he watched her eyes close, and it hit him. He wasn't going to miss this chance at happiness, he had everything he'd ever wanted within his reach again, and unlike with Sarah, he wasn't going to screw it up. "Sam, I know that we have an incredible amount of talking to do, but if I don't kiss you now..." He trailed off as her eyes opened and captured his own. She stepped forward and took his face in her hands, leaning in to press her lips against his. The sweetness of her was his undoing. He brought both hands around her and held on. He needed to take this slow, to memorize her taste, memorize her feel, but she wasn't having any of that. Within seconds of starting the kiss, Jack felt her hands grip his hair, pulling him into her. Then he let his hands wander down her back, until he ran into the baby soft skin of another set of cheeks. His brain short- circuited right then and there, and he pulled his hands off of her like he'd been burned. His eyes popped open and the sound he made was somewhere between a moan and a meow. Sam realized that she had lost him when he backed away from her. She opened her eyes to find him, eyes closed, jaw clenched and hands shaking, leaning back against the island in the middle of her kitchen. There was sweat beading on his brow. "Jack?" "No, don't talk to me, don't look at me and what ever you do, dear God don't touch me. In fact if you could just leave the room for a day or so, I might be able to function again." Sam smiled that knowing smile seen on the lips of seductresses throughout the ages and the universe. Her strong, iron-willed Colonel was on the verge of losing control. Fear and excitement battled within her. The passion on his face was enough to arouse any smart woman and she was definitely a smart woman. But she was also a woman in love. She moved in on him and when he put up his hands in a defensive posture, she took them and placed them on her T-shirt covered hips. She saw his eyes open, the pupils so wide that his eyes were almost black, and placed a finger over his lips to quiet what she knew would be a protest. "I resigned. You can't order me around any more." Panic flared in his eyes, he'd never seen this side of Sam. Well, not unless you counted their little tussle in the locker room so long ago. This time there was no virus, no need to fight her off... 'Oh shit.' "I want this. I gave everything up because I want you." "Sam? Are you sure?" She leaned in and kissed him with the pent-up passion of the entire seven years that they had worked side by side. She nearly blew the back of his head off. "It's time Jack." She said breathlessly. Taking his hand in hers, she led Jack into her bedroom. He'd been here before, had helped agents set up a surveillance system. But he'd never really been *here* before. She could tell that he was as nervous as she was. This was the most important step she'd ever made, right up there with the first one she took through the Stargate. But she was just as positive that she was meant to do this. "You know, if you don't find me attractive any more..." "Funny girl." He kissed her this time, and then, pulling back from her, he looked deep into her eyes with love shining in his own. Then Jack, being Jack, picked her up and threw her onto the bed. "Oh, yeah, that's good." He murmured it aloud in the sexiest voice she thought she had ever heard as he approached her with the look of a feral beast, hungry for only her. He joined her on the bed and they both knew that whatever happened in the future, this was their moment.
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"Sam?" Jack looked at the woman laying in his arms, a serious look on his face and tone in his voice. "Before we, do this...I need you to know, the whole mess...Yesterday, the last couple of weeks...it's all me. You didn't do anything wrong." Sam didn't need his reassurances, the look on his face and in his eyes told her everything. Love and fear mixed on his face, reflecting what she felt in her own heart. She placed a hand on his chest, over his heart. "Jack, don't. It doesn't matter, now. The only thing that matters is how we feel." "I love you." "Then that's everything I need." She reached up to run her fingers across the lines that marked his face. She traced the strong bones under his eyes, the hollows of his cheeks and the soft, tenderness of his lips as he held himself above her. She could feel the strength in his arms as he supported his weight, pressing down on her only enough to make her feel wanted, not trapped. His firm belly lay against hers, leaving their lower bodies free, but she could feel the warmth and the roughness of his jeans against her bare legs. The friction it caused only helped to heat her blood. "I love you too." "And for that I am eternally grateful, and utterly baffled..." "I believe that you're wearing too many clothes, mister." Sam began to pull his t-shirt out of his jeans, needing to touch and be touched. He helped her get the offending piece of clothing off but stilled her hands when they moved to his belt. "Okay, I'm not eighteen anymore. But Sam, I want you so much right now, if you touch me, it's going to be over really, really quick." "Quick is okay -- for now. We'll work up to slow later on. Right now, I just need you to touch me, Jack." She pulled her hands from his and took his face in them. Raising her head up off of the pillow, she crushed her mouth to his. She knew that he tasted her need on her tongue as it fought its way, easily, past his lips. After an eternity she felt him pull back, resting his forehead against hers. "Are you trying to kill an old man?" "When I find an old man we'll see. Right now, I'm just trying to tell the man I love how very much I desire him...And if he doesn't do something about this soon, I'm going to do something that'll embarrass myself." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Oh? That just might be worth it." "Seeing as you are no longer my CO, hurting you, is not out of the question, mister." She wrapped one long bare leg around him, twisting her upper body as she did and flipping him neatly onto his back. Now she looked down into his eyes. "Now, where were we?" The change in position brought with it a whole new set of tactile possibilities. Her legs were tangled with his. Her T-shirt had ridden up, exposing her soft, pale skin to his eyes, and better yet his hands. They were pressed against each other intimately and she knew right then how much he wanted her. She rubbed herself like a cat against every inch of him but he was the one who purred. Jack's hands had minds of their own. Without his permission, they'd slipped under her shirt to rub against her back. He felt her shiver in erotic pleasure as his callused palms scraped her skin. The hands that routinely wielded a P90 automatic weapon were now giving her immeasurable amounts of pleasure. He ran his fingertips up her sides, bouncing over her ribs, causing her to quiver against him. He grazed her shoulder blades lightly, smiling at the sound she made in the back of her throat. Jack O'Neill was a tease, a flirt. Everybody knew that, but Sam really wasn't appreciating this personality foible at the moment. He was seemingly content with running his hands over her, under her T- shirt, enjoying the frustration it was causing her. So, it was time to take matters into her own hands. Rearing up she straddled his thighs and she pulled the T-shirt up, over her head, her gaze leaving his only when the layer of cotton blocked her eyes. She tossed the shirt onto the floor behind her. This time it was his body that bucked against hers, his breath that was caught in his throat, and his heart that began to race. "God, I love you." He sighed, looking at her sitting proud and straight above him. "Then show me." "What have I been doing, Sam?" "Teasing me." She slid forward, running her hands up his chest, tickling the soft hair that ran down to the top of his jeans. Reaching the waistband of his jeans, she slid the top button out of its hole. This time he didn't try to stop her, and she took that as encouragement. She took the two sides of his fly and pulled them apart, forcing the rest of the buttons out of their holes. She grinned. Hands were as greedy as mouths. They touched and kissed each other wherever they could reach, straining and stretching to reach sensitive areas. Bodies became slick with sweat, tasting of salt and something richer. Sam moaned as Jack drove her close to the edge with his mouth. She didn't even fight him when he reversed their positions and pinned her to the bed. She writhed against him as he held her hands trapped in one of his and seduced her with that mouth. She couldn't help herself, she let go and rode a wave of passion that took her out of her mind and out of her body. When she could breathe again, not to mention see straight, she looked at Jack. He had a rather smug, pleased look on his face. Now it was his turn. She slipped a hand between their bodies and led him to her. He moaned deep in his throat at the sensation of her body surrounding his. Slowly he slid into her warmth, stilling her movements against him. He was close but he wouldn't let himself go without her. So he gathered her to him, sliding slowly against her, until she felt the pressure build up again. This time he didn't hold himself back and they both reached their peak together. He heard the passion in her voice as she screamed his name. Her name came out in a growl and then he collapsed against her. After a few moments spent panting into the hollow of her sweat- drenched neck, he finally found the ability to put words together into a sentence. "Oh boy, didn't think I could still do that. I think my teeth are vibrating." "Well, I, for one, am glad you can." She was running her hands up and down his flanks, marveling at the physical condition that he was in. He had been battered and bruised over the years but he was still an incredible man. "Mmmm, I don't want to move." "Then don't." She tightened her grip on him as he tried to roll off her. "Stay here , I've waited so long, please." "I have to be crushing you." He rolled them over keeping her in his arms and himself in her body. She lay with her head on his chest, his heart beating strong and loud against her ear. Tears gathered in her eyes and leaked out the corner. He was startled to feel the warmth of tears against his skin. His arms tightened around her and his body absorbed her shudders. "Sam, what's wrong? Please don't cry. Please, sweetheart, don't cry." He crooned against the top of her head. Like most men, Jack O'Neill didn't understand a woman's tears and, like most men, he panicked at the first hint of them. Goa'uld, ugly little mechanical spiders, big green Unas-type creatures -- he could handle that and more, no problemo. But don't for God's sake, don't let a woman cry. "Sam, is this regret? Did I hurt you? Please, tell me what's wrong...I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong?" She looked up, smiling through her tears. "What? Nothing's wrong you silly, lovely man. I'm just happy...And so in love with you that I can't see straight." "Oh, happy tears!" He placed a kiss on her forehead, loving the taste of her sweet skin on his lips again. "I don't think that I'll ever understand women." Suddenly she rolled away from him. He felt the loss of her like the loss of a limb. He looked at her in appreciation as she stood by the bed, one hand extended. 'Oh yeah' he thought 'I'm in love with an Amazon. Woo-hoo.' "Come with me." "Sam...I'm an old guy. I don't know what you have in mind, but I probably can't accommodate you at the moment." "Come on, I want to watch the sunrise with you...We'll discuss your age and stamina at a later date. Now, come on." He groaned as pulled himself out of her nice warm bed. "As much as I want to keep you exactly the way you are, I am a jealous man, and do not want your neighbors seeing you in the buff. At least put the T-shirt on." She bent down to grab the shirt off the floor as he grabbed his jeans. She watched him slip them up over his long legs and whistled in appreciation. She was, after all, military. "Sexual harassment goes both ways, Major." "Bite me, Colonel." "I did." He reached out a hand and ran a finger over the slightly red mark he'd left at the base of her neck, where he shoulder came into her collarbone. She grabbed him in a hug and laughed. He hadn't heard her laugh like this in a long time - pure, open, and incredibly happy. It made him smile, and he felt the tickle of those damn happy tears at the back of his eyes. "We've seen many a sunrise together Carter, why are you pulling me out of bed for this?" "We have seen many a sunrise, Sir, but never after mind-blowing, teeth-rattling sex." "Okay, I'll give you that." They stood on her deck facing the eastern sky. She stood in front of him, resting her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lost himself in the smell of her hair. The golds of the sunrise were pale in comparison to the colours in her hair. He rubbed his cheek against the top of her head and realized how perfect she was for him. He wondered what in the world, or in any of the worlds they had visited, she saw in him? Whatever it was, he wasn't about to question it. She had said that she loved him, and for now, he was holding on to that with both hands. "Sam...Marry me."
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Sam had forced Jack back into the house and sat him down at her kitchen table. She had emptied the earlier pot of coffee into the sink and was brewing a new one. She knew that he was waiting for an answer to his question but she was stalling. She was trying to believe that he meant what he had asked her. "Is this a no?" "Okay...Dad didn't get it all when he used the hand device?" "I am not brain damaged...Marry me, Sam." "Has it occurred to you that we are both unemployed at the moment?" "I have a pension coming in...I retired I didn't quit. Marry me." This was starting to be fun. The first time he'd said it, he'd been as shocked as she was to hear it coming out of his mouth. The second time it had been easier, and the third time was actually fun. "You know that I'm going to need to find work...I may have to move." "Hey, my house will sell...Marry me." "Jack? What are you doing?" He had gotten to his feet and was stalking her movements like a big cat. He'd moved into her 'personal space' and had maneuvered her into a corner where she was trapped by her kitchen cupboards. "Marry me." He said it again as he took a step forward. "Jack?" "Sam, marry me...Everything else will take care of itself." He took her face in his hands, pressed his lips against hers and he felt the fight leave her body as she relaxed into the kiss. He was winning her over or at the very least turning her on. "Marry me, Samantha. I can't, won't do without you anymore." She sighed, softly and looked into his eyes. "Yes." "Yes?" "Yes." "Woo-hoo, I'll make the reservations." "Wait, reservations? What reservations?" "Flight and hotel...We're going to Vegas, Baby!" Sam followed him out of the kitchen, trying to catch up with him, physically as well as mentally. "Vegas!? Vegas!?"
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"We can't go to Vegas Jack!" "Sure we can...Travelocity.com!" "I mean we can't just run off and get married." He grabbed her around the waist and twirled her around the bedroom making her dizzy. He had finally let her catch up to him in there. "And why not? You said yes. Are you changing your mind? Welching, Sam?" "No...And stop that." He was nibbling at her neck, steadily working his way up the strong tendons to her ear. "We can elope, Sam. There is a long, romantic history for elopement. In fact, the city of Las Vegas makes piles and piles of money off of people just like us. Think romance, Sam. Think roses and tulips. Think Shakespeare." "Oh yeah Romeo and Juliet...Didn't they kill themselves? Good role models." "Hey, I was thinking more like..." "Hamlet and Ophelia? They died too!" "Romance, candlelight and soft music...Bubble baths and a soft, warm, bed...You and me and a soft warm bed. For the rest of our lives, no matter how long or short that it is." Jack had nibbled and kissed his way through the explanation of his theory and had very nearly convinced her that it would be the right thing. "Okay" She sighed. "But you have to tell Dad." There was the old 'Oh Fuck' thought bubble above his head again. "I just want to live in the moment Sam. We could wake up from this dream at any moment and I don't want to have regrets. I have enough of those for one lifetime...I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, spend the rest of your life with me?" He looked so sincere and so in love with her that she would have agreed to run naked through Hathor's version of the SGC just to please him. His hopeful look changed to a look of victory when she, against her own better judgment, nodded. He picked her up and twirled her around the room again. Jack put her down and actually patted her on the bum as he directed her to the closet to pack. He sat on her bed and watched her look at her meager supply of non-military clothing. He had a horrible moment when he realized that if she were to get a non-military job, he might have to go shopping with her for non- military clothes. "I think that you might want to talk to the General about getting your job back." She turned away from her clothing. "And why is that?" "You just don't have the wardrobe for the private sector." She shot him the look that said 'You are insane but I have learned to deal with it and will persevere.' She had gotten a lot of use out of that look in seven years with him. "You just don't want to have to go shopping that's all." At his shocked look, she snorted in laughter. "What? I can read you like a book, my dear Colonel. If you want to elope, I'll have to buy a dress...I don't have one and I am not getting married in my BDU's" "Well then it shouldn't take you long to pack." Her groom-to-be gave her a cheeky grin as he made his way to the bathroom for a shower. He actually whistled as he slipped off his jeans and hopped into the shower. Living alone for as many years as he had, Jack had left the bathroom door open. For all his talk of being an 'old guy' he was in incredible shape and Sam really, really liked his shape. Jack, of course, knew the minute she entered the bathroom, but he didn't expect her to actually get naked and crawl in to the shower with him. He was startled by her arms appearing around his waist and her oh-so-naked body pressed up against his back. "Do you know how many times I have wanted to do this?" She asked it from over his right shoulder. "Well, I've thought about it a time or two myself." He turned so that the water hit his back and she was now pressed up against his front. "Didn't you already do this?" "Hmmmm?" She asked, taking the soap out of his hands and starting to lather up the puffy thing he had thought was a decoration. "Didn't you already shower?" "Bath." Sam was well known for her ability to focus on something so intensely that everything else went away, and she was now focusing that intensely on washing him. Jack had thought that only small children and old men were washed by someone else. Healthy, grown men didn't need anyone to wash them. How wrong he was. Sam's perfect hands were slick with soap and sliding over his body with a heat he hadn't expected could come from a bath. They had made love, that was what they had done, made love, an hour ago and right now, he felt the same intense need he had the first time he'd tasted her lips. She almost killed him when she looked into his eyes, that knowing look glinting there along with her need for him. "Why?" "Hmmm?" "Why are you here?" "Because it's my house?" She momentarily stopped her lathering to press a kiss against a faint scar on his pectoral. The sarcophagus that he'd become addicted to had cured him of the injuries and brought him back from the death caused by Ba'al, but it had left old scars, old reminders of his life before Sam and the SGC. "Why are you here with me?" "Because it's my shower and you are naked and I love you." "What can you possibly see in me?" She stopped rubbing his body again, her eyes meeting his with a sober expression. "I see a man with a burdened soul, but a pure heart. I see a man who's convictions are so strong that he would give up his life for another. I see a man so brave that regardless of the dangers, he will fight until his last breath, to keep people safe. People he doesn't know, will possibly never know and who may even hate him for being who he is. I see a man, not brought to his knees by grief, but rebuilt by it. I see the man that I have loved for longer than I've even known it and will love for longer than I'll live. I see Jack O'Neill." He was fighting those damn happy tears again as she said this. Pulling her close to him, he kissed her, not the hot hard kiss of passion, but the soft precious kiss of love. Then ducking himself under the spray to rinse off the soap, he leaned over and grabbed her behind the legs, taking them both out of the shower and heading for the bed in her room. He was going to touch taste and see every glorious inch of her body...They had the time, their flight to Las Vegas didn't leave until noon.
He carried her into the bedroom, making a big show out of placing her carefully on the bed, touching her reverently, kissing her, loving her. He totally blew the mood he was building when he started laughing. "What?!" "You'd better go see Doc Fraser...I don't think you're getting enough oxygen...Your toenails are blue." "Funny boy...Cassie and I went for pedicures last Saturday." "I just didn't think that you were so 'girlie' under your uniform." "What did you think the two bumps under my jacket were?" "Hey, don't get defensive...I just never pictured you as the blue nail polish type." His laughter took the sting out of his words. "Hey, believe it or not, I am a girl." He touched her face lovingly and smiling softly. "You are all woman and I find you so damn attractive it makes my skin sing. And now you're my girlfriend." She actually shivered in horror at that term. "Don't..." "Don't what?" "Don't call me that...it makes me feel 16 and pimply again." "So what do I call you? Lover? My old lady? Babe?" "Any of those will get you dead...I believe the word you're looking for is wife." He stretched out beside her, showing a renewed interest in her nakedness by tracing lazy circles on her tummy. His fingers caused small ripples of pleasure as they moved in an ever expanding perimeter. He brushed the bottom of her breasts causing her to quiver in desire. "My wife...Two words that I never thought I'd say again." "Jack," She took his hand in hers stopping the play. "We don't have to get married. I love you and I will love you and stay by your side whether or not I'm Mrs. Jack O'Neill." "Mrs., Major, Dr Jack O'Neill? I don't think so...Your business cards would have to be five by seven. You are Samantha Carter, Major, Doctor, and soon to be Mrs. ...But I don't expect you to take my name. Yours has done you and your Dad very proud. I only want the world or worlds to know that I belong only to you...You hold my heart in your hand and I want to wear your ring on my finger. Marriage doesn't have mean that a woman loses herself to the man she marries...It should be a blending of two bodies, souls and lives into one, of equal parts." "Have you been reading feminist literature? This is sounding awfully liberal for an Old School Air Force Colonel." She leaned over and kissed him to soften her words. He needed to know that she was teasing him. "Nope, no Helen 'Girlie' Brown for me. This is how I feel, what I offered Sarah when I asked her to marry me." "I can't replace Sarah, Jack...or Charlie..." "Not replace, never replace. Sarah and Charlie will always be a part of me, my past, my present and my future. But you, you helped me become whole again. Don't ever forget that there is a dark place deep inside of me where the ugliness I have seen, and done, lives. I lived there too, once upon a time, but you, Daniel and Teal'C pulled me out. I owe all of you a debt of gratitude that I'll never be able to repay...But as fond of him as I am, I'm not going to marry Teal'C." She thought of what he said for a moment, her fingers idly tracing his chin and nose while she did so. "I've visited my own version of that hell...During and after my relationship with Jonas... I have a hard time...I had a hard time trusting my choices. As an independent, career Air Force officer, it's important that you have confidence in your decisions. It's not really smart, or easy, believe me, to be in love with your Commanding Officer." "Not much easier being in love with your Second in Command, but I'll tell you, I wouldn't change what I feel for you for anything." "I was scared Jack...Scared that you wanted me gone. You wouldn't talk to me, you hid from me. I know that you sometimes need to burrow, you pulled away after Daniel ascended, but I thought that after Niirti, we'd gotten beyond that...Then you were gone...I've never felt so alone in my life." "It was me Sam. You haven't exactly been excited about what SG-1's been doing for the last couple of months. Then, bang! You get the chance to lead your own team. You were excited and happy for the first time in weeks. I was scared. I mean, without SG-1 between us, there isn't much bridging the gap." "What?" "Well if we'd met in the Officer's Club instead of the briefing room, you wouldn't have looked twice at me." "Once you had found out that I was a scientist, you wouldn't have taken a second look at me either." "I'da looked...Trust me. Most men look. I've had a hard time on numerous occasions refraining from inserting my fist into some poor slob's face that I caught drooling over you. You know, young Lieutenant Graham who's-his-face? He is known to run in the opposite direction when I come down the hall. Guy's becoming quite the sprinter." "There has been no one but you for the last seven years Jack." He pulled his hand away from hers and placed it on her cheek guiding her face to his. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent before pressing his lips to hers. When he kissed her Sam could have sworn she heard bells...But that would have been insane. Soon she was lost in a rosy haze of pleasure that ran from the top of her pale blonde head to the tips of her bright blue toes. Jack was floating in the haze as well. He loved this woman with his whole body and he wanted, no needed, to show her...now! Pressing her back against the bed he slid between her thighs. Settling there, he heard her purr in the back of her throat. He felt more like growling. Slowly, he moved within her, bringing them both pleasure. As he moved, he could feel her nearing release and was having trouble controlling his own need. He slowed, taking a deep breath, telling himself to think of fishing, disassembling and reassembling his P90...anything but her. He'd spent years mastering this technique to keep his mind off her; her sleeping next to him, her sitting next to him at the briefing table, her smiling at him...the list went on. Sam knew what he was doing and loved him for it. She wanted him to find release. "Let go Jack..." He opened his eyes and this time did growl. "Nobody gets left behind Sam..." Even in this state he could make her laugh. Grabbing his face in her hands she kissed him passionately, causing him to press against her deeper and she soon found her release. She called out his name and then went limp in his arms. Jack followed close on her heels, and smiling in satisfaction, he rolled them over. Running a hand through her hair, he purred. She took a moment to get her breath back and then smacked him on the shoulder. "Nobody gets left behind?...Really, Jack!" "It seemed like the thing to say at the time." "I am so in love with you, Jack O'Neill." "Well I am a loveable kind of guy..." "Yup and see, you really do like me...I told you so, just before we went through the Gate the first time." "And I told you that I adored you already...and I did. I think it was the way your nose wrinkles when you smile...But it has to be the special smile, the one that you give me when I've done something that you find utterly charming." She had been running her fingers through the fine hair on his chest. That comment caused her to laugh and tug lightly at it. He yelped in surprise and mock pain. "Cruel and unusual Major...cruel and unusual." He lifted his head up and kissed the tip of that nose that he liked to see wrinkle. "'Nuff laying around...You need to pack, I need to finish my shower...alone...and then we need to get to my place. I'll need to stop there to get some stuff." "Jack..." "Yeah?" "Bring your dress uniform. I want to marry my Colonel, and you always make my knees weak when you wear your dress uniform." "You always make my knees weak, full stop...Probably what caused me the ACL problem. You are a dangerous woman to love." "Black Widow Carter, that's me." "Bring it on, baby, I've survived worse." Here eyes flicked heavenward for a moment as she spoke. "Thank you, God, for a brave man." With a grin, she looked back into his eyes, a hint of seriousness marking her happy features. "With my track record with men, you have to be brave...Either that or stupid. And no matter how hard you try, you'll never convince me that you're stupid." "I'm no Daniel." "I love Daniel like a brother, but thank God you're not him. I swear sometimes he bores even me and *I* understand the jargon. By the way, what was your area of study?" "Hmmm?" "Your degrees? I know that you have them, I just don't know what they are.' "Hey, we need to leave a little mystery in our relationship." "Jack!" "My undergrad degree's in World History..." "And the graduate?" "That's for me to know and you to bribe the General for." "Jack!" "I can't hear you...la la la...I'm in the shower already." He laughed when the pillow hit him on the back of the head. He would need to remember that for the future -- his wife-to-be had one hell of an arm!
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It was early afternoon when they landed in Las Vegas. Jack wanted to find a nice chapel and get married right away, but Sam convinced him that they should get a room first. They did, but he demanded that they stay at the Luxor...Something about it being apropos appealed to his slightly twisted sense of humor. Sam found herself, surprisingly, a little creeped-out by all of the Egyptian Gods decorating the walls, some of which she'd actually met in person. She left Jack in their room, the Apophis Suite (without a reservation they had to take what they could get and Fate seemed to be having a good time laughing at them today). She told him that she needed to go shopping for a dress and he couldn't come with her. He put up a token resistance but his heart wasn't in it. They agreed to meet downstairs at 1900 sharp. She'd need the time as she wanted to get her hair done, too. Jack knew that the 'Black Widow' label bothered her, and that she didn't want to run the risk of tempting fate and cursing them with any possible bad luck. He thought she was being silly, after all she was a scientist and superstition was the opposite of who she was. But there had been so many things that they'd seen and done that had broken the laws of physics, biology, chemistry, and reality that she might be right. Jack went down to the gift store and bought a lucky penny and a rabbit's foot, just in case. He returned to their room...He said it again in his head 'their room', and felt his heart trip at the thought of what they were doing. He had no regrets over quitting his job. He loved what he did and was proud of most of the things he'd done for his country, but he'd lived it for far too long and he was ready to move on. He was a little anxious for Carter...Sam...He could call her Sam now, he didn't need to hide behind her last name. He had tried to call her Sam, had done so once or twice during the first couple of years they worked together, but after a while, his feelings, well, they had been too intense for him to be so casual around her. If anybody had thought it odd that he always referred to her as Carter, they'd been smart enough not to mention it. He even called her Carter when he was talking to her Dad. Oh shit. Jack O'Neill didn't scare easily, some would say didn't scare at all, but the thought of facing Jacob Carter after sneaking off with his daughter and getting married, made his blood run cold. Shit, shit, shit! No. He wasn't going to dwell on it here and now. He'd face it when the time came. Meanwhile, back at the ranch... He wanted to surprise Sam when they got back here tonight. There was a chapel across the street that would marry them and Jack wanted a wedding night to beat all wedding nights. He'd called the chapel and made arrangements. Next he called the concierge up to the room in hopes of getting a hand with his plans for tonight. Sam was going to die, which was okay because with their track record, she'd be back from the dead sooner rather than later. Jack didn't gamble. Well, not with money. His life, maybe, but not his money. So when the clock struck five and he was done with the final touches on his brilliant plan, he was bored. Bored, bored, bored. Nothing on TV, at least nothing a man needed to watch on his wedding day. His bachelor party maybe, but definitely not on his wedding day. Then it hit him. "Rings!" Taking off at a run he caught the elevator and headed downstairs. Normally he wouldn't shop in Vegas, but this, like the dress, was special. In one of the higher end jewelers he found what he wanted. Jack had been stationed out of Nellis years ago and had gotten to know a bit about Vegas. If he was lucky and the guy was still there, there was a German jeweler who worked in 18 carat gold and incredibly detailed layer upon layer of enamel. There were ten different designs but the one that stood out to him was in a display of Egyptian styled jewelry. He bought matching bands. Knowing Sam as well as he did, he knew she wouldn't want to wear a lot of jewelry. One ring he could get away with, but an engagement ring and a wedding band. No way. The matching his and hers bands were gold rimmed, with an enamel band in bright lapis lazuli blue. Inside the blue were tiny umber-colored ankhs trimmed in gold. He knew enough about Egyptian culture to know that the ankh was the Egyptian symbol of life...And he felt that his new life had begun when he'd met her. They were perfect, not too fussy, she wouldn't appreciate fussy anymore than he did, but they were beautiful, meaningful. After all, how many times had one of these Egyptian Gods tried to end their lives? He bought them, guessing on the size of her long thin fingers. That killed an hour. Patting the pocket where he'd stuffed the little velvet rings bag, he returned to their room to see that the concierge had begun his work, or at least sent a toady up to start the work. There were tulips everywhere and in every color imaginable. Sam had once mentioned in casual conversation that roses always reminded her of her mother's funeral, so he'd chosen the flower that he'd seen growing under her window sills every spring. Anyway, tulips were happy little flowers. The man from the hotel had thought of something Jack hadn't. He had the florist send up a dozen white lilies tied with a lavender silk ribbon. They were long stemmed and suited Sam to a T. Long, slender, elegant, and beautiful, they reminded Jack of his beloved. He showered, again. This time wasn't nearly as much fun as his morning shower. He then made his way into the bedroom and patted himself with some of the smelly stuff he'd gotten from Cassie last Christmas. He took care dressing. He hated wearing the fussy dress mess uniform. The shiny brass buttons and gold braid were always so hard to arrange just so. After struggling with the cummerbund and tie briefly, he was ready to go downstairs to meet his wife-to-be at five to seven. The hotel staff looked on in awe at the Full Bird Colonel in a full formal dress uniform walking through the lobby. He was an impressive sight, even with his cover under his right arm. He saw her right away. He always knew the minute she entered a room. She hurried across the lobby carrying a dress bag and a couple of other shopping bags over her arm. His breath caught just looking at her. She'd had something done to her hair other than a simple trim. It was shinier than when he'd last been near her and it did something...different...around those perfect cheekbones and eyes. She was wearing make up too. Her bright blue eyes sparkled at him from under mascara-coated lashes. He'd never seen her quite this dolled-up and was taken aback at what a truly beautiful woman she was. "Sam..." He saw her take a breath and her eyes widened at the sight of him in uniform. He wasn't a vain man, but he knew he looked good in the formal attire. "Wow." She sighed. "Is everything ready?" "Yeah." His throat was dry. "Okay, tell me where we're going and I'll go up and change, then meet you there." "No." He barked it, then told himself to relax. "They have a room at the chapel where you can change. We have about 20 minutes." "I'll only need five." He held out his arm and smiled when she took it. He escorted her out the door and to the chapel, which was literally within walking distance. There they separated. He watched her slip into the room at the back of the building. He looked around the ceremony room. It was nice...simple, pretty and kind of sweet. It wasn't the big church wedding that he and Sarah had had and Jack hoped that Sam would forgive him for that. He didn't want this to be the way they started their lives together, under the veil of secrecy. But he was scared that they would wake from this dream before they'd had a chance to be happy. He would give her a wedding reception the likes of which Colorado Springs had never seen when they got back. When she was legally his wife. He turned to look back at the door to the room at the back of the chapel and suddenly felt like he'd been pole-axed. She was standing there looking straight at him and she was simply breathtaking. Somewhere she had found a simple long white sheath smooth and made of something slightly shimmery, that fell to the floor at the back, dragging behind slightly. At five ten, she was tall for a woman, and after a week of worry, a week where she hadn't eaten much, she was almost painfully thin. The dress was slit up the thigh on both sides, exposing a hint of leg when she moved. She had pulled on a pair of shimmery nylons that teased him by peeking out every once in a while as she walked. The top of the dress was simple, thin straps that held the material up over her breasts, but as she stretched around to adjust something he got to see the back... Oh boy. The back was what made the dress. It was cut low to the top of her hips, a criss-cross of white straps holding it in place. She had a strong, straight back and, shining across the length of the room, it was the most sensual thing he thought he'd ever seen. Sam preferred simplicity. She had nothing on her head or in her hair. Her make up, heavier than he'd ever seen her wear, was still very elegant. She was carrying the flowers he'd given her back at the hotel. She walked up the aisle in a typical no-nonsense stride and took his hand in her own. He was relieved to find her palm a little damp, telling him that although she looked in control, she was just as nervous as he was. They walked together to where the Justice of the Peace stood and waited patiently for him to begin. "Dearly beloved..." It was a simple thing. Jack just said the words and they were married. "I Jonathon take you Samantha to be my wife. I promise to love and serve you...To protect and honor you...In sickness...And in health. For as long as we both shall live." The JP looked at them oddly when he added. "And even longer..." Jack smiled at her because Sam was crying as she made her promise to him. Those damn happy tears had formed in his eyes too. He sniffed, and rubbed at his eyes once or twice, but he made it through the ceremony without a total meltdown. It was one of the biggest moments of his life, right up there with his first wedding, and the birth of his son. He would always love Sarah, the love of his youth. But Sam, she was the love of his life and now she was his wife. When the JP told them to kiss, Sam witnessed Jack lose his precious grip on his emotions. It wasn't an actual loss, but more like a slip and she was deeply touched to see a tear slip down his cheek. She reached up and wiped it softly with her thumb. "I love you, Jack." "I love you, Samantha."
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For better or for worse, they had done it. Jack and Sam were legally husband and wife. They returned to the Apophis Suite but before she could enter the room, Jack stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. "I've been waiting a long time to do this..." He pulled her close and laughed when she squealed in surprise. Bending at the knees he had leaned down and scooped her up into his arms to carry her across the threshold. Sam buried her face in his neck, inhaled the scent that was Jack alone, then devilishly began to nibble on the corded muscle that ran from his jaw line to his clavicle. Jack nearly moaned when his wife began to torment him. She was enjoying this *way* too much. He'd only let her have her way for a couple more years before he put a stop to this torture. He tilted his chin towards her and heard her laugh. "No giggling, wife...Take a look." He was feeling uncharacteristically unsure of himself. She gasped aloud as she looked around at the room. Everywhere she looked there were red, coral, pink, yellow and orange tulips and tiny tea light candles. There were tiny glittering lights scattered around the main room of the suite and a table for two, set up against the patio window overlooking the glittering lights of the city. It was beautiful, and without her permission, tears began to form in her eyes. For a tough Air Force ex-Major, she was sure crying a lot. "Oh, Jack...This is the most beautiful...Oh. Jack..." He was still holding her in his arms and he squeezed her just a little tighter as the tears began to fall. This time he knew right away that these were happy tears. "So, ya' like?" "I love you, Jack." "I love you too...Shall we eat?" He dropped his right arm, swinging her feet to the floor, but he kept his left arm around her waist. He liked the way she kept her arms around his neck and didn't step away from his body. One really good thing about her height was that in the shoes she had on, they were almost eye to eye. He couldn't stop himself from leaning in for a kiss. He then had to force himself back when she turned it into an invitation. "Oh yeah, we'll do plenty of that, but let's eat first, okay?" "When did you have time for all of this?" "You went shopping, I went to the phone...Now, after you." Jack pulled out the chair at the small table and motioned her to sit. From out of the small kitchen came a waiter with their appetizers. Another young man entered the room and turned on the stereo and then opened a bottle of champagne. He poured two glasses, plopped the bottle into the frosty holder at Jack's right elbow, and then slipped away quietly. "What did you order?" "These are crab and mushroom croquettes. The rest is a surprise." He watched her face light up as she bit into the pastry. Sam had a thing for seafood, so he'd ordered them the surf and turf, Australian Rock Lobster tails and medium rare 1-1/2 inch thick NY strip steaks. Jack had always enjoyed watching her eat. Sam was a tall woman, a little too thin he sometimes thought, but she could eat when she was given the chance. She was also military and knew to eat when food was placed in front of her. She wouldn't be embarrassed to eat in front of him. The food sent up by room service was phenomenal, as was the wine. They both enjoyed the meal but Sam was going to flip over the dessert. The waiters brought them two servings of a warm, dark chocolate cake, smothered in a raspberry and Chambord liqueur sauce and two cups of dark, rich coffee. He'd heard the sound she made at the first bite twice before...When they were making love. He couldn't help himself, he laughed aloud at her. "Enjoying yourself?" "I would kill for this dessert. I would pull out my sidearm and actually kill someone for this cake. I have never eaten anything like it. This would get an emotional reaction out of Teal'C." She finished her dessert with a sigh of regret. Jack just smiled, shook his head, and stood. "Dance with me?" Sam was surprised at his question. He didn't dance, at least she'd never seen him do it, but she stepped into his arms automatically. "My knees used to give me grief." He could read her mind. "But since Ba'al..." Sam felt her heart lurch at the sound of the System Lord's name. "I'm sorry." "For what Sam?" "For everything that happened with Ba'al...It's my fault, I'll never forgive myself for asking..." "Forgive yourself? For what? Nothing is your fault." "Your blending with Kana'an...It was because I asked you to do it that you did." "Well, it wouldn't have been my first choice, but I know now and I knew then that it was the only option...I don't blame you." "But I do Jack...Just like Maybourne getting my Zat was my fault. I nearly lost you twice, by my own hand." "First thing...Nothing that Ba'al did had anything to do with you. That son-of-a-bitch was responsible for everything he did to me...Just him. Secondly, Maybourne is a weasel. He is not to be trusted and I got to shoot him, twice, and that makes up for it." The held each other in silence, not moving anymore. He caressed her face softly. "He hurt you so badly." She said it softly, her voice still full of pain. "It's okay...I held on, I made it home because of you. You figured it out and saved my ass, again. God Sam, without you, I'd be lost...Still stuck on Edora." Jack could have bitten his own tongue off when she stiffened at the sound of the planet that he'd nearly made his home. "I'm sorry, Sam." "Laira...You loved her." "She was a beautiful person and I had resigned myself to staying on Edora. I wasn't happy about it...But I was resigned to staying." "You asked her to come back with you." "We had...uh, well we'd..." "I don't want to hear it, Jack." The silence was a sudden, physical thing between them. She was hurt, again, by his betrayal even though he hadn't known about her feelings for him at the time. She didn't know if he'd even had feelings for her at the time. "I went back...About six months later." She stiffened even more in his arms, her breathing becoming noticeably heavier. "And?" "I had failed her." Puzzlement creased Sam's brow. "I don't understand." "She had asked me for something, the night before Teal'C dug his way out...And I failed her." "What did she ask you for, Jack?" He so didn't want to have to tell his new wife this, but there was no way around it. He was going to have to tell Sam that he had volunteered to father a child with another woman. "She wanted a child..." He would have rather that Sam never found this out, but he believed in openness and honesty in a relationship. While they hadn't been able to talk about their feelings, they'd never actually lied about them either. Laira was in the past, but they had a lot of things that they needed to talk about that lived in their past. The tears in her eyes tore at him, but it was time to clear the air, about everything. He wasn't sure that he wanted the answer to his next question "Sam, I have to ask..." "Jack...Don't..." "Please...Were you in love with Martouf?" She turned her head away. The truth was, she didn't know. Her feelings for Martouf were complicated, hard to explain, even to herself. "Martouf was one of a kind...The emotions that Jolinar felt for him were like nothing I'd ever felt before...Not even for Jonas. Jolinar and Martouf had been together for longer than I've been alive. Hundreds of years, Jack." "But what about you?" "It was hard to separate Jolinar from me when it came to Martouf...That's how intense her feelings were. I liked Martouf. He was as kind and generous...Jack." Her new husband had wrinkled his nose. "But did I love him? Given time, I think I could have. But when I shot and killed him, you were the only one I loved. I had just told you as much." "Narim? Orlin?" "Jack, I never thought that we'd get to the point where we could be together..." "Tomorrow matters, today matters, yesterday is over..." He repeated his personal mantra aloud to her for the first time, hoping she would understand why he was saying this. "I love you...And this last week, I was so scared that you wanted me gone." "I was being an idiot...Hard to believe I know...But I was scared, too. You had command of SG-11, and I thought that if you weren't part of SG-1 I wouldn't have anything to hold onto you with. I thought that I was losing you...I thought that you wouldn't want or need me, if you..." "Jack..." She stopped his words as she took his face in her hands and looked directly into his eyes. "I have been in love with you for seven years...I fell in love with you because of who you are...Not because you are, were, my CO." "I don't get that." "What I can't understand is how you fell for a scientist?" "I fell for a pair of beautiful blue eyes and a heart bigger than the Universe. I knew that I was a goner, back when we were unsure what was going to happen with Cassie...I very nearly wrung your neck when you got back to the surface." "Well, I knew in the Antarctic...the first time." "No way." "Yes way. When we lay there, pretty damn sure that we were dying, I realized that you weren't just my CO...That the honor wasn't just in serving with you, but being with you. It is an honor just being allowed to work with you, Jack O'Neill. Just being allowed to wake up in the morning and know that you're around the next corner, and maybe, just maybe, I can do something to make you proud of me." "My opinion doesn't mean that much, Sam...What baffles me is that with everything that I've done, the horrors and atrocities that I have seen and committed, you even let me breathe the same air as you." "Come to bed with me, Jack. Please, let me show you how much I love you." She took his hand in hers and led him to the bedroom. It had been decorated similarly to the living room. At some point, after the dessert was served probably, the waiters had come in here and lit the candles that were spread out on every surface. They were going to have the night of their lives. Their first as husband and wife.
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"I suppose that we should head back to Colorado Springs...huh?" Jack was looking at Sam over the rim of his glass. They were laying out by the pool, he in a pair of long trunks, her in a bikini that should have been illegal. She'd been hit on twice on the way to the bathroom. It was those legs, he was sure of it. If he had been a jealous man, which he was, and if he'd thought that she couldn't have handled any unwanted attention from any man on the street, which she could, he would have had to hurt someone. She was more than capable, his wife, so he had just sat there, grinning like the cat who'd gotten the cream, and watched his wife saunter across the deck. Now they both lay on deck chairs sunning themselves. Jack was pretty sure that this was the longest he'd ever seen Carter motionless...Her natural energy usually caused her to be in constant motion. He felt a smug thrill as he realized that might have actually tired her out this weekend. "I guess...Hmmmm it's been what, three days? We'll go tomorrow." "Or not...I think that's Davis coming our way." They both watched Major Paul Davis, in his dress blues, walked towards them. Jack watched as he nearly swallowed his tongue when he recognized Sam in her bathing suit. "Colonel O'Neill..." "Retired!" He supplied happily. Uh, Major Carter..." "Former." She murmured. "From what I understand, not so much." "Margarita, Major?" "Did you hear what I said, Colonel?" "Yup, but I'm ignoring it as you've been outta the loop..." "Not as far out as you obviously." "Major, what are you talking about?" "Major, uh, my oh, uhm..." "The drooling is not attractive Davis." "Drooling sir?" "Yeah, that's my wife you're slobbering on." "Your what!?" "Wife. As in 'dearly beloved we are gathered here together'...You might want to congratulate us." There was a long pause in the conversation, while Davis digested the news. "You do realize that you two still work together, for the US Air Force, right? That General Hammond had to run a trace on your credit card, Colonel, to find you here, because neither of you were answering your cell phones? Tell me that some of this is ringing a bell?" Jack wasn't beyond pulling rank, even if he was retired, a trick he'd learned from Sam's Dad. "Major?" He growled it, putting on his best 'pissed-off Colonel' face. Paul Davis was sweating. He'd been visiting Nellis and area 51 when General Hammond had contacted him and asked him to stop by the Luxor Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas and pick up his errant Colonel...Who would probably know where his top scientist was. Davis didn't expect them to be hanging out together, poolside, for Pete's sake. "I guess we'll have to go back sooner rather than later, Jack." Sam slid her sunglasses down her nose and looked at her husband. "He's wrong...I for one know that I placed my letter of retirement on George's desk - in George's hand, for cryin' out loud - before I left the mountain." "And I dropped my letter onto the General's desk before I left..." "But did either of you hear him accept the letters?" Davis asked stunned at the turn of events. "I didn't hear him say anything different." Sam replied. "Oh boy." Davis pulled out his cell phone and started to dial a number few people knew. "Davis..." Jack growled, again. "You need to talk to the General. Both of you." "Give me the phone." Jack took the phone from the Major and waited, briefly, for it to be answered. "Hammond." "George, it's Jack...Do I still work there?" "Colonel O'Neill? Where the hell have you been?" "Las Vegas, getting married...Sam says hi!" "Son of a...What have you done?" "Something I should have done years ago...I retired." "Would it be too much of an inconvenience for you to come home? I believe that there is a plane waiting at Nellis. I expect to see you and Major...Carter, in my office tonight." "Okee-dokee, but I still say that I've retired." "Just get here, Jack...Oh and I hope that you plan on telling Jacob about this, 'cause, son, I sure am not gonna be the one."
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It was strange that Sam and Jack found themselves waiting for General Hammond in his office. He was on the base, just not in his office. Jack looked at her and felt like they'd been sent there like naughty children sent to the principals office. "Do you think we'll get the strap?" He asked. "This is serious, Sir...Jack." She was nervous, she hadn't called him 'Sir' in two days. "I think, from a legal standpoint, we're okay...We both thought, in good faith, that neither of us worked for the Air Force any longer. I'd retired and you'd resigned you commission." He took her ice-cold hand in his. "We'll be fine..." She threaded her fingers through his. "Why do I feel like we've disappointed him?" "He's not your Dad..." "Oh boy..." She paled at that thought. "I really love you, and I have no regrets about marrying you, but there are a few people that I'm not looking forward to telling that we eloped." "We're tough Sam, you and I, soldiers trained by the United States Air Force...A skinny archaeologist is no match for us...." "What about a Jaffa and a pissed off former General?" She muttered. They both jumped to their feet as the door opened. "At ease, you two...Sit, sit." George Hammond entered his office and waved at his two officers. He sat on the edge of his desk and pinched at the bridge of his nose, as of he had a headache. "Hey George, sorry we didn't bring you anything back from Vegas..." "Don't push me, Jack...After the day I've had...After the strings I've had to pull to keep you two in the service..." The older man sighed gustily. "Keep the two of us in the service, Sir?" Sam asked. "Yes Major Carter...Do I still call you Major Carter?" "Well unless I've been court-martialed...Yes, Sir." "No Major, you haven't been court-martialed...Just the opposite, in fact." Hammond scrubbed at his face with a tired hand. "Sir?" "Jack...We'll be throwing together a party." "General?" "Well, the President and the Joint Chiefs have decided to give the Major here a promotion...Your wife is now a Lieutenant Colonel and head of the Sciences department of Stargate Command. And with you being the head of Operations and no longer her direct superior, we can also celebrate your nuptials." For the first time since he'd entered his office, Hammond smiled. "You two deserve this. Congratulations." "I don't believe this, Sir..." "You did this George?" Sam and Jack looked at each other and then at their superior officer. "I pulled a few strings, called in a few old favors that I had tucked away for a rainy day, and Sam, your Dad's name still carries a lot of weight...I only ask that I be allowed to watch when you tell him..." Hammond teased. "Sir, I...we...it's just..." "I think what Sam is trying to say is thank you General. We both owe you." Jack stood and saluted the man. Sam jumped to her feet and followed suit. They turned to each other and grinned like idiots. They were married and employed. "Does this mean no more SG-1?" Sam asked, the thought just occurring to her? "No, for the time being everyone thinks that the team should stay as it is...If that's okay with you Colonel O'Neill?" "Fine, I didn't expect to still be part of any team..." "Not you Jack...Sam is now Colonel O'Neill too." "She's decided to keep her name, sir." "So Lieutenant Colonel Carter it is...Seriously, the President and the Joint Chiefs surprised even me...They felt that with everything that SG-1 has done, you two deserve a bit of a break. Providing you keep within the rules and regulations when off world." "Of course...Sir, just because our relationship has changed, doesn't mean we'd run the risk of endangering ourselves and the other members of our team when we were working." "I didn't think you would, Jack. Just getting the formalities out of the way...To tell you the truth, it really wasn't anything that I did...Although I did threaten them with talking to Thor. I reminded them that he rather likes the two of you..." He paused, a small smile playing across his mouth, his eyes holding a far-away look. "Now, I believe Teal'C, Dr Fraser, and Dr Jackson are all on the base...You might want to go tell them what you've done, before the rumor mill gets to them first." Hammond extended his hand to Jack and after shaking it, he looked at Sam, then took her in a hug that embarrassed them both. He had known her when she was still in diapers, after all. "Congratulations you two...I can't believe you did this, but I'm glad that you're finally happy...We'll talk later about the reception and the ceremony. Go and tell the others...and I'll see if I can get a message through to your Dad."
Story Notes: Authors notes: Thanx to The Powers That Be who let me borrow these fine characters. Thanks to Annie Hall and MajCarter for building my confidence. Thanks to the Uber-beta Teresa Potter...she made this into what it is. Honest it's her fault! Feedback is always nice.
Email: hatchepsut@shaw.ca
Email: hatchepsut@shaw.ca
End Notes: Well you did it, thanks for seeing it through to the end. This is my first attempt and any comments that you might have would be appreciated. Thanks again for reading it...I really had fun writing it.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]