samandjack.net

Story Notes: Spoilers: Homecoming.

Season/sequel: Set during Homecoming.

Author's notes: Have no idea where this one came from. Blame my muse.

Dedication: As always, for LEW. For Tricia, for the title and her reaction to the summary. And for DJ, that's two from me now.


***

I live a lie, yeah, believing that you're mine
It's just a waste of time
'cause you're leaving me behind

Wendy Matthews, The day you went away

***

"So….I guess this is it."

She nodded slowly, her eyes darting quickly around the room before finally settling on him. "I guess so."

"It's been….interesting."

He was offered a lop-sided grin for his comment. "To say the least."

"So….."

"So?"

"You knew, right?"

She was cute when she was confused. "Knew what?"

"How I felt about you."

Her eyes darted away from his again. "Yeah, I knew."

"You never felt that way about me though, did you?" Her lips pursed together in deep concentration, and he watched as her brow furred, giving him all the answer that he needed. "I didn't think so."

"It's not that you're not…..I mean you are very…..I just….." She stuttered over her words as she fought to express herself properly.

He shook his head, a little amused at her awkwardness. "Hey, it's okay."

"It is?" He watched as one of her eyebrows skyrocketed.

"Of course it is!" He replied emphatically. "I knew that you wouldn't feel that way, but I guess I'd always hoped."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You can't help how you feel."

"I know that, but I should have said something earlier."

"Like what?" He asked, amused even further.

She blew out a long breath. "I guess there's nothing I could say, huh?"

"No."

He returned to packing his bag, assuming that the conversation was over. He knew that he'd see her again, when they all said goodbye to him, and possibly at a later date. It wasn't goodbye, more like `see you later.'

"Did I ever give you any indication that I…..felt a certain way about you?"

"No."

"Then…..why?"

"Why?" He repeated, confused. How could she not understand? Didn't she know how beautiful she was? How smart? Funny? Charming? Sexy? "I don't know." He finished, unable to complete the thoughts that were flowing through his mind.

She nodded slowly, comprehending what he was saying. Or rather, what he wasn't saying.

"He's a lucky guy, I hope he knows that."

She shot him a warning glance. "Jonas….."

"It's okay, I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yes." He nodded and she left him to pack the rest of his things.

Maybe he wasn't military, or even from Earth, but he knew what was between them. He could see the way that the Colonel looked at her, and the way that she looked at him in return. He'd read all of Doctor Jackson's notes, and noted with interest that he wasn't the only one who'd seen what was between them. He knew about *the* confession. And he knew that she'd gone to see him six weeks earlier, on the second anniversary of the day. And he was pretty sure he knew what they'd done.

He was leaving in a few moments, and while it was saddening, the new prospects that awaited him on Kelowna were exciting. Zipping the bag, he latched onto it firmly with his uninjured arm and began to walk the corridors of the SGC, towards the Gate room, and his exit.

She was standing there, next to him, and Jonas had no doubt Colonel O'Neill would hear about his confession sooner or later. But he knew that the older man had nothing to worry about. It was obvious how devoted Sam was to him, and he was just a little bit more than jealous of that.

He hugged her goodbye. And for the briefest of seconds he got to feel what it was like to be in her arms. He got to smell her scent one last time before he promised to keep in touch, stepped back, shook the Colonel's hand and headed up the ramp towards the active Stargate.

Stopping at the threshold of the event horizon, Jonas Quinn, formally of SG-1, paused. He turned back to cast one last glance around the room. His former teammates were watching him, as was General Hammond and the recently descended Daniel Jackson.

Sam was smiling, but it wasn't directed at him.

And he was okay with that.

***

End,




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