"What the hell did she see in him?" Jack called from the kitchen, his head stuck in the fridge, searching amongst the bizarre contents for a beer.
Finding one, Jack walked back into the living room and popped the top off of his beer bottle. Dodging Teal'c's crouched form, he walked over to Jackson's balcony doors and went to look out of the window. The rain was still sheeting down and still preventing him from making a run for his car. The windows were mostly misting up but if he breathed on the glass he could just about make out the image of the balcony outside and the rain that was bouncing off of the platform.
Okay, so he was being pathetic. He could have made a run for it and got mighty wet in the process. It was warm in Daniel's apartment... though, currently, 'apartment' was a bit of a stretch. It was mostly a few rooms filled with dusty boxes and equally dusty pieces of furniture. He admitted to himself that he'd much rather be there than going back to his empty house and trying to put off the inevitable task of cleaning his bathroom.
Teal'c thought the place was fascinating, though, and was investigating one of the boxes with apparent relish. Relatively speaking. Some of the items Daniel had brought back from Egypt were things that Teal'c recognized or found similar to things he had back on his own planet.
Daniel, who had long since stopped playing the good host - not that he'd really done a very good impression of it in the first place - and was well and truly ignoring Jack now, looked up vaguely from his desk where he was writing something. He shifted his glasses up his nose. "What? Did you say something? Sorry?"
Jack almost, almost rolled his eyes. "Hansen."
"Who? Oh, him." Daniel looked faintly bemused. "What about him?"
This time, Jack rolled his eyes. "Him and Carter. Don't you think it's weird?"
Really, Jack shouldn't be discussing the woman who was technically his 2IC. Weird to think that. A woman 2IC. And a scientist at that. God, ten years ago he would be fuming.
"Well, she seems to go for that type."
"Oh, know a lot of her exes do you?" Jack teased, turning around and perching on the edge of a chair. It creaked under his weight and he nervously wondered if it was some kind of an antique.
"What is an 'exes'?" Teal'c queried.
Daniel grinned with expectation. He enjoyed 'teaching' Teal'c a little too much, Jack decided.
"Exes is the plural. An 'ex' is a colloquialism. We usually use it as a prefix to something - ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-fiancÚ in Sam's case."
Teal'c looked no wiser. He appealed silently to O'Neill.
Jack tried to summarise. "Basically, Carter's 'ex' is Hansen. They used to be engaged. To be married."
"I see. And you find it strange that a woman such as Samantha Carter would consider uniting herself with a man such as Jonas Hansen."
"Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying."
"He was a proficient warrior," Teal'c announced, before going back to searching through a box.
Daniel chuckled and put down his pen, turning around on his chair and leaning on the back with his elbow. "Ah, in our culture, women don't really... well, that is to say, whether or not they're 'proficient warriors' has little to do with the reasons a woman would chose to marry someone. Though," Daniel cleared his throat, "from what I understand, Sam has only ever dated Air Force."
Jack raised his eyebrows. Somehow this surprised him too. He would have thought Carter would date doctors or something. Guys with brains coming out of their ears. Not that Hansen hadn't had his share of smarts but Jack had seen Captain Carter's file. He'd seen the SAT scores, the pages and pages of recommendations, the rave reviews from General Kerrigan. She had qualifications coming out of every orifice in addition to her proficiency as a soldier. And it was the soldier thing that saved her from being geeky. Just. "No kidding."
"Well, it's not unheard of. She will have been in the Air Force since she was eighteen, Jack. Like you. Most of the men she's come across will have been Air Force."
He supposed so. "So by 'type' you mean Air Force."
"Not really." Daniel made a face and shrugged. "She said it herself: 'lunatic fringe'."
"What the hell does that mean?"
Daniel thought about this for a moment. "It means she has really bad taste in men."
Jack shook his head. "I still think it's weird."
"Daniel, have you looked at Captain Carter recently?"
Jackson blinked at Jack for a few moments. Then a slow smile dawned on his face. "You think she's attractive."
Jack rolled his eyes, immediately turning his automatic defensiveness into sarcasm. "Geez, Daniel, I'm not blind. And it's not just that... it's everything."
"I believe ColonelO'Neill thinks the combined appeal of CaptainCarter's physical attributes, her proficiency in battle and in the field of acquiring knowledge should enable her to secure a more worthy companion."
Jack and Daniel blinked at Teal'c.
"Yeah, Daniel. What he said."
Teal'c inclined his head. "I believe so also. Perhaps she will find happiness with one of you?"
It was a good thing Jack was sitting down because the shock alone was enough to make his knees go weak.
Daniel yelped. "Teal'c! God, I'm married!"
Something flickered across Teal'c's face - something that the cynical side of Jack chose to interpret as sadness. Teal'c, too, did not have much hope in finding Share. "That is true, DanielJackson, forgive me." Teal'c turned his gaze to Jack. "And you, ColonelO'Neill?"
Jack raised his hands in protest. "Still married. Just about."
Teal'c looked confused. In that, well, his brow flickered very, very slightly. "I do not understand. Either you are married or you are not."
"Er... okay, so I'm on the way to..." He swallowed, "... to not being married. But that doesn't make it... I mean, it would be against regulations."
Thank God. Rules and regulations. Wonderful things, he thought, relieved to be able to give Teal'c a concrete reason. Him and Captain Carter... a scientist, for God's sake. It was just...
So not gonna happen. "Guys, come on, can you really see me and Carter... Captain Carter...? Guys?"
Teal'c looked at Daniel. "DanielJackson, I would now like to try some of this 'beer'," he said, changing the subject.
"Sure, Teal'c," Daniel announced, getting up with a grin on his face. "Come with me into the kitchen."
"No, really, guys?" Jack watched Daniel move across the room. "Daniel? Teal'c? Really, me and Carter...?"
No one was listening to him.
God, he hoped this wasn't going to be a running theme.