The hallways are empty. But that's no surprise is it 2300 and most of the staff is at home and probably sound asleep. Just some poor airmen doing night shift. Somehow it's eerie and almost unnatural to wander through the long corridors which are darker than usual. That's because we have to safe money; so we turn off all the lights we don't need. I can hear my footsteps echoing with every step I take and I can't stop me from becoming paranoid. I keep asking myself, what if somebody might spot me? Would they be suspicious what I'm still doing here?
I fight the urge to turn around and check if there's really nobody following me. Hey, what's the problem? I had some reports to do; that took time and before I leave I thought I might check on someone. I just want to make sure a friend of mine is alright. That she doesn't need anything. I'm a commanding officer. We have to take care of our 2IC's. Right, keep telling that to yourself.
Ah, okay. Now comes the difficult part. I have to turn around this corner and enter the infirmary. And I don't want to be detected. I briefly stop and listen. Nothing. Silence. Good. So I sneak forward, I actually tiptoe which probably doesn't really speak in favour of me, but I don't want anybody to ask questions.
I stop and wonder if they *would* suspect anything at all. Would I, if I didn't know *why* I'm coming here in reality? I convince myself I wouldn't and walk the rest of the way as a normal human being with dignity. Okay, a silent human being with dignity who doesn't want to disturb people at that late hour.
I slowly peer into the infirmary and, as I don't see Janet or a nurse, slip in. I walk over to her bed. Okay, I tiptoe but I don't want to wake her up, so it's reasonable.
I stop at her side and look down at her. She's lying on her back, doesn't look too comfortable with her shoulder broken and fixed. She probably doesn't dare to move even unconsciously. I watch her. She looks peaceful, though. I realise I never really *did* watch her when she was asleep. We spent so many nights together on missions, but I never dared to have a look. It sounds strange to admit that I'd love to watch her sleep but it's nothing pervert or so. It secures me. She being asleep secures me, makes me feel...at home.
I realise I have to get out of here, because I can't stand that last thought. Home. She's my home. A home I'll probably never have. I wanted to make sure she's alright. She is. Good. Then go.
My feet won't move. Okay, Jack. At least *try* to be reasonable, why are you here? I want her to know that I wanted to rush to her, hold her, see if she has hurt herself badly after her crash with the ramp. I wanted to.... But I couldn't. Not before Daniel, or Teal'c. And especially not before the General. Hell, Kinsey would have thanked me for giving him that good a reason to get rid of me. And then I would have lost you and my life with the SGC. Do you understand that Sam? It's not that I don't care. It's that I care too much.
Then, as if through a wonder, I can feel my feet move. They slowly, silently walk away from her bed and out of the infirmary. They walk along the corridors, enter the elevator and finally drive home.
***
I stir slowly. I can see him walk out of the door, not looking back. Good. I don't want him to know I'm not asleep.
Thank you for dropping by.
I understand.
~FIN~
Story Notes: EMAIL: jr_moon2001@yahoo.de
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SPOILERS: 2001
AUTHORS NOTES: Just a tag for 2001 I had to write. To Sam23. Alles Gute!
FEEDBACK: would be printed and framed and hung at the feedback wall! So, please?
© Jennifer Renner 2003
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SPOILERS: 2001
AUTHORS NOTES: Just a tag for 2001 I had to write. To Sam23. Alles Gute!
FEEDBACK: would be printed and framed and hung at the feedback wall! So, please?
© Jennifer Renner 2003
End Notes: That's it. Told ya it was short.
Take Care,
Jenny
Take Care,
Jenny
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]