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Story Notes: Archive Permissions: My site, Jackfic, Carterfic, Heliopolis, SJD yes. Anyone else please ask!

Authors Note: Just a little ditty that came to me as I was watching music vids today.

Date: 29th May 2003


"God! Why do you always have to make this about Joe?"

He walks past me once more, looking through me as he does so.

"Don't turn your back on me Jack."

He stops.

"Why not," he asks quietly. "You did the same to me."

"That's not true and you know it," I reply slowly.

"Isn't it?" he says more clearly, turning to face me. "You really have no idea, do you Carter?"

"Don't I? Then explain to me! Explain why you're too pig headed to help me now. To save the world. We used to do it as a day job Jack! We did it well."

For a moment there is silence, except for the singing of the birds and the sloshing of the water against the deck.

I can do nothing but stare at him, asking him silently to explain to me.

"Jack, I would have done anything for you, you know that. I served with you for four years, and always followed your order. Now I'm asking for something in return. Tell me why you can't find it in you to help me now?" He looks to the ground for a second.

"Because you'll never know how much it killed me not being with you, and then to have to see you with someone else."



Silence.



There's nothing I can say in reply to that.

"It could never of happened, you know that," I say quietly.

"Yeah, I did. But the fact remains that back then I would have done all I could have to have been with you, but then you did all you could to get me away from you."

"That's not how it was."

"Oh wasn't it!" he yells at me. Now he's pissed, and so am I. "You wouldn't believe me Carter! After everything we'd been through, even though you knew."

He trails off, but the unspoken words are known by both of us.

The air is still. The birds have gone.

After a moment he continues.

"Ten years ago you turned your back on me. I had to live with that, even feeling the way I did about you. I learned to live with it. I can't go back Sam. Not now, not ever. I'm sorry."

I lower my eyes to the ground.

I feel guilty, and angry.

"Your not sorry," I breathe before turning and walking from him.

As I step I hear him mumble something.

"I may not be sorry, but I'm still in love with you." I can't answer. The ring on my hand forbids me to.

I just keep walking.



*



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